One little touch
Now my life's complete
The story of my life. I've been an outcast at school since I first joined, the only place I ever felt real and alive was when I was performing. The stage seems to push a charge through my body, it shows that I'm where I'm meant to be. Perfectly placed in an ensemble of outcasts, everyone different and yet on the stage we are one. Every time I'm on stage I always look up to the tech box and watch Gerard work, it's so amazing how he can manage to create something so beautiful with the touch of a few buttons. When I'd look up I could always watch his pearl white teeth grin a smile down to me, no one seemed to notice. It's as if everything he does is directed for me and me only. He had always been there for me, when I broke up with my boyfriend Frank, Gerard was there to comfort me and hold me in his strong, loving arms. Whenever I was in his arms it's as if the whole world came to a stop, it was just me and him. I had always thought of him as my older brother, even my best friend. I'd never trusted anyone before, everyone on the outside world caused pain. Gerard? Gerard made my horrific world a dream. Sometimes I would think none of it was real, I hated that.
I had forgot Gee was right next to me having a perfectly normal conversation, I'd blanked out yet again.
"Sorry I was thinking again"
Usually I'd tell him it was about school or friends but that was a lie and he knew it. I'd skip school and hide behind the desk when Gerard was at work, his sisters, Amy and Ella, had never caught me before. Sometimes he'd even take me to the restaurant across the road for my dinner, but that was after school. He'd order the burger and chips, I'd always eat his chips and dip it in the sauce to the left of me; we always sat at table 7. Seven was our lucky number and we always had a window view of the world outside. We were safe inside while we would watch the inhabitants of hell outside. Every time I'd finish my food he would lick his finger and rub the side of my mouth, it was nothing sexual but merely a friendly gesture. If I wanted something to happen then I'd have to hide it; age was just a number. After all, you can't help who you fall in love with.
"So we were talking about the show?"
He gave a small smile as he pushed my glasses up my nose. I never usually wore glasses but I had been reading my script with Gerard, he always said they suited me so I always wore them when he was around.
The show we were doing was Hairspray, a family musical, showing how two different type of people can connect, how one person can change something. The main character was a larger girl who was an outcast and reject but ends up going out with the most popular guy on TV, the typical fairytale story. Although this wasn't a fairytale, it was a miracle. Nothing like this could happen in real life, I wouldn't have a chance with some hot guy, I wouldn't have a chance with anyone.
"Oh yeah, what about it?"
My breathing had been restricted as he jokingly pulled my Misfits scarf tight around my neck. I was wearing my typical black leggings with a tight band tee, my hair in its natural curls and my scarf loose around my neck. At least it was loose. Gerard was also wearing his typical clothing, a tight shirt with the dance school logo on and his baggy pants which held his wires in.
Somehow I had only managed to squeak it out due to my uncontrollable outburst of laughter.
"Are you going to listen?"
I watched in fascination as his eyebrow raised above his delicate eyes. My eyes were locked into his as I nodded slightly, my face burning red and my head slowly turning away.
A smirk appeared onto his face as he continued.
"Well first of all I need you to test out this microphone, go on the stage and I want you to sing into it. I will be up here as usual"
Before I had time to think he had already hoisted me over his shoulder, practically running down the stairs; as usual he began to poke me in my ribs. I stood on the stage as he ran back upstairs, luckily it was only us two.
"Ok, I want you to sing this"
My arms were crossed against my chest as the music began to play.
"Disney? Seriously Gee?"
We both had a slight obsession with the song but I never showed mine unlike Gerard.
"You know you love it Eve. Come on! How do you expect to get a part if my sister hasn't even heard you sing? I know how good you are and I want you to blow them away with your perfectness"
The long intro had finished and it was my turn. Before I knew it my voice was released and I had already melted into the song. This song fitted me perfectly, Part of your World from The Little Mermaid. In ways I was like Ariel, forbidden feelings towards another, a strict father, wanting the freedom and wanting to be someone else. Every word I sang, I meant. Every note was directed at Gerard and for once I meant it.
