From the lack of sleep and the bloodshot eyes to the nervous kiss and the butterflies, does this make any sense at all?
Rian couldn’t sleep knowing that Gerard was in the other room, instead of lying next to her in his bed. It just felt wrong to her, and no matter which way she turned- or how many times she buried her face in his pillow- it just didn’t feel right to her, and she just couldn’t sleep.
She stared up at the ceiling and thought over his words, and how painful it would be to be separated from her sister. Gerard just didn’t seem to understand the balance between good and bad. Sometimes he focused too much on the bad, and seemed to forget that there was any good.
Rian wasn’t that colorblind. She saw grey; whereas Gerard simply saw in black and white.
Gerard couldn’t sleep knowing that Rian was upset. He’d tried every position possible on the semi-comfortable couch but nothing was working, and he knew it wasn’t a physical problem but an emotional one. He didn’t like walking away from Rian like that, and he didn’t like the look of hurt that had been upon her face.
Once he gave up on sleep he fished his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Sade Bailey’s number. He hadn’t talked to the girl recently, but she’d been the one in his nightmare- and hearing her voice would make him feel at least a little sane.
The entire thing just felt too real to him.
Sade answered on the third ring. “What’s up? It’s been a while Gerard. Need laid or something?” She chuckled, and Gerard could imagine her rolling her eyes.
“Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing the celebration of your death, or something of equal importance.” Gerard shot back.
“I’m not dead yet.” Sade replied, “Don’t worry though, you’ll be notified just as I hope to be notified when you kick the bucket.”
“You’re on the list.” Gerard answered, “Gotta go. Seriously, give me some advance warning if you decide to stop breathing. That’s something I need time off for. I can’t work with a hangover.”
“You don’t work.” Sade replied, “Later loser.”
“See ya slutbag.”
When Gerard hung up he felt a lot better. Sade was still alive, and it had all just been a dream. Rian was fine. She was in his room. Suddenly he felt the urge to see her, and hold her.
He just couldn’t be mad at her, and he couldn’t stand when she was mad at him. He needed her near him, and that’s why her going home was such a bad fucking idea.
He heard his bedroom door crack open and as he glanced behind him he saw Rian standing in the hallway. She looked so small and vulnerable, and that always got under his skin. Before it had been ideal, when he’d planned to make her a victim. Now he just saw her as a potential victim for every other sicko out in the world, and that was something he could never let happen.
“Come here.” Gerard spoke softly, hoping that would make Rian a little less irritated with him. He just wanted to protect her. She just didn’t get that.
Rian didn’t waste any time as she closed the distance between them. She sat beside Gerard and yawned, “It’s really not fun arguing with you when you leave.”
“It’s not fun arguing with me when I stay either.” Gerard warned.
“So then can we just not argue?” Rian wiped the sleepiness from her eyes, which was just another thing on the long list of things that Gerard found adorable about her.
She had a spark of innocence that the rest of the world lacked.
“I’m really not comfortable with you leaving Rian.” Gerard tried to keep his tone light, so that this could be a conversation instead of an argument because arguing with Rian really wasn’t fun for him either. He hated it.
“I’m not comfortable with my father coming here and arresting you on some bogus charge, or attempting to slap you with a statutory rape charge even though we haven’t slept together yet.”
“Yet?” Gerard grinned goofily.
Rian giggled, “Well, I don’t know. You’re the more experienced one here, isn’t that where relationships generally lead?”
Gerard laughed, “Generally, but ours is a little strange.”
“It is, but I don’t want it to be that strange.” Rian frowned.
Gerard continued laughing, “Me neither.”
“So can’t we compromise?” Rian suggested.
“On sex?” Gerard asked, puzzled.
“No.” Rian shook her head, “On this entire situation. I will go back home until I turn 18 and then I will come here. Can I come here? Gerard… can I live here?”
Gerard was pleasantly surprised for a moment. “Do you… want to?”
Rian nodded, “I do, but I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re such a bad girl.” Gerard teased, as he wrapped his arms around Rian and pulled her towards him. She nearly fell off the couch. “Planning to live with your older boyfriend, and you’re not even… Fuck, how do you even go to school?” He hadn’t even thought about it.
