Gerard and Frank are in a secret relationship,someone is getting in the way. To what lenghts will they go to keep their love?
Its dark here, i can barely see
Only a shadow that lay above me
Only one way to describe my soul inside
I sit there, reflecting
Fear, the same fear i created
I don't know how to get out
All i hear are voices
Telling me to let go
I am nothing more than a shaddow of my former self
I am no longer in control of my body...
Or my mind for that matter
I feel the numbness slowly creeping its way up my body
I cant live
Constantly in fear of my own mind
Afraid of my own tricks
I am my own worst enemy
My own weakness
Can you hear the voices?
Calling out to me
Please tell me you can hear them too
And that i am not alone
Im scared and tormented
They found me
I knew they would
The voices in my head were right
They finally caught up to me
Nowhere to run or hide
Just here inside my mind
No one can help me
I can never get them to shut up
Until the day I die
That day I will be free
Until then I give myself away
Do what you want with me
Im tired of fighting
As soon as I get my gun. I'll tell you all about it when you fall in love.
"I'm going out Lindz."
"Oh, okay." she looked at me with a saddened expression.
I wasn't spending any time with her. I feel lousy for it. I know I lack things that a normal husband should have. But that's why she loves me, she didn't want a normal husband. Boy did she get what she was asking for...
I get in my car, tracing a line across the minuscle dust particles that call my dash home, I wonder, are we all just that? Miniature particules? With no purpose but to accumulate and then disintegrate.
I drive and drive and drive. No purpose what so ever, other than getting out of my house of course. I park my car and get out, knock at a door and anxiously await a greeting.
The door swings open, and I am greeted by the face of an angel. The one who makes me question life and all it's motives.
"Gerard? What are you doing here? Oh! Its snowing, come in, you must be freezing!" he called out to me.
"Why are you here Gerard?" he looked at me expectantly.
"I drove here Frankie." I said while under a mysterious trance.
"I know, but why?" he asked
"Because I need you." I replied
At that moment all I knew was that I needed Frank. I needed his warmth to shelter me from the harsh elements,I needed his smile to calm my anxiety, I needed his voice to relax me, but most of all I needed him to make me feel safe.
"Gerard, you know this is wrong. We've talked about it. We can't." he said sternly
"I'm not implying we have sex. I don't want that."
"Okay, then why do you need me?"
"They are back."
"Gerard, I-I they aren't real. You need to believe me." he said looking concerned.
"Yes they are Frankie. I can feel them." I argued
"Yes but your brain makes you think you feel them, it makes you think they are real but they aren't. Nobody is after you."
"They aren't after me this time."
"Then what are they after now?" he asked looking concerned
"What about Lindsey? Do they want you to be with her? Will that make them happy?" he asked as if he were talking to a child.
I feel angry now.
"No Frank, that won't fucking make them happy. I can't believe you still think that my wishes can control theirs. Just because I want something, doesn't mean they want the same thing. You need to understand!"
"Okay, okay, calm down sugar, I'm sorry. What do they want with Lindsey then."
"They want me to kill her."
We sat there in silence. His face was blank of any emotion.
After several minutes he spoke.
"Is this some kind of sick joke? What do you mean they want you to kill your wife?"
"What I just said. She must die."
"Have you beeen drinking?"
"No Frankie, I haven't touched a bottle in about a year."
"I think you should stay here tonight, it wouldn't be safe for her." he said while walking to the closet and getting an extra blanket.
"I don't want to do it Frank, but it's her or me. This will make everything better. They will leave me alone and you and I can be together."
"Gerard, think about what you just said."
"I've made my decision. I did it for us. I don't love her like I love you. I don't want them to kill me. She will understand."
"No, she will not. What are you even going to say to her? 'Honey, I'm sorry but I have to kill you. The voices in my head are telling me to kill you.' She's gonna flip out Gerard, killing someone isn't easy. You will be in trouble."
"Not if I have help."
"No, I'm not helping you kill your wife."
"You must Frank, you don't understant, this is dire."
"I can't take a life. It's not in me."
"Yeah, well, being chased by people isn't in me either."
"Yes it is! They aren't real Gee, and this is some serious shit! Were talking about MURDER here! Not a divorce, not admitting out love, MURDER! We can't just kill someone because the voices in your head are saying 'shoot that fucker down'.
"You will help me kill her, or they will make me get you."
"They make me do things Frankie."
"Let's just go to bed Gerard. We can talk in the morning." he said and kissed my lios tenderly.
"I love you, Frank."
"I love you too, Gee."