-It sure as hell ain’t normal but we do, we do.-
“Do you like The Offspring?” Gerard asked, after directing me to his bed. I wasn’t exactly happy to be transferring beds. It didn’t help me any, and it wasn’t like I was going to try to seduce Gerard for my freedom. That shit wouldn’t work. With my luck he’d be gay anyway, and I’d just be wasting my time.
“You’re mad.” Gerard pressed a few buttons and then his bedroom was flooded with music. It wasn’t all that loud. I would prefer louder, because I knew that he expected me to talk to him now and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to have a heart to heart with someone who obviously didn’t give a damn about me.
“Don’t I have the right to be?”
“I guess.” Gerard answered. “Though I could have a sock in your mouth or something.”
Gerard chuckled. “It is. I think I’ve seen it in some movie or something though because it’s the first thing that came to mind. I just mean to say that you don’t have it all that bad for a kidnapped chick. It could be worse. We could be-”
“Locking me in the basement and sticking socks in my mouth?”
Gerard laughed again. “Actually we don’t have a basement, but other than that… yeah.”
“Well, thank you for saving me from the sock treatment.”
“Anytime.” Gerard responded.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “How did this happen?”
“How did you come to the conclusion that kidnapping someone was a good decision? You seem too nice to do this, and you’re funny- and you’re just… normal.”
Gerard laughed again. “I think this is the first time anyone has ever called me normal.”
“That’s something to remember.” I replied, laughing as well.
“It is.” Gerard agreed. “And I wish I could tell you all of my motives and make you understand but… I don’t want to tell you too much because I just- I don’t want your transition to freedom to be any harder than it has to be. In case the cops get involved… I just can’t, you know?”
“The main point though is… I just want my dreams to come true. We all have dreams and well… my friends and I- we’ve been trying for so long and we’re getting nowhere. We just need a boost. We need some financial help, and we ran out of options.”
“So I’m your last resort?”
“What about Frank?” I didn’t want to give too much away about what I knew of Frank, because it seemed like Gerard really thought he didn’t know me- and that was strange, but also kind of helpful.
“What about him?”
“This is about his dream too?”
“Oh.” Gerard sounded relieved for a brief moment. “Yeah. This is just all about our dream. A group of us… We just need this. We really do.”
I took a deep breath and decided to broach the subject which had been upon my mind. “What about Mikey?”
Gerard breathed in sharply but said nothing.
“I’ve seen Mikey’s face so where does that leave me?” Gerard needed to answer these questions because he seemed to be under the impression that I would escape unscathed… and that just wasn’t realistic. Maybe I could pressure him in to helping me, because no one wanted to kill. I couldn’t believe that.
“You’ll forget.” Gerard whispered. “You’ll forget all about him. He’s not involved.”
“You care about him.” That much was obvious.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Gerard lied.
“Do you think your dream can really come true?” I relaxed against Gerard’s bed, feeling Gerard’s body against mine. He was beside me. He froze for a second before relaxing once again.
“I hope so. Do you have a dream?”
“Not since I was six.” I chuckled. “My dad wasn’t really in to stuff like that. He raised me to… well, live in reality. Sometimes it sucks. I miss how I used to feel when I was six.”
“How did you feel then?” Gerard’s voice was soft and soothing.
“I felt like I was on top of the world.” I admitted. “I wanted to be a princess and at that age I was. I was daddy’s little girl. I wore a crown every single day that entire year.” I laughed. “Whenever I look back on those photographs I always feel horribly embarrassed. I was such a little brat.”
“Every single day?” Gerard laughed.
“Yep.” I laughed as well. “I had one in every color imaginable. Dad called them mood crowns. I wore whatever color reminded me most of how I felt.”
“What was your favorite color?” Gerard asked, shifting.
“Ouch, you’re on my hair!” I pulled away but stopped, as the movement tugged at my hair.
Gerard moved slowly and gently moved my hair. “Is that better?”
“Much. Thank you.” I could feel his body heat, and the smell of his body wash. He felt so solid and so- /time to turn my brain off/. I was thinking the wrong thoughts. “My favorite color to wear was silver because it was so sparkling and pretty. Plus it’s my favorite color of all time but the color that I ended up wearing most was black.”
“Black?” Gerard sounded surprised.
“I was mourning my mother.” I licked my lips. “She died right before my birthday. I think being a princess freed me from that. I got to play a part, like off Disney. I got to be someone else and have someone else’s problems- and my mother being dead wasn’t one of those problems. I was free from that, with only the colors to show how I really felt.”
“I’m sorry.” Gerard whispered.
“I was never much for apologies.” I could feel the tears stinging my eyes though. I’d never gotten over her. I had never really given myself the chance.
“I like to think that this is just one long trip.” Gerard cleared his throat. “And that the end of the road where we die is really the beginning. I like to think that after we go through all of this that we will- we’ll get a second chance with those that really matter to us, and you deserve that second chance.”
“But I don’t want to die.”
“Are you afraid?” Gerard asked.
“Aren’t you?” Death was pain. Pain was frightening because it hurt.
“Yeah- but I’m not you. You shouldn’t be afraid. You have something waiting for you on the other side- something good. I, well I’ve done bad things-I’m still doing bad things. I don’t get a second chance.”
“Why not? Second chances are all about righting your wrongs.” I pointed out.
I cut him off, “You don’t get to argue here. Second chances aren’t only given to those who don’t need them. There would be no point. Second chances are for everyone, so if you’re going to believe in redemption for anyone… believe in it for yourself.”
“You know you should hate me, right?”
“I do.” I chuckled. “Kind of. I’ve never been a very hateful person though. It’s hard to hate people. It’s time consuming and useless- and I like to think that I’m better than that.”
“I’m sorry that this happened to you.” Gerard muttered, suddenly sounding upset. “It’s not like- well, I didn’t choose you. I want you to know that. It’s nothing personal.”
But I knew it was.
(Sorry, my updates are going to be short for a little while since I’m so short on time. I usually hate short updates but I’ve caved in and it’s better than posting nothing which is what I have been doing, lol. Thanks for any reviews on anything! I appreciate it!)