Gerard comes home from the hospital... Fluff?
Rated R for swearing
Chapter title from You Me At Six, because this song gets me right in the feels...
Chapter 23- Stay With Me
It's been two days since Gerard was attacked by Andy, and the bastard still hasn't got what's coming to him. If it wasn't for Gee begging me not to go searching for that motherfucker, he'd be so dead right now. But I couldn't leave Gerard how he was, he was a complete wreck. Andy somehow managed to break down all the progress Gerard had made over the past couple of weeks and put him back to square one. He's hardly spoken since that day, and when he has it's been short and simple, and only to me or Mikey. His Mom is at a loss of what to do, she wants to comfort her child, yet she has no idea how to do so. I can see in her eyes how much this is killing her.
Gerard's been told he can go home today, and we've spent the past half hour getting him ready to leave. It's amazing how much mess one person can make in just two days. There's pencils spread out everywhere, clothes on the floor, it's like his bedroom at his house. Seriously, why did they bring him so many clothes? He's only been here two days! Of course, Gee is just sitting on the bed, attatched to his sketchbook as he has been since Becky bought it over. He keeps looking up at me, unaware that I've noticed him and then looking back down again. I put his bag down on the floor and face him head on, waiting for him to look up again. When he does, he looks shocked to see me staring at him and he starts to go pink in the cheeks.
"Are you drawing me?" I ask silkily. He nibbles on his bottom lip as he nods slightly.
"Yes. Do you mind?"
"No, not at all! Can I.... Can I see it?" His face looks scared for a second, and I expect the same answer I've gotten since we've been here. He doesn't like people lookinng at his sketch book. I pick his bag up again and start collecting t shirts from the floor again.
"Well, uh... I'm not finished yet, but when I'm done you can." My head shoots up as his quiet voice travels across the room. I quirk an eyebrow in response.
"Are you sure? I didn't think you liked people looking." Gerard looks thoughtful for a second before replying.
"Well it's different with you. Plus you've been asking me for a while and I hate saying no... So I'll show you." I don't reply, instead giving him a big grin. I'm all excited now, I've been waiting for this for ages!
I watch Gerard as he continues to sketch. The pure concentration on his face makes it evident how much effort he puts into each drawing. I can only imagine the amount of detail he puts onto that paper. What's also strange is the fact that for the first time since I've met him, he looks completely carefree and untroubled. It's like drawing helps him almost transport to another place or something, somewhere away from all the bull shit and fucked up things in the world. He looks happy.
I shove the last of Gerard's clothes in the bag and put it by the door. While we wait for Gerard's Mom to come back from wherever she went, we stay silent. It's only after gazing at him for another five minutes that I walk over and sit next to him on the bed. He looks up and hugs his book to his chest, shielding it from my view.
"I didn't see anything, I promise." I smirk at his panicked expression.
He relaxes a little and closes the book, putting it down on the bed behind him. He pulls his legs up onto the bed and sits cross legged as he leans into me, head resting on my shoulder. I put my arm around his shoulders and the other one across his front, holding him against me.
"Hey, Gee, can I ask you a question?" He nods against my hoodie, not making a sound. "What is it about drawing that makes you so happy? When I was watching you just now, you were happier than I've ever seen you. Like you didn't have a care in the world. What is it about drawing that makes you feel that way?" I can practically hear Gerard's brain working as he tries to think of an answer.
"I don't know really, I've never thought about it. I guess it's because when I'm drawing, I can create this whole other place, you know? Like an alternate universe where I'm someone else. Hell, even if I just draw something that randomly pops into my head, it still makes me happy because I've created something. Plus, with my drawings, I don't have people constantly judging me all the time, so I can do whatever I want really. Do you know what I mean?"
I just stare at him, completely shocked by what he just said to me. For one, it's the most he's talked since we got here and the first time he's spoken without sounding scared or self conscious. In fact, for the first time since I've met him he actually sounded sure of himself. Second of all, I'm stunned by how much his expression brightened when he was talking about drawing. His smile wasn't shy or hidden, he just didn't care. He's beautiful. A small smile plays on my lips as I continue to look at Gerard.
"I know what you mean. I'm just glad you have something that makes you happy." I say honestly. His expression changes suddenly into one that's almost impossible to read. First confusion, then shock, horror, sadness, and happy again.
"I already have you. As long as I have you I don't need drawing. You make me happy, Frank." He connects our lips gently, his hand resting lightly on the back of my neck. I smile into the kiss and he breaks away, smiling back at me.
"So, you wouldn't care if I... Oh, I don't know, took your sketchbook?" I tease playfully, running my finger along the cover behind him. He quirks an eyebrow in response.
"Oh, I'd care alright." He drawls, nuzzling into my neck. "I may love you, but if you take my sketch book from me I may have to chew your hands off." His breath feels warm against my skin, and it sends tingles down my spine.
"Oh, you're so weird!" I laugh, holding him closer to my body and resting my chin in his hair. "Yet another reason why I love you."
