“I saw Gerard today.”
My mom stopped everything she was doing and turned to face me. I was leaning against the doorframe into the kitchen, watching her put away the dishes.
She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans and sighed. “How did that go?”
I stepped into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. “Terrible. It’s like no matter what I say, he’ll find a way to disprove it.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I just miss him so much.”
She sat down across from me. “Have you thought about having Mikey talk to him for you?”
“This is my problem, not Mikey’s. I don’t need to bring him into this.” She grabbed my hands from across the table and looked into my eyes.
“You know, I’m really proud of you for wanting to do this on your own, but sometimes people need help. Gerard trusts Mikey. It wouldn’t hurt to try.”
I sighed. “Mom, I can do this. Asking Mikey to do this for me isn’t the best idea. I don’t even think he’s completely okay with just being my friend.” She was silent. “I’m going to his house tomorrow. I’ll talk to him them.”
“I know how badly you want Gerard to just take you back. But you have to keep in mind that it may never happen. That’s just how life works, and I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” She paused, smiling. “But I’m sure Gerard will want you back. He loves you.”
That was something I hadn’t even thought about. What if after everything is said and done, Gerard doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore? What if his feelings changed? I mean, it happens to everyone. One day I loved Mikey more than anything else, and the next, I was in love with Gerard.
Gerard and I not being together was terrifying. I cared about him so deeply... I couldn’t live without him. But if I had to, I guess I would. This was all turning into one huge mess. It was starting to seem like there was no way out of this.
“Just stay positive. Everything will turn out for the best.” Yeah, stay positive. I guess that was all I had.
She stood up and headed toward the fridge. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I need some ice cream.”
I laughed. Leave it to my mom to take my mind of my problems. “Yeah, ice cream sounds great.”
Once we both had our bowls of ice cream, we carried them into the living room and fell on the couch. There was some old black and white movie playing on TV. Neither of us were really watching it, but we didn’t turn the channel. We were both too caught up in our own thoughts.
It was nice. Just the two of us, eating ice cream on the couch. We hadn’t done anything this normal in a long time. I could almost forget about everything that was going on. Almost.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about Gerard. What if my mom was right, and we ended up not getting back together? I would be crushed. Sure, after time I would move on and find someone else, but it wouldn’t be the same.
At least I still have Mikey. After everything I did to him, he still came back to be my friend. Even if that’s all I get with Gerard, I could be happy. I just don’t want to lose him completely.
My mom sighed, bringing me back to reality, “Frank, I know what you’re thinking about. Just stop. Eat your ice cream, watch the movie, and just stop.” She paused, sticking her spoon into her ice cream and facing me. “I know it’s hard. Believe me. I’ve been there. Everyone has been through heartbreak. The only thing that helps you through is to believe it will get better, not dwell on the past.”
She wasn’t just talking about Gerard anymore. No, she was talking about my dad. She was heartbroken when the marriage started to fall apart. But if she would have stayed that way, who knows where we would have ended up. She managed to stop thinking about the past, and realize that she needed to get out of the marriage. Now, the two of us were doing just fine.
She was right, though. Of course she was right. She always is. I already had plans to talk to Gerard tomorrow, so I had no reason to think about it right now. Right now, I could just sit here with my mom and watch this movie and eat this ice cream. Right now, that was all that mattered.
We went the whole rest of the night watching old movies and eating ice cream. Somehow I managed to keep Gerard out of my thoughts. It wasn’t really that difficult, when I was busy focusing on how horrible the movies were.
Everything about them were terrible. There was definitely a reason no one had heard of them. At about eleven, my mom took our empty bowls into the kitchen. She yawned, walking down the hallway toward her bedroom. “I’m going to bed. Try not to stay up too late rotting your brain.”
I just laughed as she disappeared into her bedroom. Her door closed behind her, and I grabbed the remote, turning off the TV. I couldn’t take anymore terrible movies. Besides, I needed to get some sleep. I’d been working almost non-stop, and when I wasn’t working I was thinking about Gerard.
Flipping the lights off, I headed upstairs to my bedroom. I didn’t even bother turning on the light, I just walked in and collapsed on my bed. I decided not to change into my pajamas and just pulled my shirt off instead. I’d slept in my jeans a million times.
I just lay there, looking up at the ceiling for the longest time. As easy as it was to keep my mind away from Gerard while watching movies with my mom, now I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
In just a short amount of time he had become my life. It sounds crazy, I still can’t believe it. But I love Gerard, and I know he loves me too. This has to work out, we have to work out. I don’t foresee a future with us apart.
A//N: Goodness gracious, you are all so fantastic. I just want to eat you all up. Seriously, the reviews you leave me are always so incredible. I smile reading each and every one :)