Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > We Are Falling

14- Holes In Condoms

by XxPerfectTomorrowxX 1 review

Brendon and Hayley talk about the future, and realize just how different their future dreams are.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Romance - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2012-10-02 - Updated: 2012-10-02 - 1865 words - Complete

0Unrated
Hayley was now in bed beside Brendon. She breathed out, “You sure do make a good point.” She finally said, laughing a little.

Brendon grinned, “I’ve been celibate during our time apart.”

“You act like it’s been forever since we last slept together.” Hayley rolled her eyes.

“It felt like forever.” Brendon replied, stretching out. “And you’ve forever ruined cherry condoms for me.”

“So now you just go for bland?” Hayley picked another of the condoms up, “Bland and… ribbed?”

Brendon shrugged and pulled Hayley closer to him, causing her to drop the condom to the floor. “And if you ever leave me again you’ll ruin all condoms for me.”

Hayley laughed, “So I’ll be the reason that pregnancy suddenly spikes up? Thanks for the heads up on that one.”

Brendon chuckled, “Guess you’ll have to stay because I don’t see myself being a very great father.”

“You’ll do just fine.” Hayley answered, “Just call each child at least once a day…” She teased.

Brendon snorted and rolled his eyes, “So funny. I’m totally not like that.”

“I know.” Hayley was still laughing though. “But you are a sex symbol of sorts. You and your entire band. Any of you could bed any woman, any night.”

“So you’re saying you’d sleep with any of my band mates on any night?”

Hayley rolled her eyes, “I rephrase my statement… No, you know what? I just completely take it back… you twister of words!”

Brendon laughed, “It’s probably better you take the statement back. I could do a lot with that one.”

They each relaxed in the semi-comfortable bed. “I think you’d like the bed in my apartment.” Brendon finally commented.

Hayley twisted around, pulling out of Brendon’s arms. Eventually she was facing him in bed. His brown eyes gazed in to hers questioningly, “Is something wrong?”

“We’ve seen a lot of beds together.” Hayley answered, “But… we haven’t really seen anything else… together…” She let her statement trail off.

Brendon nodded knowingly, “You mean more to me than sex.”

Hayley just stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

Eventually he did. “It’s just that things are going to be complicated. You still have to finish school, and what if your parents read about us together in some magazine that twists things? They could make things hell for us.”

Hayley froze at the mention of her parents. She opened her mouth but Brendon cut her off, “You’re right though. We should do things outside of a bedroom together-“

“No.” Hayley shook her head, “I get it-“

Brendon cut her off in return, “No, you don’t get it-“

“I do-“ They both started talking at the same time and eventually they both just gave up and stared at each other.

Brendon sighed, “This is something I’m not going to win.”

“It’s not a competition.” Hayley replied.

“It is.” Brendon answered. “It’s always a competition.”

“What’s the prize?”

“I don’t know.” Brendon shook his head, “Marriage, maybe…”

Hayley’s eyes widened, “That’s not even close to being on the table yet.”

“But eventually it will be, right?”

“I don’t know…”

“I eventually want to get married Hayley.” Brendon sighed again, “And I want-“

“Three kids, I know. We’ve talked about our future dreams before… and I remember everything you’ve ever said to me.” Hayley turned so that she was staring up at the ceiling.

Brendon sounded troubled, “Now that I think about it… you never talked about future dreams in the world of romance. There was never any talk of marriage, or kids… or even pets.”

“I guess I just never thought about the future holding more than a career for me.” Hayley answered.

“The future could surprise us both.” Brendon replied.

Hayley nodded before speaking, “It could.”

“Things like that start mattering Hayley. You start wanting things that you’d never think about in high school, and you realize how important marriage is when you see all of your friends married… and then when they are expecting- or when you see them with their kids… You quickly realize just how much you’re missing out on.”

“That’s where you’re at Brendon.” Hayley turned to look at him again, finding that his eyes never left her, “That’s not where I’m at.”

“I know-“

“You’re going to have to be the one to decide if that’s going to be a problem.” Hayley cut him off, giving him something to think about. “Because I’m not going to be ready just because you’re ready. There is more to having a family than being financially ready- and that’s really the only type of ready that you are.”

Brendon found truth in the statement.

But he didn’t want to admit it.





**



Brendon woke up first. He had trouble sleeping with the cast, and all of the thoughts that refused to leave his mind. He thought of the age difference between him and Hayley. It never seemed to matter before, or rather… he never even thought about it before. Would it matter? They had different ideas of the future, which was something he couldn’t deny.

He found a familiar contact in his cell phone and pressed talk, waiting for his old girlfriend to pick up the phone. “Brendon, what’s up?” She had such a warm voice. He remembered liking that about her. It was a big reason as to why they were still friends. She was such a warm, open person.

