I wake up in the middle of the night. I shiver in my sleep because I don't have a blanket over me. I open my eyes and find the blanket moved aside and Emma isn't next to me anymore. I sit up and rub my eyes. I hear the sound of the TV and step outside. I stand by the door and find Emma with Chow Weenie, our other chihuahua.
"why are you up so late?" she questions taking a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.
"I should ask you the same." I walk over to the living room and sit on the other couch. She doesn't respond. We continue to watch infomercials on TV about lonely pets in animal shelters. How ironic that is, we got Chow Weenie from watching one of these commercials.
She suddenly turns the TV off and I turn around to look at her.
"hey, I was watching that." I laugh.
"we need to talk." she says and moves the blanket aside. Chow Weenie jumps off the couch and goes into his room where he shares with the others. I get up and lay next to Emma. I cover us with the blanket and make us comfortable. She strokes me hair while she softy starts, "we need to talk about what I told you. It's been 8 years and no one knows but my parents and Edith."
"why does she know? I mean, no offence but.."
"because I tried telling her ones when we were 16. But I couldn't since it really hit me. I was gonna tell you one day when I realized I thought I needed to tell Edith first since I tried telling her a long time ago. I also needed someones opinion so I told her."
"a couple of weeks ago."
"okay, go on."
"well, this happened a long time ago. I was 9 years old and ever since, I've had a hard time dealing with this fear." she says and her voice starts to get groggy. I find her hand under the covers and squeeze it.
"I had a babysitter when I was 9. This babysitter would pick me up everyday from school and help me on my homework, feed me, play with me, she was my best friend at the time. Her name was Eve. I remember I admired her beauty. I wanted to be exactly like her. And she also had a boyfriend. Her boyfriend's name was Ricky. Eve was 19 and he was 22. And I remember I thought they were the cutest couple. I wanted a relationship like theirs. They both treated me very nice and with a lot of care.
I grew close to Ricky. He was like my big brother. He played with me hide n' seek. He sang to me sometimes while I was going to sleep. Read books to me, Bought me stuff. I was really happy.
Till one day, Eve took me to her house after school. She lived with her boyfriend. I remember I was watching a movie in her living room when he called me over. He was in his room so I went in the room and found him on his laptop.." I squeeze her hand harder and harder each time her voice starts getting groggy and she sobs even more. She struggles under me and I get up. She sits up and coughs catching her breath.
"you don't have to go on Emma.." I tell her. She looks like she's about to puke.
"no I have to. It'll only help our relationship."
"fine." she sits back and picks her legs up siting in criss-cross.
"he was on his laptop and called me over to sit with him and watch this movie he was watching. I looked at the screen but had no idea what was going on. But as the years past, I started to realize what I was watching was porn."
was porn/] repeats in my head as I shut my eyes and cry silently. I grab her hand and squeeze it not believing what I just heard.
"where was Eve that she couldn't have stopped this?!"
"she was out. And told me Ricky would take care of me." she sobs.
"that bastard!!" I scream. She grabs my hand tight, "calm down, please.. Let me finish." I take deep breaths and sit calmly biting my lower lip till it bleeds.
"I asked what it was. He just said it was one of his favorite movies. Since I didn't know what it was, he asked me if he could demonstrate. Since I didn't know what was going on, I agreed." I shut my eyes again and cover my mouth squeezing my lips. I want to cry and scream my lungs out and hug my MJ tight to me asking her to forgive me. For wanting her to have sex with me when she wasn't ready because of this horrifying reason.
"I was shocked and scared when he started to take his cloths off. I remember looking at his member not knowing what it was since I wasn't familiar with such thing. But again, I realized it was his penis and he was really horny. That thing was bobbing up and down. He asked me to touch it. I did so but was too innocent to say no. I was curious. He then told me to show him mine but I told him I didn't have the same as he. He then said, [/let me check for you. I thought he was a doctor so I let him! I slipped down my skirt and he picked me up laying me on the bed. And he.. Touched me! He entered his finger in me!" she sobs loud in agonizing pain. I let out a whimper and cry with her. I hug her tight to me as she cries and cries.
"I'm so sorry Emma. I'm so sorry.." I sob. I look up at my ceiling and scream not caring about my neighbors. She looks at me in the eyes and kisses me gently. I can feel her cheeks burning and wet because of the sweat and tears. She lets go and rests her forehead on mine as I have a tight grip on her cheeks.
"Eve came in in that instant. She started to scream at him and until then I realized what he was doing was wrong. She called the police and my parents came and it was all just a huge mess. There was questioning and crying and my mom throwing stuff at this guy. It was horrible. It wasn't on the news or the papers. My parents paid a huge load of money so it won't be publicized. That's why no one knows.
After that huge mess, I never heard from him or Eve ever again." she cries softly in my arms. From all the screaming and sobbing, Arthus comes out and cries with us at our feet. I pet him gently with my foot and he scratches Emma's calf as if he were petting her.
"I'm sorry Emma, If I would have known this, I wouldn't have ever touched you. Never would have questioned you, never would have gotten mad, never would have even lusted over you. I would have respected you more than what I already do. I'm so sorry. So sorry." I sob. She looks up at me crying, "no Frank. Believe it or not, even though I wasn't comfortable sometimes, I appreciate it because I thought everyone could see right through me. I thought if people knew what happened, no one would ever want to be my friend or I would never get a boyfriend who loves me and actually wants to have sex with me no matter what's my past. I was afraid you'd be like that if I told you."
