“I’m not afraid of someone hurting me,” Frank whispered. “I’m afraid of them taking you away. I’m afraid of someone hurting you.”
Me: Frank used to skateboard. He broke both his ankles doing it.
Her: I KNOW HOW ELSE HE BROKE HIS ANKLE.
AND I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS OKAY STOP IT NOW YOU ASS
Anywhooooo, this would’ve taken a lot longer for me to post, even though I got my laptop, so you can all thank my friend for screaming at me to update. Yeah… Alright, well enjoy.
Beat Your Heart Out
. . .
FRANKIE, TAKE THE WHEEL!"
Gerard was halfway out the window, one hand on the steering wheel and the other pulling the trigger of his pistol which he was firing at the squad cars chasing them. They'd made it about two miles from the town Gerard had taken Frank to for lunch, but the police had caught up and before either of them knew it, a chase had begun.
Frank leaned across the console, taking the wheel between both his sweaty hands. He swerved them in and out of traffic, sweat pouring down his face as the sirens blared in the background. His heart beat in his ears and tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes. How had this happened? He was a sixteen year old punk kid from Belleville who despised school and had a passion for guitar. So, how did he manage to get himself kidnapped, raped, then fall in love with his kidnapper who just so happened to love him back which was why he was kidnapped in the first place-
Frank let out a scream of frustration, fear, and sadness. He hated that he and Gerard had to run from the law. They were in love and should have been able to be like everyone else. He hated that he was afraid of the police officers chasing them. He slept in the same goddamn bed as fear himself, and he was going to let a few puny cops scare him? And last, he hated that he was upset about missing his mother. Sure, he loved Gerard and wanted to be with him, but he missed his family and friends.
Gerard leaned back into the car, his face creased in worry at Frank's outburst, but said nothing of it. They had bigger matters at hand right now; he would just ask him about it when they were safe.
"Frankie, would you switch seats with me, quick?" Gunshots rang out behind them, a clink being heard when one hit the cat's bumper. Gerard's eyes widened and he swore angrily. "Fuckers just shot my car!"
He climbed into the passenger side seat as Frank slid under him and into the driver's side. The car swerved a bit but Frank grabbed the wheel, steering the car around the bend in the road. Gerard cocked his pistol, aiming out the window and back at the police. Several bangs sounded throughout the car as Gerard cheered, "Yeah, got ya'! Dirty, rotten bastard."
The black Trans Am was a good distance in front of the officers, enough that when they turned at a particularly sharp bend, the police lost sight of them. As they neared a clearing in the thick pine forest on the side of the road, Gerard got back into the driver’s seat and Frank moved back over to his. Gerard pulled into the clearing, driving about five hundred feet in until the black car was invisible from the road. They watched as a storm of red and blue flashing lights flew by and sirens wailed in the distance.
Gerard stared out the windshield. "I'm gonna get sap all over my fuckin' car."
Frank looked over at him, seeing the man's brow furrowed as if he were in deep thought. "What's wrong, Gee?" he asked concern in his voice.
Gerard was mumbling to himself, bringing a hand up to his head. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, pulling his sunglasses off and throwing them onto the dashboard. His pale lips were drawn into a thin line and his voice was low.
Frank raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Gee? You okay?" He moved closer to the man, but he gave no reaction towards the younger boy.
Gerard kept his head down, his eyes now squeezed shut. "I know it was a bad idea to go out, but I felt he deserved it....Please leave me alone....I'm trying, can't you see that...Just stop telling me what to do, I can handle myself."
Frank, becoming increasingly worried, placed a hand on Gerard's arm. "Gerard?"
Gerard's head snapped towards Frank and the boy jumped back at the sudden movement. The man's gaze was hard and scrutinizing, as if Frank had deeply annoyed him. The muscles in his neck were tight and his jaw was clenched.
