Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Pause For Reflection.
Chapter Fifteen
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Chapter fifteen.
The next day I had gone for a walk to the lake, same as every morning, and I found Gerard sitting on the stone bench waiting for me with a small smile on his face.
“Hi.” He smiled.
“Hi..” I mumbled, tilting my head to the side and approaching him. The closer I got to him, the more fake his smile appeared to be, so I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you ok?”
“Fine.” He continued to smile.
“Are you sure?” I slightly frowned. “I mean, is there something bothering you?”
“Just.. Adult stuff..” Gerard shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Adult stuff? Oh so now you’re going to treat me like a child?” I frowned, folding my arms across my chest and looking down at him.
“Is it, like, be pissed off at Gerard day or some shit? Because that’s what it feels like. Eliza is pissed off at me, my younger brother is pissed off at me; I wouldn’t be fucking surprised if I did something to piss you off too.” Gerard groaned, hanging his head back.
“No, No. You haven’t made me pissed off.” I said quickly, sitting beside him. “I’m sorry.. If I knew you were having a bad day I wouldn’t have said that..”
“It’s ok.. I didn’t expect you to notice anything anyway..” He mumbled, looking out to the lake.
“Uh, Gerard, why, if I may ask, is everyone pissed at you?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Well, Eliza is a chick, she’s always pissed at someone, I guess it’s just my turn. And my little brother, Mikey, ugh. I don’t even know what his problem is.” He sighed. “And I.. I’m just pissed off at me for, well, being me..”
“Being you?”
“I’m not cut out for anything. Especially this fucking wedding.”
Normally I’d stop asking questions there, I mean, from that point on is just his personal information, basically, but I couldn’t help but slip out another question.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“It’s pretty self explanatory.” He smirked, looking at me as if I was dumb for asking such a question. But, hey, at least he’s smirking. “I mean, look at me.” He continued. “I am not husband material.”
“I think you’d make a lovely husband..” I mumbled. “You’ve just got to stop putting yourself down.”
This time Gerard chuckled, “I can’t even fucking dance. And everyone knows how it’s most girls dream to dance with the man they love on their wedding day. Cliché, blehh.”
An idea and a few memories then sparked in the back of my mind.
“Gerard, come for a walk and tell me more..” I mumbled, jumping up.
I began to walk before he could even disagree or breathe a word in reply.
Gerard began to explain his situation as we began to walk along the path. “Well, to put this whole tedious situation bluntly, I over thought about the whole situation and walked off.”
“All because you can’t dance?” I asked.
“Well, that’s only part of it, but to keep things simple we’ll stick with that.” Gerard sighed.
“Gerard, I think I might be able to help you.” I told him, biting down on my lip.
Gerard’s face lit up, “You will?”
“Hey, I never said I will be able to help you. I said I might be able to help you.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt.
“What are you--”
“I used to go to a prissy private school,” I told him, cutting him off.
“Used to?” He frowned as we entered the park that was no longer cut off by caution signs because of the Childs murder.
“Yeah, yeah. But never mind that. In year seven, we could not pick our elective classes, and we had to go into whatever class they put us in.” I told him, looking around to make sure not many other people were in the park.
There were other people, which, honestly, surprised me.
There was an old women pushing, what looked like, her grandson on a swing and a couple sitting on the park bench, but that was about it.
I wonder if that old women knows that she’s standing where a Childs body was less than twenty-four hours ago..
“So they put me in this prissy little dance class that I didn’t even show upto for half the semester, but when I did I picked up on a few tips and shit. Just basic stuff.” I continued, bringing my attention back to Gerard as I took his hands.
“Wait, so you know how to dance?” Gerard asked.
Positioning our hands and dragging us both to the shade of a tall tree, I nodded. “But only basic stuff.” I repeated.
Gerard tapped with his hand that was placed on my shoulder and squeezed the hand that he had in his grip before he whined, “I want to lead.”
“I know the moves.” I reminded him, raising an eyebrow. “So I lead. And that means you’re the girl.”
Gerard didn’t reply, instead he sulked in silence.
I let Gerard get used to where I had put my hands and where his hands had to be before I began to teach him what steps to take.
“Ok, Uh, I normally step to the music, but there’s no music so we’ll just have to try and do it on our own for now..” I mumbled, stepping us both to the left.
