when the work isnt complete punishment must happen
My brother who sleeps across the hall slowly opens my door. I only know it's him because he's the one who always comes to help me after mother punishes me in the morning. He makes it over to the bed and without warning me places a cold whet rag over my back.
The only words i can find to say other than thank you is, "No blood this time."
"No there isn't," he responds immediatly, "but what she does to you is wrong... you're too young for any punishment like this."
I want to protest but I already know in the end he will win. As much as he believes i don't I know I deserve these daily punishments mother gives me. No matter the reason I know i deserve it. He's the only one in the house who doesnt think i do. Maybe dad would think so too if he knew but thats one thing i will never allow him or anyone else outside of this house to find out.
When he's done helping me with my back I change into my chore clothes and go down to the kitchen. Mom's already made the dish water... so nice of her. She knows how much I can't handle hot water thats the only reason she makes it. I drag a chair over to the sink and step up on it. Standing over the steam I try to brace myself for the heat but as always she's already coming for me.
"What's taking you so long?!" she yells storming into the kitchen, "Don't just stand there get started!" she smacks me across the face causing me to almost fall off the chair, "Now start or I will beat the shit out of you... you dont have to see your father."
Hearing those words I quickly face the water and dip my hands in the water flinching witht the sudden heat on my hands. I try to wash them as fast as possible to make it stop but mom looks over every dish making sure they look clean enough. Whenever she finds any with spots on it she smack the back of my head and throws it back in the water. This is a rutain we go through everyday.
When it's finally over and I'm done I jump off the chair and move it back to the table. Looking around the room I find the broom to quickly sweep and mop. This is the easiest part. I know I can do this part right. Mom never gets mad for this until someone walks through the room again. As I finish my other brother comes in picks me up and pulls me out of the room.
I let out a scream and kick my legs, "Put me down! Gerard stop! You're hurting me!"
Gerard laughs and bites my shoulder hard making me go quiet, "No. That was from me. It's not my fault you were in trouble this morning. Now stop struggling. we need you to do the gardening outsid befor it rains." he pulls me outside until we're standing in front of mom who's holding a bottle of beer.
"Now Gerard I want you and Mikey to finish the mowing and Kelsey you're doing all the weed pulling. Don't leave any behind I will be checking." she sits in her lawn chair and watches as we go to our areas to do the chores assighned and sips her beer.
Glancing over at Mikey he gives me a smile and I start my work. With them out here I'm not worried that mom's drinking. Without them around I always have panic attacks when she begins. I don't understand why she must during the day or when daddys coming home tomorrow. Nothing ever gets done right this way.
As the sun gets higher in the sky the boys finish the mowing and goes in for drinks, "Hey Kels I'll bring you something soon. Just try to finish okay?"
I nod and go to the veggitable garden to start there as mom follows me, "You're doing nicely today Kelsey. Why so happy?" she askes finishing her sixth beer since we've been outside.
I pull at the weeds trying to control my breathing to sound normal when I answer her, "Daddy.."
I begin and she suddenly cut me off smacking me in the back of the head, "Look at me when I'm talking to you! Do you love him more Kelsey?!?"
I slowly turn to face her starting to panic more, "I... I love you too... I promise mommy."
She smacks my in the face making me fall into the dirt, "Don't fucking lie to me Kelsey! I'm your mother!" she raises her hand again ready to hit me as Mikey comes out with a glass of water for me.
She stops and faces him smiling acting like he doesn't know how she is toward me, "Oh sweety thats so sweet of you to help her." she heads back to her seat on the porch drinking her beer down.
"Are you okay?" Mikey asks handing me the water.
I take the water and drink it down, "I'm fine. she was asking me about daddy."
He rubs my cheek and presses on the redness lightly, "It's re Kels... what did I tell you about lying to me? How can i help when you lie?"
"I just... I answered wrong thats all. You went inside Mikey." I reply seeing her come towards us.
"Time for Kelsey to finish her work... go shower sweety... your dad will be back late tonight." Mikey nods and walks back up to the house and the two of us watch him, "You know what this means right Kelsey? If you don't finish I will make you stay in your room. Understand?" she warns turning back to me.
I swallow hard and get back to work trying to go as fast as I can. She laughs and walks away. My panic attack starts returning to me when I can no longer find any weeds. If she finds any I'll be in trouble. I want to see daddy. I don't want to be stuck in my room again. I quickly crawl through the garden row by row over and over until my moms standing in front of me.
"What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to be a dog or something?" I slowly look up at her and try not to whimper but the sound escapes my mouth, "So thats it huh? You're just a bitch now? Fine. Go inside. Get a shower and go to your room. I'll check on the gardens."
I wanted so badly to protest but I knew if I did I would be in trouble for sure so I just did as she said and slowly went inside. I went straight to my room and into the shower. I wanted nothing to do with Gerard's jokes and I knew Mikey went to his friends house like he does every saturday. When I'm done showering i quickly go to my room close my door and lay down.