Ray has to do everything in his power to protect Gerard.
I watch until Gerard is out of view and feel the overwhelming need to protect him from now on. I hate the thought of what his father has done to him, it’s so wrong. It all makes sense to me now though, his multiple suicide attempts, when he was rushed to the hospital because he had hit a vein while cutting, all of those missed school days because of an overdose or hangover.
I walk back upstairs and lay on my bed, tears fell from my eyes as I look at the picture of him and I on my phone. I love him more than just a friend, and the thought of losing him is too much for me. I will protect him as much as I can, to show him that someone does care about him.
I throw my phone onto the floor and cry.
The next day at school I walk Gerard to all of his classes to make sure no one hurts him. At lunch I get a table far from everyone so we can eat in peace.
“Did you tell anyone?” Gerard asks.
“I promised I wouldn’t. I respect you enough not to tell anyone.” I take a bite into my sandwich.
I hear Gerard murmur a ‘thanks’ and then he continues to eat. We sit in silence for a good several minutes before trouble comes in the form of the three kids who brutalize Gerard.
“Hey emo how’s your wrists?” The leader of the gang, John, grabs Gerard roughly by the wrist and he cries out.
I jump up and without any hesitation I bring John to the ground with a blow to the stomach. I am on top of him, punching his face repeatedly. I can’t help myself as I pound on him. “Don’t you fucking touch him you prick!” I yell. I hear Gerard call my name but I am too angry to stop and I give the kid no mercy. When I regain control of myself and stand up I see that John is curled up on the floor crying. “Don’t you dare hurt him. He doesn’t need your shit or anyone else’s right now!” I scream.
“Raymond Toro, what do you have to say for yourself?” A voice from behind me asks bitterly.
I swallow hard and turn around, met with the face of Ms. Jenkins, the principal. She raises her eyebrow and taps her foot expectantly. I sigh. “I was defending my friend.” Is all I can bring myself to mutter.
“You are suspended. Ten days, Mr. Toro. I hope it was worth it.” Ms. Jenkins walks away before I can protest.
I sigh and turn to Gerard. “I’m sorry... I just wanted to-” Gerard cuts me off with a nod.
Fuck...now how am I supposed to protect him!? I think and punch the wall once more. They’re going to brutalize him even more now that I did this shit! I wipe my eyes and grab my guitar; I tune it and then strum out my anger. With the way my luck is going I’m not surprised when my guitar’s A string snaps. I end up throwing my guitar onto the floor and decide to go to sleep early.
My sleep is filled with nightmares of Gerard and his father. In the nightmare I am unable to protect him, I can just stand by and watch. The nightmare is horrific and I wake up sweaty and panting with tears rolling down my face. “Gerard I have to protect you...” I shake and reach for my cell phone. It’s two thirty in the morning. I’m sure that I won’t be able to get much sleep and I call Gerard without even thinking about it.
“Hello?” It’s not Gerard’s voice that answers his cell phone, it’s his father’s.
“Oh um, hi...” I choke out.
“Why are you calling this late? Gerard is asleep.” Donald is breathing heavily, and I hear something in the background, but I can’t make out what it is.
“I uh...I had a bad dream...and I just wanted to tell Gerard about it...it helps for me to talk about it...” I mentally kick myself for saying that.
“Well he’s sleeping.” The phone muffles and I hear Donald say something. “I have to go.” He says a moment later.
“Um...is everything okay?” I ask and then hear what sounds like a cry. Donald hangs up.
That fucking bastard... I think to myself.
My father is just finishing with me when my cell phone goes off. I wish I had turned it on silent because I get a slap in the face for it. He answers the call. “Hello?” He asks in an irritated tone. There is a short silence and then, “Why are you calling this late? Gerard is asleep.”
I whimper. “If that’s Ray let me talk to him...please...”
My father gives me a cold glare and continues with the call. “Well he’s sleeping.” Father puts his hand over the phone and mutters, “Go take a shower, filthy little shit.” He goes back to the call and I try to get off of the bed but it hurts too much. “I have to go.” Father says and I can’t help but cry out in pain. He throws the phone onto the floor after hanging up and grabs me. “Shut up you bitch.” He slaps me again and I start to cry.
“Please stop daddy...” I whimper.
“Take a fucking shower and get to fucking bed, slut.” He pushes me onto the floor and storms out of the room. I force myself to stand and make my way slowly to the shower, every inch of my body hurts and my cheek is still stinging from the slap.
The hot shower helps with the pain but it doesn’t make it go away, nothing will. After I wash myself I sit at the bottom of the shower and take my razor from the shelf. I cut myself and then rinse off again. I take the towel from the rack, dry myself, and then get into fresh pajamas.
I make my way back to my bedroom and take the sheets off of my bed. I replace them with clean ones and lay down. Curling into my sheets I cry myself to sleep.