Gerard just smirked and watched his feet. “This is cute.”
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes.
Gerard didn’t reply, or look to my face until he had finally caught on to what we were doing and no longer had to stare at his feet to be able to move with me.
“I just think this is cute.” Gerard smiled, pressing himself against me as we danced in the silhouette of the tree behind me.
“How is it cute?” I frowned. “I’m just teaching you how to dance.”
“Well it’s like a movie scene.” He smiled. He then lifted our hands and made me do a little twirl before pulling me back to him, chest to chest, by my hand.
I placed my hand that wasn’t gripping Gerard’s on his shoulder and asked, “How is it like a movie scene?”
“Well, have you ever watched a crappy Jennifer Lopez movie? My fiancé always make me watch them with her. They are complete hell. Oh my god. Seriously.” He groaned with a smirk as we continued dancing. “This is like a scene from one of them.” He laughed.
“Excuse me? Are you saying I’m a crappy dancer? Because you aren’t any better.” I frowned, stomping on his foot.
“No, no, no!” Gerard half laughed half yelped from pain.
“Well then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that this could be a movie scene!” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Dancing under a tree on a beautiful day in the par—”
“It’s not a beautiful day.” I frowned. “It’s going to rain.”
Gerard hung his head back and groaned.
“Sorry..” I mumbled.
“Anyway, this could be a movie scene. But if this was a movie scene I would have pulled you even closer, like this.” Gerard said as he dragged me closer.
I stared up to him and didn’t say a word.
“And then we’d just stop. And kind of stare into each other’s eyes, like in the movies.” He whispered, staring into my eyes. “And slowly, very, very slowly, I’d move my face closer to yours..” His face was now so close to mine I could feel his warm breath on my lips.
By now, a little zap of panic jolted through my body. I had no idea what was going on. I’ve never been this close to another human being before, little lone an engaged man.
Gerard spoke again, “And then we’d kiss..” He smiled, pressing his lips to my top lip only lightly before he pulled away from me and made me do another twirl under his arm.
“What was that for?” I whispered.
“Well, to remind you that we are not in a movie. Other than that, no reason.” He smiled.
The next day I had gone for a walk to the lake, same as every morning, and I found Gerard sitting on the stone bench waiting for me with a small smile on his face.
“Hi.” He smiled.
“Hi..” I mumbled, tilting my head to the side and approaching him. The closer I got to him, the more fake his smile appeared to be, so I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you ok?”
“Fine.” He continued to smile.
“Are you sure?” I slightly frowned. “I mean, is there something bothering you?”
“Just.. Adult stuff..” Gerard shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Adult stuff? Oh so now you’re going to treat me like a child?” I frowned, folding my arms across my chest and looking down at him.
“Is it, like, be pissed off at Gerard day or some shit? Because that’s what it feels like. Eliza is pissed off at me, my younger brother is pissed off at me; I wouldn’t be fucking surprised if I did something to piss you off too.” Gerard groaned, hanging his head back.
“No, No. You haven’t made me pissed off.” I said quickly, sitting beside him. “I’m sorry.. If I knew you were having a bad day I wouldn’t have said that..”
“It’s ok.. I didn’t expect you to notice anything anyway..” He mumbled, looking out to the lake.
“Uh, Gerard, why, if I may ask, is everyone pissed at you?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Well, Eliza is a chick, she’s always pissed at someone, I guess it’s just my turn. And my little brother, Mikey, ugh. I don’t even know what his problem is.” He sighed. “And I.. I’m just pissed off at me for, well, being me..”
“Being you?”
“I’m not cut out for anything. Especially this fucking wedding.”
Normally I’d stop asking questions there, I mean, from that point on is just his personal information, basically, but I couldn’t help but slip out another question.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“It’s pretty self explanatory.” He smirked, looking at me as if I was dumb for asking such a question. But, hey, at least he’s smirking. “I mean, look at me.” He continued. “I am not husband material.”
“I think you’d make a lovely husband..” I mumbled. “You’ve just got to stop putting yourself down.”
This time Gerard chuckled, “I can’t even fucking dance. And everyone knows how it’s most girls dream to dance with the man they love on their wedding day. Cliché, blehh.”