"no Emma, never. The only reason why I would never have sex with you is because I'd think I would probably die from so much excitement and beauty that's hovered over me. But the reason why I didn't have sex with you is because you weren't ready. And I respect and understand how special and hard it is for a girl to lose their virginity. Us guys is different. But for girls, I understand. That's why I wanted our day to be special and to be when you want it. That's why I never forced you. And trust me, it's been hard." I chuckle nervously, "but now all I want more than anything is for our wedding night to be special." I grab her hand and kiss it as her smile widens.
"oh I love you Frank Iero." she squeals and hugs my neck tightly.
"I love you Emma Jayliem, pretty soon you'll be Emma Iero."
She squeals in my ear pretty loud but I don't care. All I want is for my MJ to be happy and comfortable with me.
"now promise me Emma, that you won't be afraid of me. Ever. Not even when I touch you. Not saying that I will but.. Just saying."
"I promise Frank. I feel so much better now that I told you. Thank you for understanding and loving the real me."
"you're welcome marshmallow. I'll love you till I die. I promise." I let go to look at her and kiss her with so much love that is exploding inside me at this very second. We continue kissing as she pushes me down and lays on me.
"I love you so much." she whispers.
"I love you too MJ." I kiss her nose and close my eyes. She rests her head on my chest and breathes in calmly. Just her sweet touch on my skin and the sweet smell in her hair makes me sleepy and I soon fall asleep as the sun rises and the morning light hits my eyes.
"wake up! It's past noon!!" I hear someone knock harshly. I shoot my eyes open and find Emma still sound asleep in my arms.
"Emma, wake up!" I whisper loudly. She moves in her sleep and then falls on the ground still not waking up.
"ugh shit." I say and jump over her to answer the door.
"alright I'm coming!" I scream. I open the door and find the band standing outside.
"what do you guys want." I say rubbing my eyes. Ray looks past me with furrowed eyebrows.
"why is Emma on the floor half naked?"
"AHHH!" everyone yells and starts to smack my shoulders.
"someone got laid yesterday!" Mikey and Matt yell.
"no you guys, that's not what it is." They all enter my house. I close the door and turn around to find everyone gathered around my kitchen and Gerard poking Emma.
"damn, she's sound asleep." he says. I walk over to him while he shakes Emma awake. She opens her eyes.
"eww! Get off me!" Emma says and Gerard moves his legs from standing over her.
"you know it's past noon?!" he laughs.
"shut up vampire, go get a tan!" she yells and enters the restroom. She's always grumpy when she wakes up.
"so what happened last night?" Gerard questions as he takes a beer from Mikey who came our way and sits.
"nothing you guys should worry about."
"come on man, there's no secrets between us! Right Gerard?!" Ray sits next to Gerard and smacks his shoulder.
"right.." he answers nervously, "anyway, what happened?"
"I didn't get laid but Emma and I had a talk which is very personal and we have decided no one should know. It was actually her idea though." they all nod and don't question it any longer.
"alright then, that's fine. Anyway, ready to go?" Ray says clasping his hands.
"ahh shit, gig. Umm.. I dont know.."
"what?!" Mikey yells.
"come on!! All the girls will be there today!" Gerard pleads.
"really? Including Edith?"
"oh.. Okay well.. I kinda wanted to spend time with Emma.."
"well she can tag along." Ray says.
"hmm.." I look over to at the restroom, "fine.. I'll ask her."
"Kay great." they all start to chat about something else when Emma comes out of the restroom and I follow her in the room. I close the door behind me and smile.
"how are you feeling?" I ask cautiously.
"great. So I have a gig tonight, want to come?"
"sure. What time?"
"5 till midnight."
"okay. That's cool, I heard something about the girls going?"
"Edith's going with Harry?"
"hmm, weird." she laughs.
"okay, I'm gonna go talk with the guys."
"okay." she smiles. She comes closer to me and plants a kiss on my lips.
"I love you Frank."
"I love you too Emma." I grab her waist and kiss her once more.
I smile letting go of her lips and step outside.
"whoo!!" I scream stepping backstage where the girls wait for us.
"whoo!!" Emma, Edith, Christa, Jade, and Vicky yell and embrace all of us. Edith hugs everyone one of us and lastly hugs Gerard where they step aside from the group and talk privately.
"you were great baby!" Emma says kissing my face.
"thank you. You look good just standing there." I wink at her.
"that was bomb dude, I like the riff you did." I tell Ray who shakes out his sweaty hair.
"I know, first time I've tried it. Been working on it all week man!" he laughs hysterically and high fives me. Matt gives us a heads up towards Edith and Gerard and we turn around to face them. He has her in his arms and they slowly lean in for a kiss.
"doesn't she have a boyfriend." Jade states drinking water.
"yeah. ahem." I cough. But they don't let go. She finally pulls away and hugs him sweetly. They hug like if they were two best friend's falling in love. Gerard holds her but not by the waist like he use to but in her mid back and shuts his eyes. They finally notice we're staring and start to laugh. They let go of each other and walk over to us.
"what was that?" I ask.
"I dont know.." Edith says and looks at him.
"something's fishy.." Ray says and walks over to them.
"like what?" Edith questions with a fake smile.
"I dont know.. Somethings up and I can't quite put my finger on it." he walks away tapping his lip and stands next to Christa again.
"anyway, let's go have some beers." Gerard says and we all follow him out the backstage door.
We all sit at a table and watch the next band perform as we each drink beer. We laugh and chat as we tell old jokes and new funny stories that happened to us guys in the band.
As time passes, I start to realize Edith doesn't check her phone as often anymore and doesn't smooch with Gerard as much. I tap Gerard on the shoulder and whisper, "what's up with you and Eddie?"
"nothing. Why?" he whispers back.
"nothing. Never mind." I decide not to question it. It's not the right time and maybe they might be hiding something from us but it doesn't matter anymore, as long as we're all happy.