Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > The Lonely
My Skin
2 ReviewsContempt loves the silence It thrives in the dark With fine winding tendrils That strangle the heart
"Last night" Slash glanced up from sorting their clothes out as Axl came out of the bathroom, one threadbare towel wrapped tightly around his waist another in his hands drying his hair
"Yeh?" the guitarist grunted
"You said you never meant to break me and DJ up, that was clearly your intention" Axl stated, good nature in his voice before swearing as he managed to poke himself in the eye as Slash answered
"That was the plan and I never believed it would work but it did and now I feel really guilty about the whole thing" Axl's head tilted to the side as he considered Slash's answer, Slash pulled his jeans on and tightened the belt before meeting the singer's emeralds head on; this staring continued until Axl looked away picking up his own pile of clothes.
"Well I think we may have... umm"
"Got it out of our systems?" Slash supplied quietly as they descended the stairs, wishing he could believe his words but knowing they would never truly withdraw from one another
"Yeh" Axl murmured handing money to the woman at the desk, a different woman this time but with the same air of unfulfilled despair about her "Good luck with Myles" he wished as they departed from the depressing establishment and flagged down a couple of cabs Slash glanced at the singer before sigh-snorting
"Yeh... hope you get to talk to DJ, I’ll see you around. Sorry again" Axl's mouth curved into a wry smile and he waved at Slash before departing in his cab.
************
Throwing open the door the redhead strode into the venue, an hour or so earlier than he was needed but he didn't fancy remaining in his empty hotel room any longer, stewing on the night before nor did he want to answer the numerous texts or missed calls. A creak of moment from the dressing room caused the singer to jump; immediately on guard as he crept towards the door, pushing it open gently. DJ, just the person Axl hadn't wanted to see, was slumbering fitfully on the couch; the singer swallowed the lump that had just risen in his throat and backed out, eyes determinedly trained on the younger until he walked into a table. The object wobbled alarmingly and a heap of music sheets fluttered to the floor, the singer's hands flew out to steady the table before it could clatter to the floor following the sheets; the surface steadied and he let himself breathe again. He turned; the door was only a few steps away, relief swept through him only to be followed by a wave of cold dread as DJ's voice froze him in step "Axl?" he remained still for a moment before turning in resignation, DJ had sat up and was hugging his knees, wariness in his expression
"Yes?" the singer heard himself ask, barely even aware that his mouth had begun working, cursing himself for the cold tone
"Where'd you go?"
"I stayed at a hotel" he paused, adding at DJ's confused expression "A different one, I didn't wanna be found"
"We looked for you. Izzy, Duff, me, My..." his voice trailed off
"Myles?" Axl finished tartly, slight guilt flashed onto DJ's face briefly
"You never gave me a chance to explain about that" he murmured, Axl glared slightly before saying
"So explain" DJ's eyes darted up to his momentarily before they focused on a point to the left and drifted down until they were tracing the pattern of his socks
"We started talking over the internet through a mutual friend and we got on really well, he came over a few times and we worked on his new album a bit. He told me about separating from his wife, so I told him about what had happened with us. We both decided that it was high-time we had a night out together; we drank a little too much and we kissed, nothing else has ever happened..."
"Yeh cause me and Slash turned up" Axl interrupted, jealousy and anger bubbling corrosively at his false calm tone, getting the better of his tongue
"No, cause we're just friends" DJ finished, locking eyes with Axl as the singer spat sarcastically
"You looked real friendly last night"
"Don't act like I’ve done something wrong" DJ snapped, swinging his legs off the couch and reaching for his converses
"The only way you'd feel like you'd done something wrong DJ is if you have" Axl told him, hands curling into fists as DJ snapped
"Well I haven't" Axl remained silent, lips pressed together, teeth biting down on his tongue as he watched the younger lace up his shoes.
"We need to talk" he said quietly, a twinge of annoyance sparking as DJ sighed
"Are we gonna talk or are you gonna try and ban me from speaking to Myles?" he asked sarcastically, standing and walking around the couch to lean against it as the singer glared at him "This has nothing to do with Myles, it never has" he added
"Well it does now, you involved him"
"I involved him? Fine yeh, I involved him but if you hadn't kissed Slash in the first place none of this would have happened!"
"No, none of this would have happened if you hadn't let yourself get beaten up!" Axl snapped, volume on the increase as DJ stared at him incredulously
"Let myself? I didn't let myself get beaten up, and besides I never asked you to go and see Slash!" DJ snapped back, voice also rising as the singer glared at him.
