I got home late last night. And when I entered my house, I was expecting Edith watching TV or something. But no, the house was lonely and cold. I made my way to my room in the dark. I stopped what I was doing and stayed silent. I had heard small weeping but I thought It was just me. But no, it was coming from Edith's room. I opened the door slightly and silently like a mouse. From the dim light of the moon, I was able to see her lying down on her bed with the covers over her head. She was the weeper. Could something have happened with Harry? I didn't want to bug her. I'm sure she wanted to be alone so I closed the door silently again and fell asleep myself.
Now this morning, I woke up to silence. It was still really cold in the house. There was no soul awake but mine. So I stood up and walked over to Edith's room again. Opened the door silently and there she was, still laying in bed. I walked over slowly to her and noticed her face sweaty and her eyes puffy. This is bad, what if Harry broke her heart? I swear if he did, ohh he better not come down here..
I make my way back. I don't want to bug her. I'll wait till she gets up..
About an hour later, I was getting ready to go to work but Edith still didn't wake. So I lost my patience and woke her up.
"Edith, wake up. Time to go to school."
"huh? School?" she moaned.
"no just kidding. Wake up!"
She opened her eyes and looked at me strangely.
"why are you waking me up?"
"I wanted to talk." she sits up in her bed and I sit down next to her.
"are you okay?" I ask. She hesitates before answering.
"is everything okay with you and Harry?"
"yes. What's wrong?"
"I heard you crying last night." she looks down at her toes.
"oh, yeah. But it's no big deal."
"Harry didn't provoke you right?"
"well, okay... I'm going to work but If you want to talk, you know where to find me." she nods and lays back down. I pat her leg before leaving.
Edith worries me a lot... I know how she can get when she's heart broken..
I can't go back to sleep. I want to sleep.. And never wake up...
I hate myself right now. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to disappear at the bottom of the Earth and never ever appear again.
But if that were to happen, I wouldn't see the beauty in life...
But I'm screwed right now. I dont know how to fix myself. The only person that I want to see right now is my mommy. She'll know what to do.
And thats exactly what I'll do. I'm going to visit my mom again. So I get out of bed and shower before leaving to my mother's house.
I dreamt yesterday. And I remember what it was. Something that hasn't happened in so long. And I loved my dream. Another thing that hasn't happened. I don't usually remember my dreams but I know they're scary because I wake up feeling like I just lost someone important to me. But this time, I felt warm and fuzzy. Edith was with me in my dream. She was lying down next to me on my bed telling me she loves me. Beautiful isn't it? But too bad it was just a dream... I wish I never woke up and instead lived in that dream. But wishing doesn't get you anywhere...
My door opens and Mikey comes in.
"hey dude, feeling okay?" I sit up on my bed.
"yeah. Why are you here early?"
"Frank told me what happened."
"oh god, don't tell me you knew you too."
"unfortunately, I did. As well as everyone else."
"did she make you guys promise too?"
"yeah. She even made her mom promise."
"wow, how much does she hate me?"
"I don't think she hates you if she came to look for you."
"well whatever made her look for me, I hope it was a good thing." I get up and walk to the restroom.
I shower with hot water. I stand there letting the water fall on my back. I feel so relaxed. I throw my head back and pretend the water droplets sliding down my neck are Edith's tiny kisses all over my neck. It feels so good...
I look at my naked body in the mirror. I've gotten a little fat over the years. I have lost my fit torso from all this drinking. I wonder what Edith would say If she saw it. Probably laugh and think it was cute. Because chubby is cute
--;) who has seen the video when he says that? xD --
I have to loose some weight. I don't look like a blob. I'm still skinny but, I miss my fit torso..
I put on my favorite leather jacket and a Motorheads t-shirt and some skinny jeans before heading out to the living room. I find Mikey and Victoria talking.
"good morning." I say and walk to the kitchen.
"it's past noon." Vicky comments.
"good afternoon." I sit down with them in the living room with my cup of coffee.
"so I need to tell you guys something"
"what is it Gerard?"
"so I'm planning to go look for Edith. Where should I start?" Vicky and Mikey look at each other questionably.
"Gerard, I thought Frank said not to." Vicky says.
"I know, but I can't be wasting time. I need to see her."
