nightmares always haunt her... even in her safest place
as always shes sitting out on the porch
“Good morning butterfly!” she didn't sleep
her eyes are dark and shes slumped over her notebook
“shall we have another nap time this morning?”
I'm trying to get her to relax
she needs that one safe place
I want to be that safe place
she stands and immediately hugs my
I raise my arms in surprise, “hey are you okay?”
she nods and presses her cheek to my chest
“You wouldn't hate me.” she whispers.
I take her hands and look her in the eyes
“I would never hurt my butterfly.”
she smiles that real smile
like nothing bad ever happened
when she takes a deep breath and is ready
we start walking together hand in hand
she has such a sweet heart
I wish to help her run away but I cant
this morning shes constantly looking up at me
“so... why would I ever hate you?”
I break the silence and she looks at the ground
“well... um I'm bad.” she yawns.
We walk past the school without looking back
“how are you bad little one?”
she wont make eye contact with me anymore
“i... I cant say it... I wont.... its not true.”
she falls deep into her thoughts
I go into my house and she goes to her normal spot
I lay next to her and hold her
“but I love you.”
she closes her eyes and turns away from me
ill make her believe it...
I know she knows its true
I care for her so much.
* POV change *
I don't want to sleep
but the darkness washes over me
what did he say?
What were those words?
The man in my dreams stands over me
'love me!! say it!! say you love me!!'
the slaps and hits continue
when will it end
“i love you!! I love you!!”
I scream in panic
his hands slide over my body
they wont go away why wont they go away
suddenly theres a squeeze to my hand
Ben... where is he?
“Wake up... you're having a nightmare.”
I can hear him
slowly I open my eyes to look at him
I close them tight to keep in the tears
“but its not... its real Ben”
the tears flow down my cheeks and onto the pillow
* POV change *
I hold her close and rub her back
her tears soak into my shirt
“its okay... I'm here its only me
he wont get you here.”
she holds her breath
keeping in the pain never works
“please let it out... its okay here”
she shakes her head and curls up
a scared child thats all she is
“I'm here... I'm always here butterfly.
You're not in this alone.”