Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Story
Before the Lobotomy
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Walking to school became more of a daily petty task of trying to get to hell on earth. It became a time to try to stay awake. Walking foward, head bent down, hood up trying to seem like a fly on a wall, no importance whatsoever. Every step is a pang of hurt going straight to my head reminded me of the emptyness insdie, stomach feeling like one great swollen puff that if you touch it in anyway it will tie itself in more knots til the point you feel like you have a seisure. My gashes across my ribs and hips lightly touch and get stuck to my shirt as i walk forward, the gooey blood trying to find something to stop the bleeding and to clot up. My wrists already dried and stuck themselves permanently to my sweatshirt sleeves, that will be fun to rip off later. The only energy i give myself is a puff of niccotine, an adrenaline rush through my skinny veins, that gives my the energy to move those next few steps before the world goes dizzy again.
As i walk i remember what it used to be like to enjoy the smell of autumn as it hits your face with the breeze. The cool air used to be refreshing on your face and body compared to the humidity of the past summer. I absolutely love Halloween so during October im enthralled with the idea of decorating my house with the decorations ive gathered over the years. Making any thing that will make my fantasys come true or make my favorite horror movies come alive.Now as i walk along the pavement of this crappy sidewalk filled with cracks and soaking wet leaves that are frozen from the chilly morning air, my mind focuses on not passing out on the cold grass or maybe luckily on the cold stone beneath my feet. I take a glance upward through my hair and see someone in their driveway getting warm in their car, on their way to work i guess. They glance at me and i see the shock and fear in their eyes. She eyes my cigarette im trying to hide in my gloved hand, which is burning me but i can barely register it in my pain fogged brain. She ignores the fact that i look like 15 year old smoking a cigarette and just sadly looks away. I am only fifteen but being short... makes me look a hell lot younger. And wearing black head to toe probably freaked her out more than anything. Dont want to be cut by the depressed kid across the street now do we?
As i near the school the weight on my shoulders intensify greatly... and i think to myself. what can be worse than home. Honestly.
As i walk i remember what it used to be like to enjoy the smell of autumn as it hits your face with the breeze. The cool air used to be refreshing on your face and body compared to the humidity of the past summer. I absolutely love Halloween so during October im enthralled with the idea of decorating my house with the decorations ive gathered over the years. Making any thing that will make my fantasys come true or make my favorite horror movies come alive.Now as i walk along the pavement of this crappy sidewalk filled with cracks and soaking wet leaves that are frozen from the chilly morning air, my mind focuses on not passing out on the cold grass or maybe luckily on the cold stone beneath my feet. I take a glance upward through my hair and see someone in their driveway getting warm in their car, on their way to work i guess. They glance at me and i see the shock and fear in their eyes. She eyes my cigarette im trying to hide in my gloved hand, which is burning me but i can barely register it in my pain fogged brain. She ignores the fact that i look like 15 year old smoking a cigarette and just sadly looks away. I am only fifteen but being short... makes me look a hell lot younger. And wearing black head to toe probably freaked her out more than anything. Dont want to be cut by the depressed kid across the street now do we?
As i near the school the weight on my shoulders intensify greatly... and i think to myself. what can be worse than home. Honestly.
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