Brendon is in pain and needs all of his friends.
Dallon interrupted him rather quickly. “You need to come to the hospital. Now.”
“Hospital?” Spencer sat up quickly and ran a hand through his hair. “What happened? Who is it?”
“Sarah had an accident. She’s in surgery. You need to get here now, Spence.”
“Just get up and get your ass here now.”
Spencer was dressed and in his car within seven minutes. He was at the hospital ten minutes after that. Dallon was easy to spot. His being 6’3” helped since he towered over everyone else in the ER waiting room. He waved and Dallon quickly moved to intercept him. “What the hell happened?”
Dallon glanced over his shoulder to where Brendon was pacing. “After you left, he started drinking more. A lot more. Sarah got fed up with it, because you know how Bren is when he drinks, and she left.”
He nodded. They’d all been at Dallon’s house for a party. Spencer had left because, really, it sucks being the only one without a significant other in a house full of couples. Thirteenth wheel and all that. And he did know how Brendon was when he was drunk. He knew all too well, having been on tour with him for so damn long. “They argued?” he asked.
The taller man nodded. “She dumped him on me. Fifteen minutes after she’d left, he was begging me to take him home. I wasn’t exactly stone cold sober either, so Breezy drove. That’s when we came across the accident. Fuck, Spence, it was horrible.”
Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. For Dallon to say something was awful, it had to be pretty bad. “What… what happened?”
“Head on. Dude was fucking drunk. Had to be. The car was totally fucked. They were working on getting her out when we got there. Bren was a fucking mess. Still is.”
“Fuck.” He rubbed a hand over his face, feeling the regret of having left early. “I’m…” He looked over at Bren, his brow furrowed with worry.
Dallon nodded and clasped him on the shoulder. “Yeah. He needs you.”
Spencer just nodded and walked over to where Brendon was already wearing out the floor. “Hey.”
Brendon didn’t hear or see him at first. He was wringing his hands together, staring intently at the floor as he paced. Then he noticed Spencer’s shadow and stopped, looking up. He didn’t say a word, just threw his arms around Spencer’s neck and hugged him tightly.
Spencer was used to this. He’d known Brendon for almost ten years. Brendon was a very physical person. He loved to touch. Spencer wrapped his arms around his back. “Sorry,” he muttered against Brendon’s shoulder.
“It’s my fault,” he said in a very tiny voice. “We argued. I was stupid.”
“You’re always stupid when you drink.”
His grip relaxed. “Yeah… yeah, I am.”
Spencer realized what he’d said. “Fuck, Bren, you know what I mean.”
“Still my fault.”
He sighed. Brendon was going to blame himself for the whole thing. Of course he would. “Look, man, she’s gonna be fine. They’ll fix her.” He tried not to wince when he said it, because just the look on Dallon’s face when he’d described the scene was enough for him to know that they might not be able to fix her.
Brendon just nodded. After a moment, he pulled away. “Thanks for coming.”
Spencer shrugged. “You’re my best friend. Of course I’d be here. Why don’t we go sit down?”
He nodded weakly and let Spencer lead him to a seat.
Three hours and about a dozen cups of coffee later, there’s movement. Spencer awoke from where he was dozing in a chair to see a doctor stepping towards Brendon, a grim look on his face. Spencer knew that look. He remembered it from when he had been with Ryan when his dad died. This was not going to be good.
He glanced at Dallon who had seen the same thing and knew exactly what was going on, too. They both moved towards where the doctor was talking with Brendon softly. He saw his friend’s shoulders tense. Oh fuck, this was not going to end well.
“No,” Brendon said softly. “No… nonononoNONONO!” He was screaming as he turned to run. He didn’t get far as he felt arms wrapping around him. He looked at Spencer in shock. “Let me go, Spence. Let me the fuck GO!”
“No, Bren. I’m not.” Brendon was strong, but he was wiry. Spencer wasn’t out of shape, but he was compact. He tightened his arms as Brendon tried to wriggle away. “Come on, I’m taking you to my apartment.”
Dallon heard him and nodded. “Shane and I’ll take care of things here.”
“Thanks man,” Spencer said, hauling Brendon out to his car. He felt bad leaving Dallon and Shane to take care of this, but he knew how broken Brendon was. He put Brendon in the car then pulled out his phone as he walked to the driver’s side. He sent a text to a number he hadn’t used in a while. He hoped it was still active. It simply said: Brendon needs you
Brendon was a rag doll when he pulled up at his apartment building. He’d been eerily silent the entire drive. They sat in the car for a long moment. Just as Spencer moved to get out, Brendon broke. “It’s my fault,” he said softly. “It’s my fault Sarah’s dead.” Tears streamed down his cheeks.
Spencer sighed and sat back. “No, Brendon, it’s not your fault.”
