Taylor finds herself in need of a friend, and there Frank is... once again.
I continuously clicked the next button on my IPOD as I waited for an acceptable song to come on. I just wanted something a little less peppy, something that didn’t lack emotion. I wanted something real. Eventually I gave up. It’s not like I actually had anything real on there anyway. My entire life lacked emotion. Everything I worked for was manufactured, until right now. I was crying real tears, and feeling real pain. I was betrayed by someone that I thought was my friend. Our friendship wasn’t exactly conventional but things weren’t always so bad. We used to confide in each other. We used to actually feel like friends but then everything just fell apart. Or rather, we tore everything apart. I gave up everything to be popular, including myself. Now I didn’t even know where to start with recovering. I didn’t even feel like a person anymore.
I just wanted to cry.
As I buried my face in my pillow I caught an unfamiliar scent and realized… it was the smell of Frank.
I’d always hated the guy. He was a know it all, always prepared with some sarcastic comment. Everything about him was dangerous, and tempting. He didn’t do things the right way, and he didn’t care. He just did things his way and I envied his freedom. I envied him for it, and I hated him for it.
And yet… he was the one there for me. He was the one that held me when I cried. He was the one that saved me, and brought me home. He even turned down my advances as I tried to pay him back, as foolish as that now sounded. I hadn’t been thinking clearly the other night, but thankfully he had been.
I glanced up at the wall, thinking of the way he looked at me. It wasn’t with pity, or disgust… or even hatred, though we’d hated each other for what felt like forever. He looked at me like I was a person, and he treated me like I was one too. I didn’t have to earn his respect. He just gave it. I didn’t have to earn his kindness. It came freely. I’d never experienced that before. I never did a damn thing for him but in my time of need, he rescued me… and expected nothing in return.
With a jolt I sat up in bed, suddenly remembering that he’d given me his shirt. Sure enough… it was his shirt that I was wearing. It was some band I’d never heard of, dark and gory- and comfortable. I would take it off, just not right now. I hadn’t even moved since the night before and now it was almost seven PM. I was sleeping my weekend away, or trying to. When I woke up in the morning I took a sleeping pill and fell right back asleep. Now I was awake though, unfortunately.
I just wanted to sleep until I didn’t hurt so much. I just wanted to sleep until I forgot all about what almost happened.
It was this morning that I realized in my time of need I don’t really have anyone. I never really spent any of my free time making friends. I made enemies and labeled them friends. That’s how I thought things were supposed to go, but now as I thought of all the movies I’d watched… with all the people who had friends, people they could rely on… I wanted something like that. I wanted a friend that I could confide in. I wanted someone around who wouldn’t judge me, or betray me just for the hell of it. I wanted a real friendship.
I was alone.
And as I stumbled to the bathroom I realized… I was also on my period.
“Dude, I told you before and I’ll tell you again, for the millionth time, nothing fucking happened.” I muttered in frustration.
Now it wasn’t just Gerard who was questioning me, but also Mikey, Bob, and Ray. And it was all just because Gerard saw me in the bedroom with Taylor, who everyone knew I hated.
All of my friends hated her too. She didn’t strive to make herself too likable, so it wasn’t all that much of a shock that no one liked her.
“But I saw-“ Gerard started once again. He sounded like a fucking broken record.
“You saw me giving her my shirt because hers got ruined at the party.” I lied, convincingly. I hated lying to my friends though. Teachers? No problem. My parents? I didn’t really have to lie to them, but I didn’t mind lying. My friends? That made me feel bad. I’d never lied to them before. It wasn’t really my truth to tell though, it was Taylor’s.
“So she asked you for your shirt, out of everyone at the party? She fucking hates you.” Bob reminded me, “Oh, and you hate her too. Do you get why we don’t believe you guys were just exchanging shirts and pleasant conversation in a bedroom alone at a party?”
“Actually-“ I spoke as confidently as I could, which was pretty confident… and completely convincing. Why was I such a good liar? It actually made me stop to think of how much I’d lied in my lifetime. Too much, I was sure of that. “-I wandered in to the room she was in as she was cleaning up, or trying to clean up, her shirt but it was a loss. We exchanged some hurtful words as usual, and then she told me that I’d better fucking give her my lame ass shirt, and so I did.”
Each of my friends seemed to think over that answer, and found it suitable enough. “I can’t believe she jacked your shirt.” Gerard mumbled. “What a bitch.”
“Yeah, she could have at least given you a blowjob.” Mikey inappropriately commented.
I shrugged, “I told you guys, I’m not in to STDs. I don’t do sexual services at parties like that. It’s the breeding ground for high school diseases.”
Ray rolled his eyes.
