“Frank, you better know what you are doing. You know how he is,” Mikey cuts into Frank’s attention.
Sitting up on the bed, Frank snaps back, “I’ve already told you I can manage it. We are both grown men and we can do what we want to.” The movement of the bed and Frank’s voice stirs Gerard. Still groggy, he doesn’t move. He wants to hear their conversation; he can tell something’s awry.
“I’m not going to let you fuck up a good thing we’ve all got goin’ for us! Shit, Frank, we’re actually fuckin’ going places. And we ain’t gonna keep goin’ there if the two a’ you fuck it all up, in more ways than one!”
“Mikey, you know how long I’ve had a crush on him. And you know I’ll call it off if it starts affectin’ the band.”
“And what about Gerard, huh? Look at him, Frank, seriously!” Mikey shouts. Frank’s eyes dart down to Gerard. “He could'a died today, Frank! You keep saying you can ‘manage this’; what part of his life was managed today?”
Frank’s face goes white. His voice is barely audible when he speaks again. “It’s my fault, Mikey, I know. I let my dick think for me. But...” Frank looks up at Mikey. Mikey can see the pain and regret in Frank’s eyes. “...but, I won’t do that again, if it ever happens again at all.”
Mikey’s expression and tone softens at Frank’s pain as he looks back down at Gerard, sweeping a strand of hair off his forehead. “Frank, I know you love him. Hell, we all do! And today wasn’t all your fault. Gerard drinks. We know that. Just promise me one thing...”
“I won’t hurt him. I swear, Mikey. I’ll hurt myself before I hurt him!”
“No, listen. You can’t have him and not hurt him. That’s just how life works. Promise me this, though. Promise me you’ll leave him better than you found him. Can you do that?”
Frank looks back at Mikey. He’s looking for sincerity, compassion, anything. Just a sign that Mikey is really giving his approval.
“Fuckin’ promise the bitch, Frankie, so he’ll shut up,” Gerard finally speaks up, sounding like he looks, worse for the wear.
“Gerard,” both Frank and Mikey say simultaneously. Frank leans down beside him from his seat on the bed, and Mikey moves right over behind him.
“You girls make me sound like a cluster-fuck!”
“Ah, he’s gonna be fine,” Mikey smirks. “There’s the same ol’ G comin’ out.” Mikey stands up, patting Frank on the shoulder. He leans over and whispers in Frank’s ear, “I think you might need some time to talk about things, don’t ya’?” From his tone, Frank knew Mikey wasn’t looking for an answer.
Mikey walks over to the table and sits down. He grabs his mp3 and puts the earbuds in, blasting the music so loud Frank could hear the din from it ever so quietly from across the bus.
“You alright?” Frank kind of chuckles, coupled with a sigh of relief. “I mean, obviously you’re pretty beat up, but otherwise...” Gerard’s eyes are still real heavy.
“I feel like I was hit by a truck.” Gerard tries to smile, but a look of pain crosses his face.
“You hit your face when you fell.”
“Fell?” Gerard pauses; his expression looks as if he’s trying to remember. “Frank, I don’t remember what happened,” he admits, sounding as if it took all he had inside to say the words aloud.
“I can only tell you what I know. I left you on the bed to get a shower. When I came back out you were gone. I started packin’ things up when Mikey came lookin’ for you. He said you weren’t in your room, but I knew better after what had happened between us. So, we broke the door in to get inside the room. I found you passed out in the shower, lyin’ on a broken liquor bottle. By the look of your face,” Frank gently rubs his fingers over Gerard’s cheek, “you hit your face when you passed out.”
“How’d you get me out?”
“I didn’t do it alone. Mikey helped me get you out of the shower. And it took all three of us to get you on the bus.”
“So he knows?” Gerard’s voice sounding as if it were half a question and half a statement.
“Yeah. He knows.” Gerard stares off into nothing for a minute. Finally, he seems to come back.
“I remember feeling kinda panic-y and looking for a drink, then finding one. But that’s it...” Gerard sounds distraught.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t ah...I—I shoulda took things more... more slowly, I guess.” Frank stammers out, trying to apologize. He reaches out and takes Franks hand, softly kissing the backs of his fingers.
“Hey,” Gerard says, tugging gently on Frank’s hand. Frank looks up at Gerard, actually looking him in the eyes for first time since they started talking. “I coulda stopped it just as much as you. I really wanted it, Frankie. So don’t do that, don’t say that to me...” Gerard’s words are beginning to slur again. Frank knows he has used up all his energy and rest is what he needs.
“Shh, just sleep, Gerard.” Frank strokes his hair. Gerard closes his eyes.
“You were right.”
“I do feel it later.” Frank giggles at him. He snuggles into Frank a little closer, wincing a little, then quickly falls asleep. Frank continues to stroke his hair. Out of his peripherals, he sees Mikey looking at him. He raises his gaze to meet his. Mikey just smiles. Relief completely washes over Frank, and he smiles back.
Eventually, Frank succumbs to sleep holding tightly to Gerard, his hand still buried in Gerard’s hair. Mikey watches them sleep for a while, hoping Frank really can handle Gerard and help him get better. He walks across the bus, covering them up with a blanket. He flips off the light and heads for a bunk himself.
Sorry I didnt update yesterday. I was working my ass off with assignments and traning