(#) upinflames 2012-08-26FUCKING FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. what the fuck man? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? TEASE.
oh my GOD, I just want to hug you until you die. YOU WROTE. YOU JUST - GAH. and it's so fucking BEAUTIFUL. how the - I'm like, burning inside, man. Fuckin' burning.
Frank and his paper, and Bandit and Lindsay, AND EMILY, and WHY FRANKIE WHY. and just EVERYTHING.
if you disappear on me again. I'll go ghost ride the whip in 7 am HWY 5 traffic. and you will have to explain to my mom. what happened.
DUDE. I love this. LOVE.
Author's responseOh my good lord I've been sat laughing my ass off at this for five minutes. Thank you so much! xD I'm glad you enjoy my return.
(#) upinflames 2012-08-26Ok, ok. HERE’S my real review. I’m really impulsive so I reread your beautiful writing and actually did some (or tried) constructive criticism.
I’m nothing but a broken child and I have no dreams. I don’t need dreams with your sticky halo of warmth permanently smeared across my forehead. It hurts baby, it HURTS to be able to think and feel and scream and cry and laugh and…live.
You can’t even BEGIN to understand how that hit me. Actually Frank’s entire piece. It’s so dark and suffocating – I read that and my heart turned over in my chest. Frank’s character makes my heart hurt, in the best of ways.
I also love how you escaped from the ever repeating cliché of Gerard and Mikey’s relationship being so airtight. It’s a little detail that’s so new and refreshing. Well, not refreshing, but something different to think about. I can imagine how Gerard just gets more and more separated from Mikey’s American dream after Lindsay dies; how the longing makes him stray away…
Ugh, Alicia made me cringe with her insensitiveness and thoughtlessness, which is kinda awful cos I love her, but, hey, someone had to cause the tears. And BANDIT! That little detail how Gerard doesn’t say a word when she swears makes me smile. Cos in my experience, most parents aren’t too keen on swearing.
And Gerard with his grading. Refers to Mikeys_Glasses post, right? I do understand that, sometimes we tend to get snobby, trust me, I KNOW, and how Frank just jumps in there, marking himself as the weird one who doesn’t fit anywhere and ugh.
When I was a child my grandmother used to tell me these strange tales, that on a windy day God blows away your troubles and that a rainy day he cries for those less fortunate than yourself. I wonder what she would have said about the snow. An effort to cleanse the world of sin perhaps, to create a blank canvas to start afresh on?
Oh my god. WHY DID YOU EVER STOP WRITING? That just – asdfghjkla;
[aaand that was the reason I don’t do constructive critism. Cos I suck at it. But im sure that was better than the last review I left. Update soon, love.]
Author's responseOh it makes me so happy someone noticed the tiny details I threw in! Especially the part with Bandit, I wanted to get across that Gerard treats her as a friend rather than a daughter, which is obviously not good. Thank you for this! ^.^
- Um... I don't have much constructive criticism. Just keep doing what you're doing because it's amazing. I love how you describe everything so completely and perfectly, and Frank's poetry was beautiful and scary. Which is the best kind. I am really looking forward to part two! Oh my god, never stop writing, please.
(#) AlteredStateOfMind 2012-08-27Gah, totally love this. I can't wait to read the next part!
As for constructive criticism, I can't think of much. I love your writing style and the way you portray Gerard's emotions through his thoughts.
The only thing I can think of is that the dialogue between the characters was a bit too formal, in my opinion. As in Mikey and Gerard are close brothers in the story, so I wouldn't picture them addressing each other so formally in real life.
But that's just me, I could be wrong or maybe you did that purposely, I don't know.
Anyway, I hope this random two-shot means you're considering writing again, 'cause I've missed seeing your work around here :)
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