Axl's fingers ran though the long, dark soft hair that he liked to play with it when Slash was asleep....
Axl screwed his eyes shut as the plea almost cut through him. He ignored the man beside him and kept on pretending to stay asleep. He couldn't look at him, it was almost to much to bear and he hated it. He was getting attached to him and sometimes, without knowing it, he would stroke Slash's hair.
He would allow Slash to cuddle him when he was about to fall asleep, he wouldn't shove him away and hit him before he would storm out, not feeling any remorse when he heard Slash sobbing through the wall.
Now, he was staying overnight and allowing the sweet, loving words to be said out loud without any protest from Axl. But he would never reply, he would just shut his eyes and lose himself in Slash.
He didn't want to be with him though. Not like this, not now. They were too much in the media, they could lose to much. But even if they weren't, Slash and him would never work out.
Axl's anger was rare now, but Axl noticed that Slash had learnt how to not set it off. He knew the signs of Axl's anger setting off, he knew when to leave a subject alone and not to push him. But Axl still pushed him away when he was getting too close. He would still order Slash not to tell him the three little words that the guitarist had to bite his tongue to not say.
“Axl?”Slash whispered from beside him. He knew that Axl wasn't asleep because he wasn't making that almost silent, purring/snoring sound he made when he was sleeping.
“Yeah?” Axl opened his eyes and looked around the almost dark room, noticing that he had never actually taken the time to see what Slash's room looked like. There was posters of his favourite bands and there were some clothes thrown over a chair. His guitar was the only object that was neatly and safely stacked away against his wardrobe.
There were pictures pinned to the wall. Some of the early days of the band and some of Slash and his parents. Some of when he was young and some of when he went to visit sometimes. But there was a framed picture on his wall of Slash and his grandmother when he was a child, smiling up at her like she was an angel. She had him on her knee, smiling at the camera.
Slash was very close to his grandmother, they were closer than Slash and his own parents. He would do anything for his grandmother, she told him off when he needed it. Even as an adult he would get a phone call from her and she would tell him to be careful.
On the other side of the room there were pictures of the band. Izzy and Slash at their local café, arms over each others shoulders and making a funny face as Duff took their picture. Another picture of Duff and Slash buying some new guitars after Appetite made some money, Slash had finally got the guitar he wanted.
Then there was a photo of Slash and Axl, they were in a car, on the way to their next concert. Slash's arm was around the redheads shoulders as his free hand took a drag from his cigarette. Axl's head was resting on Slash's shoulder, leaning onto him like he was a pillow. Axl was sleeping, a small content smile on his face.
“What is this?” Slash asked from beside him, snapping Axl out from his thoughts. Axl didn't know how to answer him, he didn't know the answer either. He didn't want to be with Slash, but he didn't want to be without him either. Axl didn't want anyone finding out about what they were doing, he didn't want to be in a relationship. But he didn't want anyone else to have Slash either, he couldn't bear that.
What he and Slash were doing made him sick. It made him sick that he enjoyed it, it made him sick that he couldn't be without it. Slash made him feel something that he couldn't describe, but he felt free. But in public, he didn't want to be near Slash, he couldn't.
“I don't know, Slash. I can't give you an answer.”
He heard Slash sigh and he bit his lip,”Do you care about me at all,Axl?Do you feel anything for me?” Axl felt the bed move and from what he could tell, Slash was on his side,looking at him. He could almost feel it.
“I don't love you. I don't want to be in a relationship with you.” Axl turned and looked at him and saw that Slash had tears in his eyes. Axl moved closer and used his thumb to brush away the tear that escaped him. His fingers caressed the smooth skin of the guitarist's face, tracing the edge of his jaw. He cupped his chin and his thumb ran over his bottom lip.
Slash looked at him and Axl saw the stray of hope in his eyes after the soft touch that he just gave him. Axl leaned forward and pressed their lips together, giving the most tender kiss he had ever given him. Slash returned the kiss with as much love and devotion he felt for the singer.
Axl's fingers ran though the long, dark soft hair that he liked to play with it when Slash was asleep. The hair that he liked to hide himself in, that made him escape the life that he was living, the only place that made him feel safe.
Axl pulled away, almost laughing when Slash whined in protest. Slash looked at him, knowing that Axl was continuing. “I don't love you. I don't want to be in a relationship with you,” He repeated. Slash opened his mouth say something but Axl hushed him,” but I don't want anyone else to go near you. I don't want to be without you and yes, I do care about you.”
Slash's eyes lightened up again and Axl almost smiled inside. Slash pulled him into an embrace, and Axl buried his face in his hair again, breathing in his scent. Slash kissed his cheek and pulled him down to lay next him.
”That's enough for now.” Slash whispered to Axl as the redhead fell asleep.