"Realise that you’re the ones who need to sort your act out. I’m not going to change. You need to realise that I’m your son and you shouldn’t judge me because of who I am."
Anyway, here's the story. Title taken this second from a new All Time Low song called (believe it or not) Let Me Be Me.
Chapter 20; Let Me Be Me
I’d never seen anyone who seemed so vulnerable, aside from Penina after her sister hung herself. But Frank... this was something totally weird. I’ve never really seen someone so terrified because of their parents. But he wasn’t scared of his actual parents, more of what they’d think. It was confusing.
However, he seemed a lot calmer now. He seemed more like the Frank I knew - asleep in the sunshine filtering through the leaves, a tiny smile on his face; I wondered what he was dreaming about. I sighed and brushed the lock of black hair that fell over his eyes back.
Hopefully his parents wouldn’t go too bonkers. I still couldn’t really believe how that they’d actually come straight to the school to find Frank - I wondered what they’d think. Would they be angry, or just disappointed? I knew how Frank handled things; anger he could cope with easily. Disappointment? That would be so much worse than anger.
“Gee?” I looked down, realizing Frank had woken and was staring at me with sleepy eyes.
“What’s the time?” he asked.
“We have fifteen minutes until break,” I said, continuing to brush the hair out of his face. “You okay now?”
“Yeah. Maybe I overreacted a bit...” He sighed and sat up, crease marks from my shirt showing on his face where he’d been lying on my chest.
“Perhaps,” I murmured. He looked at me and sighed, rubbing his face.
“I hope they’ll be okay with everything,” he said.
“I’m sure they’ll be okay, Frankie. It’s the initial shock that hurts people the most, isn’t it?”
“I guess so...” He sighed and drew his legs up to his chest.
“Hey, come here,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. He sighed and shuffled around, leaning into my chest again. “And maybe they’ll okay with it. Because you’re their son. They’ll still love you.”
“I didn’t... I never... I didn’t think about it that way,” he said.
“Then you should do,” I said, kissing his temple. For the first time since we’d arrived into school, I saw a smile on his face. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Yes, Frankie,” I said soothingly, stroking his cheek. He looked around at me.
“... thank you.”
“It’s okay,” I said, leaning down gently and pressing my lips softly to his. He brought his hand up around my neck and rested the other on my abdomen. I turned around in my spot, adjusting my arms so I was holding him closer to my chest, my eyes closed. Gently, I moved away to peck his nose and then returned to kissing him.
Everything was silent; I mean, I could hear leaves rustling, and in the distance I thought I could hear a car alarm go off. I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears, and I could feel Frank’s through his chest. I sighed in content, glad that we’d decided to skip out going back to class.
“Okay, you two can stop fucking now, we’re coming up,” announced a voice from the direction of our feet. I sighed, and I felt Frank do the same, breath whispering across my lips as he pulled away.
“Hi Valerie,” I mumbled, knowing exactly who it would be walking in. I looked away from Frank’s face and indeed saw the pink-haired girl standing next to Jenna, weird expressions on each of their faces. “Is everything okay?”
“That was the single most adorable oh my god I can’t... eeeeeepppp!” squealed Jenna, clapping her hands over her mouth. I blushed, sitting up.
“Honestly, that was better than walking here and finding you two fucking,” said Valerie, crouching down. I raised my eyebrow and instinctively wrapped my arm around Frank, him curling up into my chest.
“What are you talking about?”
“You two. I mean... really? It’s precious,” said Ria, appearing in the tree hut. “In such a way. I mean, it’s... like I said those days ago. You love each other.” My breath caught in my throat, and Frank froze in my arms. I looked at him.
Love? I care about him more than I’ve ever cared about anyone... do I love him?
Yes you do.
Love is a strong emotion, you know that.
Exactly. Come on, how else are you going to describe how you feel about Frank?
I couldn’t really answer that.
“Gerard!” I blinked and my focus returned, looking up in time to see every single person now sitting around me and ogling me like I’d sprouted another head. I glanced down again and saw Frank also looking at me, but with a tiny smile on his face. He looked so... vulnerable, lying there. And that was bizarre. This short, wild, crazy, beautiful boy, was lying in my arms because the one thing he was truly scared of was now a reality.
"Oh boy, he's got it bad."
Yeah. Yeah I do.
“So, hang on, what are we doing here? It’s lunchtime!” complained Anna, sitting next to me in the theatre later on that day. I shrugged.
“Something to do with more rehearsals.”
“We didn’t ask for this,” she grumbled.
“Yeah, we did, when we auditioned for the play.”
“Shut up.” I grinned at her. “Say, where’s Frankie-boy?”
“I don’t know,” I said, flushing red. “I guess he’s... getting lunch, maybe.”
“Oh, I see.”
We fell silent along with the rest of the room, considering only a few people had arrived so far. My class had been let out early, as well Anna’s, so there were only me and her there; yes Jenna was in my class, but you might remember she’s not doing the drama production.
“Nice to see you turned up, Gerard,” said a voice. I jumped and saw Miss James perching on the railing beside me. I blushed again and stared down at my feet. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah... I mean...”
