The arts of being a Killjoy and the romance that comes with it. - Auditioned story.
The school announcement song came on. Everyone knew what this meant.
’Look alive, sunshine! Good morning to all you killjoys. Up and at ‘em kids. You never know when the Dracs’ will attcack.’ He said. I smiled. I love Mondays. I’m probably the only person who does, but I love them for a very simple reason. The first teacher of the day. His name is Frank Iero, but his killjoy name is Fun Ghoul. I love him so much. Of course, we’re not allowed a romantic relationship. In fact, no one is. Not until we get BLi out of the way first. So there isn’t a no romance with teachers rule. It’s a no romance with anyone rule. We need to defeat the highest power. Korse. That’s what we learn in school. Frank, or Mr Ghoul teaches defence.
I’m failing that class on purpose. I’m actually amazing at defence. I just love staying behind and having one to one’s with the best killjoy I’ve ever known. All my friends know I’m great at defence. In fact, they’re too scared to provoke me. I once kicked someone in the head for stealing my biscuits. I said it was an accident, but it clearly wasn’t. That guy then joined BLi though. He wasn’t good at anything though, so I don’t blame him.
‘Penina, stop daydreaming or I swear to god I will tell everyone about your defence techniques.’ Hozzie warned.
‘Oh will you?’ I asked intimidatingly. She quietly squeaked, shook her head, and backed away. I then giggled.
‘Hozzie, I wouldn’t hurt you. Besides, I woke up a few hours earlier to make sure I looked okay.’ I said. I got out of bed wearing my killjoy outfit. I double checked it still looked okay, then I put my gun in its hold. ‘Anyway, wanna go to class? I do!’ I said excitedly. She giggled. We went to the diner where everyone gathers for meals, and maybe an afternoon snack. It’s open all the time on weekends. The lunch lady’s really nice. God knows how she does it, but she manages to find actual food. Not Power Pup. Power Pup is our emergency food. It’s dog food approved by BLi. It’s disgusting, but it’s being saved for when some of the killjoy’s go and try to defeat BLi. There’s tons of it. We have to eat at least one can a week though. It’s mandatory. We finally got to Frank’s classroom, and I was smiling as soon as I saw him. I sat in the front with Hozzie, Raven, Amy and Jen. They’re my 4 best friends, but there were loads more people who I loved as well.
‘Hey class.’ He said in his gorgeous voice.
‘Good morning Mr Ghoul.’ The class said collectively.
‘Fuck me sideways you beautiful angel of the lord.’ I whispered so only my friends could hear me. They burst out laughing though.
‘Mythomania Danger, care to tell me what’s so funny?’ He asked in an impatient, but friendly way. It’s as if one of your friends’ parents was your teacher, and he couldn’t get mad at you, but it’s different, because I had the biggest crush on him since he became my teacher.
‘A lot of things are funny. One time, I saw a picture of a couple on a beach, but a squirrel photo bombed it, and I swear I was laughing for ages. I ended up with a tummy ache and a face ache.’ I answered. He just rolled his eyes.
‘Make sure it doesn’t happen again. Okay? I don’t know about you, but I’ve got enough work without worrying about detention and one to one’s.’ He said sounding fed up.
‘Sorry.’ I said.
‘Good.’ He said before winking and then turning around to write on the board.
‘Sorry that you’re dick isn’t in me.’ I said. My friends started erupting in laughter. Frank just sighed and rested his head on the board.
‘Miss Danger, you now have no choice but to stay behind after this lesson and spend a whole hour with me, on my free time may I add?’ He said pointing at me with his pen. I smiled. That’s what I was hoping for anyway. ‘To the rest of you who know how to behave, make sure you don’t do anything to stay behind okay? Being a killjoy is serious. If BLi suddenly attacks our building, and you didn’t know how to defend yourself, well that’s just blood on my hands. It’s something I don’t want to think about. But, today, we’re going to learn how to defend yourself, with these.’ He said pulling a bandana out of his pocket.
‘Sir, what are you doing with the scarf? Isn’t it a bit gay?’ One of the kids asked.
‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t comfortable with the pictures of blowjobs on it.’ He said making us all laugh. ‘This is a bandana, and it’s probably one of the most useful tools you can use from clothing. Especially if you’ve got no weapons in the desert. I’m going to need a volunteer, and I volunteer Mythomania Danger. Come up here.’ He said. My heartbeat quickened. I loved it when I got to feel his touch. I went up as quickly as I could, and stood on the mat.
‘You’re not going to kill me are you?’ I asked. Frank just snickered and shook his head.
‘Of course not, I’m not even going to hurt you. If I do, just tell me to stop. Basically, this is really simple. You cross your arms like so, and then you quickly put the bandana over the targets neck and pull!’ He said. He pulled softly, but I felt his hands brush against my neck. I wanted to feel it again, and I sighed happily. ‘Hey, are you alright?’
‘Fine.’ I answered.
‘Um, okay then. Next, you kick the place where the knee bends.’ He said. He kicked that place making me wobble and fall down. ‘Now, if this were real, you wouldn’t go down with them. You’d just hold the bandana as they fall making them strangle. Now, I want you to team up with your partners and try this technique.’ He said. After about 45 minutes. Then the bell went off, and as instructed, I stayed behind.
‘So, what do I have to do? Write down a theory? Do some math sums? I hate math.’ I complained.
‘Penina, I’m not going to make you do any of that. I just want to talk to you.’ He said, putting his hand sympathetically on my arm. I think the thing that shocked me the most was that he used my real name. In lessons we have to address everyone by their killjoy name.
‘You… you called me Penina.’ I stated.
‘Well, it’s not lesson time. Besides, this feels more personal. I kind of wanted a personal chat. Friend to friend, not teacher to student.’ He said. I smiled at him. ‘Why are you failing my class? You seem to do okay in everything else. Besides, you always try so hard. You don’t misbehave in anything else, so why me?’ He asked. I shrugged.
‘I don’t know. I’m sorry Frank.’ I said. He smiled when I said Frank.
‘I think you do know. Plus, you really love demonstrating to the class. It’s either something wrong with me, or a personal issue.’ He said.
‘There’s nothing wrong with you. If anything, you’re my favourite teacher. It’s nothing personal either. I do try hard.’ I said trying not to cry. I hate it when Frank thinks he’s doing badly. He obviously saw me upset though, so he gave me a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder.
‘Listen, there’s going to be an announcement in the school sometime this month. It could be this week, I don’t know. I really want you to train as hard as you can in defence. There’s a good reason.’ He said. I nodded my head and sniffed. I clearly wasn’t going to do well. Maybe a teensy improvement but that’s it. If it was an emergency, I would be able to defend myself, but I’d defend Frank before anyone or anything. He probably just wants me to be safe, and I’m the safest person I know.
Hi guys! It's about quarter to 2 over here. I hope you liked this though! Frank as a teacher is literally one of the most sexiest things I could ever imagine. Jesus Fucking Christ how hot would that be! YUMMY!!! Haha. Anyway, this is my first proper story that I've started on this account, so let's have a drink to that. CHEERS!!! I'm sorry for my blecugowubishness today. I don't know what's going on with me. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please, please, give it some rates and reviews? I'd love for it to go green! I'll update tomorrow if you do, and maybe another chapter of AHCOBSM will be up! :D xx