The envelope said [/'To my Gracie'/] in her mother's handwriting.
Chapter Fifty Four - Letters
"You're fucking kidding me right?" Curse almost screamed.
"You think I'd joke about something like this, Curse?" Stormed screamed back.
"I think you wanna get out of here because you're sick of it."
"And you think I'd use Silk as an exuse to do that?! I love her, Curse, I would even fucking dream of using her as an exuse just to get out of here when I can leave any god damn time I want to!"
"Guys, calm down." Violet said calmly.
Curse closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "You're one hundred percent sure about this? You're sure it's not just faulty information like it was last time?"
"It seems pretty reliable, Curse. This was from Feline, she wouldn't lie about that." Feline was a good friend of Storm's who'd said that she'd heard things about Silk and rumours that she'd been spotted in Zone one a few times the past few weeks. Storm wanted to go looking for her, but because of Acid, Curse was reluctant to leave again.
"I don't want to leave." He said simply.
"Yeah, 'cause you wanna stay with your fuckin' precious little Acid." She muttered bitterly.
"Don't talk about her that way, I don't talk badly about Silk so shut the fuck up, Storm."
"Yeah, you don't talk badly about her because she was a good person who wouldn't hurt a fucking fly. Acid's a murdering bitch who's clearly leading you on."
"You don't know her so stop acting like you fucking do." Curse said through clentched teeth.
"Bite me, asshole."
"Will you two please just shut the fuck up?!" Blondie screamed at her brother and friend.
"Look, you know I loved, and still do love, Silk like she was a sister, but I don't wanna leave either. I have friends here, I have Ghoul here. He's the first person that's genuinely made me happy in a while now."
"I know that and I wouldn't ask you to give that up . . . we'd come back, we'd just be looking for her for a little while." Storm promised.
"That's still a long time."
"We could find her, Vi."
"Yeah and then what? We'd all just go back to a different Zone and I don't wanna do that. I wanna stay here with Ghoul, Storm."
"I don't mean to sound like a heartless bitch here, but . . . Storm, it's been over a year since she left."
"What the fuck are you trying to say?"
"We've gotten so many 'clues' that've turned out to be nothing. We need to start considering the fact that Silk might be dead. I know that-"
"No, she is not dead!"
"We don't know that."
"Oh so you're just giving up on her?"
"I'm not giving up on her, I'm just looking at the other possibilities here."
"People've seen her with their own eyes, people who we trust. I'd rather go looking for her and waste my own fuckin' time than wonder what always could've happened if we didn't go looking."
"That's my point, you're not just wasting your own time here, Storm! All of our time is being wasted."
"I've never asked you to come with me, most of the time you've wanted to come looking for her and so you've come with me."
"Then why are you asking us to come now?"
"Because it'll be a whole lot quicker with more people looking for her."
"Will you all shut the fuck up?" Light screamed, capturing all of their attention. "Look, you're all making this harder than it actually is. You're either helping to look for her or you're not, end of story."
"I'm going." Storm said.
Everyone, except for Violet and Curse seemed to have decided that they were leaving to look for Silk.
"Blondie, Sunny . . . you're going?"
"She saved our lives a few times, Curse. We owe her."
"What about us, huh? You're just gonna leave us?" Violet's arms were crossed and tucked into her chest.
"It's not like we're leaving you here to die, you're with Killjoys who'll protect you here."
It was agony for Violet. They were all her sisters, but then there was Ghoul. She cared about him a lot and she wanted to be with him.
"The second we're done in Zone one, we can come back here. You can be with Ghoul again and if she really means that much to Curse, he can be with Acid again. We can always come back."
She let a few tears escape. "Fine, I'll go."
"Violet, you don't-"
"Curse . . . I love you, but please shut the fuck up right now. I've made my choice and I don't want you to make me reconsider it."
He nodded. "I won't."
He looked at them all for a moment. All of them had been family, even though not all of them shared the same blood that he did. He didn't want to be like his father and just leave them. He never wanted to be like his father.
He took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll go."
"You will?" Storm asked, making sure.
"Yeah, I will."
She hugged him. "Thank you."
Grace was looking through some of her mother's stuff to try and find information on her father.
"Why you wanna look through this stuff anyways, Gracie?" Dr. Death asked his granddaughter.
She shrugged. "I just wanna know more about mom." Lying was a skill she'd perfected over the years.
"By that do you mean you wanna know more 'bout your real dad?"
"How did you-"
"Poison talks. He says you've been mentionin' him a lot lately."
"Yeah . . . I guess I kind of have."
