As you ripped it all apart I turned to watch you And as the light in you went dark I saw you turn to shadow
“What the hell Saul? After all the shit you gave me last night, you go and pull a stunt like this?” the other just glanced up disinterestedly at the other before returning his gaze to the reptile in his lap. The yelling became muted to his ears as he held the snake up, examining its glistening brown coils, he crooned lovingly as its tongue flicked out in a hiss.
“FUCKING LISTEN TO ME HUDSON!!” the teen sighed, standing to place the animal back into its tank before turning to face Tracii again.
“Look Trace baby, it was a mistake and it won’t happen again. I’m sorry… but coming in here and screaming like a bitch ain’t gonna help anything” Tracii stared at him in disbelief then let out a frustrated yell
“You’re not sorry at all! You yelled at me for an hour straight last night for ‘daring’ to hug Rob. But you go and fuck someone and think that it’s fine!” he paused, chest heaving, throat aching. Saul remained silent, hoping not to make things worse.
“You fucking cheat, and expect me to be fine with it” His voice was calmer now, just as furious but no longer shouting “Well I’m not fine with it, you’re a selfish, hypocritical bastard. And right now I want nothing to do with you” With this said he walked to the stairs and began his ascent out of Saul’s basement bedroom
“Where are you going?” he called quietly, walking quickly to the bottom of the stairs and looking up as Tracii reached his door
“Away from you!” was the snapped answer as his door slammed. Saul stared momentarily after him before sighing, snatching a book up and throwing himself back onto his bed.
“Tracii… Tracii… please we need to talk about this” Saul called, dodging around oncoming students, trying to keep up with the other as he kept a quick pace along the crowded corridor. A string of curses left his mouth as Tracii got further away before speeding up as best he could.
“I have nothing further to say to you Hudson. Find the whore you fucked” the other snapped as Saul reached him again, slamming his locker door shut.
“Stop following me!” Tracii hissed as he walked to his last class
“No. Not until you promise to talk to me”
“Fine! I’ll come to your place later, just piss off!”
“What do you want?” Saul jumped, looking up from his guitar
“I didn’t hear you come in”
“What do you want?” Tracii repeated coldly, not wanting to stay any longer than necessary, nose wrinkling in disgust at the combined stench of alcohol and drugs
“I’m sorry I fucked her”
The room filled with a charged silence as the two watched each other. Then Tracii sighed, breaking the atmosphere as his shoulders slumped “Saying sorry doesn’t change anything” he said softly “It doesn’t change what you did and it doesn’t change how I feel about it” Saul stood, placing the guitar against his bedside table, he walked over and placed his arms tentatively around Tracii’s pale frame
“I know… I know it doesn’t, but it’s the only thing I can say” The teen remained silent and unresponsive as Saul’s arms secured themselves around his waist and his head rested on his shoulder “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry. I love you baby, you know I do”
Tracii sighed again and attempted to loosen Saul’s hold. The other just readjusted his arms and stepped forward enough to be able to press the shorter against his bedroom wall, effectively trapping the other guitarist. “Don’t go” Saul murmured, kissing the bottom of Tracii’s neck
“Saul, stop it”
“Shush baby” he mumbled, nibbling slightly as Tracii jerked his head and pulled at the grip on his arms, trying to get away.
“Shh” Saul hissed again, taking both of Tracii’s wrists in one hand, whilst the other danced up the teen’s side. Tracii shivered involuntarily, stilling in his struggles briefly, Saul smirked and licked a stripe up Tracii’s neck finishing with a playful bite to the chin, prompting him to restart his efforts to get away.
“I want you Trace… so fucking bad” he gasped, pulling Tracii off the wall and walking him backwards towards his bed.
“Saul! Stop!” He cried out desperately as he felt the back of his knees hit the edge of Saul’s bed, he glanced behind him at the messy bed then back to Saul’s face. The other teen’s eyes were blown wide with whatever he had been using and darkened with lust; he met Tracii’s worried, slightly fearful ones as his free hand stroked the other’s face gently, before leaning him backwards until Tracii felt his back encounter the mattress.
“Saul… Saul please stop. Stop, just stop” he was begging now, voice thick with panic and unshed tears “I don’t want this, I. Don’t. Want this!” he’d never had a reason to fear his boyfriend before, but now… now he was scared for himself and his partner’s sanity.
“Shh, it’ll be alright” sloppy kisses were pressed over his collarbone, cheeks and forehead “Shh, I love you Tracii, I love you, you’re so fucking hot. Especially with a guitar in your hands”
“Saul, please” Tracii whimpered, still struggling in the other’s grip. When the fuck did he get so strong? “S…Saul… stop please!” hot tears were sliding out of the corner of his eyes so he squeezed them shut, trying to control himself as Saul pulled him further up the bed and climbed on top of him, leaning down and licking one trail of tears away.
Another messy kiss, this time at the corner of his mouth, “Why? You’ve been on about this for ages” he murmured, moving his mouth to Tracii’s neck
“I don’t want. I don’t… I don’t want this!” he stammered quickly, trying to keep his voice from shaking as Saul leant back, sat on Tracii’s hips, hand still firmly clasped around his wrists.
He rolled his eyes and leant down again, kissing his cheek “Why?”
“It doesn’t feel right. Please Saul, you’re scaring me” he begged as Saul frowned
“Why doesn’t it feel right? Trace, you’ve been banging on about this for at least a month, all that stuff about this being the next step in our relationship and you’re backing out now, because you’re scared?” Saul asked dismissively.
