Did I like Frank?
This update took a lot longer than Ithought it would, but here it is!
I just finished styling my hair when Iheard a car pull up in the driveway. Who on earth could that be? It was barely after six thirty in the morning. I walked over to the window and looked out to see Gerard's car. That was even odder. There was no point wondering about it. Ihurriedly shoved my feet into a pair of dirty old converse and made my way down stairs.
"Frank, are you leaving?" my mother called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, bye, Mom!" I called back, opening the front door and stepping out of the house.
I was halfway down the garden path before Istopped walking, surprised to see Gerard leaning casually against his car, coffee in hand and eyes covered with large sunglasses.
"Morning, Gee," I greeted him wearily, approaching him.
"Hey, Frank," he nodded in response.
I finally reached him and watched him curiously, trying to figure out what he was doing at my house when as far as Iwas concerned he was still mad at me. Suddenly he reached out another cup of coffee to me.
My heart swelled with happiness.
"Thanks," I muttered a little stunned, accepting the coffee and taking a sip.
As the silence dragged on, I couldn't help a broad grin spreading across my face.
"Yeah, I was waiting for that," he chuckled.
"So we're cool?" I checked just to be certain.
Gerard put his coffee down on the hood of his car and turned to me with a smile.
"Of course, Frankie," he smirked, grabbing me around the neck and ruffling my hair.
"Ah, fuck, Gerard!" I swore, because his actions were unexpected and caused me to drop the coffee in my hand, spilling its contents all over the driveway and besides that, he was messing up my hair that I just fixed. He let go and picked his coffee back up. "Come on. We don't want to be late for work and I have to swing by the house again to pick up Mikey."
"Hey, Gee I don't mean to push my luck," I started, getting in on the passenger's side. "But why the sudden forgiveness?"
"I'll be honest, I might have forgiven you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still mad, because I am at both you and Brittany and for various reasons."
"Because you're both acting like children!"the raven-haired male exclaimed sternly. "Really, Frank? Just sleeping together? What...? I don't even want to know," he said with a shake of his head. "To top it all off, she has a damn boyfriend."
I resisted the urge to grumble at this.
"In my defense, I didn't know."
"I know you didn't know and that's another reason I'm mad at Brittany. I didn't expect this from her. I know my sister is no saint, but this is just too much."
"She's still young though," I subconsciously pointed out. "She's still learning."
"Yeah, but she needs to grow the fuck up,"Gerard growled. "Life isn't going to wait for her. I know it's not like she committed a murder or something, but screwing around in high school... what if she gets pregnant? Then what? She'll never get anywhere, because she'll have to spend the rest of her life raising an illegitimate child instead of making something out of her life."
I didn't respond. The car stopped in front of the Way's house and he honked loudly. The front door swung open and Mikey stepped out, jogging across the lawn towards us. He hopped into the back seat and greeted me cheerily.
"Hey, Frank. You guys ready for another long day in the studio? I can't wait for this record to be finished and out on the streets. We are going to be the best fucking band ever!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.
"I like your enthusiasm," I grinned broadly. "I'm going to need it when I go into recording today."
The drive to the small studio seemed faster than it did the last week, but maybe it was due to the fact that the air between Gerard and I was clear. I suddenly looked forward to the day ahead.
"I have the best sister in the world," Mike declared when I showed up at the studio around lunch time with a paper bag full of food.
"I brought enough for all of you and extras for anyone who might be helping you with recording," I informed him as he took the bag from me and smelled the food.
"I'm starving," he announced walking deeper into the room. "You know, Brit if you weren't my sister and I didn't already have a girlfriend, I would marry you right now."
"Yeah," I said, pulling a face. "I'm going to go look for Gerard."
"Are you guys talking again?"
His question surprised me and he must've seen this on my face, because he continued, "Like I wouldn't notice that you two are fighting. He's out back having a coffee and smoke break. I swear Ithought he was addicted to the stuff before, but lately, if it were possible, our dear brother would O/D on the two substances, especially caffeine."
I chuckled, leaving the room and exiting the building through the backdoor.
"Hey, Gerard," I greeted my big brother."Aren't you cold out here?"
He looked at me and gave me a small smile."No, the coffee warms me up from inside," he told me, bringing the cup to his lips as if to emphasize his point.
