"mom! Come help me!" I scream as I try to get in my wedding gown. This gown was especially made for me and has beautiful gems on it that makes the dress pretty heavy.
"hold on honey!" I hear her say. I try to stretch my arms behind my back to zip it up. I can no longer reach so I sit and wait.. Impatiently.
I can't believe the day is already here. The day of my wedding. It's finally here! Finally I'll become Linda Chester.
"okay I'm here." my mom comes in the room putting her earrings on. She reaches for the zipper and zips it up. I look at myself in the mirror and can't wait to be at the ceremony walking down the aisle to the hands of my lover.
"you look beautiful darling."
"thank you mom." I turn around and hug her tight as I cry silently. My bedroom door opens and in comes Mrs. Chester with Blessing.
"hello Linda." she greets.
"oh my goodness.." I cry and grab Blessing. She's wearing such a beautiful dress that looks like mine. Mrs. Chester saw my dress a week ago and loved it so much, She went out to buy a similar one for Blessing.
"you both look so cute." she comments as she stands by mom who observes me and Blessing.
"thank you Mrs. Chester." I walk to her and hug her fragile frame.
"here, I want you to wear this." she lets go of me handing out a little box. I open it and find a beautiful necklace with a white pearl surrounded by little diamonds.
"when I married Henry's Father, his mother gave me this necklace. She told me to keep it till my son or daughter gets married and pass it down to them. I didn't have a daughter to pass it down to but I want you to keep it. And then later pass it down to Blessing when she marries. This necklace has been passed down for many generations and it's very fragile so be careful."
"thank you so much. This is beautiful." I hug her again as she sheds a tear.
"I will take care of this like it's my own life. I want Blessing to have this as well. Thank you."
"you're welcome honey. You're so beautiful." she caresses my cheek.
"thank you." my phone starts to ring.
"hey." I answer. It's Henry calling.
"I want to see you." he says.
"you know we can't do that! It's bad luck!"
"I know, but I need to tell you something personally."
"outside in the garden. But we won't look at each other."
"fine. I'll be right out."
"okay." I hear the line end. I put my phone down and explain to my mom and mother-in-law what Henry wants to do. Mrs. Chester gets a mischievous smile and says, "wish you both the best. My prayers are with you." I smile and leave.
I walk carefully in the garden, being careful I don't trip and get my dress dirty. He text messaged me saying to meet up by the big old tree that sits on the old hill. One of the reasons we bought this house was for this beautiful old tree that sits on the hill with a beautiful view of the city. He said to face north, towards the city. So I walk slowly and stand there with my eyes closed waiting for what's to come.
I hear a leaf crack and footsteps and I know it's him.
"are you there?" he says.
"yes." I reply. I slightly turn around and notice his back also leaned on the tree. So I turn back around and look over the city.
"my mother told me about this old tradition that her mom taught her and her grandmother taught her mom. She said on her wedding day, her and my dad met up by a huge tree by her house, each facing different directions back to back. They held hands and prayed for their wedding to be a beautiful one without regret. I also want a long lasting, full of love marriage with you Linda. Because I love you. I never want to leave your side."
I cover my mouth and let out a little whimper as his words touch my heart. I reach with my right hand behind me and find his.
"thank you, Henry. For being such a beautiful husband."
"thank you, for being the wife I always wanted." his voice sounds groggy. He squeezes my hand tight, and starts the prayer silently..
"amen." he ends. I open my eyes again and the morning 11am sun shines in my eyes.
"amen." I repeat after him.
"now, if you want, I'll leave right now so you won't have to worry about me looking at you."
"okay." I agree. He squeezes my hand once more and I hear the leaves crackle as his footsteps fade away. I turn around again and see him gone before I make my way back to my room.
I walk in my room, and find Mrs. Chester crying silently. I approach her and give her the most loving hug I can ever give anyone.
"thank you, for the tradition."