His only response is to bury his head deeper in my chest, as if he's holding on to me for dear life. The room is silent for a few minutes, until I hear a muffled whimper come from Gerard's mouth. When I begin to feel Gerard's sobs shake both of our bodies, I remember just how broken he's become. When I remember that, my hatred for that evil rapist grows. Andy fucking Biersack. And to think I actually thought he was a decent guy. Boy I couldn't have been more wrong.
I I try to comfort Gee, stroking the top of his neck as he cries. "Shh... Gerard, it's okay. It's okay."
I carry on whispering quiet comforts in his ear until we're rejoined by Donna and Mikey. Donna looks at the two of us sat there and she starts crying.
"Oh, Gerard, my poor baby." She coos, rushing over to her child. "It'll get better, I promise." I stand up and walk over to Mikey as Donna hugs Gerard.
"Hey, Frank?" I turn to look at Mikey, who has a steely look on his face, one I'm not used to seeing.
"What are we gonna do about this Andy fuckface?" He spits the words harshly, venom lacing his words. I blink in shock, unable to believe that this boy is the same person as my timid, unicorn loving best friend who loves the gays. He looks vicious, like capable of murder vicious. As his words sink in, I feel my face form a scowl, one that most likely resembles Mikey's.
"I don't know, but he isn't getting away with this. What day is it today?" Mikey's face softens and he screws up his features in concentration.
"Uhm... Wednesday? Yeah, I think Wednesday. Why?" I just smile darkly.
"Because, my dearest Mikey, we have school tomorrow. And guess who goes to said school..."
"Ohhh..." He says in realization. "Andy. That's if he shows up."
"Oh, please. The guy is so arrogant, he probably has his head too far up his own ass to even consider the possibility that we know what he did." My words are dripping with resentment, the extent of my hatred showing in my voice.
"That's true, he's such a prick." Mikey shakes his head in disgust before composing himself and turning back to me. "So tomorrow then? That's when we get him?"
I nod firmly. "Yup. Tomorrow. I hope you have your juice ready." He looks at me as though I'm clinically insane.
"Juice? What for?"
"Killing." I state simply.
"You drink juice when you're killing?" I nod again. "Why?" He asks incredulously.
"'Cause it's fucking delicious!" Mikey gives a short laugh, before sighing again.
"So we're really gonna do this?" He asks half excited, half nervous.
"Yeah we are." I extend a hand and rub his shoulder. We both turn to look at Gerard, the bony boy being cuddled by his Mama. I know I always describe him as broken, but there is literally no other word for it. Andy genuinely broke him.
"Andy's going to pay for what he did."
I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open as Gerard and I lay on his bed together. After having to sleep in those hospital chairs for the last couple of days, this bed is like one big pile of feathers and rainbows, mixed with fairy dust for the extra comfort. Gerard, however, doesn't seem to find it as comfortable as me, twisting and turning on the bed beside me. I turn my head to the left, only to see Gerard staring back at me, his eyes glassy.
"Hey, Gee." I whisper, my breath blowing on his hair slightly.
He doesn't reply, just kisses me before turning away and getting off the bed. I move to join him, but he turns back and raises a hand.
"No, don't get up. You need your sleep." He says softly, brushing my hair with his long, spindly fingers.
"And you don't? You should be the one resting Gerard." I attempt to sound stern, but my facade is ruined by a gigantic yawn erupting from my mouth.
"I can't sleep well, you know that. And anyway, I want to keep busy, if I stay still for too long I end up thinking about...." He trails off, his eyes turning distant.
"Yeah, I understand. What are you going to do then?" I smile up at him through sleep clouded eyes.
"I'm, uh... I'm going to finish off the drawing of you..." He blushes.
"Then I can't be asleep then, can I?" He smiles at this.
"I have a good memory." He states, pulling down the sleeves of his massive hoodie to cover his hands. Seriously, the thing is like a tent, about six sizes too big for him.
"But I want to take care of you!" My voice becoming weaker as sleep begins to take over.
"I'll be fine. My Mom and Mikey are upstairs if I need anything. Just sleep. Please?" His face is so adorable, I can't say no. Well, that and the fact it's physically impossible for me to keep my eyes open.
"M'kay, GeeGee." I slur, flopping back down on the bed and burying my head into Gerard's pillow, inhaling his scent. "I love you." My voice is barely audible, but Gerard still manages to hear it.
"I love you too Frankie." He whispers in my ear, planting a kiss upon my cheek.
"I know you do, Gee."
The last thing I hear before drifting into unconsciousness is the faint sound of Gerard's quiet chuckle.
I find myself drifting back into consciousness, the faint sound of soft singing in the distance.
'And through it all how could you cry for me? 'Cause I don't feel bad about it." The voice is so enticing, I want to hear more. I turn my head toward the sound, wishing it were louder.
"So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep... Just sleep!" I manage to wrench my eyes open, rubbing the sleep away. My body groans in protest as I sit up on the bed, only to be met by the sight of Gerard sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room, completely zoned out as he draws.