" When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love?
Love to explore that shore up above.
Out of the sea
Wish I could be"
I stopped, my breathing increasing as the final notes were belted out.
"Part of that"
The last word was almost spoke as tears began to fill in my eyes, he didn't know how genuine my words were.
A small clap could be heard from the back of the room but as the lights were turned on I realised that it wasn't Gerard, but his sister and my snobby dance teacher, Amy. Gerard didn't take his eyes off me, his mouth opened with shock; it's as if he was in his own world.
"Well well well, hasn't someone got a good pair of lungs on them"
Amy's bittersweet voice echoed through the room hitting my eardrums. I wasn't scared of many things. Needles? A little. Spiders? No. Death? No. Amy? Yes.
Gerard literally jumped out of his booth making his way to the stage, speaking to Amy on the way down. I knew he never liked his sister, you could tell by the way he was around her.
"What do you want Amy?"
His worlds had hate in them, he snarled and almost spat them out.
"Well Jessica is upstairs and she needs her practice of she's going to get the leading role. Evangeline Dae, may I ask what you're still doing here? Shouldn't you be at home, harvesting some corn or something?"
If there was someone I hated more than Amy, it was Jessica. She was the most popular girl at our dance school, people would hang round her for the popularity or just for her presence. Out of no where appeared Jess, her long blonde hair just stopping above her displayed breasts. She made her way to the stage and pulled Gerard down into a hug, I could see his eyes roll as he pulled me back upstairs.
"Come on Eve, I will take you home"
My fingers entwined with his as he pulled me towards the door, only to be stopped by Amy.
"That will not be necessary Gerard, her Mother will be arriving, isn't that right Miss Dae?"
My throat seemed to tighten, I was always to nervous to talk to her never mind compete against her theories and lies. I looked at Gerard with questioning eyes as his grip got tighter on my hand.
"No, Amy. I told her Mother that I'd bring her home"
Amy seemed shocked to be tested, her gaze moving between us both. I knew she didn't approve of me being friends with her brother but that didn't stop us.
She obviously wasn't finished as she wanted to challenge us some more.
"You don't even have an extra helmet for her"
Jess looked up at the scene and snorted to herself, stupid posh bitch.
Gerard disappeared for a few seconds which resulted in me staring at my feet in my typical nervous state. I knew Jess and Amy would be staring at me, each disapproving my initial presence or existence. After what seemed like hours of waiting he finally returned with two helmets, handing one to me. I accepted and watched as he slipped it onto his head.
"Eve, lets go"
He picked up my bag from behind his desk with his hand, giving his free one to me to hold. Obviously I accepted, like him I put the helmet onto my head. We both ran outside into the winter air, the cold air attacking my skin. Goosebumps began to invade my ivory skin, my hairs on my arms standing upright. A small muffling noise came from Gerard's helmet, something of which I couldn't understand. He repeated himself, pulling off his helmet as he did.
"I said, are you cold?"
Once again, like him, I pulled off my helmet and nodded; sheltering my head with the helmet again. My braced teeth were chattering and creating an unusual sound as they hit against each other.
"Here you need this more than me"
Slowly he draped his leather jacket over my shoulders, squeezing them slightly as he did. Very quickly he let go, I missed his mere touch.
His arm soon became present around my shoulder bringing me closer to his body heat. There was a strong aroma of body spray generating from his body, once again I knew he was just looking out for me. Being the big brotherly person he is meant to be. Gerard Arthur Way. My friend. My best friend. My only friend. Friends, it seems that's all we will ever be.
We had walked down to the car park, neither of us cold, or at least it didn't feel that way. Gerard's motorbike was there in the abandoned car park, nothing else even in touching distance of it, most of the citizens these days would probably fear the driver of such a vehicle. Not me, I knew Gerard for who he really was; an older, sweet, cute, innocent guy.