"I'd say you can ask me anythin' 'bout it, but I never met the kid. Your grandma Chris did, though. Why you wanna know 'bout him all of a sudden, Gracie?"
She shrugged. "I just wanna know more about him. Besides, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't exist. I kinda want to know more about the person whose partially responsible to my existance."
It made sense to Dr. Death, so he just nodded and left the room. Grace expected her grandfather to come back, but Poison was the one who walked back in.
She smiled. "Hey."
"Hi . . . Dr. Death just told me you're looking through your mom's stuff to try and find out more about your dad." He paused, but didn't give her enough time to reply. "Grace, if I give you something . . . you promise me that you're ready for it?"
She was weary. "Depends on what it is."
"Your mom . . . just after she was shot, she understood there was a possibility that she could die. She was optimistic and tried to stay positive about it, but she wrote a note to you just incase she didn't pull through. She told me to give it to you when you were eighteen, but if you're sure you're one hundred percent ready for it . . . I'll give you the note."
She was shocked. Her mother had written her a note? She didn't remember her mother being that active after she was shot, was it even possible for her to write a note in her condition? She didn't know and she didn't care, she just wanted to read the note her late mother had written to her daughter.
"I'm ready and I want the note." There was no doubt in her mind.
"You're one hundred percent sure?"
She nodded vigorously. "I'm more than sure."
Poison nodded and came back seconds with the note. The envelope said 'To my Gracie' in her mother's handwriting. It was messy, but since her mother was in pretty bad condition when she wrote the note, it was understandable as to why it was that way.
Grace carefully tore open the note, her eyes scanning the words.
I hope that you never ever have to read this note, but if you do and I'm not here with you, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, honey. I can't even begin to tell you how guilty and sorry I am for being stupid and getting caught while Dracs were around. I should've known better, scratch that I do know better. I just had a stupid moment for a split second and it was enough for me to get shot.
Moving on, I told Poison to give you this note when you turn eighteen, but knowing Poison he cracked and gave it you early. Either way, you're probably all grown up now, I know Poison wouldn't give you this while you were still only little. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, Gracie. You're my whole world and I love you more than anything or anyone on this planet. As long as I had you by my side, I was one hundred percent happy. You're the one who made me so happy and I can honestly say you're the best thing I ever did.
You probably have some questions and I'll try my best to answer them. I know one of those things is going to be about your dad and who he is. You asked me questions about me when you were little, but you probably don't remember and you were too young to understand.
He's called David Lufrini. We hated eachother for a while, but we eventually became friends and we got together. He was a nice guy to begin with, but my mom didn't want me to be with him and his family didn't want him to be with me either. As stupid as it sounds, the more they told us we couldn't be together, the more we wanted to be together. It almost felt like a much less romantic version of Romeo and Juilet to me at the time.
When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out and I told David. To begin with, he was supportive and said he loved both me and our baby, a.k.a you. He promised he'd be there for us, but then he told his family. They bassically told him to ditch us, they even offered me a lot of money to get rid of you and to keep my mouth shut about it. I didn't take the money and obviously I kept you.
I thought about adoption, I'm not gonna lie about it. I tried to tell my mom, but she was in a relationship with an asshole and he used to abuse me. I was scared he'd hurt me for getting pregnant, I was scared he'd hurt you. I ran away from home, I didn't see anything to stay for. My mom would've disowned me for getting pregnant, her husband would just hurt me, I barely ever saw my dad and David didn't want to be involved anymore. It seemed pointless to stay.
I gave birth to you in the December of 2010, the second I saw you I fell in love with you. The second I saw you, you became my everything.
For a girl living in a one bedroom apartment who'd just turned sixteen, I wasn't really doing a bad job of raising you. You were five months old I'd just gotten you to go to sleep when David knocked on my door. I wasn't expecting him, but there he was. I didn't know how he found me, but I was too shocked to ask him. All he really wanted was to see you, he kept saying something was going to happen soon and he wouldn't be able to see you or me again. He couldn't tell me much about it, he just said to stay clear of the area in 2012. It didn't make sense at the time, but I think he was talking about the bombs. I think he was trying to protect you from them.
He even held you when you woke up from your nap. While he may have left us both, I knew he loved you. I could see it in his eyes when he held you in his arms. I didn't blame him for loving you, I knew just how incredibly easy it was to fall in love with you, Grace.
He stayed for a while with us and he wouldn't stop apologizing for not being there. The inner hopless romantic in me came out and said it wasn't too late for the three of us to be a family. I was still stupid enough to take him back after he'd left us and I hoped he'd take advantage of my stupidity and stay with us. But then he told me that it was too late, that he couldn't stay because of his idiotic family and their expectations. I lost my temper and told him to go fuck his family, but he still defended them after calling them idiots. I just told him to get out and he didn't fight back. A part of me wished that he had, but he just walked out of our lives as quickly as he walked in. He didn't even hesitate.