“If I hadn’t been stupid and drank so much and got into an argument, we would have left together. And then…”
“You probably wouldn’t be here right now and an assload more people would be very upset, me included. I’m already upset, but I’d be even more upset. It was a fucking accident, Bren. Shit happens sometimes. You of all people know that. There is a reason for everything.”
He put his head in his hands. “Doesn’t help the hurt any.”
Spencer laid a hand on his shoulder. “I know, Bren. I know.” He got out and went around to help Brendon out of the car. He felt Brendon lean against him, trying to bury himself into his side. He put his arm around him as they walked into the building and up to his apartment.
He unlocked the door and moved Brendon to the couch. “I’ll make coffee,” he said as Brendon sat down. He headed into the kitchen and checked his phone. He had a reply.
WTF he does not
He sighed and shook his head, typing out a reply. There was an accident. Sarah didn’t make it. He had enough time to get the coffee started before he got a reply.
Where r u
My apartment. U remember the way?
FU see u in 10
He was bringing a mug of coffee for Brendon when there was a knock on the door. He handed it to him before going to answer it. Ryan stood there, hands in his pockets, head ducked. Typical Ross. Spencer just stepped aside and let him enter.
Brendon looked up in surprise. “Ryan?”
Ryan toed the rug, looking very nervous. “Spence told me what happened. I’m sorry, Bren. I know what she meant to you.”
Spencer went over and pushed Ryan towards the couch. “You want coffee?” he asked.
Ryan nodded as he moved to sit beside Brendon. Brendon watched him. He hadn’t changed a lot. His hair was different, but he was still skinny as fuck. He leaned into his bony side. It felt familiar. Ryan raised his arm and put it over his shoulder a little awkwardly. He snuggled against him more. Now it was very familiar and warm and comforting.
Spencer came back with a mug of coffee for Ryan to find Brendon attached to his friend’s side like nothing had happened. An eyebrow shot up as he handed Ryan the cup. Ryan shrugged with one shoulder and tipped the mug at him in thanks. “Zack’s on his way,” he said. “He’s going to go check on the dogs first. Jon’s trying to get on a flight.”
It was weird. Ryan and Jon were the first people he thought to tell. Then he figured they might need Zack if word got out. Besides, Zack could handle Brendon better than any of them. He’d considered texting Brent, but he wasn’t even sure if the number he had was right. But out of everyone, he thought of Ryan and Jon first.
He turned to step away from the couch when he felt a tug on his jeans. Looking down, he saw Brendon tugging him towards the couch. He sat down and Brendon pulled him closer until he was wedged firmly between Ryan and him. Brendon put a hand each on their knees and squeezed as he kept his head on Ryan’s shoulder.
Ryan glanced over at Spencer with a questioning look. Spencer just shrugged. Brendon was hurting and being weird, as usual. Spencer was glad Ryan was here and Brendon was okay with it. And when Jon arrived, it would be perfect. He leaned his head on Brendon’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
Zack walked down the hall to Spencer’s apartment. Brendon’s dogs had been spastic to say the least. Then again, what would you expect from dogs belonging to Brendon Urie? It had taken him forever to get them back in the house. Not that he wanted to go back into the house. Fuck, it was going to be so hard on Brendon when he went home. Reminders of Sarah everywhere.
He didn’t bother knocking, sticking his key in the lock and opening the door. He had keys to all of their homes. He usually had to go wake them up when it was time to head out. He even still had the key to Ross’ old place. He didn’t know why he kept it, just that he had. He walked in and stopped.
On the couch sat Spencer, Brendon and one very tense looking Ryan Ross. Ross looked ready to spring the moment he’d entered. Zack saw his shoulders relax and his head incline in a greeting. “Ross,” he said as he closed the door. “I’m a little surprised to see you here.”
Ryan shrugged slightly with is free shoulder. “Spence said Brendon needed me.”
“Then I’m glad you came.” Zack moved over to sit in the chair nearest the door. “How long have they been out?”
“I can’t feel my arm anymore.” Ryan grinned.
Zack smiled. “You can move him, you know. I’m sure you remember.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” he said softly. “I… it kinda feels… normal.”
“We missed you, too.”
Ryan flushed slightly.
Zack sniffed the air. “Burnt coffee. Spence forgot to shut it off again. I’ll go make some fresh.” He got up and went into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Spencer’s phone rang, making him jump into the air, literally. “Fuck.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Shit, gotta take this.” He got up and answered it as he was walking back towards his bedroom.
“How’s he doing?” Dallon asked.
“Well, he will have to come back to the hospital at some point. There’s stuff he needs to do.”
Spencer sighed. “I know. Just… he needs time right now. I turned off his phone. I’m sure it’ll explode when he turns it on.”
“Yeah, I know. Sarah’s parents just got here. They’ve asked about him.”
