Stefan phones Ashley one last time before making a fatal decision.....
When All Things Fail
As soon as it hit 6:00am Stefan Abingdon's alarm went off. He shot up and ran his fingers through his hair, blinking wildly to wake himself up. He turned off the alarm and got out of bed, instantly heading for the door. His mum would already be up and about, he knew that, she would most likely be making breakfast. But little did she know there would be one less person sat at the table. The hallway to the bathroom seemed longer than usual because he didn't really want to go there.
He glanced into the kitchen as he walked by, his suspicions confirmed when he saw his mum standing by the cooker making some eggs. He bit his lip, which was only beginning to heal after the other day. Guilt pounded at his heart but he ignored it and entered the bathroom, slowley shutting the door behind him, the cold air hitting him. Why were bathrooms always cold? Stefan sat on the edge of the bath. He was only wearing his boxers so the freezing cold tub made him wince as it touched the back of his thighs. He could see how knobbly his knees had become and how stick thin his legs were. All the time, every second of the day, he had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill. He hated it. It was like an unwanted guest who just wont wont leave your house.
He turned his phone over in his hand, sliding it around. He was obsessed. He knew that much. And that made him feel guilty for Ashley. How terrified would Ashley be if he found out the truth. Their friendship would crumble and Stefan wouldn't think twice about what he was going to do today. He had suffered enough hadn't he? Why did God have to cast this misery on him? He phoned Ashley for the millionth time since they made friends, but of course this time was different. He needed to see him. Just to say goodbye.
"Yup?" Ashley's mere voice sent shockwaves of pain crashing over his body and he was shocked at the effect it had on him. He closed his eyes and sighed slowley before finding the courage to reply.
"Hey Ash... its me, Stef," he said quietly, his voice almost breaking into a whisper, "uhm, I was just wondering if you'd wanna meet up today? Maybe at lunch?"
"Yeah sure, what are you doing up so early anyway? Its not like you to be out of bed before midday..." Ashly enquired, a slight chuckle in his voice. Man, Stefan was gonna miss him. Big time. He laughed too, the fact he was crying obvious in his voice.
"Yeah well, I couldn't sleep..."
"Hey wait, Stef... is everything ok? You sound like you're crying?" He asked, concern tracing his voice. Stefan liked the fact he was worried about him, the fact he cared, but it didn't help him now. Right now it would be better if Ashley didn't care about him.
"Yep, i'm fine," he sighed, but the sadness was still clear, "look, I just need to see you, ok? We need to talk..."
"Uhh, sure. Where shall we meet?" Ashley wondered, still sounding a little scared. Stefan thought for a moment before answering.
"The bridge. Y'know the one we used to go to when we were kids, its east of Fulham park." Stefan explained, feeling a stab at his heart as his mind was bought back to when they were children. Back to the simpler times that he missed more than anything. He ached for those times. But he didn't want to ache for Ashley.
"Ok, I know where you mean."
"Cool, see you." Stefan hung up before he burst into tears. Ashley's voice would maybe make him feel a little better before... before he did it. And before he actually did burst into tears, he stood up and fled from the bathroom, bringing all his strength forward. He needed it if he were to suceed his plans.