Categories > Original > Humor
Assembly
5 ReviewsI wrote this last night, half asleep
The bell rang, dismissing class. The halls were silent for
3...
2...
1.
Everyone burst out of classrooms and flooded their way into the hall, pushing and shoving like in the manner of wild animals in a nature documentary.
Jennifer Flores slunk out of her classroom, hood up, looking at the ground, her hands holding onto the straps of her backpack. As she walked, she pulled out her phone and began texting.
Are you ready?
Her friend Isay Miranda (Miranda to all you peasants) replied within half a second.
No, fuck off
Jennifer sighed. The assembly was starting in 15 minutes, or right after this passing period. The surprise had to be perfect, everything had to go well.
well hurry up! she shot back.
She made her way to the cafeteria where her blood gang was meeting up. Blood gang meaning her group of friends. They were sitting at the table in the corner, and Jennifer made her way over.
"Where's Bob?" she asked immediately, referring to her sexy boyfriend.
Her friends Panic! At The Disco shrugged collectively.
"I think he's helping set up shit in the stage," Brendon offered.
Jennifer facepalmed. "Okay, well, why aren't you guys back there yet?"
"There are teachers guarding all the back entrances," Spencer said. (Mmm Spencer is smexy okay sorry yeah the author will now butt out)
Jen summoned her friend Jasmine.
"JASMINE I FOUND FRANK!"
A wild Jasmine appeared. "WHERE IS THAT GUY I'M GONNA DO EVIL THINGS TO HIM-"
"Jasmine shut up you're in love with him you've been in love with him since fifth grade."
"Yeah, but he messed up my History project! It has dicks all over it!"
"Okay. I need you to create a diversion in the band room, because that's the only student entrance to the stage, and there's a bunch of teachers guarding it."
Jasmine saluted, and was on her way.
Jennifer quickly stood up. "Okay, now we follow her. To the band room, guys."
--------
They all arrived at the band room, which was completely empty of people.
"Jasmine," Jennifer started, "How did you do that?" She stared in both wonder and horror, because it must have been nasty.
Jasmine smiled. "Trade secret!" Then she skipped away. "Oh," she called out, "I'm looking forward to our assembly today, Jen."
----------
Jennifer and Panic! arrived backstage, where some of Jennifer's friends were working on everything that was supposed to go down in eight minutes.
"Jennifer, I think I'm in love with Frank," Ellie said in a rush, right next to Jen.
She screamed, because Ellie hadn't been there a second ago.
"But Jasmine loves him too and she seems cool and what do I do I don't wanna hurt her feelings-"
"We'll sort this out later, come on."
Everyone began walking over to Miranda, who was fixing up some stuff for the band. As they were walking, Sam popped out of the ground.
"Sam!" Jon cried.
"Jon!" Sam cried.
They ran towards each other, slow motion romantic movie style, and landed in a heap on the ground.
"I love your hair, Sam!" could be heard.
"I love your mad bass skillz, Jon!" could also be heard.
Jen and the rest of Panic! At The Disco resumed walking towards Miranda.
"When did that happen?" she asked as they neared her, referring to the Jom lovefest.
Jennifer replied, "Actually... I don't know. Aww. I ship it."
Miranda smiled. "Me too." She looked at the faces around her. "Well, I've got everyone's instruments tuned and ready, and the mic system is gonna work, but Lauren needs to be in the office really soon."
Jennifer texted Lauren. are u in the tech office yet????
It was several moments before, yeah, im all set.
don't tell me u brought patrick in there
Patrick was her new boyfriend. He was a transfer student but he and Lauren had hit it off immediately.
There was no reply yet.
LAUREN STOP MAKING OUT WITH UR BOYFRIEND
U CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Jennifer looked back up. Miranda was handing the instruments to each member of Panic! (including Jon, he and Sam had broken apart and now she was helping Shayla help Bob) but when she got to Ryan, she hesitated.
"Hello, Ryan," Miranda said coolly.
"Hello, Miranda. So. We meet again. I never thought I would run into you ever again, especially after you pretty much ditched me."
Miranda's cheeks grew red. "Well, I'm sorry. I just never wanted you to know what was behind the mask. Here's your guitar, the D string is tuned to C sharp for Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks." She thrust the guitar into his hands and ran away, leaving many people very confused.
"Ryan, who was that?" Brendon asked.