“Just… tell them he’s with me. If they want to drop by, tell them how to get here. I just…”
“I know Spence. It’s hard. It’s always hard to lose a loved one, but he has responsibilities that only he can take care of.”
Spencer scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know, and he will. I promise. I’ll get him back there before the day is out.”
There is a pause and Dallon sighs. “Before dinner, Spence.”
“Right, okay, yeah, we’ll be there.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and hung up the phone. He was getting a headache. Checking his messages, he saw one from Jon. He got on a plane over an hour ago. He’d be here in another three hours.
Tossing his phone on the bed, he walked back in the living room. Zack had taken his spot on the couch and Brendon was now attached to him. Spencer moved to sit in the chair closest to Ryan. “Jon’s plane should be here in a couple of hours.”
“I can go pick him up,” Zack offered.
He nodded his thanks and turned his attention to Ryan. “So, you and Keyes… that’s a thing?”
Ryan had been rubbing his shoulder back awake, flexing his hand, when he heard Dan’s name come from Spencer’s mouth. He turned his head slowly to look at him and shrugged. “I guess. I mean, he makes me happy. Not, like, as happy as I was about ten years ago, but…” He left his thoughts hanging.
“What if…” Brendon said, turning his head towards Ryan. “What if you could be that happy again?”
He thought for a moment, not quite understanding what Brendon was getting at. “I… I guess I would like that. I don’t see it happening, though.”
“But what if?” Brendon sat up and reached for one of Ryan’s hands. “What if, you know, the band got back together and we recorded an album and went on tour and did all of those things we used to do…”
“You mean like the arguing and realizing we have different views on things?”
Spencer noticed Ryan hadn’t taken his hand back from Brendon yet. He glanced at Zack, who had also noticed. They both were watching the exchange with heightened interest.
Brendon sighed. “I’m sorry, Ryan. I’m sorry for everything I said. I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t care anymore. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m serious. This… This has made me realize just how short life can be. Anything can happen at any time, and I want things back the way they used to be. I want us back together, making music, making people happy. Making us happy.”
“I…” Ryan started then closed his mouth. He had no response.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Spencer interjected. “I mean, Brendon really could use some help with his lyrics. And the guitar part. And syncopation.”
They all looked at him as he looked down at his hands, grinning broadly. Ryan and Brendon looked at each other in shock then grinned and busted out laughing, bumping against each other like they used to do. Zack was smiling as he watched. Yeah, this was good.
They started playing Halo and it was seriously like old times now. Brendon reaching over to grab Ryan’s controller. Ryan taking Spencer’s controller and holding it high over his head where Spence wouldn’t reach it. Zack having to break them apart.
Zack finally left to go pick up Jon and Spencer got up to go get his phone so he could call and order a pizza. He sent Jon a text saying Zack would be picking him up. He had text messages from everyone, Brendon’s family, Dallon, Ian, Shane, even Pete and Patrick. He skimmed through them as he walked back into living room. “I’m going to kill Dallon for telling everyone to text my phone.”
Ryan and Brendon had been shoving each other with their shoulders trying to make the other mess up. Brendon stopped and looked up when Spencer spoke, so when Ryan shoved back, he fell over. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Bren.”
“S’ok,” Brendon said, still staring at Spencer. “Who texted?”
Spencer looked up to see him staring intently at him. “Uh, pretty much everybody. Your family, Ian, Pete, Patrick. I just sent a mass text saying you’re okay, just need time and you’ll talk to them soon.”
He nodded and looked at the floor. Spencer could tell he was about to blame himself again. He immediately sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. “Don’t do it,” he said firmly.
Ryan looked at him curiously. Spencer looked up with a frown. “He keeps blaming himself. It’s not his fault. It’s the fucking asshole drunk who crossed the center lane and hit her head on. It is NOT your fault.”
Brendon didn’t move. He didn’t acknowledge that Spencer had even said anything. After a moment, he felt warmth at his back. Ryan was hugging him. His arms were long enough that he could reach Spencer’s shoulders, so he pulled them all together. Spencer looked over Brendon at Ryan. He had his head lying against Brendon’s. He took a deep breath and made a mental picture of this to always remember.
The door opened and they jumped apart, bodies and arms flying in all directions. Zack raised an eyebrow, but walked in anyway. “Look who I found.”
Jon walked in behind him, carefully making sure his guitar case didn’t hit the door frame. Brendon was on his feet and leaping over the coffee table to launch himself at Jon. “Jon Walker, where the fuck have you been?”
Jon dropped his bags caught him, a smile on his face. “Where I always am,” he replied. “Sorry this visit isn’t under better circumstances.”
Brendon nuzzled his neck, Jon’s beard tickling his ear. “Yeah, but you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
The next thing he knew, he was being pushed aside, Ryan taking his place in hugging Jon. Then Spencer got his turn. Brendon smiled. This was nice. This was normal. This was how things were supposed to be. “Together again,” he said softly.