"Gerard... I'm with you on this one." Mikey speaks. Vicky and I say a surprised "What?"
"yeah, I dont know why Frank told you that. It's a pretty selfish thing. If you want, I could go with you."
"oh my god, thank you Mikey." I hug him tightly as he pats my back.
"I love you bro." I whisper.
"I'm always here for you. Love you too."
"alright, let's get this journey started." Mikey and I get up.
"Vicky, I'll be back late so, make food for yourself."
"good luck!" she screams and Mikey and I get out of the house.
"where to first?" Mikey asks as he starts the car.
"hmm, her mom must know something. So let's go ask her."
"okay." he speeds up as he takes the freeway down to New Jersey.
We park in front of the building. We both look up at her window.
"ready?" he says.
"let's go." we punch in the code Ms. Lynn gave us to enter and we make our way in. We take the elevator and I'm eager to get upstairs. When the door opens, I jog to her apartment door and knock.
"oh, what a surprise." Ms. Lynn says closing the door behind her.
"hi Ms. Lynn, how are you today?"
"wonderful, and you Gerard?"
"I'm fine thank you. Listen Ms. Lynn, I came to talk to you about something. Can we head inside?"
"I'm afraid not Gerard. I-" she stops and turns around when she hears the door open.
"mom?" the girl says and her face turns the color of paper. She looks straight at me, like she use to when she was scared or surprised; like a scared cat. Edith. Her mother steps aside and covers her mouth with both hands. Mikey also moves out of the way and I tense up. I don't move nor does she and we don't lose eye contact. I take a step forwards. And then another till I completely walk in. She steps back. We're just a few inches away when she starts to run towards the hallway.
"wait!" I yell and she closes her bedroom door before I can go inside.
"Edith please.." I can hear her weeping.
"no Gerard, go away."
"no I won't. I won't till we talk."
"there isn't anything to talk about!"
"Eddie.. Pretty girl, please." I lean on the door with my fist above my head and bang the door ones. Ms. Lynn and Mikey come running to us.
"please Edith! Open the door!" Ms. Lynn yells with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry mom, but no."
"Eddie, darling, you can't run away forever! He's in front of you now, take this chance Edith. I know what I'm telling you." I look at Ms. Lynn in awe. That's something strong to say. I look back at Mikey who has a straight face but I know how hurt he is as well. Edith opens the door and stands in front of her mom. She doesn't look at me. She hugs her mom and whispers sorry.
"I'm not the one you should be saying that to." her mom says and then she looks at me. She lets go of her mom and stands in front of me.
"if we're going to talk, I want it to be you and I only." I nod. She turns to Mikey and hugs him tightly before she signals me to follow her.
We exit the house and walk to the elevator in silence. We keep a distance between us the whole time. She leads me outside of the building and into a car. We get in and she drives away.
We don't talk at all. She turns on the radio and "Tonight" by Def Leppard starts to play. Then she instantly turns the radio off. We heard that song one day when we were a couple. We were at the shack just enjoying our time together before.. Things got "hot." It brings a smile to my face and I want to laugh so I cover my mouth. From my peripheral vision, I see her glance at me then back at the road.
We make a stop and then she sighs.
"where to?" she asks.
"I dont know, you're driving."
"don't act smart with me."
"fine. Go to my place."
"you sure? Or is your little 'girlfriend' there."
"she's there. And that's exactly why we need to go."
"well I'm sorry if and when you get a hospital bill."
What is that suppose to mean?
So she drives to my place. We park right across my building and this time I lead her up to my apartment.
We enter and we find Vicky sitting down doing homework.
"how'd it go?" she says and turns around. She's shocked by the view of Edith.
"Edith, we're all going to talk okay?" she nods and sits on the couch. Vicky and I sit across from her.
"I want to get something straight before anything Edith, Vicky is not my girlfriend. She's my roommate slash friend okay?" she nods. She has a cold expression on her face.
"and I know it seems weird because the last time you were here, it was clear we both hated Vicky correct?"
"but when you left, I wasn't really going down the right path. Vicky and I became friends. At the moment, I thought she was the only one that understood me because she was the only one that told me the truth."
"the truth?!" she blows out. Her face turns pink-ish.
