Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Pause For Reflection.
Chapter Sixteen.
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Chapter Sixteen.
Gerard and I sat under the tree, staring up at the grey sky. Every now and then Gerard would point to a cloud and say it looks like something ridiculous like an abstract fish, or even something as preposterous as an elephant balancing on a tight rope, and every time I’d try my hardest not to laugh at his strange, yet unique, point of view.
I wanted him to stop because I didn’t want to laugh, but at the same time I wanted him to continue because it was distracting me from the awkwardness of the earlier events.
I didn’t mind that he had practically kissed me, because I know that it means nothing between the two of us, but that doesn’t mean that it’s still not awkward. Well for me anyway.
Picking at the green grass between our crossed legs, Gerard laughed, “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” I asked.
“You’re stopping yourself from showing any positive emotions.” He smiled, placing the strands of grass flat in the palm of his pale hand.
I watched him line the grass neat and mumbled, “Oh well..”
“Oh well?” He laughed. “Oh well?” He then blew the grass in my face. “Saying oh well isn’t going to get you any happiness.”
I scrunched up my face and clawed away at my hair, trying to get the grass out while Gerard laughed.
“You know what? You’re to positive.” I frowned.
Gerard just laughed even more, “You can never be to positive.”
“Yeah, well, you are!”
“You’re so shit at comebacks it actually emotionally hurts me.” He smirked.
“Just because you’re perfect!” I frowned. “Oh look at me, I’m Gerard Way and I’m the most perfect and positive person on the planet.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not perfect.” He smiled. “Just happy.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, smile and see what I mean..”
“Hey, I’m not dumb. I see what you’re trying to do there.” I said, pointing at him.
“Oh, sorry, I thought you’d be dumb enough to fall for it..” He mumbled, breathing out as he picked at the grass. “I guess you’re just way too smart for me Frank..”
Happy with his words, I looked up to the sky.
There was a small silence between Gerard and I; I remained looking at the sky and Gerard continued picking at the grass, sighing in defeat, that was until he looked in my direction anyway.
“AH-HUH!” Gerard said, pointing at my face and poking me while he was at it - almost knocking me over. “THERE IT IS!”
Eventually, I did fall to the side while groaning, “What?”
“You were smiling! You were smiling!” Gerard chanted. “That compliment thing works every time!”
“I wasn’t smiling..” I mumbled, sitting up.
“You were, you just didn’t notice it.” Gerard smiled, pleased with himself. “It’s like when you think that you’re staring at something when, really, you’re staring at someone. You don’t really notice until you blink and snap back to reality or someone points it out to you.”
“I wasn’t smiling..” I mumbled, looking to the grass with a small frown.
Gerard then grabbed my face and squished it up with his fingers, making me look at him as he played with my cheeks like they were putty. “Awh smile, wittle Fwankie.” He said in a baby voice.
“Let.. Go..” I mumbled behind my smushed up cheeks.
Gerard then began to pull faces at me; puffing up his cheeks like a baby kissy face.
I had to hold back a laugh. I mean, come on. It’s a twenty-two year old man pulling faces like a child.
“What’s that?” He gasped. “Is that a wittle smile?”
Laughing, I slapped his hands away. “I’m not a child!”
“I was trying to settle for a smile, but a laugh will do.” He smiled.
“I couldn’t help it..” I softly giggled, trying to cover up my giggle with a forced cough. “You were pulling funny faces at me.”
“What are you? Four years old?” Gerard laughed, shoving me lightly. “Why don’t you smile more?”
“Because..” I mumbled.
“But you look nice when you smile.”
“Looking nice isn’t the point of the smile, Gerard. It’s the reason behind the smile that matters. Anyone could be a naturally happy person with a natural smile on their face 24/7, or it could just be painted there like a coat to hide their emotions.” I sighed. “And behind my smile is everything you'll never understand, Gerard.”
Gerard looked impressed by my words and said, “I bow to a skill far greater than my own.” And then, with a small, charming smile he asked, “Who taught you that?”
“I did. I taught myself everything..” I mumbled.
Gerard frowned like he was just putting the pieces together. Like he was only just realising why I’m always here and never at school. Like he was only just clicking on that I didn’t even go to school anymore.
“You’re a drop out?” He asked eventually.
“Ten points to Gryffindor.” I sighed sarcastically with a hint of fake enthusiasm in my voice.
Gerard frowned, picking at the grass. “Why didn’t you say so?” He asked.
“It’s not exactly an easy topic to bring up, Gerard.” I frowned. “Oh hey, I’m Frank Iero. I dropped out of school at sixteen. What’s your name?” I said sarcastically. “No one wants to be friends with a drop out like me. I bet if you had known you wouldn’t have been my friend.”
“Well.. You’re still you, right?” He asked, twirling a strand of grass in his fingers and now looking at me. “So it doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t a drop out, now does it?”
“Well.. I..”
“Exactly. You don’t have an answer.”
Frowning and desperate to come up with an answer I continued babbling helplessly. “I.. I.. Uh..”
“Frank, I don’t care if you’re a drop out. You’re a good friend to me so I’m a good friend to you. I don’t care about your past, or even your future, I just care about our friendship.” Gerard sighed, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“But you’re so.. Sophisticated.. And nice..” I mumbled.
“I don’t know about the sophisticated part, but, yeah; I’m nice. And nice guys don’t care if their friend has a past they’re ashamed of, they learn to look ahead of that.” He smiled.
“Do you ever think you’re too nice?” I asked.
Gerard laughed and shook his head, “You can never be too nice. Now come on, give me one of your priceless smiles.”
Flattered, I laughed, “I wouldn’t call them priceless..”
