Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > More Than Just A Roommate
Reconcile
1 Reviews
Chapter 12
Brendon awoke to the smell of coffee. He lay still, eyes shut, inhaling the smell. He was still tired from his lack of sleep last night, and his head hurt a little. He moved his arm from underneath his head and stretched it, wincing at the initial ache. He wasn't sure that it had ever healed properly, but it wasn't so bad. He was humming a tune to himself when he suddenly realized. He sat bolt upright, almost falling out of bed, and looked at his bedside table. Coffee. He had woken up, and there was coffee.
Ryan had woken up to the sound of light breathing, that wasn't his own. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and who that breathing belonged to. He opened his eyes to see Brendon, fast asleep, curled up into his duvet. Ryan was sitting partly upright against the headboard, and his back ached like crazy. He climbed out of the bed and headed for the kitchen. He remembered what Brendon had told him the night before, and he felt bad. Brendon shouldn't be plagued with these awful dreams. Ryan was plagued with dreams of his own, but they weren't necessarily awful, just odd. He always dreamed of times with Brendon, but it was only the things Brendon had told him about. He thought. He wasn't really sure. A tiny part of him hoped that it miht be memories, but he fekt that he hoped in vain. He remembered one thing Brendon had told him in particular.
'We'd fallen into a routine, and it felt like I'd known you forever. Each morning I would wake up to a fresh mug of coffee on my bedside table, and you would always know exactly when I was awake. Even when I tried to lift the mug really quietly, you would know, and you would slip into the room and sit beside me whilst I finished my drink. You'd wait patiently, until I'd finished, and only then would you kiss me. You always said it was because you hated my morning breath but you loved the taste of coffee.'
Ryan had a thought then, and quickly switched on the coffee maker. He instinctively put in two spoonfuls of coffee and a half of sugar, before remembering that was the way he liked coffee. He couldn't remember if Brendon liked his that way, but he went with it anyway.
Brendon lifted the mug gently, and brought it to his lips. As he did, a figure appeared in the doorway. Ryan came and sat cross-legged beside him on the bed. Brendon was sure that at that moment his heart stopped completely. He remembered how to breathe, and continued to sip his coffee. Was Ryan actually doing what Brendon thought he was doing? He looked at Ryan from over his mug, and Ryan smiled. He tapped his long fingers nervously against the side of the white mug, and took another sip. Did he want this? Of course he did, that was a stupid question, but did Ryan? He hoped Ryan wasn't just doing this because he thought he would like it. Because he would like it, but he wouldn't want it because of that reason. He let his head rest on the headboard, and sighed a little. If he had payed more attention to the stupid cars on that day, none of this would have happened. Or if he'd gone in to help Ryan find his hat, so they could have set off one minute later or before, and they would have been the car in front or the car behind and not the car that got hit. No, he mentally scolded himself. He wouldn't wish it upon anyone. He just had to make the best of what he had. He took a final sip of coffee before placing the mug on the bedside table, and tentatively looking up. Ryan smiled then, unfolding his legs and climbing up the bed until he was level with Brendon.
"Hi" He said quietly.
"Hey" Brendon smiled, and Ryan closed the distance between them. As their lips met, it felt natural, right. Ryan had a hand either side of Brendon's head, on his shoulders, and Brendon had slid a hand onto the back of Ryan's neck. Brendon sighed happily, and he could finally hope that things might actually work out. Ryan pulled away, a blush on his cheeks.
"Good morning" He said, and Brendon laughed a little. Ryan had decided that he loved Brendon's laugh. "Sleep well?"
"I did actually. Thanks, for yesterday" Brendon replied, and Ryan moved back to sit cross-legged again, opposite him.
"It's no problem" He responded. "So, um, I maybe should have asked before but, was that okay? I mean, if you didn't like it or whatever-"
"Ryan. If you haven't already noticed, amnesia or no amnesia, I kinda love you" Brendon said quietly, a blush creeping onto his face.
"Oh" Ryan said. "I mean, yeah. Um, Brendon I really don't know how to say this, um"
"..Say what?" Brendon asked.
"Well I...Okay, for me this is like new, you know? Because I didn't remember you and because I didn't know who you were. So, can we pretend for a second that we never were, you know, so what I'm, saying makes more sense?" Ryan asked, nervous.
"I suppose, go on" Brendon replied, and Ryan took a deep breath.
"So, I kind of really like you, Brendon. Like, a lot". The room went silent, and a long moment passed.
"Ryan, if you're doing this because you think it will make me happy...It wont, I-"
"No!" Ryan exclaimed. "No, no that's not it Brendon honestly I...I really like you" Ryan looked down at his hands, and tried to stop the tears that where somehow brimming. What had happened to him? Ryan didn't cry, over small things anyway, over love. Love. Ryan supposed he never had been in love. He had had girlfriends, sure, but he hadn't loved them, or seen himself having a future with them. 'Maybe because I've been going for the wrong gender' He thinks to himself.
"Really?" Brendon seemed astounded, and Ryan lifted his head to be met with those big brown eyes.
"Yes, really Brendon" He smiled, and Brendon leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Ryan's cheek.
No apologies this time, I'm actually on time! This isn't the last chapter, there's more drama to come soon.