“Hey Sarah.” Brendon greeted her first, not wanting to lay all his problems out instantly. “How’s Jason?”

“He’s enjoying fatherhood.” Sarah said, with a short giggle. “Belle is walking now. It’s adorable. I emailed you a video last week.”

“Oh really? I’ll be sure to check it out.” Brendon said, with his own grin. “I’m glad you bring up Belle… I’m kind of having thoughts of children.” That sounded weird, even to him.

Sarah gasped, “You got a girl pregnant? Oh my god, who Brendon?”

“No, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s a plan…” It was a lie, but only kind of. Hayley was a planned part of his future, but so was eventually being a father.

“Aw! I didn’t even know you were in a committed relationship.” Sarah gushed. “Do I know the lucky lady?”

“You don’t, but she’s really wonderful.” Brendon admitted. “Her name is Hayley and… Well, she doesn’t want kids but I do.” There, he’d admitted it.

Sarah sighed audibly, “Oh Bren, you silly, silly boy. You realize that most people who don’t want kids end up wanting kids, right?”

“I kind of thought that and we aren’t anywhere near ready but what if like ten years from now she still doesn’t want a kid?”

“Then ten years from now the two of you can discuss it.” Sarah reasoned. “And you’ll either promptly get her pregnant, or realize that being with her is more important to you.”

“Or I’ll poke holes in all my condoms.” Brendon darkly teased.

Sarah laughed, but at that very instant he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and knew that Hayley had heard his ‘joke’ as well.

“Uh, Sarah. I have to go. Talk to you later? I’ll watch the video of Belle this week when I get the chance.” Brendon quickly ended the call. Sarah was still laughing as she said her goodbye.

“Morning.” Brendon awkwardly greeted Hayley.

“Morning.” Hayley responded, as she ran her fingers through her hair. “So, should I be abstaining from sex with you from here on out?” She was teasing him, of course.

Brendon blushed a deep red as he awkwardly searched for the correct words, “It was just a joke.”

Hayley laughed, “I kind of figured that much. You don’t really seem like the type to force pregnancy on a woman. Especially since I’d leave you if that ever happened.”

Brendon awkwardly laughed.

“I’m not joking.” Hayley whispered. “I appreciate a joke as much as the next girl but your humor is a bit off.”

Brendon nodded, “Want a donut?”

Hayley gazed at Brendon, “That doesn’t hurt your feelings, right?”

“What?” Brendon asked. “The threat of you leaving? No, that’s totally just normal breakfast talk.”

Hayley sighed. “We suck at arguing.”

Brendon nodded, “I agree. What if ten years from now I decided to poke holes in all of our condoms, would you still leave me?”

Hayley bit her lip. “Why don’t you ask me that question in ten years?”

“I could do that.” Brendon agreed.

Hayley cracked a smile, “As for now, could you come back to bed? It’s cold without you.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Brendon answered.





**



“Are you sure you have to leave?” Brendon asked.

“I’m sure.” Hayley answered, “You have to leave too, remember? You have stuff to do at home. Vacations don’t last forever love.”

Brendon groaned, “It wasn’t a vacation. I was here on business. It’s not my fault I just happened to fall in love on the job.”

“It’s better than falling asleep on the job.” Hayley teased.

Brendon chuckled, “Well, I did that too. It was part of the whole love thing.”

“You should get different condoms.” Hayley commented, “I don’t like these ones, or the cherry ones.”

“We could go bareback.” Brendon joked.

“You’d like that too much.” Hayley replied.

“You’re right. I would.” Brendon smiled as he gazed at Hayley. “Will I see you before I leave?”

“I hope so.” Hayley leaned up and kissed Brendon softly. “We can figure it out tonight, after you set up your flight back home.”

“Call me as soon as you get home.” Brendon said, glancing behind them at her truck. “I don’t trust that thing.”

“After the great memories it gave us?” Hayley acted offended on behalf of her truck.

Brendon rolled his eyes, “The memories would’ve been greater if it had been in a …” He shook his head and quickly corrected himself, “I love that truck.”

Hayley just laughed as she opened her car door. “I’ll talk to you later. Bye Brendon.”

Brendon did a small wave but didn’t trust his voice enough to use it. Saying goodbye to Hayley wasn’t something he ever wanted to do again.





Once Brendon made it back to his hotel room he realized he’d had Ryan deleted Hayley’s contact information. He felt panic grip him, and he was nearing a mental breakdown when his phone vibrated.

-I didn’t want to say it in front of you but I’ll miss you when you leave.-

Brendon quickly saved Hayley’s number as happiness spread through his body. Once her number was saved he texted her back. -Don’t text and drive!- Once that was sent he texted her again, -I’ll miss you more.-
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