This next morning, I woke up with a humongous head ache. I worried for Edith all night. Her mom called later and told me to tell Edith that I should know.
Know what exactly? That's what worried me the most and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wish I kept an eye on her. While I was serving pie, all I rememeber was that Edith was talking to Gerard, Victoria, and the new guy Chris. After that, I started to hear screams and Edith was crying. Someone must have said something to make her cry.
But what is it that happened? I don't get it! I'm confused and worried.
"Harry?" I turn around to face Edith who is still laying down. I sit at the end of the bed with my head bowed.
"how long have you been awake?" I ask her and crawl over to her and lay.
"just now..." she has a groggy voice. I look at her worriedly and move the hair from her forehead.
"are you okay?"
"I'm okay now. I just.. Broke down yesterday."
"I know." I giggle nervously. She sits up and stands. She looks around and finds one of my t-shirts and puts it on.
"are you hungry?" I ask and walk over to her in the restroom.
"not really." she continues to brush her teeth.
"okay.." I walk back to my bed and lay closing my eyes.
After a moment of peaceful breathing, I feel a pair of arms hug my waist and I shoot my eyes open.
"your mom called." I say braking the silence.
"she said that.. I should know." she looks up at me and sighs.
"what does your mom mean?"
"Harry.." she sits up, "we need to talk.."
We both walk downstairs. There's silence between us as she brews coffee. She makes a cup for me and for her and we sit at the kitchen table.
"okay well I'm not sure how to start but it has to do with my past." she says. She sips her coffee and continues, "I moved to New Jersey when I was 15. I had lived in Los Angeles all my life. I'd have to admit I was pretty bummed about moving but whatever. Anyway, you don't really need to know how I met this guy but we started to date in high school. It was kind of love at first sight because I thought he was so cute from the minute I saw him and vice versa.." she giggles, "anyway, we became boyfriend and girlfriend when we got to know each other better. We had a great relationship. We were deeply in love. Or so I thought. He was the one who use to call me pretty girl."
"oh okay.. Now I get it.. But Hailey, are you sure you want to tell me?"
"I'm sure." I let her continue, "so we went out for a year. It was the best relationship I ever had when I was in high school. In fact, the only real one. But unfortunately, things happen sometimes and we had to brake up. Actually, we didn't have to but he wanted to because someone had told him I cheated. And he believed it. I was devastated. He broke up with me during the first performance of Swan Lake."
"wait what? So.. When you were missing.."
"yup.. I was in the parking lot with him. He was screaming at me horrible things and left me by myself in the parking lot crying my eyes out. I'll never forget that."
"Hailey I'm sorry.."
"oh that's not at all.." she laughs, "I tried talking to him about it but he still shut me out. And when I was in the airport leaving for Canada, I asked him to come but he refused to." she drinks her coffee and her eyes get watery.
"It was hard to forget him. He was my first love. I was always depressed. I tried dating but I couldn't. It was hard. Everyone reminded me of him. I didn't live happy in my teenage life. After him, I only dated two other guys and that's it. And that's when you came in. I decided to give you a chance because first of all, you caught my attention and second, I thought it was time for me to forget my past. I was sure I would never see him again. I didn't even think I was going to move to New York."
"wait, you were sure you were never going to see him again? Have you seen him again?"
"oh everywhere apparently. I still talk to his brother and best friend. He still talks to my best friend and mom. How can I not possibly see him."
I am a little afraid to ask but I ask anyway, "was he at the party yesterday?"
"yup." she says.
"who is he?"
"wait.. So you guys are friends?"
"but.. I'm confused.."
"what are you confused about?"
"he's your friend. He's your ex. I don't mean to be rude but where are you going with this story and who made you cry yesterday?"
"okay. He is my friend and my ex. We're trying to be friends. And he made me cry yesterday."
"why? What did he say?"
"well.." she inhales, "his ex is also Victoria. And he dated her before me. He said after her, he never loved anyone else like he loved her."
"and was that true?"
"no. He hated her after they dated. She was the one that broke us up because she was jealous."
"then why are they friends?"
"because they made up when I left. She admitted to him what she did and was sorry for doing it."
"that's stupid. Why be friends with the person that made you split with your lover?"
"I dont know.."
"so why did you start crying?" she sighs and her eyes start to water again.
"because I still love him." she cries. I lean back on my chair and shut my eyes. I feel a cold breeze flow through my body and it makes my heart ache.
"I'm so sorry.." she sobs.
"does he love you back?" I question not ready to hear the answer.
"yes.." she spits. I sit back up and stare at her.
"he's mad at me because I have a boyfriend. He's jealous and so he was trying to make me jealous. But instead it hurt me." she looks at me. I stare back but have nothing to say.
"I'm so sorry.." she repeats.
"it's okay.." I tell her. I stand up and go sit next to her..