Brendon awoke to the smell of coffee. He lay still, eyes shut, inhaling the smell. He was still tired from his lack of sleep last night, and his head hurt a little. He moved his arm from underneath his head and stretched it, wincing at the initial ache. He wasn't sure that it had ever healed properly, but it wasn't so bad. He was humming a tune to himself when he suddenly realized. He sat bolt upright, almost falling out of bed, and looked at his bedside table. Coffee. He had woken up, and there was coffee.
Ryan had woken up to the sound of light breathing, that wasn't his own. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and who that breathing belonged to. He opened his eyes to see Brendon, fast asleep, curled up into his duvet. Ryan was sitting partly upright against the headboard, and his back ached like crazy. He climbed out of the bed and headed for the kitchen. He remembered what Brendon had told him the night before, and he felt bad. Brendon shouldn't be plagued with these awful dreams. Ryan was plagued with dreams of his own, but they weren't necessarily awful, just odd. He always dreamed of times with Brendon, but it was only the things Brendon had told him about. He thought. He wasn't really sure. A tiny part of him hoped that it miht be memories, but he fekt that he hoped in vain. He remembered one thing Brendon had told him in particular.
'We'd fallen into a routine, and it felt like I'd known you forever. Each morning I would wake up to a fresh mug of coffee on my bedside table, and you would always know exactly when I was awake. Even when I tried to lift the mug really quietly, you would know, and you would slip into the room and sit beside me whilst I finished my drink. You'd wait patiently, until I'd finished, and only then would you kiss me. You always said it was because you hated my morning breath but you loved the taste of coffee.'
Ryan had a thought then, and quickly switched on the coffee maker. He instinctively put in two spoonfuls of coffee and a half of sugar, before remembering that was the way he liked coffee. He couldn't remember if Brendon liked his that way, but he went with it anyway.
Brendon lifted the mug gently, and brought it to his lips. As he did, a figure appeared in the doorway. Ryan came and sat cross-legged beside him on the bed. Brendon was sure that at that moment his heart stopped completely. He remembered how to breathe, and continued to sip his coffee. Was Ryan actually doing what Brendon thought he was doing? He looked at Ryan from over his mug, and Ryan smiled. He tapped his long fingers nervously against the side of the white mug, and took another sip. Did he want this? Of course he did, that was a stupid question, but did Ryan? He hoped Ryan wasn't just doing this because he thought he would like it. Because he would like it, but he wouldn't want it because of that reason. He let his head rest on the headboard, and sighed a little. If he had payed more attention to the stupid cars on that day, none of this would have happened. Or if he'd gone in to help Ryan find his hat, so they could have set off one minute later or before, and they would have been the car in front or the car behind and not the car that got hit. No, he mentally scolded himself. He wouldn't wish it upon anyone. He just had to make the best of what he had. He took a final sip of coffee before placing the mug on the bedside table, and tentatively looking up. Ryan smiled then, unfolding his legs and climbing up the bed until he was level with Brendon.
"Hi" He said quietly.
"Hey" Brendon smiled, and Ryan closed the distance between them. As their lips met, it felt natural, right. Ryan had a hand either side of Brendon's head, on his shoulders, and Brendon had slid a hand onto the back of Ryan's neck. Brendon sighed happily, and he could finally hope that things might actually work out. Ryan pulled away, a blush on his cheeks.
"Good morning" He said, and Brendon laughed a little. Ryan had decided that he loved Brendon's laugh. "Sleep well?"
"I did actually. Thanks, for yesterday" Brendon replied, and Ryan moved back to sit cross-legged again, opposite him.
"It's no problem" He responded. "So, um, I maybe should have asked before but, was that okay? I mean, if you didn't like it or whatever-"
"Ryan. If you haven't already noticed, amnesia or no amnesia, I kinda love you" Brendon said quietly, a blush creeping onto his face.
"Oh" Ryan said. "I mean, yeah. Um, Brendon I really don't know how to say this, um"
"..Say what?" Brendon asked.
"Well I...Okay, for me this is like new, you know? Because I didn't remember you and because I didn't know who you were. So, can we pretend for a second that we never were, you know, so what I'm, saying makes more sense?" Ryan asked, nervous.
"I suppose, go on" Brendon replied, and Ryan took a deep breath.
"So, I kind of really like you, Brendon. Like, a lot". The room went silent, and a long moment passed.
"Ryan, if you're doing this because you think it will make me happy...It wont, I-"
"No!" Ryan exclaimed. "No, no that's not it Brendon honestly I...I really like you" Ryan looked down at his hands, and tried to stop the tears that where somehow brimming. What had happened to him? Ryan didn't cry, over small things anyway, over love. Love. Ryan supposed he never had been in love. He had had girlfriends, sure, but he hadn't loved them, or seen himself having a future with them. 'Maybe because I've been going for the wrong gender' He thinks to himself.
"Really?" Brendon seemed astounded, and Ryan lifted his head to be met with those big brown eyes.
"Yes, really Brendon" He smiled, and Brendon leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Ryan's cheek.
No apologies this time, I'm actually on time! This isn't the last chapter, there's more drama to come soon.
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