There was silence as the two stared each other out before Tracii ducked his head and ordered quietly “Get off me Saul” as he pulled on his wrists again, the other didn’t move
“Aw, have I offended you?” Saul mocked, Tracii glared
“Get off!” he snapped, bucking in attempt to dislodge the teen. Saul just smirked and pressed his lips to Tracii’s neck again, applying teeth harshly and making the guitarist yelp.
“Yell all you want darlin’ no one’s here to hear it” Saul murmured smugly as his searching hand came to fruition as it found his spare guitar strap, he twisted Tracii’s wrists into captivity before securing them to his rickety headboard, leaving both of his hands free to roam Tracii’s body, twisting, pinching and stroking wherever they saw fit. The other yelled, fury taking the place of his earlier panic as he tried to buck Saul off him, Saul just laughed as Tracii’s body thrashed underneath him, mouth cursing and calling him every name under the sun, stars and beyond, hands unbuttoning Tracii’s shirt and running his hands over smooth skin greedily; thumbs stroking circles around his captive’s nipples, grinning as they slowly hardened to his touch, enjoying the hiss that broke the curses as he leaned down and licked at the small nub, fingers drifting to play with the other, alternating between lightly circling and rough pinching dragging a quiet moan from his lips.
Saul smirked; moving away from the other’s chest to capture his mouth sweetly taking the kiss slowly, keeping it almost innocent before attempting to deepen and yelping, withdrawing, mouth filling with blood, expression filling with shock as Tracii glared at him “Get the fuck off me” he hissed ignoring the fury that leaked onto Saul’s face as he raised his fingers to his mouth and pressed them gently against the bite to his tongue instantly painted red. He stared at his fingers briefly, shock never fully leaving until he felt Tracii pulling at his bonds, having found a loose spot, his face darkened before he leant down once more, curly hair falling over his face as he crudely fused their mouths together again and bit down sharply on the other’s lip, drawing blood as a warning; Tracii whimpered, metallic tang of blood flooding his mouth along with Saul’s injured tongue.
“Saul please” More pleas fell on deaf ears as belts were tugged open and jeans were unbuttoned roughly “Saul… please…please” caramel fingers paused before their owner climbed off of him abruptly and wandered to the stairs “Saul? Saul?” ignorance prevailed as Saul’s feet padded up the stairs, leaving Tracii tied to his bed downstairs. “Saul!?” the last yell before the door shut and Tracii threw his head back against the thin pillow, eyes catching sight of the strap slowly rubbing his wrists raw as he pulled on it desperately “Fuck. Fucking bastard, piece of shit!” he hissed furiously as blood started to run down his arm.
“Your mouth’s filthy” Tracii’s head whipped around at the murmur fear built in his eyes before it was replaced by resentment
“Fuck off Saul” he snapped subconsciously continuing his struggle with the guitar strap the other smirked, the smell of drugs was clinging to him stronger than ever now as he stripped his shirt, jeans and boxers off and approached the bed once more; ignoring the scowl and empty threats as his hand stroked Tracii’s jaw and trailed downward, resuming where they had left off in unbuttoning and pulling the tight jeans off slim toned pale legs. Tracii thrashed, trying to deter the other as he forced his legs apart and settled between them, hand resting on his hip forcibly stilling his movements as his free hand slid underneath Tracii’s ass to lift it and shove a balled up jumper under his lower back; raising it just enough for him to lean over the other teen and root through his open bedside drawer withdrawing with a small bottle of lotion.
One hand still firmly pressing on the other’s hip he wrenched the cap off with his teeth and squeezed some of the contents out onto Tracii’s taut stomach before dipping his fingers into it to gather some and slick the digits, warming the lotion as he lowered his hand and slid his index into the other. Tracii stiffened before releasing his breath in a pained hiss, body trying to expel Saul’s finger as it rested there “Has Rob been here?” he asked quietly, resisting Tracii’s efforts to force him away
“What! Jesu… no!” Tracii gasped as Saul grinned
“Good this is all mine” he whispered beginning to move his hand; knowing Tracii would relax eventually which he did with a pained grimace.
Turning his head away whenever Saul moved up for a kiss as his fingers that had been stretching and scissoring retreated, slowly being replaced by his condom-covered cock which was thicker, blunter and by far much hotter than his fingers could ever be. Tracii’s eyes slid shut desperately as the burn in his ass grew with every inch Saul sank deeper and tears welled up, over-spilling and trickling out of the corner of his tightly closed eyes, dampening his cheeks. His boyfriend… wait, could he even call him that anymore? Did he want to? paused as his hips met Tracii’s, thumb brushing away the liquid lips whispering sweet nothings as if he could take away the degraded numbness he’d given with honeyed phrases and murmured compliments on his body as he began rocking; slowly at first but picking up pace.
Finally the other stiffened with a grunt and collapsed onto his partner, Tracii’s face was still turned away from his and tears were still streaking his cheeks at irregular intervals. A small fleck of guilt peppered his afterglow as he pulled free, drawing a soft noise from the teen underneath him, and tied the protection off throwing it across the room to the wastepaper basket positioned haphazardly a few feet from his desk before untying the strap from around Tracii’s wrists, a few more tugs from the other and he would have pulled free anyway; Tracii turned on his side and drew his legs up with a wince into a foetal position, wrapping his arms around himself, soft sobs escaping his mouth as Saul hovered uncertainly nearby.
Eventually the crying stopped and he accepted his clothes from the other without meeting his eyes, he dressed silently and stood stiffly, limping over to the stairs before glancing back at Saul with reddened eyes and tear-streaked face; no words were uttered but their bond was broken, shattered and they could both feel it, the distance between them growing colder with each injured step Tracii took away from Saul.