"it happens. And.. It's not your fault because you guys stopped something when it wasn't suppose to happen. It's okay Hailey."
"no it's not!" she starts to sob in agony.
"no! Don't call me Eddie!" she screams standing up. She covers her face and grips her hair.
"why not? Everyone calls you that. Why can't I?"
"because! Ugh!!" she agonizes. She hits the wall with her fist.
"Edith.. Calm down."
"no!! I can't!!"
"why??" I question worriedly. Something's really bothering her.
"take deep breaths, come on." I encourage her. She does as I say and hugs me.
"I'm sorry.." she repeats again.
"why are you sorry?" she buries her face in my neck and in a low voice I hear, "I cheated."
"what?" I grab her shoulders and pull her away, "I cheated." she repeats.
"When I came to New York, we met up to talk. He found out I was in town and went to look for me at my mom's house. I had to stop running away from him. I had seen him quite a few times before that encounter but always tried to run. My mom encouraged me to just have a talk with him and settle down on being friend's. I gave up and agreed to do this so we went to his house. We had a long talk. We decided to stay friends but.. We missed each other so much. I noticed he started to flirt with me and.. I couldn't take it anymore. I really needed him and.. We kissed. And..." she tries to catch her breath while she cries, "we spent the night together." she says in a low voice.
I feel my body tense up and I let go of her stepping a few feet away.
"how long ago?" I am able to say as I hold back tears.
"about a month ago.." I chuckle to myself hysterically.
"wow.." I keep laughing and she looks at me confusedly.
"Harry.." I don't respond. I have stopped the laughing but now, I find myself walking to the door and I open it wide.
"Harry.." she says more sternly.
"yes Edith?" I smile.
"what are you doing?" she says nervously.
"what does it look like I'm doing? Or do you want me to spell it out for you.."
"Harry.." she starts to cry again. I can't laugh anymore and I can't hold any emotion anymore. I start to cry as well.
"I thought you loved me." I start to raise my voice.
"I thought you were different. You used me to forget your fucking boyfriend!"
"that's not what happened!" she steps closer.
"oh really? Then what! Huh? You even said it yourself. You wanted to let go of your past! Apparently you didn't do a very good job by looking for him!"
"you said you needed him Hailey! What the fuck does that mean huh? You wanted his fucking cock in you?? Is that how desperate you were?!"
"Shut up!!" she screams.
"then what Hailey?! Just get out. Please!" I cry.
"wait.." I say. I run upstairs and grab her filthy cloths.
"here. Get fucking dressed." I say and throw her cloths over the balcony. She slips her pair of jeans she has left here and walks out with my t-shirt and no shoes. She slams the door and I'm left alone in pain. I lean on the wall and slide down.
How could she have done this to me!! After all the love and support I gave her!
I start to think back a month ago and see if there's any mood changes I didn't catch. But I can't recall anything.
Then I remember that morning she came to me crying repeating the same thing. I'm sorry Harry. I'm sorry
"FUCK!!!" I scream and punch the wall creating a hole.
It was that day. That day! She had just come from his house and I kissed her filthy lips.
"ugh, how much time do I have to do this!?" I comment stopping my crunches.
"thirty more seconds. Come on you could do this!" Vicky encourages me.
"ugh!" I scream through gritted teeth and continue my crunches. Vicky has me on a strict diet helping me lose weight and gain my fit abs again.
"there!" she says and jumps.
"uuff!" I stop and breath heavily. Vicky walks over to the kitchen and fills up a glass of water. I hear a harsh knock on the door and get up.
"I'll get it." I announce. I look through the peep hole and see Edith. I wait before opening and remember I'm still pretty mad at her. But then she knocks harshly again and I decide to open.
One look at her and my heart brakes.
"Eddie!" I scream. She throws herself on me crying. I grip her tight to my body and stroke her back. I walk backwards and walk us both inside.
"what's going on?" Vicky says. She opens her eyes wide and steps back.
"shh!" I say. I walk Edith in my room and close my door.
"okay Edith, wait. You have to let go of my shirt." I say trying to make her sit but she won't let go of me.
"no Gerard! Don't leave me alone!" she cries.
"okay I won't. But.. Okay hold on." I pick her up and lay her down in my bed. She still grips my shirt as I try to kick off my shoes. I lay down with her and embrace her.
"want to tell me what's wrong?" I question after she has calmed down a little. She still sniffs and tries to catch her breath while still having a tight grip on my sweaty shirt.
"Harry broke up with me." she says.
"what." I question and look at her.
"how? why?" I babble. Although this should be my moment of victory, I can't help but feel sympathy for her.
"I told him about us." Now I start to get really worried. I sit us both up, "you what??"
"yes I did!" she yells, "because he had to know. I couldn't hide it from him any longer. Not after what happened yesterday."
"I'm so sorry Edith. This is all my fault." I hug her.