Silence filled the room just long enough for them to recollect their thoughts before DJ threw up his hands in frustration and grabbed his jacket "So is that it? Are we over?" Axl asked quietly, fear tinging the edges of his anger; DJ paused, sighing as he reluctantly murmured
"I don't know" Axl sucked in a quiet breath, eyes closing as he looked away from the younger "Do you still want me?" he glanced up instantly, mouth forming words
"How could you think I don't?"
"You haven't spoken to me in over a month" DJ pointed out bluntly
"That doesn't matter. How could you think that I don't want you anymore? That I don't love you?" he paused, anger fast-fading now
"Axl..."
"Everything I’ve done for the past two years has been for you. All for you because you make me feel more than anyone else... and I can't ever apologize enough for kissing Slash but how could you think I don't love you?"
"Axl I never had any reason to doubt you until I found out about Slash, do you have any idea how much that hurt me?" The singer remained silent.
"I'll tell you, it's made me think that I’m not good enough for you. I’m not who you want, I’m just his replacement"
"You're no..." Axl started before DJ cut him off
"And it hurts, it hurts to think that but I can't stop myself from thinking it. Certainly not now, now I know you've slept together. I want you to be mine, mine Axl... not still thinking of Slash and the life you could have had with him because if you've forgotten I haven't, he left you remember? I may not have been there but I know that it screwed you up. The only way I want to replace him is in your heart and nowhere else. I wanna be the only one you think about" he finished, watching as Axl hid his face in his hands. The younger paused a moment before approaching the singer, Axl whimpered softly
"I don't know what you want, I don't know what you want me to say, I don't know what you want me to do, and I don't know how I can make this right"
"What do you want? DJ asked quietly
"I don't wanna lose you, I can't lose you" Axl answered, lowering his hands and locking eyes with the younger as DJ smiled a strange combination of a smirk and a sad smile
"Then just say you love me. And mean it"
"I do. I do. I love you, I’ve always meant it" DJ searched the singer's tear-filled eyes, apparently finding what he was searching he leant in and placed a soft kiss on Axl's lips, shushing him as he tried to stammer out an apology
"It's in the past, I forgive you and I love you Axl Rose" he murmured softly, taking the singer's face in warm hands and reattaching their lips.
"Yeh?" the guitarist grunted
"You said you never meant to break me and DJ up, that was clearly your intention" Axl stated, good nature in his voice before swearing as he managed to poke himself in the eye as Slash answered
"That was the plan and I never believed it would work but it did and now I feel really guilty about the whole thing" Axl's head tilted to the side as he considered Slash's answer, Slash pulled his jeans on and tightened the belt before meeting the singer's emeralds head on; this staring continued until Axl looked away picking up his own pile of clothes.
"Well I think we may have... umm"
"Got it out of our systems?" Slash supplied quietly as they descended the stairs, wishing he could believe his words but knowing they would never truly withdraw from one another
"Yeh" Axl murmured handing money to the woman at the desk, a different woman this time but with the same air of unfulfilled despair about her "Good luck with Myles" he wished as they departed from the depressing establishment and flagged down a couple of cabs Slash glanced at the singer before sigh-snorting
"Yeh... hope you get to talk to DJ, I’ll see you around. Sorry again" Axl's mouth curved into a wry smile and he waved at Slash before departing in his cab.
************
Throwing open the door the redhead strode into the venue, an hour or so earlier than he was needed but he didn't fancy remaining in his empty hotel room any longer, stewing on the night before nor did he want to answer the numerous texts or missed calls. A creak of moment from the dressing room caused the singer to jump; immediately on guard as he crept towards the door, pushing it open gently. DJ, just the person Axl hadn't wanted to see, was slumbering fitfully on the couch; the singer swallowed the lump that had just risen in his throat and backed out, eyes determinedly trained on the younger until he walked into a table. The object wobbled alarmingly and a heap of music sheets fluttered to the floor, the singer's hands flew out to steady the table before it could clatter to the floor following the sheets; the surface steadied and he let himself breathe again. He turned; the door was only a few steps away, relief swept through him only to be followed by a wave of cold dread as DJ's voice froze him in step "Axl?" he remained still for a moment before turning in resignation, DJ had sat up and was hugging his knees, wariness in his expression
"Yes?" the singer heard himself ask, barely even aware that his mouth had begun working, cursing himself for the cold tone
"Where'd you go?"
