Gerard’s cruel words repeated themselves over and over, louder than the sound of the water spilling into the bathtub and the water that already half filled it. And, as much as I wanted to continue being mad at him and blame everything on him, I knew he was right.
Potentially, it is my fault I’m depressed.
It is all my fault.
I’m worthless and can’t do anything right, so it’s no surprise.
With a small, quiet sigh I reached my blood covered hand into the water and swirled it as I stared down at my tired reflection. I had no idea I looked this horrible..
Frowning, I hit my reflection to make it distorted so that I wouldn’t have to look into its mocking eyes. All the while I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket but I already knew it was going to be Gerard, so I took my phone out of my pocket and dropped it into the bathtub; watching as its lights dimmed and its power faded.
Biting my lip and deciding that the bath tub was full enough to do the job, I turned the taps even though it hurt the gashes across my wrists before sighing. I had already decided before hand that I wasn’t going to bother taking my clothes off for this; there’s really no point.
Pulling the red hood over my head, I slipped into the bathtub.
I just seemed to sit there in the cold water for a while, letting it sting at the gashes on my wrists. They were so deep it seemed like I had tried to saw my wrists off. They were stained with red and the flesh was torn and fragile. Disgusting.
I get the feeling like something is looking down on me with disgust, knowing what I’m about to do next. Yelling that it hates me. But, I know that it’s not something. It is, in fact, myself.
With a small sigh, I slipped under the water.
The coldness of the water embedded me, and it felt comforting – Like a cold pair of arms, wrapping themselves tightly around me to the point I couldn’t breathe and see straight.
My view of the ceiling above me was blurred and I parted my lips, letting water flow into my system freely with hesitation.
Then I heard a knock on the door, which made me gasp, causing more water to flow through my lips.
I could hear the hum of a voice saying my name while I resisted the urge to sit up and cough out all the water; but I didn’t. I crushed my eyes shut and forced myself down even more.
The knocking got louder.
The darkness was overwhelming and my lungs were burning, I knew it was all going to go in a matter of seconds. The pressure was already building up in my body. I couldn’t help but feel a relieved smile run across my lips as, with one tug, the darkness took me under.