something never suspected arises
Oh god. I'm sweating as Josh swallows thickly.
"I think I'm bulimic again....."
"I've been eating normally.....but I---fuck! Its too damn hard to explain. I just--I don't know!!" He wails.
"Something happened Joshie, you're damaged love."
He pulls off his shirt, and i gasp. He has more scars, scabs, and cuts across his chest. Theres one in particular that scares the piss out of me, the word "freak" is carved with precision into his stomach. I can see the red, angry marks, and i put a hand over my mouth, gasping. How had no-one caught this?! He has fucking kids now! I dont want the boys to be taken into care, hes strong, and brave. He will make it...I hope.
He just stares at me shaking.
"There was this one person....Dmitry, he hates me! He called me a worthless pile of shit, an---"
A sob racks his small frame. What the hell is going on?!
"He....he would beat the shit out of me! He called me a fat fuck, and he said, 'hope the little bastard inside you dies, you freak'! I cant stand it Matty! I wish I was perfect!" He sobs.
I want to tell him that nobody is perfect, not even me, but seeing all he had done to himself scares me most. He could snap, and then bang---the boys would be in care. He doesn't want that, I know that. So i look at him.
"Let's get you cleaned up, okay love?"
Josh nods, and he looks more like a frightened child, not my loving 17-year-old boyfriend. He scoots himself off the bed, and follows me to the bathroom, so i can clean him. Theres a nasty smell of dried blood, and Joshs body odour.
What the fuck is wrong with Josh?!
I clean off his scabs, and remove the dried blood from each wound. He takes off his boxers and steps into the shower, as i wash his frail body. He suddenly screams as the sponge makes contact with his stomach.
"Josh? Love? Whats wrong? What hurts?" I ask.
He looks at me with wide eyes, and throws up in the shower. I start to clean his face, and kiss his hair, almost gagging at the smell. I grab a good amount of shampoo, and move it in his hair. A chunk of dirt falls on the floor, hes been so depressed he hadnt thought to care for himself! I quickly run up the stairs and check on the boys, who were getting changed by Sara.
"Good god Matt, you look awful!"
"Its Josh....." i say breathlessly.
Her face pales, "Is he okay?"
"Just come with me...." I mutter as I drag her downstairs. I open the bathroom door to find Josh shaking in a corner of the small shower. Sara looks at me.
"Get mom, and call an ambulance. /Now!/"
I panic, "Whats going on?! Hes fine isnt he?"
"Josh might have relapsed into a heroin addiction, again." She says sadly.
holy shit enjoy?