Rian laughed, “I graduated early, but when I went I was home-schooled by my mother.”
“So I have a naughty genius on my hands.” Gerard continued to tease. “Do you know how many school girl fantasies I have?”
“I think I have an outfit that you might find suitable in my closet at home.” Rian teased.
“Oh really?” Gerard asked, “You must pack it when you move in.”
Rian was surprised by Gerard’s good mood, but he was just as surprised. The idea of Rian willingly moving in with him just made him ecstatic. It was an idea of normalcy for the both of them.
“I will.” Rian promised, before breathing in deeply. “So?”
Gerard frowned as he thought over her words, “I don’t know…”
Rian leaned forward, attaching her lips to Gerard’s. It was a passionate kiss, and she put everything she had in to it- as she always did when it came to Gerard. He was something special to her, no matter how dark he happened to be. That didn’t change a thing to her. She still felt something for him, and it was a strong something.
She wasn’t ready to label it yet, like he was- but she knew it was strong, and it was theirs. “I’ll come back, I promise.” Rian whispered, as she kissed down Gerard’s neck.
Gerard groaned, and shifted which effectively pulled Rian on to his lap. She continued assaulting him with soft kisses, driving him crazy with each gentle touch. He wasn’t used to this kind of love-making. He just let his hands stay uselessly at his side because despite how badly he wanted to touch her… he preferred her touch, and what she was doing to him. He was much too rough, and he didn’t want to be rough with her.
For someone so innocent, she could be pretty dirty and Gerard learned that quickly as she started brushing against his crotch. It was light brushing with her body, and it brought him to a full erection quickly.
Rian sucked Gerard’s earlobe in to her warm wet mouth and lightly bit it, without coming anywhere near close to breaking skin. She grinded her crotch against Gerard’s again and he moaned loudly. “Stop.” Gerard choked out.
Rian was quick to stop, but also upset over it. “Stop?” She questioned him.
Gerard stared in to her eyes and his lust was clear. “Stop, or I won’t be able to stop.” He informed her.
His erection was pressing against his jeans painfully, and he suddenly wished he hadn’t slipped them on when he left the bedroom. If he hadn’t he probably wouldn’t have stopped at all though, and that wasn’t good. He needed a clear head around Rian and that was a difficult task.
“What if I don’t want you to stop?” Rian asked, biting her lip.
Gerard closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and staring at her. “You’re not eighteen yet Rian.”
“I’m almost eighteen.” Rian replied, “And no one has to know.”
“So you don’t want me because I’m not old enough for you? Why will a few months make such a big difference?”
“In a few months I won’t feel like I’m violating you.” Gerard responded crudely. “You’re too young.”
Rian nodded and moved off of Gerard’s lap. He instantly regretted his words, and his erection wasn’t fading as quickly as he’d like.
“It wouldn’t make a difference to me.” Rian whispered, but she didn’t look at Gerard.
Gerard wanted Rian so badly, but he didn’t want to do something that was morally wrong… and taking her virginity right now would be wrong. He was sure of that.
“Don’t you want to like, wait for marriage and stuff?” Gerard asked, surprised with himself. He’d never cared about any of that, but he’d heard somewhere that it mattered. “Like remain pure for your future husband?”
“Only if you’re going to propose tonight.” Rian replied, completely surprising Gerard.
“Me?” Gerard choked out. “Us, marry?” He’d never thought it possible for him to marry someone.
“Well, who did you think I’d dream of marrying at this point?” Rian asked. This time she looked at him again, and Gerard was impressed with the look she had on her face. It was one of those ‘you’re the stupidest person alive’ looks. And he sure felt stupid.
“Me?” Gerard timidly asked.
“Yeah Gerard, you.” Rian answered. “You’d be cute in a church, standing waiting in your tux.” She closed her eyes and thought it over. “And you could carry me over the threshold of our home, bridal style- and make love to me constantly during our entire honeymoon, which could be anywhere since all that will really matter is the bed.” Rian opened her eyes and winked at Gerard suggestively.