Not once had he ever took me for a ride on his bike, we had spoke about it before but I'd never seen it from this view. I could hear Gerard stifle a laugh as I tried to climb on, I was quite a small person, a petite form but I was never good at climbing. Two strong hands were placed on my hips, one on each side. They lifted me into the air and onto the bike, I turned to the figure that I noticed as Gerard and smiled; it's a shame my helmet was on. Soon his long slim leg pulled itself over to the other side of the motorbike. With his helmet on, he once again spoke only this time I understood him.
"You might wanna hold onto me babe"
I loved it when he called me babe, he said this to most of the girls he was close to, but with me it made me feel special. My hands found their way around Gerard's waist and I soon found myself closer to Gerard than ever before.
We had spoke to my Mother about getting me a 50cc when I'm old enough, obviously she said no. She didn't want me near a , what she described as a "death trap", me and Gerard just laughed at her. Our laughter resulted in her famous eye roll.
The bike began to shake as Gerard put his keys in, it sent vibrations through my body. This only resulted in me hugging him tighter.
Finally, we set off and headed toward my house; the bike was faster than I first expected but I soon got used to it.
Passing cars would beep their horn at the ruffians they thought we were. I didn't notice nor care, this is the most freedom I'd ever had. No one ever treated me like an adult, I was always told I was still a child. At 15, yeah I still was a child but I wanted to be like everyone else I spoke to. Soon I'd be older, the sweet age of 16, it seemed like a lifetime away but it was coming faster than expected. It seemed that I was only friends with people older than me, everyone my age was usually getting drunk, having sex, things like that. I mean, I had already done most of that but no one knew, I learnt to keep it a secret; especially from Gerard. One of the only things I hadn't done was have sex, I was waiting for a special guy to come along.
Darkness was engulfing the few stars that lay in the night sky, the moon only shining its beauty brighter. Something seemed different about the night, it's beauty was captivated in my mind.
All that beauty was stopped when I arrived at that familiar home. The bike halted to an abrupt stop, Gee stayed cool about it but I released a small squeal... Again...
I removed my arms from his waist and sat in fear and shock. His strong arms were present around my waist lifting me off his vehicle and onto the daunting pavement, leading me to a hell I call home.
Every light was off, but one. The illuminated TV shone through the window and reflected off the nearby car. My head snapped to the left realising what this illuminated light meant. Dad was home. My Father was usually a calm, relaxed person; on the outside. When I was home he'd beat me, brutally attack me, threaten to rape or sometimes kill me. Some days I'd appear with bruises or cuts on my face. If I couldn't hide them with makeup then I'd usually have to lie, the usual one was that I had been in a fight; that was the only one.
"Do you want me to walk you to the door Eve? I mean it looks like someone is in but I just want to check, I don't want you being outside in this weather"
My throat was dry as tears began to fill up in my eyes. Gerard pulled off my helmet and placed it in my trembling hands, his other hand brushing a hair behind my ear.
"Umm, no thanks, I have my key"
His helmet was present in my arms and his jacket around my body, I could tell that he was freezing. Goosebumps on his arms, the chattering of teeth, all the usual signs.
"Oh here, I forgot to give you your jacket and helmet"
Gee just laughed at my attempt to give him both his jacket and helmet, pushing both of the objects back into my arms.
"Just keep them for a bit, you look better in them than me anyway"
I managed to stifle a laugh before crossing the road and grasping my hand on the garden gate. My hand didn't move from the frosted gate, my body shaking with a mix of coldness and fear. A lump of emotions building up inside of me.
Maybe I could turn back and go with Gerard, I didn't have to go home, did I?
It was too late by the time I turned around Gerard's motorbike was already gone. Not even a shadow left behind for me to stay with.
The lump in my stomach began to slowly take over my body, no part of me able to move. It was like I had control of my movements, by the time my brain had time to think my body had already moved until I stood facing my door. My eyes darting toward the handle and my body taking control. My long, winding fingers twisting the handle and my clumsy feet guiding me inside.
The door behind me was shut, I was captivated inside the terror of my house. A single glow beaming from the television, a dark, fearful figure rising from the corner. I was inside, no where left to run. No one to call for. My father had found me. I was in for a night of pain and torture.