Two weeks later and Gerard is sitting across the table from Frank, drinking coffee and trying not to groan. Frank has a look of petulant seriousness on his face, frown lines creasing the space in between his brow. Gerard has never met anyone so adorable.
Frank never officially moved in, just moved items of clothing piece by piece as if Gerard wouldn't notice. Gerard totally did notice but he doesn't mind. Frank has weird habbits, like having to keep every door in the hose closed and bitching when Gerard covers the entirity of the bathroom floor with soap and bubbles. But Gerard loves him for it and it's not like he doesn't have habits too, he's noticed, now that he's not living alone for the first time in at least five years, he has pet peeves and preferences. One of those preferences is not having his parents round for dinner.
"But your mom is lovely" Frank says, "And I'll cook, it will be great"
Gerard does groan then, "Frank, you don't understand" he whines.
Frank snorts, "You are twelve years old"
"But we'll have to clean and vacuum Frank, vacuum!"
Frank sort of frowns, sort of laughs. Frank is an asshole.
"Gee, I've seen your house" he says skeptically.
"That's different" Gerard insists, the feeling that he's fighting a loosing battle slowly sinking in. There's no way he can say no to Frank, especially not about this. He'll just tell Mikey and Mikey will tell Alicia and then she'll call his mom and she'll be offended and invite herself around anyway to bitch about Gerard's manners as well as his housekeeping skills. Gerard's life is in shambles.
Frank moves around to Gerard's side of the table, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and squeezing when Gerard slumps helplessly into the touch. He ruffles Gerard's hair and kisses the skin behind his ear, "C'mon, you're gonna be late for work"
Gerard doesn't grumble or bitch too much more as he gets his bag and coat. Even when Frank does say that he'll call his Ma later. It might be okay, his mom loves Frank.
Gerard's mother is a tall woman with even taller hair, bleached blond and backcombed to hell. Gerard long since gave up on asking her to dress her age. She's kind of awesome, in the way that his mom wears Iron Maiden t-shirts and knee high boots but also, with her long sharp, black fingernails and smoke rough voice, she is possibly the most terrifying woman Gerard has ever met.
"Gerard, baby" she says as she comes through the door, dropping her coat over the back of the sofa before quickly coming to squeeze the life out of her eldest son.
"Hi, Ma" Gerard says, wheezing a little, "Good to see you"
"Well it's about time" she scolds, "I started to think you were avoiding me"
Gerard's dad comes through the door next, explaining why Frank should never use the garage off Tyson Road and poking him on the shoulder with every point.
"He doesn't have a car, Dad" Gerard says because it's easier than replying to his mom.
"Well he's not going to not have a car for the rest of his life, is he?" Donald argues. "What's for dinner?"
Gerard sighs, picking up his Ma's coat to hang with the others by the door. "Lasagna. Frank cooked"
"Lovely" Donna says , eyes scanning over the living room, "Aren't you a vegetarian, Frank?"
"Yes, Ma'am" Frank says, "made it with quarn"
"I heard that stuff gives you cancer" Donald notes, poking Frank's shoulder again, "You should be careful what you pump your body full of"
"Where did you even hear that?" Gerard asks, voice outraged.
"Evan, from down bar, you know Evan. Used to serve back in 'Nam"
"I'm very careful about what I eat" Frank assures him, smiling at Gerard with a gleam in his eyes.
"More careful than Gerard I dare say" Donna dares to say, "What have you been living off? Pork pies?"
Donna squeezes is cheek between her finger and thumb before wondering into the kitchen.
"It's too dark in here" Gerard's dad complains, squinting down at his dinner with low, drawn eyebrows.
"We have energy saving bulbs, sorry" Frank says.
"What'dya need those for?" Donald asks.
"To save energy" Gerard sighs, cutting a square of pasta with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"You know I could give you my aunt's recipe for lasagna" Donna says to Frank, nudging him a little as she laughs, "Mind, this one seemed to like it a little too much as a teenager, if you know what I'm saying"
Gerard chokes on his food. "Mom!"
"They're a rip off, they are" Gerard's dad says knowingly.
"Oh Frank doesn't care" Donna chuckles, "And it's only fair to warn him now"
Frank snorts a giggle, shaking his head and grinning. This is what Gerard's life has become.
Donald pokes Frank's shoulder, "You know I can give you someone that does a good deal on light bulbs"
"Oh that guy from the Grandby" Donna enthuses, "There's a wonderful shade there that would go in our kitchen"
"Our lights are fine" Gerard says, "They're eco-friendly"
"They wouldn't light up a matchbox"
Gerard's dad pokes Frank's arm. "You tell Mike Don sent you, he'll give you a discount"
Gerard shoves a mouthful of lasagna into his mouth.
His mom giggles, "See, I told you to watch out"
"Bye, see you soon" Gerard says, ushering his parents out of the door.
"It was great to see you again" Frank adds, kissing Donna's cheek and smiling politly. Frank is Donna's dream.
Donald pokes Frank's shoulder, "You just remember what I told you, they've got all sorts of freezers down at Moley's, just tell John I sent you and he'll give you a good price"
"I'll be sure to" Frank says, shaking his hand.
Gerard closes the door behind them with a sigh. "Sorry" he says.
Frank kisses him, still grinning. "They are batshit crazy" he says with a giggle, "It's a good job I love you"
"Mmm" Gerard grumbles.
"C'mon" Frank pulls on Gerard's hand, biting his lip.
"Oh the things I do for you" Gerard sighs and follows Frank to the bedroom.
And boom, that's it. Done. Though, you may have noticed there is still one more line of song...