“Hey, Gerard. I didn’t really need an extra rehearsal today, but I had a feeling you’d turn to class and this would ensure a lack of interruptions if Frank’s parents did decide to turn up now.”
“Oh... thanks, I guess,” I said, scratching the bag of my head. “But we’ve talked... and I guess we’ve... I think he’ll be okay.”
“I... yeah. Thanks.”
By the end of the day, I was in the midst of... how shall we put it... a complete mental breakdown. I was sitting in class fidgeting, shaking, and I felt so lightheaded I thought I would faint. My heart began to palpitate when I heard the bell ring at the end of the day.
“Hey, Frankie, it’ll be fine,” Gerard said, holding out his hand as we made our way through the kids eager to get out of the school. I looked at it for a minute and took his hand. I said nothing as we made our way out as I dug my fingernails into his hand, so tightly I thought he would start bleeding. We walked down the steps to the grounds outside, but I froze before we turned the corner.
“What if they’re there?” I asked. Gerard paused.
“They know I exist. You want to risk them seeing me?” I bit my lip and frowned. Gerard sighed and rested my forehead against mine. “If you’re that worried, I don’t mind.”
“I want you to stay with me, Gerard,” I whispered. “But... as my friend. I think if they saw you and me like this they might... not... well, I think they’re upset enough as it is.” He chuckled quietly.
“Okay,” he said, leaning down and kissing me. I clung on tightly for a few seconds, then we pulled apart. “Come on, then. Let’s get this over and done with.” We started walking side-by-side, but no longer touching each other. We were now getting some weird looks because from the people who’d become used to us... but I was glad I’d made Gerard walk away from me. My parents were standing at the gate.
“Oh shit,” I said, my eyes widening. “Oh shit oh shit oh shit....”
“Frankie,” said Gerard, nudging me gently with his shoulder. I looked at him, wanted to just curl up in his arms, but I knew I couldn’t. Not in front of mum and dad. “It’ll be okay, okay?”
“I know,” I said, tucking my hands in my pockets. Stay calm, Frank.
“Call me if you need to, okay?” he said gently, just as we were reaching my parents. I could feel their eyes on me. I looked at Gerard, smiled and nodded.
“I will.” We looked at each other for a moment.
“Well, see you later, Frankie,” he said, walking off. I felt a huge pang in my heart, him just leaving like that. I watched him go out the corner of my eyes, and he turned and waved. It did hurt without that goodbye hug. Or, more recently, a goodbye kiss. He couldn’t kiss you like that in front of your parents, you fool. Call him later.
“Hi mum. Hi dad,” I said. Mum smiled at me... but dad just looked at me. My heart sunk. You’re in deep shit.
“Hello sweetie. We tried to tell you we would pick you up today, but you didn’t answer your phone,” said mum.
“Yeah, sorry. My battery died,” I said, shrugging.
“Well, you coming then?” asked Dad sourly, opening the car door. I frowned.
“Sweetie, come on. There’s... something... your father thinks we need to discuss,” said Mum. I sighed.
“FRANKIE!” I jumped and turned around, seeing Valerie standing right next to me.
“Val! Don’t make me jump like that!” I said.
“Yeah yeah, whatever. But basically, tonight me and Ria are thinking that we’re gonna having a movie night, if you’re up for that?”
“I’m sorry missy, but Frank might be a bit preoccupied tonight,” said Dad, looking at Valerie. I rolled my eyes.
“I’ll see,” I said. Valerie was frowning, but she nodded anyway. She smiled at mum, sent a quick glare towards my dad when he was looking the other way, and hugged me goodbye.
“Hope it’s okay,” she whispered in my ear. “Maybe see you tonight?”
“Yeah... bye Val,” I said. She skipped off to join Ria and Ash, who were standing next to Pete and Mikey. They all waved over at me, and I waved back and got in the car. My parents were both silent as they climbed in and drove away from the school building, much to my terror. Actually, my fear had kind of subsided a little bit, it didn’t feel quite as acute as it had earlier.
Well, you are actually terrified. You can tell.
You talk all fancy when you’re scared.
And you start talking to yourself...
“So, Frank,” said my mum conversationally, breaking me out of my inner battle with myself. My heart stilled. “I think you know why we’re picking you up today.”
“Yes, mum,” I said.
“Is there something you’re going to tell us?” asked dad, behind the steering wheel.
“Not really, no.” I saw both my parents look at me in the rearview mirror. “I don’t actually want to talk, even if you do, so can we leave it to rest?”
“Frank, that’s enough of the attitude, you’re...” started my dad, but mum lay a hand on his arm and shook her head. But I felt my normal anger building up a bit, and wasn’t going to let it rest.
“I’m what, dad? There’s something wrong with me?!” I said, sitting straighter in my seat. “Something wrong? Come on, spit it out!”
“Franklin Anthony Iero, sit down and be quiet! We’ll discuss this at home!” shouted dad, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. I frowned and slumped back in my seat, scowling out of the window. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
From; Gee x Hoping the parents haven’t killed you yet x. I grinned to myself.