Gerard was speechless, something that really only happened when Rian was around. “I would marry you.” He finally spit the words out, but his mouth had become dry.
“That’s a really sucky proposal.” Rian commented playfully.
Gerard laughed uneasily, “That’s because it’s not a proposal. Would you really marry me though?”
Rian gazed at Gerard for a few minutes before answering him. “I really would.”
“But you said you aren’t even sure if you love me yet.” He pointed out.
“I think love is something that you learn, not something that you just automatically have. It’s something that you work towards, and when you’re married… well, that’s the point.”
“You think people get married so that they can fall in love? I think you have it backwards.” Gerard laughed again.
“I think that maybe you do.” Rian replied confidently. “I think people get married when they feel something towards each other, and marriage just solidifies it. Love is something that constantly grows, feelings constantly evolve Gerard.”
“When did you turn in to a romance expert?”
“Since I got with you.” Rian cheekily replied.
“I’m your number one fan, you know that?”
Rian grinned widely, “I do, and I’m yours.”
Gerard nodded, “Maybe when you’re older I’ll propose… but for now I don’t want you all tied down, unless it’s to my bed.”
“Kinky.” Rian commented.
“You have no idea.” Gerard chuckled.
“So long as you don’t pee on me.” Rian rolled her eyes, “That is disgusting.”
Gerard laughed so hard that he started choking on air. “That is… not something I planned on doing. Care to tell me what brought that to mind?”
“The internet.” Rian replied with a shrug. “I’ve been reading some pretty weird articles lately.”
Gerard was the one to roll his eyes this time, “You’re going to get a virus on my laptop.”
“It’s got protection, right?”
Gerard just shook his head.
Rian ended up bringing the subject back to what they’d been talking about before virus’s and marriage. “I want to have sex before I get married Gerard.”
“Getting married is supposed to be exciting and fun and I don’t want to be too nervous to enjoy the whole thing. I don’t want to be worried about how much I’ll suck, or if it’ll hurt- and I don’t want to think about how embarrassing it could be. I want all of that out of the way.”
Gerard hadn’t ever really thought about it that way. “I’ve heard from a few girls that it hurts a little but I’ve never been with a virgin before.” He admitted. “And um, well it’s mostly the guys that do the work; a lot of girls are in to the missionary position- so yeah, the guys work for it and the girls just enjoy it. Men are too in the moment to notice any embarrassment you may suffer.”
Rian shrugged, “Is it so bad that I don’t want to wait?”
Gerard shook his head, “Well… no.”
“I don’t want to wait. Do you?”
Gerard laughed, “Honey, I’m far from a virgin.”
“I know that.” Rian responded, “Do you want me to wait?”
“Well right now I’ve got a throbbing erection that says no, but… I just don’t want you to hate me for taking something like this from you.”
“You aren’t taking anything.” Rian promised. “I’m giving it. I want you Gerard, and I want you to want me.”
“Oh baby, I want you.” Gerard answered. “But once I get started I won’t want to stop Rian, and even if it hurts- I still won’t stop.”
Rian nodded, but bit her lip. “I don’t want you to stop, I never did.”
That was all it took. Well that and Rian leaning forward to kiss Gerard again. The kiss was long and deep, with Gerard’s tongue exploring Rian’s mouth. She placed her hand on his lap tentatively and started massaging the bulge he had. He groaned and pushed his hips up which gave her the confidence to continue.
Gerard stood from the couch, bringing Rian with him. She felt a pulse of apprehension shoot through her, lighting her nerves on fire. She wanted Gerard, that much she was sure of… but the hesitation was still there. This was so new to her; she didn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of him.
Gerard kissed Rian again once they were standing and he blindly led her to his bedroom. Rian reached out and flipped the light switch off as they passed it. She wasn’t confident enough to have sex with the light on. It just seemed too… on display, in her opinion.
They had to stop kissing once Rian’s back hit the bed. Gerard joined her after quickly unbuttoning and pulling his jeans off. “The boxers.” Rian pointed out, with a sly grin.
Gerard chuckled, “Demanding already.”