"I brought food," I told him, stuffing my hands in my pockets and hunching my shoulders up against the sudden cold weather of New Jersey. A few weeks ago it still felt like summer, but nowadays it never stopped raining and it became quite cold outside. "You might want to hurry inside before Mikey eats everything. Apparently he's starving." I attempted to make small talk. In truth, I was testing the waters. I wanted to see how far I could go before he snapped or cut me off.
"Brit, you can relax. I'm not going to bite," Gerard assured me calmly.
"You're not?" I gaped at him.
I was so sure that he was still mad at me and yet here he was all cool and collected.
"Aren't you still mad at me?" I wondered carefully, because I didn't want to push the wrong buttons.
"I am, but I can't ignore you forever," he explained, flicking ash from his cigarette onto the dirty gravel of the back parking lot. "But you need to fix things," he stated firmly. "This current set-up isn't working."
"Don't worry, Frank isn't talking to me anyway so there's really no problem anymore," I muttered grudgingly.
"Yeah, but, Brittany you can't even blame him for not wanting to talk to you. I know you guys weren't official or anything, I know that now, but you were leading him on."
"What do you suggest I do, go on my knees and beg for his forgiveness?" I asked smartly, because that was not going to happen. I still had my dignity.
He chuckled lightly, "I know you would never do that. You would rather keep your pride and lose Frank in the process than offer up your dignity for his forgiveness."
I gaped at him, shocked at how close he got it.
"I told Frank this morning that you need to grow up," he continued and I gritted my teeth, biting my tongue to keep from spitting venom over the fact that once again Frank enjoyed favor over me. Iprobably should've guessed that Gerard would forgive Frank before he would forgive me, but it was so unfair.
"You need to figure out what you want. You can't keep two guys dangling. It's not fair to either of them. Dating two guys at the same time might have been cute when you were sixteen, but since then Iwould hope that you've grown up a little. People have feelings, you know?"
"I know, but Gee..."
"You're going to have to choose," he continued, cutting me off.
"What?" I gaped at him in confusion. By now he probably thought that I was a fish on dry land considering how much I've been gaping at him. He just continued to catch me off guard.
"You heard me," he said with certainty. "And you know I'm right."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Tray is my boyfriend."
"Yes, but do you still want him to be?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.
Gerard sighed deeply. "I don't know if you're just lying to me or if you're lying to yourself as well."
Now I was thoroughly confused. What on earth was he getting at?
"You care about Frank and there's nothing wrong with that. Honestly, I don't have a problem with it if you guys to decide to get together..."
I let out a humorless laugh, "Uhm, what?"
Gerard stomped out his cigarette with another sigh and looked me dead in the eyes.
"You didn't see your reaction when I hit Frank."
"I was the one who reacted and I told you that I was going to kick your ass."
"And your facial expression assured me that you meant every word," he stated.
"So?" Maybe I was being slow, but I still didn't see where he was going with this.
"You were being protective. The look on your face when I hit him said it all. You were upset at the prospect of Frank being hurt and that is why you reacted so strongly," my brother explained.
"Yeah, I was shocked that you punched your own best friend. Big deal."
"Think of it what you want, Brittany, but I'm telling you that you need to figure it out. You need to think long and hard about what you're going to do. Fix it."
With that he crumpled up his empty coffee cup and tossed it in a nearby trash can before heading back to the studio.
It felt like he just emptied a bucket of icy water over me. Was he right in suspecting that I had deeper feelings for Frank? Did I like Frank?
"I am not going to lose to a girl," I said, laughing as I rolled us over and pinned Amy's hands above her head.
"That's so sexist," she retorted, managing to get her hands free and push me off her.
I waved my forefinger at her, "Uh-uh-uh, I'm watching movie."
With that I sat back against her bed's headboard and tried to focus on the television screen, but the beautiful blonde clearly had other plans.
"Amy, stop it," I giggled as she hit me with a pillow. "I'm telling you that I'm not kidding..."
There was a loud ringing and I answered my phone without checking the caller ID.
"Frank?" the voice sounded surprised.
It was Brittany and I wasn't even shocked to hear the surprise in her voice. She probably couldn't believe that Iactually picked up since I haven't answered any one of her previous one hundred and ten calls. Okay, maybe it was only like thirteen or fourteen calls, but the point was that this is the first time I've spoken to her since our fall out about a week ago.