"not only yours. Jade brought it up and I'm sure he heard." she pulls away and looks into my eyes with bloodshot eyes.
"but it was mostly mine. I was buzzed and I was really mad that he was here. I'm so sorry Edith. I really am. If he makes you happy, I would do anything to help you get back together with him."
"thanks. But I don't think he still wants to."
"did you also tell him about.. Our night?"
"oh my god." I hug her once more.
"I'm so sorry." I repeat. I start to tear up as I remember the feeling I got when Victoria told me Eddie cheated. That was painful. I know how Harry feels right now and I feel really bad because I made it happen.
Stupid me, I swear.. I never want to drink again.
Eventually, Edith and I falls asleep hugging each other. I wake up to the sound of a phone coming from her pants. I move her aside to get it and find an unknown caller.
I decide not to answer.. You never know, it could be her boyfriend.
Then there's a message. So that, I do decide to read.
/where are you?!/
It's a text message from Annie. I set the phone down and gently wake her up.
"Edith?" I whisper. She struggles in her sleep and moves sideways. She mumbles Harry which brakes my heart and makes me angry.
"no Edith.. It's me, Gerard." she opens her eyes and smiles.
"what am I doing here?" she questions sitting up.
"you came to my house earlier and explained your problem to me.. Rememeber?"
"oh that's right.." she faces me but then lays back down curling into a ball.
"Harry broke up with me." she whispers.
"are you sure about that?" I ask desperately hoping she's right.
"yes. He kicked me out of his house."
"what?!" I grip my pillow. Now anger is flowing through my veins.
She looks at me and caresses my forearm.
"now don't do anything stupid. We don't want anymore problems.
"you're right.." I lay down. I inhale and close my eyes exhaling.
"do you want him back?"
"I dont know.."
"I know it's too soon to ask but.. What if we went back together Edith.." I ask risking everything. But.. It's worth a shot..
"I dont know Gerard. I don't want anymore problems. I don't want to think of a relationship right now."
"but.. There won't be any problems. We love each other."
"yes, I know but.. I just don't think we're right for each other anymore.." Those words tear me apart. Especially hearing it from her.
"why not?" I prop up on my elbow.
"we're adults now Gee. Things are different. I'm different. Things aren't like high school anymore."
I stay silent. I am too afraid to agree with her but she has a point. Things are different now.
"I'm really sorry Gee. But not now. Please understand." she moves in closer to me and wraps a leg and arm around me.
"why don't you give someone a try?" she says sweetly. I hug her closer to me and squeeze her arm.
"I dont know.. It won't feel right."
"well.. When you find the right person, it'll feel right."
But what you don't understand is that you're the right person.
I inhale and exhale. Things are just too complicated right now to even think of a relationship. I decide to change the topic as I can't stand talking about this.
"you're friend texted you." I say.
"oh really?" she sits up and checks her pockets.
"where's my phone?"
"it's right here." I pass it to her.
"I better get home." she says and gets off the bed.
"I'll go drop you off."
"alright." I turn on the lights and we both squint.
"where's Victoria?" she says looking into the mirror rubbing her eyes.
"I think she went to work."
"where are your shoes?" I ask looking at her bare feet.
"oh I came without them. Harry was just pushing me out."
"wow. What a douche." I comment and grab my keys.
"I'm really sorry of what happened." I tell her as we both step out of my car.
"it's okay. He was suppose to know sooner or later."
"I'm still sorry though. It was my fault."
"it was both of ours." she looks down at the ground. I just want to pull her in close to me and kiss her soft pink lips.
"listen Gerard, even if I do or don't get back with Harry, I just think we have to try staying friends. No sharing small kisses or sweet hugs or anything of that. It's unhealthy for both of us."
It takes all I've got, even with a shattered heart to agree.
"okay. I understand." I grip my lips.
"thank you Gerard." she says and steps on her tippy toes to give me a hug. I hug her tight, as it might be the last sweet and lustful hug I'll ever give her.
"goodnight. And thanks for everything" she says stepping inside.
"you're welcome." I say and watch her go in.
I silently cry on my way home and listen to David Bowie on the radio. Me? Try to not show her my love? That's like saying, try to survive without food! That's impossible! No one can ever do that.
My love for her is ever-lasting and a unforgettable. Like an obsession.
@brutualcrayon omg, you're in for a surprise ;) thank you! Hope you liked this chapter! Umm, I'll see if I could post a pic but he just has short like... When he had the photoshoot with the priest shirt and leather jacket. Hopefully you've seen it lol.
@killjoyMCRmy omg xD I found it weird that you and others thought Harry was cheating lol. I was like what?! :O we'll see what happens later ;) thank you anyway!!
You guys I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. I forgot lol. I'll try to post twice today.. Or tomorrow. To make it for you lovely readers ;3