"wait, let me finish. So we became friends. Then we had a talk. She told me she felt guilty for something and she spilled all the truth. She said she was jealous of us and didn't want us together. She was happy she accomplished what she intended but when she realized we were miserable, she was horrified at what she had done. So she came to me and told me sorry. It was too much for me to take. And I was pissed. I screamed at her and told her how much I hated her for taking... The love of my life from me.." Edith's face softens.
"I realized that was wrong for me to do. So I went to look for her and told her sorry and.. We made up. And now, we're roommates living in New York." I smile but Edith still has that cold stare.
"and Edith, I just want to say I'm really sorry. I know it was wrong and childish for me to do that. I'm very sorry and I hope you can forgive me. I've learned from my mistakes and I know I'll never do that again. I realized I didn't like Gerard and he was so much better off with you. I regret what I did. So now I know better and I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Vicky says after me. Edith looks back and forth at us but still, with that non-loving cold expression in her face. She looks like she's about to explode.
"I dont know what to say. Do you guys not realize it has been 7 years? Almost 8? I don't need an apology anymore. But since you seem like you mean it and hopefully karma has fucked your ass, I forgive you. But that doesn't mean I want to be friends. You fucked me over. We'll see what happens later on in life."
"I guess I deserve that but I thank you, for accepting my apology. I'll leave you two alone now." she sheds a tear and walks out of the apartment. I feel bad for her. This must have been like a pile of bricks and another tear for her heart. She doesn't like remembering the past.
"that was a little harsh Edith."
"look at me Gerard, does it look like I care?"
"I'm just saying. You're not the only one that suffers okay?" she cocked an eyebrow and looked down at the ground. There was silence again.
"so... How was Canada?" I ask.
She looks at me for a second, "it was a lot of fun." she finally smiles, a fake smile.
"glad to here."
"umm, how has Jersey been? And New York?"
"fine I guess. Problems everywhere though."
"it's okay. Want something to drink?"
"sure." I walk to the kitchen.
"still like Tea?" she looks at me in disbelieve.
"yeah.." I hand her a cup of tea and a cup of coffee for me.
"I can't believe you remembered.." she says drinking it.
"well of course I will. We were together for so long. I cherished our good memories." I drink my coffee happily.
"right.. So you're 24 now?"
"yes and you're birthday just passed. You're 23 correct?
"yeah, that's right.."
"well, happy late birthday. So tell me how have you been these past 7 years?"
"thank you. Good I guess. You?" she answers my questions politely but she still seems distant.
"fine. You know.."I hesitate and smile, looking at the ground,"I missed you." I look up at her and see her eyes widen. I grin and I am able to get a grin out of her beautiful face.
"I.. Missed you too." she nods with a little laugh and I join.
Time slips out of our hands and we have spent hours just talking like we use too. Well, sort of. She's comfortable talking with me now and I am with her. It's like we're long lost friends and nothing bad ever happened between us.
"so about My Chem, how has that been?" she asks.
"it's been great. It took me out of a tough time in my life and I don't regret ever making this band. I heard you were at one of our gigs.."
"yeah I was. You guys are amazing. You have an amazing voice by the way."
"thanks. I think I saw you at our gig." she smiles while sipping her second cup of tea.
"yeah well, I was in the front row of the crowd head banging you know. We made eye contact."
"oh right.. So that was you."
"yeah it was me." she giggles.
"um by any chance, were you talking to Geoff in a taxi?"
"uhh, I was.."
"so that was you too.. Do you remember me? I was the one pulling your chin to see you."
"I remember that, you left a scratch on my chin."
"oops, sorry about that. Well, I- I was shocked to see you. Well, I wasn't sure if it was you because I was drunk."
"right, I smelled the alcohol in your breath."
"see?" I nod and drink some more coffee.
"look Gerard, I have to go. It's getting late."
"alright, I'll walk you to the door." we set our mugs down and walk over to the door. Before she steps out, she turns around to face me.
"I'm glad we had this talk. It helped me a lot..I dont know about you."
"it helped me too. It was nice seeing you again."
"it was nice seeing you too. I'm glad to be friends." she nods and smiles. But I don't want to be friends.She opens the door and is about to step out when I close it with my right hand. She stays there holding the knob. I look at the back of her head. Her hair is so short now. Compared to when she was 16. She's beautiful either way. She turns around with watery eyes and looks to at me.