"Stop it," I said, looking up at Amy who was playfully pinching my cheeks. "No, don't do that," I giggled when she climbed on top of me and poked my sides. Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I turned my attention back to the phone call. "What do you want, Brittany?"
"Can we talk?"
"Uhm," I grabbed one of Amy's hands and held it to my chest. "I'm kind of busy at the moment."
"Come on, Frank. You have to talk to me sooner or later. We have to discuss this," Brittany said firmly.
"Why?" I wanted to know and Amy stopped pestering me, looking at me questioningly.
There was a brief pause at the other end and then she simply said, "Because."
"Look, Brittany I'm honestly busy right now, but we'll talk eventually," I told her, hanging up and dropping the phone back on the bedside table.
I wasn't being childish, but until Brittany knew what she wanted I wasn't going to talk to her. I didn't expect an apology, but maybe I needed to hear her admit that what she did was wrong. After that, the best of luck to her and her boyfriend.
We got to know each other a lot better in the six weeks we were sleeping together. As soon as we talked this through we could be friends. There were no guarantees that we'd never fight, let's not expect a miracle now, but we could get along. We were past the point of childish bickering as Gerard called it. We could be civilized towards each other from now on.
"What did Brittany want?" Amy wanted to know when I didn't say anything.
"She wants to talk."
"Well," I started as the female slid off of me and made herself comfortable next to me on the bed. "I'm guessing she wants to talk about her boyfriend and us."
"Why? You saw her kiss him. What could she possibly say to make up for that or at least to fix the problem?" Amy wondered incredulously.
"Because," I gave her Brittany's answer. "I don't know, but she's right. We should probably talk at some point or another. Maybe then things can go back to normal."
"Back to when you guys were still sleeping together?" the blonde asked tentatively.
I looked over at her in slight wonder.
"No, I doubt that. I'd like to give myself more credit and assume that I won't be stupid enough to get drawn in a second time. Why do you ask?"
She shifted awkwardly and avoided making eye contact.
"I like you, Frank. You're a good guy. You deserve better than to be someone's boy toy," she told me earnestly.
"I would really like to kiss you right now," I murmured quietly.
It was true, I really did want to kiss her in that moment. No, I wasn't some gullible teeny who fell for sweet words spoken. I believed every word Amy said. I trusted her to no end. She was gorgeous and I was very attracted to her. This was true since the first time Isaw her. Her steel grey eyes mesmerized me even now.
"Then do it," she said barely above awhisper, leaning in and pressing her lips to mine.
They were soft and perfectly shaped. Kissing Amy felt good. It felt natural, uncomplicated. It felt right. There was no rush and it wasn't out of pure lust. It was different from when I kissed Brittany...
"Wait, Amy..." I murmured, kissing her deeply one last time before pulling away. "Stop, I can't." I kept one hand resting against her cheek as I looked at her apologetically and attempted to catch my breath. "I'm sorry, but this isn't right."
The female stared back at me slightly wide-eyed and cheeks flushed. Even in this current state she seemed irresistible.
"I'm such an ass," I muttered to myself. My thoughts and feelings were torn between Brittany and the beautiful female still lying in my arms. "I can't...can't do this to you, Amy. I'm sorry."
"What are you talking about?" she wanted to know confused.
I looked at her for a while, contemplating whether I should tell her the truth or not, and then said, "If you repeat what I'm about to tell you to anyone, I will strongly deny it, but... I'm not over Brittany."
Amy pulled back and stared at me in surprise.
"Yeah, I know," I chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. "I actually have feelings for her. But I like you, Amy, I really do, but until I've sorted out my shit with her, I don't think we should start anything. I mean, I don't want to lead you on or hurt you in any way, though that's probably exactly what I'm doing already."
"Frank, stop," she said quietly, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. I understand and I'll be patient, but I'm not going to wait forever."
"I understand," I nodded almost sadly, because in the end I'll have to choose one of them meaning that I will inevitably lose one or the other and that was not a pleasant thought. It definitely wasn't something I looked forward to.
So this was the last slow chapter... That's all I'm going to give you. The next chapter is already planned out in my head. If I'm not too lazy, it ought to be up before the end of the weekend. Thanks abunch for the comments on the previous chapter!
P.S. I just love, love, LOVE Conventional Weapons! I'm jumping up and down and singing along loudly the entire time. I can't wait for the next set to be released!