"you're welcome honey." she cries. We then let go and finish getting ready before it's time for me to go.
The girls and I act like high school girls going to prom as we get ready in my house. It's so much fun! I miss how much it is to dress up with friends. It's exactly like high school all over again.
"are you girls finished?" Harry comes in the room for what seemed to be his 6th time. He's been waiting in the living room for a while now since he is our ride over there.
"no dammit!" I yell and throw him a pillow. He blocks it with his forearm and comes in the room.
"what are you girls waiting for? I'm tired of waiting! You guys are just sitting around!" and it's true, we're all just sitting around in our dresses drinking Emma's wine.
"we're waiting for Emma to finish." I reply.
"oh whatever. Hurry up Emma. I want to leave!"
"can you wait? My make up has to be perfect." she continues to fix her eyeliner.
Victoria's phone starts to ring and she answers stepping out into the balcony.
"okay well, while we wait, how about I take a picture of you girls since all of you look so perfect today."
Like high school girls, we all giggle and pose while we wait for Victoria to come back in the room. She clicks her phone and poses next to me while Harry takes a picture with his phone.
"perfect. Now someone take a picture of me and Edith."
"aww!" they all say and Emma takes his phone. I walk to Harry and pose next to him while everyone else gangs around Emma.
"it came out nice." Christa comments laying back down on my bed. Harry looks at the picture nodding and puts his phone away.
"okay well Gerard called and wants to know what time we're going. They're all there already." Victoria says.
"let's go now then." Emma says.
"finally!" Harry yells and steps out of the apartment. We all slip on our heels and follow Harry downstairs.
We get to the reception after about 20 minutes. And Gerard was right, everyone is here but the bridesmaids. We walk in and we all scatter around as the girls go to their boyfriends and I stay behind, keeping Harry company. I watch Ray and Christa hug and compliment each other while Mikey and Jade talk silently and Emma, Frank, Gerard, and Vicky take pictures.
"the decoration is very nice." Harry comments looking around.
"I know, they did a very good job."
"hey hey, look who's here." a guy comes around. Particularly Chad.
"what's up Chad." him and Harry shake hands.
"I don't think you quite introduced me to miss Edith Lynn over here Harry."
"oh I'm sorry, Edith is my girlfriend."
"I sure noticed that from all the feistiness there was in rehearsals. You're quite the jealous guy Harold."
"yes, guilty as charged."
"how did you get with the famous Edith, Harry?"
"famous?" I laugh.
"yes, I know a lot of your work. You were the ballerina for AV ballet right?"
"you can say that." I laugh.
"well it was a pleasure to work with you Edith."
"thank you, you too."
In the distance, I see Jade calling me so I leave Harry and Chad to talk amongst themselves.
"come on, all the couples are taking pictures. Only you and Gee are missing." she says holding up her professional camera..According to her. I look at Gee who half smiles.
"okay." I agree and go stand next him. He places a fragile hand on my lower back while I hold a bouquet of flowers.
"very nice." she says with a grin. I look at Gerard who immediately looks away and walks to Victoria.
"wait." I call after him. He stands there and turns around slowly.
"why are you ignoring me?" I say loudly and furiously. The others hear and back away slowly leaving us two alone.
"yes. I said I was sorry for what happened."
"I know, and I forgive you. But I rather keep my distance. I'm not looking forward to getting my ass kicked again."
"fine, I understand but he's not going to do anything to you. He better not today at least. It's a wedding. He has to understand that I have to be with you for today." he looks at me with a straight face and then at Harry who's too distracted to notice this argument.
"fine." then after a second, he smiles so I smile back.
"want to get a drink before the ceremony starts?"
"sure." I agree. We walk down the aisle and this, Harry notices.
"where are you going?" he yells.
"to get a drink, I'll be back."
"okay." he turns back around and continues his conversation with Chad.
