Josh and Matt rent a movie, and Josh is freaked out
Matt looks at me.
"Wanna do something fun?"
"I was thinking of renting a movie."
"Yeah, is that cool?"
"Yeah. Lets go."
I get up and look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I'm pale, and my baby bump is sticking out.
This sucks. I am probably the biggest fuck-up ever. I hate myself.
I grab a hoodie, and walk to him.
"I don't wanna do this anymore..." I whisper.
"No, I don't wanna be in this rehab centere, I am tired of everything...."
"Josh, lets just go grab a movie."
We walk to the movie rental place, and pick out a movie. I picked Grave of the Fireflies, because I just am not feeling into a happy movie.
Matt looks at the back cover, "Dude, this is about WWII, you sure you'll be okay watching this?"
"Yeah." I mumble. I feel numb, not high numb, just numb.
Matt pays for the rental, and we walk back. He looks at me worriedly.
"Matt? Its not your kid......what if..........what if you leave me?" I whisper.
"I'm not gonna leave you Josh. I love you so dam much."
We get back to the centere, and I walk into the main room, with the TV.
Matt pops in the dvd, and I am shaking. He puts an arm around me, "You okay bud?"
"Yeah." I mutter.
We watch the Hiroshima bombings, and a child's mother gets burned over like, 90% of her body,
Its horrible, why the fuck did I pick this?! I start crying as the two kids go around starving, and looking for food. Matt looks at me and hugs me.
The whole movie is about genocide, its horrible.
Finally the end comes, and I am a fucking wreck, I stopped crying, but I'm shaking like mad, and Matt is holding onto my hand. Then, the boy comes back, and his little sister is dead....right when he has food for them finally. I start crying again.
"Matt......I wanna go home........" I sob.
He kisses my cheek, and I look at him.
"I think I'm gonna--" I stop, before standing up and rushing to the bathroom. I throw up again.
I don't want this anymore..........
hi, I'm watching a disturbing show and in the 3rd episode some girl gets impaled by an umbrella! its disturbingly cool! hahahha. here's an update, I'm half awake. xo Jules