Gerard smiled and merely said, “But I would.”
Gerard and I sat under the tree, staring up at the grey sky. Every now and then Gerard would point to a cloud and say it looks like something ridiculous like an abstract fish, or even something as preposterous as an elephant balancing on a tight rope, and every time I’d try my hardest not to laugh at his strange, yet unique, point of view.
I wanted him to stop because I didn’t want to laugh, but at the same time I wanted him to continue because it was distracting me from the awkwardness of the earlier events.
I didn’t mind that he had practically kissed me, because I know that it means nothing between the two of us, but that doesn’t mean that it’s still not awkward. Well for me anyway.
Picking at the green grass between our crossed legs, Gerard laughed, “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” I asked.
“You’re stopping yourself from showing any positive emotions.” He smiled, placing the strands of grass flat in the palm of his pale hand.
I watched him line the grass neat and mumbled, “Oh well..”
“Oh well?” He laughed. “Oh well?” He then blew the grass in my face. “Saying oh well isn’t going to get you any happiness.”
I scrunched up my face and clawed away at my hair, trying to get the grass out while Gerard laughed.
“You know what? You’re to positive.” I frowned.
Gerard just laughed even more, “You can never be to positive.”
“Yeah, well, you are!”
“You’re so shit at comebacks it actually emotionally hurts me.” He smirked.
“Just because you’re perfect!” I frowned. “Oh look at me, I’m Gerard Way and I’m the most perfect and positive person on the planet.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not perfect.” He smiled. “Just happy.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, smile and see what I mean..”
“Hey, I’m not dumb. I see what you’re trying to do there.” I said, pointing at him.
“Oh, sorry, I thought you’d be dumb enough to fall for it..” He mumbled, breathing out as he picked at the grass. “I guess you’re just way too smart for me Frank..”
Happy with his words, I looked up to the sky.
There was a small silence between Gerard and I; I remained looking at the sky and Gerard continued picking at the grass, sighing in defeat, that was until he looked in my direction anyway.
“AH-HUH!” Gerard said, pointing at my face and poking me while he was at it - almost knocking me over. “THERE IT IS!”
Eventually, I did fall to the side while groaning, “What?”
“You were smiling! You were smiling!” Gerard chanted. “That compliment thing works every time!”
“I wasn’t smiling..” I mumbled, sitting up.
“You were, you just didn’t notice it.” Gerard smiled, pleased with himself. “It’s like when you think that you’re staring at something when, really, you’re staring at someone. You don’t really notice until you blink and snap back to reality or someone points it out to you.”
“I wasn’t smiling..” I mumbled, looking to the grass with a small frown.
Gerard then grabbed my face and squished it up with his fingers, making me look at him as he played with my cheeks like they were putty. “Awh smile, wittle Fwankie.” He said in a baby voice.
“Let.. Go..” I mumbled behind my smushed up cheeks.
Gerard then began to pull faces at me; puffing up his cheeks like a baby kissy face.
I had to hold back a laugh. I mean, come on. It’s a twenty-two year old man pulling faces like a child.
“What’s that?” He gasped. “Is that a wittle smile?”
Laughing, I slapped his hands away. “I’m not a child!”
“I was trying to settle for a smile, but a laugh will do.” He smiled.
“I couldn’t help it..” I softly giggled, trying to cover up my giggle with a forced cough. “You were pulling funny faces at me.”
“What are you? Four years old?” Gerard laughed, shoving me lightly. “Why don’t you smile more?”
“Because..” I mumbled.
“But you look nice when you smile.”
“Looking nice isn’t the point of the smile, Gerard. It’s the reason behind the smile that matters. Anyone could be a naturally happy person with a natural smile on their face 24/7, or it could just be painted there like a coat to hide their emotions.” I sighed. “And behind my smile is everything you'll never understand, Gerard.”
Gerard looked impressed by my words and said, “I bow to a skill far greater than my own.” And then, with a small, charming smile he asked, “Who taught you that?”
“I did. I taught myself everything..” I mumbled.
Gerard frowned like he was just putting the pieces together. Like he was only just realising why I’m always here and never at school. Like he was only just clicking on that I didn’t even go to school anymore.
“You’re a drop out?” He asked eventually.
“Ten points to Gryffindor.” I sighed sarcastically with a hint of fake enthusiasm in my voice.
Gerard frowned, picking at the grass. “Why didn’t you say so?” He asked.
“It’s not exactly an easy topic to bring up, Gerard.” I frowned. “Oh hey, I’m Frank Iero. I dropped out of school at sixteen. What’s your name?” I said sarcastically. “No one wants to be friends with a drop out like me. I bet if you had known you wouldn’t have been my friend.”
“Well.. You’re still you, right?” He asked, twirling a strand of grass in his fingers and now looking at me. “So it doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t a drop out, now does it?”
“Well.. I..”
“Exactly. You don’t have an answer.”
Frowning and desperate to come up with an answer I continued babbling helplessly. “I.. I.. Uh..”
“Frank, I don’t care if you’re a drop out. You’re a good friend to me so I’m a good friend to you. I don’t care about your past, or even your future, I just care about our friendship.” Gerard sighed, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“But you’re so.. Sophisticated.. And nice..” I mumbled.
“I don’t know about the sophisticated part, but, yeah; I’m nice. And nice guys don’t care if their friend has a past they’re ashamed of, they learn to look ahead of that.” He smiled.
“Do you ever think you’re too nice?” I asked.
Gerard laughed and shook his head, “You can never be too nice. Now come on, give me one of your priceless smiles.”
Flattered, I laughed, “I wouldn’t call them priceless..”
Gerard smiled and merely said, “But I would.”
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