The ceremony has just started and Linda is walking down the aisle. I observe Henry who sheds a tear at the view of Linda. You've got to admit, she's the most prettiest tonight. The most extravagant. It's her night, she deserves it.
"we're here today to unite this couple.." the preacher starts. I watch Linda who seems to be extremely full of joy. And then I look at Emma, who's across from me, staring at Henry and Linda. She has a sweet smile on.
And then I imagine, my wedding with Emma. How I will stare into her eyes and repeat, "I do."
Oh man, I can't wait. She's going to look so beautiful. I can't wait for her expression when I propose to her. I've already searched online for engagement rings. It's going to be so rad. I have this obsession to propose to her during an MCR gig or something. If only Gerard could agree to sign up for a record label. And if so, I will propose to her in our first big concert. That's my dream. If only Gerard can agree to that.
"you may now, kiss the bride." everyone stands and claps as Linda and Henry share their first wedding kiss. In the distance, I can see Blessing smile and clap. I'm sure she can see how happy her parents are. That's the cutest thing ever. The chimes start to play and Linda walks with Henry down the aisle with her bridesmaids and the groom's men behind them. They lead us into the reception and the party starts.
I sit with the rest of the bridesmaids and groom's men and Harry in a table close to the dance floor. Surprisingly, the atmosphere is chill with Gerard and Harry. They sit across from each other avoiding any contact what's so ever. But I can't help but feel pretty awkward. I dont know why Harry doesn't feel awkward. He probably just doesn't care, but my friends don't seem to want to make friends with him. They haven't told me but I can tell they don't want to be his friend and they just don't approve of him. The only ones who seem to be his friends are Vicky, Jade, Emma and Frank. Mikey, Ray and Christa rarely talk to him. Especially Ray though. He just doesn't seem to like him. He's a very over-protective big brother.
"now, our lovely couple have prepared a beautiful dance for us tonight choreographed by our lovely wedding choreographer Chad!" Ms. Valentíne announces.
Chad steps up and gives his little speech about how wonderful it was to work with all of us.
After his speech, we all step up and take our places.
"you're going to be great." Harry whispers before I leave his side and step up taking my place with Gerard. I take one good look at him before the lights dim and the music starts.
Again, the lights are dim and with so much love in this room, I can't help but want to stay in Gerard's arms forever. He guides me with such smoothness it's perfect. His grip on my waist makes me remember our lustful nights together. The way he lifts me and looks into my eyes while he places me on my feet make me want to kiss him so badly.
I arch my back, when it's time as our choreography goes and his sensitive touch on my lower back gives me shivers. I look into his eyes and he looks back into mine as we hold our final pose. The crowd claps but he keeps a tight grip on me. We don't lose eye contact. My surroundings start to fade and my focus only goes on Gerard. He tightens the grip pulling me in closer. The sounds fade away and as soon as I close my eyes, I feel a pair of lips collide with mine and the whole world goes blank around me as a savor Gerard's lips. Oh how much have I missed his touch and for once in so long, I feel safe in his arms.
My heart starts to beat faster as my muscles get warm and fuzzy. My arms wrap my around Gerard's neck deepening the kiss. I hear a gasp, a laugh, a clap and a cry. And then I hear oh my god. I know it's Victoria. It's sounds like her.
Then, his lips let go of mine and I shoot my eyes open. His grip loosens and he tugs my dress as I see him stumble to the ground.
What's going on? I think. Then I see a large body hover over Gerard and when I hear the first jaw brake, I breathe.
My senses react and my mind shakes awake. I look around me and I sit still taking in everything at once.
I kissed Gerard in front of Harry
"stop! Stop now!" I hear someone yell. Then I see Harry getting pulled by Henry and Gerard lays on the ground with blood all over his white shirt. People look at me in disgust. Or at least that's what it seems. I see Jade screaming something.
"Edith!" I then react and hear. I take in another deep breath and when I see Gerard slowly get up and stare at me, I cry and run out.