"The hardest part, is letting go of your dreams." Gerard finishes on a final perfect note, sighs and looks up at me. He does a double take when he realizes that I'm awake, his eyes wide and his cheeks red.
"Gerard... That song..."
"I know, it's stupid right?"
"I thought it was beautiful. Your voice is incredible." He glances up from beneath his hair, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"You think the song was good?" I nod honestly, gazing at him in awe. How can one person be so talented?
"Well, thank you Frankie. I mean it, thank you." I smile and walk over to him, pulling him back over to the bed.
"No problem. I'm just speaking the truth here." He doesnt have time to blush before I place a kiss on his soft lips, gently stroking the back of his neck. When I pull back, my head is no longer able to support itself so I just fall back into a lying down position.
"You can't still be tired can you? You slept for ages!" I look up at him, my arms placed behind my head.
"What time is it?" I yawn loudly.
"Like, ten in the evening. You must have been pretty tired."
"10 o'clock?! Fuck, why did I wake up?" I sigh dramatically, rubbing my face roughly with my hands.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so loud." He looks down at his hands, which are playing with a loose piece of string hanging off of his hoodie.
"Believe me, Gerard, that is the best possible wake up call I could ever have recieved. I could listen to your voice for hours." My words just come out without me even thinking about them. Maybe that sounded a little too creepy?
"Well, I'm sorry all the same." He shrugs, moving his hand to his face in order to chew at his thumbnail. "I, um.. I finished my d-drawing if you want to see it." He stutters nervously.
"Hells yes!" I shout, sitting up abruptly, making Gerard jump. He gives a shy smile before returning to his armchair to pick up his sketchbook.
"Now, I know it's not great, but you wanted to see it. So, uh... yeah." He hands me the sketchbook before sitting cross legged at the foot of the bed. I flip open the first page, and gasp in shock.
The first drawing in the book is of a small girl sat on the floor. The detail to her dress and face is unreal, the shading absolutely perfect. Her face is etched into one of fear as she cowers away from the dark, faceless figures behind her. It's a very dark picture, but incredible. Absolutely incredible.
"Gerard..." I say, flipping through each drawing, admiring the insane attention to detail in each one. "These are fantastic. So detailed, so life like. You're extremely talented." I catch a glimpse of his red cheeks before I turn my attention back to the drawings. I flip one more page, only for my mouth to drop open in shock.
On the page, is a drawing of me, the most realistic drawing I think I've ever seen. It looks like a photograph. It appears to be me sitting by the window in his hospital room, looking out at the world. He's captured every shadow on my face, the glisten in my eye. Every crease in my clothes, every strand of hair, every freckle, he's drawn it to perfection. The only thing I'd say was different is how he's made me look exceptionally beautiful, my eyes filled with very real emotions, and my skin smooth and flawless. The way he's captured the curve in the corner of my mouth gives the picture that extra bit of life, it honestly is brilliant. I can feel a tear come to my eye.
"Oh, Gerard..." I say, my voice catching in my throat a little.
"I'm sorry. If you don't like it, I'll draw another one-" I push my palm gently over his face, smushing his mouth up so he can't talk.
"Gerard, shut the fuck up. Are you serious? You think I don't like this?" I shake my head in disbelief. "This is the absolute best motherfucking thing I've ever seen! It looks just like me- better, even! You've got a real talent for drawing." He looks up at me as I remove my hand, his head cocked to the side.
"Are you being serious?" He asks suspiciously. "You're not just saying that?"
"Fuck no! Gerard, seriously. This is amazing.... Can I have it?" His eyes bug out of his head in shock.
"I, uh.. I- yeah.. Yeah, if you want it." I beam at him, recieving confused blinks in return.
"Thanks, Gee!" I shout excitedly, hugging him. "I really do love it, you know."
"Thanks, Frankie." He looks at his feet for a minute, before remembering something. "Oh, and by the way- My mom called your Mom and she's fine with you staying here for the night... If you want to?" He finishes with half a smile and a rub of his neck.
"Of course! I couldn't think of anywhere better!" I lay back down on the bed, sighing contently as I feel Gerard's weight fall next to me.
"You've got school tomorrow..." Gerard says with a slight teasing tone to his voice.
"I don't have to... I could stay here with you. Take care of you?"
"No, you don't have to do that.. Plus my Mom is going to stay home for a couple of days, I'll be fine." I look at him suspiciously. "Honestly, I'll be fine! I just need a couple of days to rest... Plus I dont't really want to see... you know." He drops his head, his hair falling into his eyes as he bites his lip. I sit up and lift his face to look at me.
"I know. I'll never let him hurt you. I promise." I kiss his nose and fall back down again.
Gerard just stays there, looking down at me. "I love you, Frankie."
"Love you too, Gee." I say, before drifting into unconsciousness.
I'm so sorry! All that waiting for this let down- I promise I'll try and make the next chapter better! Rate and review to make me happy? You'll get a gun- it comes with a free Justin Bieber! So, yeah... I'm sorry again "/
Love you all,