An idea and a few memories then sparked in the back of my mind.
“Gerard, come for a walk and tell me more..” I mumbled, jumping up.
I began to walk before he could even disagree or breathe a word in reply.
Gerard began to explain his situation as we began to walk along the path. “Well, to put this whole tedious situation bluntly, I over thought about the whole situation and walked off.”
“All because you can’t dance?” I asked.
“Well, that’s only part of it, but to keep things simple we’ll stick with that.” Gerard sighed.
“Gerard, I think I might be able to help you.” I told him, biting down on my lip.
Gerard’s face lit up, “You will?”
“Hey, I never said I will be able to help you. I said I might be able to help you.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt.
“What are you--”
“I used to go to a prissy private school,” I told him, cutting him off.
“Used to?” He frowned as we entered the park that was no longer cut off by caution signs because of the Childs murder.
“Yeah, yeah. But never mind that. In year seven, we could not pick our elective classes, and we had to go into whatever class they put us in.” I told him, looking around to make sure not many other people were in the park.
There were other people, which, honestly, surprised me.
There was an old women pushing, what looked like, her grandson on a swing and a couple sitting on the park bench, but that was about it.
I wonder if that old women knows that she’s standing where a Childs body was less than twenty-four hours ago..
“So they put me in this prissy little dance class that I didn’t even show upto for half the semester, but when I did I picked up on a few tips and shit. Just basic stuff.” I continued, bringing my attention back to Gerard as I took his hands.
“Wait, so you know how to dance?” Gerard asked.
Positioning our hands and dragging us both to the shade of a tall tree, I nodded. “But only basic stuff.” I repeated.
Gerard tapped with his hand that was placed on my shoulder and squeezed the hand that he had in his grip before he whined, “I want to lead.”
“I know the moves.” I reminded him, raising an eyebrow. “So I lead. And that means you’re the girl.”
Gerard didn’t reply, instead he sulked in silence.
I let Gerard get used to where I had put my hands and where his hands had to be before I began to teach him what steps to take.
“Ok, Uh, I normally step to the music, but there’s no music so we’ll just have to try and do it on our own for now..” I mumbled, stepping us both to the left.
Gerard just smirked and watched his feet. “This is cute.”
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes.
Gerard didn’t reply, or look to my face until he had finally caught on to what we were doing and no longer had to stare at his feet to be able to move with me.
“I just think this is cute.” Gerard smiled, pressing himself against me as we danced in the silhouette of the tree behind me.
“How is it cute?” I frowned. “I’m just teaching you how to dance.”
“Well it’s like a movie scene.” He smiled. He then lifted our hands and made me do a little twirl before pulling me back to him, chest to chest, by my hand.
I placed my hand that wasn’t gripping Gerard’s on his shoulder and asked, “How is it like a movie scene?”
“Well, have you ever watched a crappy Jennifer Lopez movie? My fiancé always make me watch them with her. They are complete hell. Oh my god. Seriously.” He groaned with a smirk as we continued dancing. “This is like a scene from one of them.” He laughed.
“Excuse me? Are you saying I’m a crappy dancer? Because you aren’t any better.” I frowned, stomping on his foot.
“No, no, no!” Gerard half laughed half yelped from pain.
“Well then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that this could be a movie scene!” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Dancing under a tree on a beautiful day in the par—”
“It’s not a beautiful day.” I frowned. “It’s going to rain.”
Gerard hung his head back and groaned.
“Sorry..” I mumbled.
“Anyway, this could be a movie scene. But if this was a movie scene I would have pulled you even closer, like this.” Gerard said as he dragged me closer.
I stared up to him and didn’t say a word.
“And then we’d just stop. And kind of stare into each other’s eyes, like in the movies.” He whispered, staring into my eyes. “And slowly, very, very slowly, I’d move my face closer to yours..” His face was now so close to mine I could feel his warm breath on my lips.
By now, a little zap of panic jolted through my body. I had no idea what was going on. I’ve never been this close to another human being before, little lone an engaged man.
Gerard spoke again, “And then we’d kiss..” He smiled, pressing his lips to my top lip only lightly before he pulled away from me and made me do another twirl under his arm.
“What was that for?” I whispered.
“Well, to remind you that we are not in a movie. Other than that, no reason.” He smiled.
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