Rian nervously turned away from him and pulled her shirt off first, after that came her jeans and under-clothing. Once she was completely nude she found the air tickling her, making her shiver. She turned back to see that Gerard was naked, and staring at her. The lust was there again, but she felt it too.
“Where do you want me baby?” Gerard asked, voice heavy.
“Right there.” Rian responded, as she pushed herself away from the bed. She craved Gerard’s touch but first… first she needed a small amount of experience. She just wanted to clearly see him, to touch him, and taste him.
Everything her father had called forbidden was right here in front of her, and she’d never wanted anything so badly before. She didn’t care if it was wrong, or morally indecent. With Gerard she felt whole, and now she wanted to feel /him/.
Gerard stood still as Rian approached him. She ran her soft fingers over his chest, feeling the lines in his body. Gerard trembled at her light touch, and his knees felt weak. He’d never known a woman to have this effect on him.
Rian was oblivious to the way she made Gerard feel, and her light touching continue. She traced tiny hairs and ridges on Gerard all the way down to his pubic hair, which was neatly trimmed. She let her eyes fall further down and rest upon something she’d thought was so ‘bad’ her entire life.
When Rian fell to her knees Gerard about had a heart attack. “R-rian, what are you-“ He shut up as her fingers lightly moved along his erection. She was touching him and it felt so damn good, he could barely stand still but somehow he managed.
“Can I taste you?” Rian asked innocently, as she gazed up at Gerard.
Gerard looked down at her and swallowed the lump in his throat, “Are you sure you’re new to this, because you’ve pushed every single one of my buttons so far.”
Rian giggled, “I’m new to it, but I want to do it right. Do I lick it?”
She was definitely pushing Gerard’s buttons, and he was inches away from orgasming just because of the look on her face, and the gentle way she was now holding his cock. It was all so dirty, and yet so innocent at the same time.
“Yeah.” Gerard couldn’t believe he was actually directing Rian when it came to ‘tasting’ his cock- as she so adorably put it. “Lick the tip.” Rian did. “Swirl your tongue.” She did. He moaned. “Okay, now more. Take a little more in to your mouth and suck lightly- oh and place your hand at the base. Good job, good girl.” Gerard moaned again.
Gerard fought the urge to thrust his hips forward and with another moan he knew he couldn’t hold back for much longer. “I need to fuck you now Rian, so as sexy as you are down there… I really need you up here baby.”
Rian twirled her tongue one last time before climbing to her feet in front of Gerard. She had tasted something salty, but other than that it was a musky taste of skin- and she kind of liked it, and the thrill she got from doing it with Gerard.
Gerard was the first to climb in to bed, and then he gestured to Rian. “Come here, you’re going to fuck me.”
Rian just nodded with uncertainty.
Gerard grabbed on to her once she was on the bed and he pulled her over his lap again. He found quickly that she was quite wet, not in need of any lube. Just in case he unceremoniously spit in to his open hand and lathered his cock in it. “What about a condom?” Rian inquired.
Gerard groaned, “I don’t have any right now. Mikey took them.”
Rian stared at Gerard with wide eyes, “So?”
“I’ll tell you when I’m going to cum and you’ll pull off of me, okay? It’s the pull out method. It’s um… fairly safe.” And Gerard was just mostly horny, and willing to tell Rian anything to get her to sleep with him.
Rian nodded eagerly, “Okay.”
Gerard gestured for Rian to move up a little. She did, which positioned her directly over his cock. “I want you to do it first.” He explained, “Then I’ll help, but first I want to make sure that you’re okay- and going at a pace that’s good for you.”
“Can I kiss you?” Rian asked.
Gerard nodded immediately, “Of course.”
Rian leaned forward and lightly kissed Gerard. He kissed back, keeping it simple and short. When Rian pulled away she was smiling. “Okay, I’m ready.” But she sounded nervous. “Are you ready?”
Gerard grinned, “I’m ready babe.”