Not yet. Dad’s giving me the death look xofrnk.
“Put your phone away, Frank,” said Dad through gritted teeth.
“Because we’re home. Go to the living room and wait there for me and your mother.” I rolled my eyes, swung my legs out the car and strode towards the front door. Buzzzzzz.
From; Gee x Oh dear, hope you’re okay :P. x
Death is imminent. I’ll call you if I live xofrnk.
From; Gee x Keeping my fingers crossed! x
I’ll need all the luck I can get ;P xofrnk.
From; Gee x Sending luck your way :3 x
“So, Frankie,” said mum gently, walking into the front room. I looked up from where I was gazing down, grinning, at my phone. My smile fell right off my face and I replaced it with a scowl. Mum wasn’t smiling, but she looked sad rather than angry. I don’t know what’s worse.
“Look, I’m not going to beat about the bush...”
“You’ve done a good job of doing that so far,” I said. Dad growled and pointed his finger at me from the doorway.
“You’re in enough trouble as it is, mister, don’t make it worse with your attitude,” he said. I laughed and stood up, making to move towards Dad.
“Trouble? I’m in trouble?! How do you justify that?!”
“You know exactly how!”
“Please, please calm down!” said Mum, tugging on my sleeve. Shit. She sounded close to tears. I glared again at Dad and sat down again. “Look, there’s no need to argue about this, I think...”
“Argue, mum? I shouldn’t have thought things would cause such a problem that you’d come into school to find me,” I said, looking at my parents. “Most people wouldn’t give a flying shit.”
“You know we don’t tolerate that sort of behaviour, Frank,” said Dad. I laughed again.
“What behaviour? Standing on a street kissing another guy?!” Mum fell silent beside me, but Dad looked like he was about to burst; his face was red. I didn’t care anymore, I was angry now and when I was angry, I never spoke with my brain. I spoke with my heart.
“Exactly! I can’t believe... my only son...”
“Go on, Dad, say it. Your only son... I know what you’re gonna say. And you know something, Dad? You may only have one son, but I only have one set of parents so if you’re gonna be angry with me, just spit it out!” Dad opened and closed his mouth like a fish, his voice catching in his throat. I stood looking right into his face, hands in my pockets, waiting for him to speak. Eventually, those inevitable words appeared, bringing a punch to my heart;
“A fucking, disgusting fag.”
“I thought so. I ‘love you too’, Dad,” I said, drawing quotation marks in the air, turning, running out of the front room and towards the stairs.
“Frank!” I heard my mum call, but I didn’t stop. I slammed my bedroom door and began to pack an armful of clothes into my rucksack. With the other hand, I dialed Gerard’s number. He picked up immediately.
“Frankie! How’d it go?”
“Like shit. Can I come round?”
“Of course you can! Did it really go that bad?”
“Dad called me a fag.”
“Can I stay for a bit?”
“Course. When you coming around?”
“Now, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it is.”
“Thank you, Gee,” I said, slowing down as I packed my guitar carefully into it’s case.
“Yes, Gee?” There was a quick silence.
“I love you.” My heart skipped a beat when he said those words. He loves you. Frank, wake up, he’s waiting... he loves you!
“I... I love you too,” I said, feeling the grin completely taking over my face. I could almost feel his own smile down the phone. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you, angel.” I was still grinning when he hung up.
“Sweetie, what are you doing?” I spun and saw my mum standing sadly in my doorway. I scowled and turned my back to her, and continued my packing. “Frankie, please...”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m putting clothes into a bag.”
“Frank, please don’t do this...”
“Do what, mum?” I asked, turning back around and looking her in the eye. “Leave? He doesn’t want me here, does he?” I pointed to Dad, who was hovering behind Mum in the corridor outside my room.
“Look, sweetie, we can figure something out for you...”
“For me?! I don’t need any figuring out, mum. You want to know something? And Dad, you also want to know something? I’m gay. And I’m leaving here and going to stay at my boyfriend’s house for a few days until you guys realize that you’re the ones who need to sort your act out. I’m not going to change. You need to realize that I’m your son and you shouldn’t judge me because of who I am,” I said. Both of my parents looked shocked. Das looked angry as fuck, but speechless. I sighed and picked up my bags.
“Frank, please don’t do this!” said Mum when I brushed past her.
“Do what? If you loved me, who I loved wouldn’t bother either of you. So why don’t I go stay with someone who does love me?”
“Fine,” said Dad, finally finding his voice. I stared at him, my heart sinking. “Fine. Go.” I nodded.
“Give me a call if you want me back.” I ran down the stairs with my rucksack and guitar case, and out the front door.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH. That's sorta what I felt like. I hope you like this a lot! I LIKED IT A LOT! By the way, I've just started a Wattpad account. I am, obviously, BleedingValentine. I'm gonna put maybe some more of my original stuff there, as well as putting up all these fics. I think here's better for Fanfiction, and Wattpad batter for what I want to do with original fiction
By the way, please go and listen to 'Backseat Serendae' - the new song by All Time Low. It's perfect. And Rate and Review - love you guys!