He should have checked the date on the box of condoms.
"What are we having tonight sweetheart?"
"Oh shut up Bren. You know you're here tonight to help me celebrate the success of my new branch. I'm afraid my Italian Bellissima Sangiovese from Antinori has knocked your Bordeaux Or de Raisens Cabernet Sauvignon out of the running." Ryan teased as he dug around in the cherry wood drawer of the marble island of his spacious California ranch house kitchen for a cork screw.
"Yeah, we'll see about that when my Vrug van die Kaap line of Constantania hits the market." Brendon scoffed, ruffling his boyfriend's hair as he poured his newest fine wine into glasses. Ryan had worked hard for the past few years to establish a new vineyard in Tuscany and it was now coming to fruition with his Bellissima creations.
"Please, you are well aware that I'll be working in South Africa soon enough just like you." Ryan retorted coolly. "Why do you think I was there at the same time you were last week?"
"Oh, I could swear it had more to do with than scouting new territory sweetheart. Maybe something to do with this?" Brendon questioned smugly as he grinded himself into Ryan's ass, hands firmly on his waist and fine, yes, his dick was a big part of it.
From the outside the couple looked like your average dueling business men searching for any way to put the other under. In true reality, South Africa was just a lover's vacation with the bonus of finding new land to purchase to expand their separate, thriving wine empires.
"Will you close your yapping mouth or fill it with my wine?" Ryan held out a glass pointedly.
"I'd much rather fill my mouth with your dick actually but I suppose your second rate alcoholic beverage will have to do." Brendon shrugged airily.
"Second rate?!" Ryan demanded. "I'll have you know this was made with flawless, sun drenched, Italian grapes and aged not the required two years but three in pure oak!"
"Yes, yes, I admit it, it's very good." Brendon swallowed a sip, quelling his boyfriend. "It has a lovely cherry undertaste to it. It's rather fruity but not so much that it overpowers the senses."
"Uh-huh." Ryan smacked him over the head. "Bask in its glory."
"I wouldn't go that far." Brendon shook his head and noticing his boyfriend getting flustered he patted his hair: "Aw, you're so cute when you realize how terrible you are at your job."
Ryan's eyes grew large and bright, syurpy yellow and indignant.
Brendon leaned in and kissed him out of nowhere. "I like your big eyes Ry Ry."
"I like your big cock." His sweetheart growled into his ear. The small bit of alcohol was already going to his head.
Brendon smirked so hard he felt his face might split. "I bet you'd like it better if it were inside of you, huh?"
"Ugh!," Ryan pasted their lips together as he leapt up to wrap his long legs around Brendon's hips, "Take me to the bedroom!" He moaned feverishly as his lover devoured his neck and sucked the inside of his mouth while he carried him through the living room and up the stairs.
Nothing really mattered to the two now that they were in the throws of passion. The rest of the house was sort of like an out of focus picture and Brendon's mind was set on getting Ryan on his stomach on the bed as quickly as possible.
He savagely ripped at his clothes between kisses that were sure to leave hickeys and cast them aside every which way. Ryan was extremely impatient, groaning into the pillow in frustration which got Brendon so hot and bothered that he could barely think as he completely destroyed their still packed suitcases searching for the condoms and lube.
There was minimal teasing for Ryan after he had finally been able to prepare himself. Brendon entered him hard and fast from behind and made sure he screamed. This was all about their joint satisfaction and he was going to make it happen no matter what it took.
Besides a mind numbing orgasm an all too short but oh so sating five minutes later, he caused something else to occur deep inside Ryan's fragile body.
He should have checked the date on the box of condoms.
*** Four Weeks Later****
Positive or so the test he had pissed on ten minutes before read.
“Why did this have to happen to us? Bren, why the fuck did you put on an expired condom? I didn’t even know guys could get pregnant! I thought I just had the stomach flu or something!”
“Apparently you’re one of the rare ones that can Ryan. You’re going to be a mother.” Urie should have known not to even try to lighten the mood of this piece of shit situation they had gotten themselves into. He should have but truthfully, it wasn’t in his nature to be anything but oblivious as to unwanted pregnancy etiquette.
“Can you at least try to get worked up over this?! Where does it even come out from?” Ryan’s voice cracked and he began trembling. Brendon instinctively tried to put an arm around him was shoved away coldly. “How am I going to work?! I can’t drink Bren! My career is going to go to shit! What are people going to say when they find out about this?!,” Ryan was working himself into hyperventilating because of his crying, “I don’t want to be in some tabloid for fucking my business rival!” Brendon wasn’t refused when he began to soothingly rub his back; honestly Ryan was so gone in hysterics that he didn’t even think he noticed.
“You want to break up with me?” Brendon fearfully stopped what he was doing after he had considered Ryan’s last two points. It was a very valid possibility that Ryan might leave him for this. His throat began to close up.
Though he didn’t think it was remotely possible, Ryan went even farther over the edge. “Oh my God, this is going to make me lose you too! I’m going to get fat and huge and gross! You’re going to leave me for some cheap skank!”
“Baby, honey, Ryan!” His boyfriend squeezed him tightly. “Are you even listening to yourself?!” Brendon rocked him back and forth until he was able to calm down some and the shaking heaves turned to light whimpering.
“This is my child too. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be a father.”