Gerard squeezed his eyes shut, only to open them again and grab Frank's collar, dragging him over the console and onto his thighs. He looked the boy straight in the eyes. "What the actual fuck could you possibly want, Frank?" he bellowed, his voice echoing off all sides of the car. Frank cringed back.
"I just wanted to know what was wrong...," he whispered.
Gerard laughed. "You wanted to know what's wrong? What's wrong?" He threw Frank into the back seat, climbing back right after him. "What's fucking wrong? I don't know if you realized it, Frankie, but I'm breaking the law right now. Everything I do has to be planned out exactly so that I dot get caught and they take you away from me." His eyes darkened and his hold on Frank's arms tightened. "No one will ever touch my Frankie."
Frank looked up at Gerard, straining to move his arms which were currently pinned to the cold leather seats below him. "Gerard, let me go."
Gerard growled, squeezing Frank's arms so tight that the younger boy could feel bruises already forming. "No one will ever fucking take my baby away from me."
Frank attempted to bring his feet up, intending on throwing Gerard off of him, but the older man wasn’t having it as he sat on the boy’s hips.
“Gerard,” Frank pleaded. “Come on Gerard. You’re better than this. This isn’t you anymore.”
Gerard froze, his hazel eyes widening as he stared down at Frank. “Frankie?”
Frank gave him a small smile. “Yeah, Gerard. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
Gerard climbed off of Frank, sitting in the seat next to him. “What happened?”
Frank laid his hand over Gerard’s larger one. “You, uh, you went into a violent state and yelled at me a little.” He scratched his neck awkwardly.
“What?!” Gerard’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, did I hurt you? Oh, please tell me I didn’t harm you. My sweet baby, oh no.” He grabbed Frank’s arms, searching for injuries. Pulling his sleeves up, he gasped at the large finger shaped bruises. “Did I do this?” he gasped.
“Yeah, but it was an accident. You didn’t mean to do it.” Frank ran a hand down Gerard’s trembling arm. “Don’t worry, hun. I forgive you.”
Gerard closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or not. I hurt you and it’s my own fault.” He reached into his back pocket, bringing out the switchblade he kept with him. He flicked it open, wiping the dry blood off on his leather jacket. “I want you to have this,” he said, handing it to Frank. “Take it in case I ever try to hurt you again.”
Frank stared at the weapon with wide eyes. “I can’t take that and use it on you, Gee. Are you crazy?”
Gerard smiled grimly. “I wish I wasn’t.” He took Frank’s hand in his, wrapping the boy’s slim fingers around the steel handle. “Just promise me you’ll keep yourself safe.”
Frank stared at the knife then back up at Gerard, leaning up to press their lips together. “I love you, Gee.”
Gerard sighed, running his hand down Frank’s back.
“I love you too, Frankie.”
/“The court is now in session. Case 63: Gerard Arthur Way vs. the State of New Jersey.”
Gerard sat handcuffed to his chair, his orange prison jumpsuit hanging off his skinny frame. Frank was sitting at the stand, giving a desperate look at Gerard. “I love you,” he mouthed, but Gerard simply looked away in shame. The elderly judge sat shuffling his papers, giving Gerard a disgusted look./
“Mr. Way, you have been accused of kidnap, the rape of a minor, and 76 counts of murder in the first degree. How do you plead?”
Gerard looked down. “Guilty,” he mumbled. He looked up, catching Frank’s eye and smiling slightly. Frank gave him a pleading look.
/“Then on behalf of the State of New Jersey, I sentence you to death. Case dismissed.”
Frank’s eyes widened and he looked at the judge, gesturing wildly at Gerard. “No, please! You can’t do that! I love him! You can’t kill him, please no! I’ll do anything!” He stood and jumped from the stand, running to Gerard and hugging him tightly. “I love you so much, Gerard. I won’t let them hurt you.”/
Being met with silence, Frank looked up and screamed in shock. Gerard’s once handsome face was now splitting into an inhuman grin, his eyes glowing red. His teeth were long and jagged, his hair short and white.