Rian rested her hands on Gerard’s shoulders as she slowly lowered herself. She felt the tip of his erection as it poked in between her warm lips. Gerard closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and smiling encouragingly at Rian. She smiled back and continued to lower herself, where he could feel the reluctance from her body. It was short-lived and Rian was a champ as she pushed past it, gritting her teeth. Gerard saw the flash of pain across her face and he nearly pushed her away, finding that even he didn’t like it. Any pain was too much pain when it came to Rian, and he was very protective.
Rian groaned lightly as she sat upon Gerard, with his entire length inside of her. She felt full, which brought about a tender ache. The sharp stab that occurred when she pushed past her hymen had evaporated quickly however, making her fear dissipate. “Are you okay?” Gerard whispered, as he gently brushed away the strands of hair that had fallen free in front of Rian’s face.
She smiled at him, “I’m… full of you.” She joked, “That’s awkward to say.”
“It’s not awkward to feel.” Gerard answered as he moaned. “You feel so good, so warm, and so damn tight.”
“Do you think that we could try, uh missionary, you called it? I don’t think I’m ready for this.” Rian admitted, as her face became bright red.
Gerard chuckled, “Of course.”
Rian gingerly pulled off of Gerard, finding it kind of disappointing when he was out of her- and she was left feeling empty.
Gerard shifted so that he was over her, and Rian was laying beneath him. He started by lightly kissing her, first on her lips and then down her neck. Once Gerard reached Rian’s breasts he stopped to give them attention. Rian wasn’t prepared and let out a low moan as Gerard’s warm mouth engulfed her first nipple. He sucked it for a few brief seconds before lightly biting down. She moaned a little louder, but was still fairly quiet. When Gerard pulled away her nipple had hardened and was standing at attention. He gave her an appreciative nod before turning to her other nipple and giving it the same treatment.
Gerard then kissed down Rian’s stomach, before stopping due to the aching erection between his legs. “I really want to worship your body, and I will- but right now I need to finish fucking you.”
Rian nodded, breathlessly.
It only took seconds for Gerard to line himself up with Rian, and then he gazed in to her eyes as he pushed against her. He easily slid in, and once again Rian felt full- and she loved it. She closed her eyes, savoring the feeling.
Gerard took a moment to appreciate it as well before he started moving his hips. At first it was slow and gentle but soon enough he was quickly pounding in and out of her. All that was heard between them was heavy breathing, and Gerard’s moans. Rian was quiet, but Gerard already expected that and somehow even her silence was adorable.
As Gerard’s thrusts got faster Rian gained confidence and lightly pushed against his chest. Somehow he got the message and while he was still inside of her they shifted and turned, leaving Rian on top once again.
Rian rocked lightly at first, trying to get the hang of it. Then Gerard placed his hands on her hips and helped her. He thrust his hips as she rocked back and forth, which ended up feeling better for both of them.
Gerard still had motion, while still buried in Rian for the most part- and when she was on top he was able to get more of himself inside of her, or so it felt like to both of them.
Gerard couldn’t hold on for much longer and so he warned Rian. “I’m going to cum.” He breathed out heavily.
Rian was too caught up in everything she was feeling to pay him much attention, and Gerard was too overcome with bliss to even care.
It wasn’t even until after he’d orgasmed and pulled Rian off of his lap that he realized his mistake. Rian didn’t say anything as she cuddled against his side, mumbling something affectionate.
“Gerard?” Rian mumbled his name, as she peeked up at him. He wasn’t returning her affection, which pointed out that something was wrong but she’d completely overlooked their mistake.
“Yeah baby?” Gerard numbly asked.
“Did I… do something wrong?” Rian asked, in a small voice that immediately gained Gerard’s complete attention.
“What? No.” He smiled widely. “I’m just exhausted. Rian, that was a good fuck. Aren’t you at least a little tired?”
“Very.” Rian answered, “But I think I’m going to go shower before bed, and… when I come to bed I want to cuddle. You aren’t acting all that cuddly.”
“Oh, I’m going to cuddle.” Gerard promised. “Get your ass in the shower.” He teased.
Rian giggled as she crawled out of bed, moving slowly once on her feet. Gerard couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing that she was at least a little sore from their activity.
The chuckle immediately ended as his mistake resurfaced in his mind.