"I stayed at a hotel" he paused, adding at DJ's confused expression "A different one, I didn't wanna be found"
"We looked for you. Izzy, Duff, me, My..." his voice trailed off
"Myles?" Axl finished tartly, slight guilt flashed onto DJ's face briefly
"You never gave me a chance to explain about that" he murmured, Axl glared slightly before saying
"So explain" DJ's eyes darted up to his momentarily before they focused on a point to the left and drifted down until they were tracing the pattern of his socks
"We started talking over the internet through a mutual friend and we got on really well, he came over a few times and we worked on his new album a bit. He told me about separating from his wife, so I told him about what had happened with us. We both decided that it was high-time we had a night out together; we drank a little too much and we kissed, nothing else has ever happened..."
"Yeh cause me and Slash turned up" Axl interrupted, jealousy and anger bubbling corrosively at his false calm tone, getting the better of his tongue
"No, cause we're just friends" DJ finished, locking eyes with Axl as the singer spat sarcastically
"You looked real friendly last night"
"Don't act like I’ve done something wrong" DJ snapped, swinging his legs off the couch and reaching for his converses
"The only way you'd feel like you'd done something wrong DJ is if you have" Axl told him, hands curling into fists as DJ snapped
"Well I haven't" Axl remained silent, lips pressed together, teeth biting down on his tongue as he watched the younger lace up his shoes.
"We need to talk" he said quietly, a twinge of annoyance sparking as DJ sighed
"Are we gonna talk or are you gonna try and ban me from speaking to Myles?" he asked sarcastically, standing and walking around the couch to lean against it as the singer glared at him "This has nothing to do with Myles, it never has" he added
"Well it does now, you involved him"
"I involved him? Fine yeh, I involved him but if you hadn't kissed Slash in the first place none of this would have happened!"
"No, none of this would have happened if you hadn't let yourself get beaten up!" Axl snapped, volume on the increase as DJ stared at him incredulously
"Let myself? I didn't let myself get beaten up, and besides I never asked you to go and see Slash!" DJ snapped back, voice also rising as the singer glared at him.
Silence filled the room just long enough for them to recollect their thoughts before DJ threw up his hands in frustration and grabbed his jacket "So is that it? Are we over?" Axl asked quietly, fear tinging the edges of his anger; DJ paused, sighing as he reluctantly murmured
"I don't know" Axl sucked in a quiet breath, eyes closing as he looked away from the younger "Do you still want me?" he glanced up instantly, mouth forming words
"How could you think I don't?"
"You haven't spoken to me in over a month" DJ pointed out bluntly
"That doesn't matter. How could you think that I don't want you anymore? That I don't love you?" he paused, anger fast-fading now
"Axl..."
"Everything I’ve done for the past two years has been for you. All for you because you make me feel more than anyone else... and I can't ever apologize enough for kissing Slash but how could you think I don't love you?"
"Axl I never had any reason to doubt you until I found out about Slash, do you have any idea how much that hurt me?" The singer remained silent.
"I'll tell you, it's made me think that I’m not good enough for you. I’m not who you want, I’m just his replacement"
"You're no..." Axl started before DJ cut him off
"And it hurts, it hurts to think that but I can't stop myself from thinking it. Certainly not now, now I know you've slept together. I want you to be mine, mine Axl... not still thinking of Slash and the life you could have had with him because if you've forgotten I haven't, he left you remember? I may not have been there but I know that it screwed you up. The only way I want to replace him is in your heart and nowhere else. I wanna be the only one you think about" he finished, watching as Axl hid his face in his hands. The younger paused a moment before approaching the singer, Axl whimpered softly
"I don't know what you want, I don't know what you want me to say, I don't know what you want me to do, and I don't know how I can make this right"
"What do you want? DJ asked quietly
"I don't wanna lose you, I can't lose you" Axl answered, lowering his hands and locking eyes with the younger as DJ smiled a strange combination of a smirk and a sad smile
"Then just say you love me. And mean it"
"I do. I do. I love you, I’ve always meant it" DJ searched the singer's tear-filled eyes, apparently finding what he was searching he leant in and placed a soft kiss on Axl's lips, shushing him as he tried to stammer out an apology
"It's in the past, I forgive you and I love you Axl Rose" he murmured softly, taking the singer's face in warm hands and reattaching their lips.
Log in to rate and review this story