Bandit is determined for her father to see her again.
“well, my mom died a year ago in a car crash that I was in too. I feel so guilty and its practically why I killed myself. So I asked my spirit advisor which door my mom chose and she told me this one so I need to find her.” I reply after sitting down and crossing my legs, wondering how my father is getting on inside with uncle Mikey.
“well what did she look like?” she asks.
“well when she died she had short blonde hair thrown back into a pony tail. Ruby red lips, she always smiled. She had the brownest eyes...” I trail off staring into space thinking of my perfect, beautiful mother. But it doesn't last long before my thoughts are broken by screams from my dad. These are different to the ones before, these are screams of agony, despair. I run to the house with Lauren trying to drag me back, telling me its better if I don't see. But I ignore her and run up the stone steps and throw the patio doors open. Everyone looks right through me and at the now wide open door in shock. The whole band and all of their girlfriends are here. There's Uncle Frank and his girlfriend who I call Auntie Penina. Her long, straight, brown hair spills over her shoulder and her her big emerald eyes are hidden by her usually sweeping fringe. Her lengthy eyelashes are clumped together in a tearing mess. I dont like seeing her like this, she's always so fun and full of life, but now... i've sucked all of that out of her. I look to the right of Auntie Penina and see Auntie Hozzie curled up in Uncle Mikey's lap, as if hiding from the ugly world. She's always like that, so timid... so shy, but she and I both knew what she was like on the inside, but only when she was around me would she be her inner self, I wonder what will happen now mi not around? Her entire body convulsing with her agonising cries. Her her jet black, waist length hair has fell in front of her face hiding her piercing blue eyes, her prominent curls teasing the only the bottoms of her hair. I hear the yelps again and my eyes dart to the floor where my ebony haired father is curled up in a ball on the floor where I also see long, stunning, ruby red hair trying to comfort him with everything she can at this moment and I know that its auntie Raven. Her full fringe is like rats tails from wiping her tear covered hands over her face. Her hazel eyes are glassy from the tears she's trying to stop from falling, she's always trying to be the strong one, that's what I love most about her, I know she's there for me no matter what.
Uncle ray wasn't crying... He was just staring into space, not even my fathers cries could break his trance.
I ran over to my father and fell to my knees before him. What have I done? I've killed him, destroyed him. I've taken the light behind his eyes. This gives me an idea.
I place my hand on his scrunched up face but it just ends up falling through him. No! Not again! Why doesnt it work? It did outside, why not now? I start panicking and replacing my hand repeatedly on his face only to have the same thing happen over and over.
“You need to really feel it,” I hear from the corner of the room, I turn and see lauren leaning against the doorway with her arms folded looking at me pitifully.
“I want it more than anything in this world!” I say turning back to my screaming father and trying again but again my ghostly hand just slips through his face and to the murky green carpeted floor, I punch the floor in frustration and let out an aggravated growl.
Lauren passes over to me and kneels beside me and takes my hand to place it on my dads cheek. I close my eyes and listen to her.
“you have to imagine the feel of his skin beneath your fingers, you have to picture every dent and crevice grazing your hands. She starts moving my hand and I can feel a corpses tears prickling my eyes because I still can feel anything, then I remember before I died.
When I stroked his face as he sang to me. I remember my fingers gliding over his slightly stubbled cheek and the roughness of it teasing my fingers. I remember the scar he has of when an angry fan wearing a coin ring hooked him after one of his shows. I can remember how it felt, its as if I can now, as if I'm still grazing his soft cheek with my calloused finger tips. I notice Lauren's hand isn't guiding mine any more, that i'm doing it on my own,
and that his face is softened but scared beneath my touch. I go close to his ear and kiss his temple repeatedly, his body stiffens and its a relief to me because that means he can feel it. His mouth stays in a dry line, as if, if he moved it an inch his face would crack. He closes his eyes and lightly places his hand over mine, I can feel the warmth of his skin cascading over mine, he feels one hundred degrees but maybe that's because mi frozen. The hairs all over his body stick up as goosebumps play and dance on him milky skin. I lean in close to his ear again.Then I sing, he always loved the sound of my voice.
“So long to all my friends,
everyone of them met tragic ends.
With every passing day,
i'd be lying if I didnt say.”
“That I miss them all tonight.” His croaky broken voice chimes out. My eyes fly open and dart to my father who now has his eyes open and seems as if he's looking right into me. Can he see me? Did he just hear me? He must have he sang the next line to the exact same song, with perfect timing.
I notice uncle Mikey is shaking him asking him to look at him and what's wrong but daddy just continues to stare at me and I carry on singing to see if he really can hear me.
“And if they only knew,
what I would say,”
could be with you tonight,”
He responds, he can hear me! I'm full blown crying now i'm so happy, well for a dead girl.
We sing the next part together,
“I would sing you to sleep
never let them take the light behind your eyes”
He's shaking now, sobbing violently, whispering my name. I've stopped singing and I use this opportunity to talk;
“Hey, daddy its me, Bandit. I’m so sorry for what I did, and not a moment has passed where I haven't regretted it. I wish I could be with you again, but I cant right now, we will be some day, I promise, and mi gunna find moma and be with her. I'm safe and I love you so so much, never forget that okay? Please just never forget how much I love you.
“Round the world and back again baby!” he chokes out violently grabbing my hand and snuggling into it. “just promise me one thing?” he asks.
“anything?” I respond kissing his hands repeatedly.
“Never leave me again!” he begs putting his head onto my lap.
“Daddy, They'll take me, I cant stay forever, though I wish with all of my deceased heart that I could, I just want to be with you always. I-I-.” I cant speak any more through the sobs drowning my voice.
“Sugar, please just stay with me, i'll do anything, please just don't leave I cant bare it! I cant live without you to wake up to, without having you snuggle close to me when we watch dawn of the dead, without you laughing hysterically at the ridiculous parts, without you sneaking into my bead at 3am because of a nightmare, without looking into your eyes,
and telling you how much I love you. Its killing me even now that I cant see you.”
so he cant see me, but he can hear me. He breaks into a form of hysteria again and mikey and ray run over to him to steady him.
The rest of the gang are looking at gee worriedly except aunty Hozzie who's looking at me, like seriously right at me. I move to the left and her penetrating blue eyes follow me. I crawl over to her until our faces are but an inch away from one another.
“you can see me.” I state, she blinks in response and mi taken aback. I jump into her lap but land on the floor with a thud. She looks afraid, but steady. I cant read her facial expression but shes still looking at me intently.
“please, aunty Hozzie, just tell my dad I say stay strong and ill see him under the stars, he'll know what I mean.” I smile weakly at her and place my hand on hers. She glances down at me but then looks back into my hazels and nods in reply to my request. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Lauren standing behind me expressing that its time to go. I get up and before walking away take one look back at everyone over my shoulder. They are all pretty much the same as before except my father who is passed out through exhaustion on the floor and uncle Mikey is pressing his fingers so hard into his eyes its as if he's going to push them into his skull. I will see them again... In person... One way or another.
HEY!!! Sorry it took so long to update, been busy with doctors and what not and with the drawing stuff :) thanks for reading R+R?