Jennifer's eyebrows knit together. "That's my friend Miranda. I'll go see what's up." She followed Miranda into a storage room.
"What happened?" Brendon pressed Ryan.
Ryan had a flashback.
/"Would you like to dance?" he asked. The petite girl in front of him uncrossed her arms and smiled.
"Okay."
They danced and danced, until they ran out of the school gym and into the empty hall, giggling like mad.
Standing outside the door, he kissed her.
Smiling, she took off her mask. "I'm Isay, but call me Miranda."
Ryan took off his mask. "I'm Ryan."
The color drained out of Miranda's face, and she stumbled backwards.
"Whoa, are you okay?" Ryan asked.
She shook her head and ran back into the gym. Ryan followed in pursuit, but he had already lost her in the crowd./
"Well?"
"It was nothing."
-------
"Miranda, what's happening?" Jennifer asked.
"Remember the masquerade-themed dance last month?"
Miranda had a flashback.
/"Would you like to dance?" he asked. The tall, lanky boy in front of her smiled and held out his hand. Miranda uncrossed her arms and smiled as well.
"Okay."
They danced and danced, until they ran out of the school gym and into the empty hall, giggling like mad.
Standing outside the door, the mystery boy kissed her, and she forgot her heartaches.
Smiling, Miranda took off her mask. "I'm Isay, but call me Miranda."
He took off his mask. "I'm Ryan."
The world spun and Miranda stumbled backwards. Here was her heartache, standing right in front of her.
"Whoa, are you okay?"
She couldn't respond, so she ran back into the gym, and didn't see him again./
"Jen, I've been in love with him for seven years, and until that dance, he had no goddamn clue who I even was!"
Jennifer hugged her best friend as she cried. "Shh, it'll be okay. Don't cry." Miranda eventually quieted down.
"Okay, M, let's go force abstinence upon our school."
--------
The assembly began.
"GOOOoooooooOOOOOOD moooooOOOOOrnING Carroll High School!" Mr. Terry announced on the mic. "Today, we have a guest speaker who will talk to you about respecting your peers..." he droned on and on. Jennifer groaned inwardly.
"It's not like these ever make a difference," she whispered to Miranda.
They were seated in the front row closest to the stage. The curtains were still closed, but were supposed to open soon, after the introduction which was in
3...
2...
1.
The lights shut off. Some students screamed high pitched screams.
"Now, students, no need to panic-" the principal's mic cut off.
Eerie orchestral music began playing through the loudspeakers. The students' murmuring increased.
A video began projecting on the closed curtains. It was gruesome, and depicted scenes like fingers getting chopped off, needles sewing thread through flesh, or limbs being ripped off.
Students screamed again.
Once everyone was quite scared, a whisper was heard over the speakers. Brendon's voice.
"We're Panic! At The Disco."
The curtains flew apart right as a very loud guitar riff began. Lights flooded the dark auditorium, and the band launched into Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks.
"The fuck?" was heard from a lot of students.
Everyone was silent through the song, and when it ended, nothing happened. (That was expected.)
Ryan cleared his throat over the mic. Every head turned towards him.
"Hey guys, you might have seen me around here, I go to this school."
There were a few whispers, among them being "Hey, I know that kid," or "He's cute," or "He's another one of those emo faggots, right?"
"Well," Ryan said, "I have a few things to tell you. One, abstinence is the only way."
Jennifer heard a small gasp from Miranda.
"And two, Isay Miranda Zarae, I'm in love with you."
Everyone went "aww," and Miranda just covered her mouth, her eyes shining.
---------------
Jennifer, Miranda, and Sam were sitting on a bench, watching the sun turn the sky orange and red and yellow. After the assembly and the incident, everyone had hurried off the stage, and Jen and Miranda had snuck back to meet up with everyone.
The principal yelled at them a little bit, but had to relent because he was a huge Panic! fan.
Miranda and Ryan made up, kissed a little, and the band left. Sam and Jon did more of their weird shiz. Jennifer and Bob looked on proudly. Lauren and Patrick retreated to some sort of janitor's closet.
But back to Jennifer and Miranda and Sam. Life seemed pretty good. Nothing was happening in that moment but the sunset.
"Jennifer?"
"Mmm?"
"What was the point of doing all that stuff earlier?"
"I... don't really even know."
what the fuck did I just write
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