The only person I want right now is Gerard, I want him to hold me close and make me feel better.
I've never seen Eric look so scared and vulnerable before…he looks like his heart is broken, No, wait scratch that, he looks like his whole body is broken and falling apart, Eric Broz is breaking down. The sight before me just pulls at my heart strings and all I want to do is wrap my arms around him in a tight embrace to make him feel better and attempt to hold all the pieces of him together.
Then he’ll probably try to kill you again.
Probably and I’m still in too much pain to move anyway.
Wait was he sobbing… because of me?
“Holy fuck I thought I killed you” Eric’s shaken voice reaches my ears as he gently holds my tenderly sore shoulders, his grip is soft and gentle almost like he is trying to say ‘sorry’ just by the simple touch. I respond by just watching him unsure of what to do.
“I’m so sorry…I never…” He cries and sniffs, then gives up and drops his head back onto my chest. He appears to be so broken and tied and it’s not because of the beating I just gave him…before he nearly killed me.
“My life is so fucked up.” he mumbles into the fabric of my hoodie (Gerard’s hoodie), more to himself than me. His breath seeps through the material and I can feel the warmth on my skin. Then suddenly his mood snaps as he realizes what he just said. Eric sits up sharply and moves his hands off me like he’d just been burned. He looks at me through cold heartless eyes with a disgusted twisted expression dominating his bruised, red and tear stained face. His cold glare hurts but not physically, curiosity is gnawing away at me as I wonder about Eric.
What did he mean by his ‘life is so fucked up’?
I feel like I should say something, I have no idea what…but something. I try to speak his name but my throat puts an end to that idea. The sound that escapes my lips turns out more of a painful corky whisper than my normal voice. I’m so quiet I wasn’t even sure I said anything. Eric must have heard something tho because his expression softens a fraction and he looks away from my eyes in possible self-shame. “I’m sorry.” He states clearly in a ticked off tone.
What the fuck? Why is he ticked off? I’m the one he nearly fuckin’ killed!
I want to have a rant but I would just end up in more pain with little result. I death stare Eric’s face waiting for him to look back at me. I can tell that he knows I’m looking at him because his shifts uncomfortably and I can read his facial expression like an open book. Eventually he turns sharply to meet my eyes.
“What!” he exclaims.
“Get off me, dick-head.” I painfully whisper in a very dry raspy voice.
Fuck…it feels like I’ve swallowed sandpaper.
Eric widens his eyes in surprise like he didn't realize he was still straddling me in the middle of the school corridor. Quickly he jumps to his feet and stands over the top of me. Now that his weight is off me I can breathe a little easier. I draw in a painfully deep breath and cough violently.
OUCH! Fucking OUCH! Oh my god! So much pain. Oh shit can’t breathe.
While having my excruciating coughing fit I somehow roll onto my side and run into Eric’s leg. I honestly don’t give a fuck about him at the moment, my chest, lungs throat, back, shoulders and head are throbbing in thick heated agonizing pain.
I need help! Something is so not right.
“Frank?” I can hear the pure concern in Eric’s voice as he kneels beside me on the cold ground and rubs my back in some attempt to settle the agonizing coughs that abrupt from my chest, I feel like with each cough my insides are been shredded and torn apart, every muscle in my body feels like they’re about to explode, my head is stuffed and pulsing with excruciating heat and pain and everything is constricting and the only thing I can do is thrash about violently, writhing on the ground coughing in traumatizing pain.
“Frank! Fuck Frank!” I can tell that Eric is starting to panic slightly and that’s just making me panic. He grips my shoulders and pulls me up to a sitting position. He takes a deep breath in and speaks again, this time calmer.
“Ok, Frank you need to calm down. Don’t panic that will just make things worse.”
WELL THANK YOU FUCKING CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
I try to calm down but you know how it is when you think you’re going to die and everything, it’s just a little difficult! I continue to violently cough uncontrollably. Eric places an open palm hand on the center of my chest and holds my back with the other hand.
“You need to sit up straight so then you can create a clear path for your airways.” He informs me in a caring-like tone as he gently pushes me to sit up straight. He rests my back on the metal lockers and lifts my head up gently by the chin. He calmly tells me to try and take deep breaths in but I don’t want to because I know it’s going to kill like a bitch. I squeeze my eyes shout tight trying to ignore the intense pain devouring my teenage body.
I convulse with every burning cough. I hold the back of my hand in front of my mouth, because that’s what you’re meant to do when you cough. I can feel my heated breath cover my hand. I continue to painfully cough up my lungs when all of a sudden Eric gently grabs my face just under my jaw. As soon as I feel his hands touch me I snap open my eyes, partly out of curiosity and partly out of fear.