"listen, before you go I need to confront you on something."
"what is it?"
I laugh, "it's ridiculous but, Geoff told me you asked for me." she gulps, "really?"
"yeah. It's funny because he said you thought I was hot. Pfft." I role my eyes.
"and he also said you wanted to have a threesome with me and him and it shocked me because, last time I checked, you're no slut." we both laugh.
"you're right. I'm not. And I won't lie to you, I did say that." He chuckled again and licked his lips. He had me cornered up with his right hand above my head leaning on the wall. He shifted his weight on his feet.
"why'd you say it?" he licked his lips again and looked down on me. I can't help but think he looks so sexy. A few strands of black hair keep coming to his face and he keeps trying to put them aside. They still make their way back to his face.
"I dont know, I was a little buzzed."
"last time I checked you didnt drink Edith.."
"last time I checked you didn't either."
"touché Eddie." he chuckles, "you have changed a lot Eddie.."
"in what way?"
"well, excuse my words, but.. You're amazingly hot."
"and not just that, you've grown up to be a beautiful women. I can't explain how beautiful you look. Form outside and in. You're not pretty girl anymore, you're beautiful girl."
I laugh, "that's so cheesy! You don't look bad yourself Gerard. I mean, a little belly role here and there but.. Who cares? You're hair is longer and you have grown to be a man..." I arch my back and place my hands behind me. I don't think I can hold back any longer...
"do you want to remember what Geoff said?" I don't answer, "he said you wanted to come to my house.. Lock the door..." he locks the house door and leans closer to me. Without thinking, I arch my back more and place a hand on his hip.
"and undress you.." he closes the space between us kissing me lustfully and enters my mouth without asking. I can't take it anymore. I forget about everything in life and go for it. I love Geard. I let myself go and grab his belt buckle pulling myself closer to him. He reaches under my bare legs and picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck tugging his hair. I let go to catch my breath and he licks my neck making me moan.
"oh Gee.." He pushes a door and throws me on a bed. He takes my shirt off rapidly and stops for a second.
"another tattoo?" I nod not able to say a word. He lowers down and kisses my tattoo and grips my hips with his manly hands. I pant harder as he makes his way under my belly button. He unbuttons my shorts and throws them somewhere in the room and comes back up to kiss me.
"I've been wanting you so badly." he whispers in such a sexy way that makes me want him more.
"I want you.. Gee." I whisper.
"I like when you say my name." he says and grabs my breast. He takes my bra off and massages
my breast as he settles down between my legs. I can feel his situation--as I use to call it--through his pants. He kisses my breast and licks down my belly taking my panties off. He touches my swollen clit which makes me moan louder and makes his way back up to kiss me. I take his shirt off and unbuckle his belt. I push him onto the bed and slip his pants and briefs off. His "situation" is rock hard. I take it in my hands and stroke it gently as he calls my name. I climb on him and sit on top of his hard-on. I gasp taking in his size.
"Edith, I don't have a condom on."
He pants. "I'm on the pill." I am able to say and I rock back and forth gently throwing my head back as he grabs my tits. He sits up and starts licking around my nipple and then takes my left breast in his mouth. I rock back and forth harder on him and he wraps his arms around me grabbing my ass.
"Edith... Ahh, Eddie." he repeats. I kiss him and entangle my fingers in his hair. He picks me up and switches spots with me. He grabs my legs and puts them above me and enters me again, going in deeper by the second. I start moaning as well as him. I grip his ass making him go deeper in me. He goes faster and harder and I can feel my insides squeeze him reaching my climax. He's reached his climax. He goes faster and deeper. I'm panting harder and moan louder as he does one last moan and his liquids enter me satisfying me. He starts to go slower and now, he lowers my legs and lays on me kissing me all over.
"you're wild." I say to him. He doesn't reply but shuts me up by kissing me lustfully. He gets off me and lays next to me. I hug him tightly against me and wrap a leg over him.
"It's been so long." I say.
"it has. I missed that."
"me too." he hugs me closer to him. "I love you" he says and kisses my head.
"I love you too. With all my heart." he chuckles.
"I thought I'd never hear those words again." I look up at him and kiss him romantically before resting on his chest and falling asleep in his arms.