I was feeling kind of down last night, so I wrote this to distract myself. Eh. You guys can have it.
Mikey turned around, irritated.
"Stop following me!"
The glowing white unicorn he faced looked sad. "But we love you! We want you to be our leader!" the unicorn protested for the millionth time.
Mikey was getting angry. "Look, I can't! I can't go to Unicorn Land and live in rainbows and sunshine! I have a band! A family I don't wanna leave!"
The unicorn looked at him with large, innocent eyes. "Even if you don't love us, we love you. We would follow you to the ends of the earth."
The man was beginning to lose it. "Stop following me! I'm having a crappy day because of you! I GOT BANNED FROM STARBUCKS BECAUSE OF YOU!"
The unicorn exhaled. "Look, man. You don't get it. We NEED YOU TO COME WITH US. We have a coffee river. You are the chosen one!"
Mikey snorted. "Says who?"
The unicorn returned the intense gaze. "Powers bigger than you could ever know."
Mikey rolled his eyes. He turned around to leave. As he started walking however, he heard the clip clop of the unicorn's hooves.
It was still following him.
"YOU NEED TO GO AWAY NOW."
"BUT MIKEY WE LOVE YOU."
Mikey grabbed the knife from his pocket, and before the unicorn could think, Mikey had stabbed it in the heart. Rainbow puddles formed under its body.
"Do you still love me now?" Mikey whispered as he removed the knife from the creature's body and returned it to his pocket.
He walked away feeling better. He hadn't just stabbed a unicorn in the heart; he had stabbed a rumor in the heart. An outlandish rumor that made him look like he loved unicorns, made him look like a cupcake of a man, which he didn't like. He had stabbed the rumor like he stabbed the unicorn.
What Mikey didn't know is that he had also stabbed the hearts of millions of fangirls.