Things were okay, for now. Except for the fact that I’d just lied to my best friends for a girl that I didn’t even like, one who didn’t even like me.
It wasn’t until eight o’clock that I made it to the store, with a small itemized list of the things that I needed to pick up. It included my favorite item ever. Tampons. Yeah, I picked up tampons for my mother. She was a good mother. I owed her that much.
I stood in the aisle, blankly staring. Jesus, I’d already forgotten what the hell to get. It was like… wait, no. They all looked the same. Just different colors, and… different sizes? Jesus. I was going to hyperventilate right here, and right now in this aisle of horror. Escape route… What’s my escape route?
“Can I… uh, help you find what you’re looking for? I think I’m more experienced in this aisle.” The voice was soft, but familiar. It lacked it’s crushing brutality, but it was still the same voice. Taylor.
“Oh, Taylor-“ I started talking but quickly shut my mouth as I turned to glance at her.
It wasn’t the Taylor that I knew.
She wasn’t bouncing with falsified energy, and she wasn’t wearing the latest fashion. She looked… pretty. She looked really, really pretty. With her hair up her face was more revealed, which allowed me to see the structure of her face. She had a strong jaw, and such smooth ivory skin. With the make-up she wore she usually always gave herself a blush, a ridiculous manufactured blush. She actually didn’t appear to be wearing make-up at all and that seemed to be for the best. She was fucking gorgeous without make-up.
She was wearing sweat pants, which made her look adorable and down to earth.
She was also… still wearing my shirt.
“Hi Frank.” Taylor finally responded, with an awkward smile. She had dimples. Of course she had fucking dimples.
“Hey Taylor.” I responded, as the shock began to wear off. “Yeah, I need tampons. Well, my mom needs tampons but… you know, so many colors… and sizes… are these different sizes?”
Taylor chuckled lightly as she gazed at the list I was holding out in front of me. “It says right here silly. You want this one.” She picked up a box for me and placed it in my cart.
Oh. How had I overlooked that? It was like my mother had written it in girl code. It wasn’t normal English. “So, how’s your period going?” Worst fucking question ever. I kind of hated myself for asking her, and I obviously hadn’t even meant to. It just slipped out.
Taylor seemed completely surprised by the question. “It’s going…” She awkwardly answered, “How’s uh… being a guy going?” Nice comeback question. I was a little proud of her sense of humor, and I laughed.
“It’s going.” She laughed as well, “I might even actually snort some beer later and watch the sports channel for hours until my brain finally succumbs to the testosterone.”
“Is that how the man transformation happens?” Taylor inquired, with an adorable smile of amusement. Wait, adorable? Taylor was not adorable. Just over twenty four hours ago she was the devil.
It was like I’d been raped of my opinion, and now I didn’t know how I felt about her. She was… nice, outside of school. Or maybe she was just nice when she was vulnerable and this was the aftermath- it didn’t mean it’d last.
“Generally.” I answered her, “And you become a woman by shoving cotton in yourself? I prefer being a man.”
“Actually it’s the bleeding that does it.” Taylor corrected me with a laugh, “The whole cotton thing is just out of convenience- we don’t want to bleed all over the floor, you know? Oh… and hey, I- I’ll give you your shirt back soon. I just wanted to wash it first.” Now she was blushing, but it was a healthy natural blush.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” I smiled kindly, “It looks better on you anyway.” Oh damn. Was I seriously flirting with Taylor? No I wasn’t. I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. That was against the law of… social construction. We were in two completely different groups. My group didn’t give a fuck and her group did. Completely different.
A smile tugged at Taylor’s lips. “Well I just- I don’t really have anything on under this so I – I’ll just give it back later.” I could tell my compliment had gotten to her from her current flushed appearance. “I should… I should just go now.” But she didn’t seem to want to go.
I decided to let the conversation go for a little longer, “Well you, you must be really busy this weekend… Are you? I mean, really busy?” Smooth operator.
Taylor frowned, “I’m not busy. Are you?”
“I’m not.” I took a deep breath and braced myself for the question that I was just about to ask. Did I even really want to ask it? I was completely confused but… Taylor was right here, and so was I- and she did look really pretty, and she was being bearable… and so maybe I kind of liked how she was being. “So since neither of us are busy, do you think you’d be interested in going out to a late dinner with me tonight?”
Taylor let how confused she was show, “You want… like a date?”
“Yeah, like a date.” I answered.
“Yeah, okay.” Taylor nodded, the puzzled expression still upon her face. “Okay, so um… what time? It’s already kind of late.”
I was taking Taylor on a date. Who would’ve thought?
Obviously neither of us. Our mutual looks of shock displayed that much.