What the fuck is he doing?
He tenderly brushes my fringe out of my face and eyes like a caring concerned mother tending to her child. He looks deeply into my eyes and I stare back, his eyes are back to the pain and sorrow filled expression again that swirl with emotion and concern.
God he looks so sad.
I can feel his thumbs move softly and slowly in small circles on my cheeks, his touch is so light it’s like feathers, strangely this motion has a very calming effect and I notice that the coughing fit is slowly subsiding.
The only person I want right now is Gerard, I want him to hold me close and make me feel better. Fuck I’m just so tiered and over today.
My whole body is aching and I have no energy left, I just wanna go home and sleep. I don’t even notice that I have closed my eyes. I continue to take deep steady breaths in with only the occasional small cough. I can taste blood in my mouth.
That can’t be a good sign.
It explains why it feels like your throat is torn up…it probably is
I can sense Eric leaning in closer while still holding my jaw but don’t actually register the movement. I feel him resting his forehead on mine, his warm breath washes over my parted lips.
“I sorry Frank.” He whispers quietly with sincerity dripping off every word. My breathing remains steady and I can feel the drowsiness concur my body.
Great! I’m falling asleep at school in the corridor after nearly dying twice in the less than 10 minutes.
*Fuck I think It’s not only ‘cut-off Frank day’ but also ‘try to kill Frank day’.
“Frank where’s your phone?” I can just hear Eric’s voice and I fuse my eye brows together in confusion as to why he wants my phone.
[/What? It’s not enough to nearly kill me? He has to rob me too?
“I’ll text Gerard or one of your fucked up friends to come get you or something.” Eric explains obviously assuming that’s why I’m frowning in confusion. I Motion to my right pocket in my skinny black jeans.
God I just wanna sleep.
While thinking that thought I slowly feel myself fall to the side, luckily Eric notices and stops me from crashing into the ground.
“Hey, try to stay awake please.” Eric asks as I feel him take my phone out of my pocket. My head feels like it is spinning and I’m starting to feel disorientated. My mind fills with thoughts of Gerard, it all feels so unreal.
Gerard is my boyfriend. He kissed me, I kissed him…we both kissed each other.
I know that a sleepy smile is starting to play on my lips as I see images of Gerard in my mind and I can almost feel his hands holding my close. I can almost smell the scent of coffee and cigarettes of Gee’s breath as the warm air rushes over my lips. I swear I can feel Gerard kiss my forehead tenderly.
“Gerard…” I accidently let his name slip from my lips in a silent sleepy whisper.
For a while the world is peaceful and silent apart from the very soft singing of small carefree birds from outside. My body feels numb and also aches at the same time. My breathing has returned to normal but my lungs and throat are engulfed in acid like pain. I’m slowly drifting off into a very dark deep sleep. I allow my mind to be occupied by thoughts of Gerard.
I love him…I know I do, no one has ever made me feel the way he does.
“Frankie?” my name bounces of the walls and lockers as it echoes down the corridor and dances in the thick air surrounding me.
Gerard has such beautiful eyes, amazingly soft skin.
“Frankie, baby!” the sound lingers just outside my ears.
He also has an amazingly gorgeous voice, the kind of vice that I could just listen to all day. I love his New Jersey ascent which is very think on some days and hardly noticeable on others.
“Frankie.” My name is said with a voice full of emotion.
He’s so nice, kind and caring.
I can feel my shoulders been softly touched but it doesn’t register to my brain.
He’s brave and strong…I’m so lucky he’s mine.
I smile like a dick-head as I slowly wake up and languorously open my eyes to be met with a stunning pair of hazel eyes looking straight back at me…Gerard.
He looks scared as he softly brushes strands of my fringe out of my face and looks over my injuries. I don’t like seeing him scared. I wanna see his smile and feel his lips on mine.
“Frankie, baby. Tell me who the fucker was that messed with my beautiful Frankie. It was Eric wasn't it? That homophobic fucker.” Gerard starts to ramble on about how he is going to get his sweet revenge on Eric for touching me.
I’m only paying half attention to the actual word as I’m absorbed by the strong passion and emotion that is swirling and dancing in his eyes. Effortlessly I raise my hands up to cradle his face and instantly Gerard stops his talking and looks at me with big puppy-dog eye while covers my hands with his own.
“Gee...” I start to speak in a dry raspy whisper. I know exactly what I want to say and brace myself for the pain my voice is going to make in my throat.
“What is it Frankie?” Gerard asks with loving concern.
“I Love you.” I simply tell him and connect out lips together right there in our school hallway.
A/N Do you like? how was it? let me know what you thought of it and also let me know if you pick up on any Errors so then i can fix them..XOXO.