Frank felt a searing pain in his chest, looking down to see Gerard holding his still beating and bloody heart. Frank stumbled and Gerard caught him in his arms, leaning down to whisper in his ear.
“I love you, too, Frankie. So long and good night.”
Frank woke up in bed, screaming and in a pool of his own sweat. Gerard stirred next to him, his arms still wrapped around Frank’s torso. He sat up quickly, huddling Frank to his chest and looking around for the cause of his lover’s distress. “Frankie, what’s wrong?”
Frank screamed and pulled Gerard’s arms from around him, jumping from the bed and grabbing the knife from the nightstand. “Stay away from me, you monster!” He held the knife out towards Gerard, his eyes crazed and tears streaming down his cheeks. Gerard walked towards him slowly, his hands raised and his face full of concern.
“Frankie, what’s gotten into you? What’s going on?” He moved his hand out to touch him, but Frank cringed away.
Don’t touch me!”
Gerard took another step towards Frank. “Sugar, I just want to help.” He moved to take the knife from Frank, but the boy cried out and went to push Gerard away, instead slashing his arm. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut in pain.
“Shit,” he whimpered, grasping his now bleeding limb. There was a cut that was at least six inches long on his forearm, and it was bleeding at a pretty quick pace. Frank’s face instantly changed to one of remorse as he watched Gerard grab a sheet to attempt to stop the bleeding.
“Oh my god, Gerard! I didn’t mean to, I swear!” Frank dropped the knife as if it’d burned him (it might as well have) and ran to Gerard. “What can I do?”
Gerard smiled. “Nothing, it’s okay Frankie. I’m indestructible, remember? Plus, it’s already stopped bleeding.” He gathered Frank into his arms. “Plus, I hurt you, so I deserved it.
Now, are you gonna tell me what happened?”
Frank blushed and looked away. “I had a dream…”
Gerard sat down on the bed pulling Frank onto his lap. “About?”
Gerard furrowed his eyebrows. “And?”
“You killed me.”
Gerard tightened his arms around Frank, kissing his ear and nuzzling his nose into his short hair. “Oh, sweetie. Do you want to talk about it?”
Frank sniffled, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Well, you were on trial and I was in the stand. The judge read you your charges and asked what you pled, and you said guilty. He sentenced you to death and I freaked out and jumped over the stand and onto you, but you turned into this monster and ripped my heart out. “He let out a loud sob, clinging onto Gerard’s shirtless torso. “I’m scared, Gerard!”
Gerard shushed him and laid a gentle kiss on his lips. “Don’t worry, babe. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m not going to hurt you, no one’s gonna hurt you. You’re safe here, alright?” Fran looked up at Gerard, his large hazel eyes filled with tears, and upon seeing this, Gerard was hit with a large pang of guilt. When he saw Frank cry, it felt as if he wasn’t good enough- like he didn’t keep Frank safe enough. He was the big, strong guardian, and it was his job to keep his little Frankie safe from harm, which he’d been doing a pretty shit poor job at lately.
“I’m not afraid of someone hurting me,” Frank whispered. “I’m afraid of them taking you away. I’m afraid of someone hurting you.” He closed his eyes, more tears trickling down his cheeks and catching the light as Gerard watched them with a grimace. He caused those tears. “I can’t live without you, Gerard. I loved you so fucking much.”
The older man smiled, hugging Frank to his chest. He pressed his lips to the boy’s smooth forehead, lying back on the bed with him. Frank lay on Gerard’s chest as he hummed, counting the beats of Gerard’s heart.
All that mattered right now was that his heart stayed beating and Frank could keep on counting it forever, and if it were ever to stop, he’d beat it so hard that it’d have no choice but to start again. At this, Frank laughed. He was becoming a lot like Gerard. He probably should be scared, but he wasn’t. He loved Gerard and everything about him, even his short temper and violent outbursts. It was all part of him. It was all Gerard.
And he loved it.