"get off me! Get off me! I have to look for Edith!" I scream as Henry and Frank pull me out of the place.
"Harry calm down." Frank says setting me down on the ground with my hands being held behind my back.
"I'm so sorry. So sorry." I cry, "I'm sorry for ruining your wedding."
"it's okay.." Henry replies calmly.
"no it's not! I'm such a dumbass! How could I- that bastard! How could he!!"
"hey! That bastard is my best friend so you better watch what you say." for a short guy, Frank is pretty strong and holds a strong grip on my shirt as he stares at me with anger in his eyes.
"what do we do?" I hear Henry say. I then stop paying attention and get lost in my own train of thoughts. I ruined it. I just ruined my life. I beat up Gerard when I promised I would behave. But I was holding in that anger ever since the dress rehearsal when Edith hugged Gerard. I was so mad but didn't say anything for the sake of her. And when I saw him kiss her and her enjoy it, I couldn't control myself any longer. I did everything without thinking and now, I might have lost Edith forever. I see someone run to us in the distance. It's a girl. Victoria to be exact. She talks to Frank and they seemed to have agreed on something since Henry and Frank leave leaving Victoria and me alone. I pant hard and look at her as she sits next to me with a sweet smile.
"hey." she starts.
"do you want to tell me what happened?"
"listen, I know this might be a little awkward since we don't know each other that well but, you can talk to me if you have any problem. You see, everyone seems to be against you without even knowing your side of the story. I find that unfair and I already know Gerard's side of the story. I'd also like to know yours if you don't mind."
"fine, you seem to be the only one that cares anyway."
She giggles, "you can take as long as you want." she smiles so sweetly it's convincing and I spill everything out to her.
We concluded our conversation with exchanging numbers in case I needed someone to talk to. I agreed to it since her advise was great. We had a very nice long conversation and she advised me to talk to Edith before I decide to leave or anything. She told me where to find Edith so that's where I'm headed right now.
I'm a few yards away from Edith, who's crying in her mother's lap surrounded by Emma and Jade. I arrive and the first one to notice me was Emma.
"um Edith? Harry's here to see you." Edith shoots her head up and looks up at me wiping her tears away.
"we'll leave you two alone." Jade says and leaves with Emma and Ms. Lynn. We stare into each others eyes before she starts.
"wait, before you say I'm sorry, I think we need to talk about our relationship and see what's next for us." I say shushing her up. She calms down and listens.
"I.. want to say I'm sorry for what I did. I realized I shouldn't have. I feel extremely embarrassed in front of you and the rest of the audience. I'm sorry."
She nods. "now, I had a talk with someone just now and they made realize that, when you love something, you have let it go. And if it's meant to be, it'll find it's way back to you somehow. Now, I love you and I would love to continue our relationship but, it seems that's not my decision to make. It's yours. I want you to know that I am okay with whatever decision you make."
"what are you getting to.."
"I'm saying that if you want to end this relationship, I'm totally fine with it." she lets out a small whimper and grabs my hand.
"wait, think about it. Now I know you enjoyed that kiss. I saw it with my own eyes. I know you still love Gerard. And I don't think it's healthy for you to keep denying it. Because you're only hurting yourself."
"but I love you too Harry."
"and I love you. But I know the love you feel for me is not the same way you feel for Gerard. I know because not only was it noticeable today but, during your sleep, I have heard you moan Gerard's name. Jade has told me how much you loved and longed for Gerard even before me. Still, when you were an adult. And to be honest, it hurt to hear but I have to understand you. I haven't experienced anything like it but I know it must be painful to be without the one you love for so many years. Edith, I don't want to hold you back from your happiness. If Gerard is what makes you happy, Then go for it."
"but you make me happy too."
"but think about it.." she hesitates for a minute, "when I'm with Gerard, I feel really happy. And I'm sorry to admit but sometimes I want to stay with him forever. I want to kiss him so badly. I feel safe in his arms. I feel complete with him."