I carried on as normal for a while, but a month before it turned 2012, I remembered that had warned me. I was tempted to just ignore what he'd said about leaving the area, but I knew David. He seemed panicked when he told me and he wasn't one to freak out for no good reason. On the off chance something did happen, I left. Nothing happened until the 21st December. That's when the bombs happened, but I'm sure you already knew that.
After the bombs, you know the story from there. We struggled for a while and we were even on the brink of death, but thank god Poison, Ghoully, Jet and Kobra found us. They brought us back to your grandpa and we got to be a family for a little while. For a little while, you had a mom, Poison was like a father to you, Kobra, Ghoul, Jet and Show Pony were like your uncles and obviously Dr. Death was your grandfather. I was glad you got a taste of what it was like to have a real family. Now I know that if I do end up dying, I'm leaving you with a family and people who love and care about you so so much, Gracie.
If I don't make it, I know they'll all give you a good life, Grace. Poison's a great father to you, Ghoul, Jet, Kobra and Show are great uncles and I know how much your grandpa loves you. You're his world just like you were and still are my world. I hope I can be there to watch you live an amazing life, Grace. I love you so much, even if I'm not there by your side, you'll always have my heart and my love. No matter what, they both stay there with you, even in live and death.
My love always,
- Mom xoxo
By the end of the letter, she didn't care about David anymore. It was just her mother she wanted at that moment. She wanted to see her again, to wrap her arms around her and tell her she loved her too. She would've given anything for that to happen. She whipped away the tears coming out of her eyes.
Poison just wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know what the letter said, but he knew it was probably Layla telling Grace how much she loved her.
"I miss her a lot, Poison."
He kissed her forehead. "I know, I miss her too. I miss her too." He repeated.
She took a deep breath, hoping the tears would stop soon.
"Been better, but yeah, I guess I'm okay."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "I'd rather not right now. I just wanna try and relax."
"Okay. If you change your mind, you're more than welcome to. I know it's hard to think about people you've lost, but don't be afraid to talk to me about it."
"I won't. If I change my mind, you'll be be first to know. I love you, Poison."
"Love you too, Grace. I love you too."
After the small fight they'd had, Light angrily stormed out of the building and went outside for some time alone. Jet noticed that she'd stormed out and went to see what was wrong with her.
"Hey, are you okay?"
She sighed. "Been a lot fuckin' better actually."
"We're leaving the diner to go look for Storm's girlfriend, Silk. You know the whole deal with her, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, Curse's explained it a few times now."
"I just . . . I'm sick of leaving the second we actually settle down in one place. So fuckin' sick of it."
"You're always welocome to stay here if you don't wanna leave." Jet had a thing for Light and they'd been a little flirty in the time she'd stayed there.
"I've gotta go. She was an incredible Killjoy and she's saved pretty much all of our lives at some point. We wanna find her, but I think we need to start thinking about the fact that she might be . . . gone." She couldn't bring herself to say dead. It didn't feel right, not to her.
He nodded. "I understand. It's been like what, a year since you last saw her?"
Light nodded. "Yup, a little over a year now. I don't wanna accept the fact that she's gone, but I think it's possibility."
"I actually kind of understand what Storm's feeling like."
"Something similar happen to you?"
"Kind of. A girlfriend of mine, Jessey, was suffering from cancer a few years ago. She knew she was gonna die, she'd accepted it when she first found out, but I wasn't having any of it. I'd convinced myself that I was gonna save her, that I was gonna make her better, but I didn't. She wanted me to accept it. She said she wanted me to accept it so she could start helping me through it before she was gone completely, but I didn't listen. I just insistead I'd help her, but I didn't. I just wasted the time that I had left with her because I was being stubborn . . . so kind of similiar to what Storm's feeling right now. She just doesn't want to accept the fact that she's dead."
"I'm so sorry, I had no clue."
"Yeah, I'm sorry too."
"Y'know, I'm kind of mixed about it. Sometimes I feel like I should just accept that she's gone and others I feel like fighting to find her. We don't even know if she's alive right now."
"Do you think it's likely that she's still alive?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I would've said yes, she's one tough cookie to crack, but it's just been so long . . . I just don't even know anymore in all honesty."
Jet hugged her, attempting to comfort her. "I'm sure that what ever you do, it'll be the right thing. Everything happens for a reason."
She smiled and hugged back. "Yeah, I guess it does."