"I can’t shake the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can feel that he won’t be safe. He won’t ever be safe unless I protect him with my life."
“My father escaped from the police and he hasn’t been seen since...” Tears glaze over Gerard’s eyes.
“It’ll be okay...I’m here to protect you if he decides to come back.” I try to be reassuring.
Gerard shakes his head. “What if he hurts you too?”
“He won’t.” I wrap my arms around Gerard and hold him close.
“How do you know that?”
I don’t respond, but I hold him closer.
After a few minutes he sighs. “Mother says that I should go back home.”
“Why?” I bite my lip.
He shrugs. “She said it’s best that we’re all together right now. I guess I have to.”
I can’t bring myself to say anything else but I kiss his cheek. “I’ll help you pack up.”
I watch as Gerard walks down the driveway and keep watching until he is out of view. I can’t shake the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can feel that he won’t be safe. He won’t ever be safe unless I protect him with my life.
When I get inside the house, mother runs to greet me. “Oh Gerard I’ve missed you!” She exclaims.
“Haha yeah I’ve missed you too.” I try to sound convincing and give my best fake smile. Mother then wraps her arms around me. I return the embrace as best I can but I can feel my anger towards her radiating off of my skin.
When mother finally pulls away from me, Mikey is there. We just look at each other for a while, before he hugs me. My arms find their way around his body and I hug him tightly. "I've missed you, little bro."
"I've missed you too, Gee." Mikey sniffles and kisses my cheek.
"We should all stay together from now on, Gerard. No more staying over at Raymond's house."
I groan and pull away from Mikey to face mother again. "Why?" I ask.
"It is best that we all stay together as a family during this hard time. Your father is missing. This whole situation is hard on all of us."
I snort. "Well I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm glad he's gone."
Mother gives me a cold glare and turns to the kitchen. "Michael come help me with dinner. Gerard go to your room."
Mikey nods and follows after her. I roll my eyes and walk down the stairs to my room. I slam the door behind me and sigh. I wish I had just stayed at Ray’s house.
We are all pretty quiet during dinner. I think mother can tell that I’m still pretty pissed off with her.
“Gerard I know you’re angry, but you have to get over this-”
I roll my eyes and cut her off. “Get over what? The fact that I got raped by my own father? I can’t just get over that!” I stand up.
“Gerard Arthur Way please sit down and stop making a scene.”
“Oh shut up. You think that now that he ran away everything will just magically be okay? Newsflash mom, it’s not okay!” My whole body shakes in anger.
“Don’t you dare tell your mother to shut up.”
“He’s been raping me since I was eight and you didn’t do anything to stop it! Why didn’t you stop him!?” Tears roll down my face.
“I have my reasons, Gerard.” I cannot believe how she can stay so calm.
“You let him rape your son! You fucking bitch! You let him hurt me!” I throw my plate off of the table and storm down the stairs crying. “Fuck you, Donna!” I scream and slam my door.
I wake up to the loud ring of my cell phone. “Hello?” I rub my eyes and try my best to sound awake.
“Hello Raymond, it’s Gerard’s mother.”
“Oh, hi. Is everything okay?” I ask.
“No, it really isn’t...” She sounds concerned and takes a deep breath before speaking again. “Gerard had a big fit last night...I haven’t seen him since he left the table at dinner.”
A big lump forms in my throat and I try to swallow it down. “I’ll call his cell phone. Don’t worry, Mrs. Way.”
“Thank you so much.” She says.
"It's no problem at all." I respond and hang up. I quickly dial Gerard’s number and bite my lip as the phone rings. No answer. I call a second time. Still no answer. I leave a message on the third try.
“Gerard...please pick up the phone. I promise I won’t tell your mother where you are. I just need to know that you’re safe. Please, Gerard...I love you...” Tears fill my eyes as I hang up. I know something bad is going to happen, I can feel it. I redial Mrs. Way’s number.
“Did you find him? Is he okay? Oh god please tell me he’s okay.” Mrs. Way is in hysterics.
“I didn’t get an answer...” I say hoarsely.
“Oh god...oh god...” Mrs. Way is crying.
I sigh. “I’m sorry.” I hang up and bury my face in the palms of my hands. I cry as hard as I can. A few minutes later my phone rings and I look over at it. It’s a new text. I grab my phone and go to the message. My whole body goes numb as I read the text from Gerard:
The world will be better if I'm not a part of it. So long.