This is like a pile of bricks but all I can do is nod.
"Harry, I really appreciate you and you have made me happy. Don't ever forget that. I love you. I really do but I'd have to admit that, my heart belongs to Gerard. No matter what and I'm really sorry. But, even though I love him, I don't want to be with him. I just want to be alone."
"why? If it's because of me, please don't. Follow you're heart."
"it has nothing to do with you. I just want to be alone. I'm tired of problems."
"it's okay Edith. But I want you you to know I had one of the greatest times with you." I embrace her tightly.
"I did too. I'm happy I was once yours." she whispers in my ear. My heart jumps, and I look at her.
"so.. This is it.." I ask, afraid for the answer. But I grip me feelings and hear what she has to say. She doesn't say anything but nods.
I just hug her again tight, just like she has a tight grip on me. I kiss her cheek and let go with tears rolling down my cheeks.
"well, I should go." I say and stand up.
"goodbye Harry." she hugs me once more as she gets up. I hug her waist tight as I cry on her shoulder.
"bye." I whisper and turn around, trying not to look back and walk tall and proud to my car.
I watch Harry leave and disappear out of the parking lot. I sit there alone for a few minutes crying to myself feeling empty and alone. But all I know is that this is for the best. If I wouldn't have ended this relationship, it would have ended bad because we started to fight everyday for the smallest things. I walk back barefoot. These heels are killing me more than what I already am. As I make my way back, I notice Gerard, Ray, and Frank sitting by a near by tree. I look at them but don't stop. I walk right on by. Ray notices and just when I think he won't speak, he does.
"Edith wait." I turn around slowly and face them keeping my distance.
"I know things are hard right now but you and Gerard need to settle things soon. And soon is now." Ray says.
"I rather not." Gerard speaks throwing out his cigarette.
"me either." I also agree.
"well you don't have a say in it anymore so you guys are talking whether you like it or not." Frank gets up as well as Ray and they leave without a word. I surrender and sit down a good few feet away from Gerard. We sit in silence for a few minutes while he smokes another cigarette. The smoke starts to get me nauseous.
"are you gonna keep killing yourself or are we going to talk." I finally speak. Gerard throws his cigarette out and looks at me.
"why do we keep fighting Edith?" he blurts out.
"I dont know.. I'm tired of fighting."
"I am too. I'm sorry for what I did inside. I just, couldn't control myself but I promise you I won't do it again. I'll just back away. I'll stop begging you to be mine."
"it's okay. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters."
"why are you saying that?"
"Harry and I just broke up."
"oh I'm so sorry to hear." he shifts weight and faces me scooting closer.
"stop pretending to have sympathy."
"I'm not. I trully am sorry. I know he's what makes you happy and I can't stand seeing you sad." he comes even closer and hugs me.
"but you're what makes me happy." I say in a low whisper hoping he doesn't hear but he does. He tightens the hug.
"I broke up with him because I still love you. I'm tired of trying to deny it." I cry on his shoulder gripping his bloody shirt. He let's go and looks straight into my eyes and tries to kiss me. But I back away.
"not yet, it's too early. Give me some space."
"I'm sorry but.. I thought I would never hear you say that again." I hug him once again.
"Gerard, I'm confused. I dont know what to do."
"well I'm here for you no matter what okay? Don't forget that I've always loved you."
"I love you too Gerard." he looks at me again with watery eyes.
"please Edith, let me kiss you."
"I dont know, I feel.. Bad."
"come on, you're not with Harry anymore. It's just us. Let's get back together Edith. You love me and I love you. There's no obstacles anymore."
"but I'm scared. Just please, give me time to think."
"okay.. I'll wait for you forever if I have to." I nod.
"I love you. Don't forget that." he leans in slowly and carefully, and when his lips touch mine, I accept it and forget about everything.
Because his lips are the ones that make me feel safe.
**sorry for the delay guys... Tough week.