All morning I have been feeling sick. When Gerard left this morning, I felt guilty. He looked at me with a smile and said, "I love you so much. I can tell you anything." he kissed my head and left. I stood at the door staring into space as his words repeated in my head. It's like if he knows something or I'm just too paranoid, everything he says seems to relate to trust.
Ms. Joyet is out today for her anniversary so there's no class for me. My job is until later so guess what I'm going to do the rest of the day? Nothing!
Can today get any more boring?
I put on some music and spread out my mat and stretch a little. As I sit on my middle splits, I make a phone call to Gerard.
"hey Eddie." he answers.
"hey, what are you doing?"
"oh man, I wanted to hang out."
"oh I'm sorry I'm booked for the whole day. I have to stop by my school and do a payment."
"And then after that, I'm heading down to the studio with the guys. Sorry babe but I'll surely miss you."
"aww I'm desperate without you right now." I switch spots and lay on the floor bringing my leg up towards my torso stretching out my hamstring.
"why don't you call your friend Shanlle to hang out with you?"
"oh.. Nah we're not that much of friend's. I'll just finish stretching and go walk around town to out-bore myself. Maybe I'll pass by the video store."
"alright, I love you Hailey, with all my heart."
"I love you too Arthur." I giggle.
"ew, don't use my middle name." I giggle again and turn around when I hear a thump behind me. I find Annie in tears carrying two suit cases.
"Gee let me call you back." I hang up and stand up. "what are you doing?" I ask scared for the answer.
"Eddie I'm leaving." she says with tears pouring out of her eyes.
"what? Did I do something wrong?"
"no.. It has nothing to do with you. It's me. I'm going to Canada."
"and you're telling me till now?!"
"yes! Because that way you won't stop me from going!" she slightly raises her voice.
"oh my god Annie.."
"and here.." she hands me some paperwork.
"what is this?"
"they're the papers for the condo. Just sign it and it's under your name. You can sell it, rent it to someone else, whatever. It's yours now."
"Annie.. Why are you doing this?" I put the papers on the couch and hug her.
"because I love Carlos. I can't stand being without him and he's as excited about this as much as I am. So I hope you understand."
"oh Annie. I surely understand you. Love can make you do stupid things but if this is what makes you happy, I'm more than happy to encourage you."
"thank you Eddie. But I'll miss you so much!"
"I will too. You'll always be my bestest party friend." I laugh making her giggle.
"oh yeah. Since the 8th grade baby!" she laughs and kisses my cheek letting go of my hug.
"what are you going to do about your job?" I ask her.
"well I have my own site where people hire me from and I'll sell some of my photography or join a paparazzi group. I dont know! Something will turn up okay!"
"like always. Well then.. I guess this is it."
"I guess so. I'll call you."
"alright, I'll be waiting." we say our last goodbye and she heads out of the door. When I'm left all alone, I drop to my knees and cry.
My best friend is leaving me. I've been lying to my boyfriend and this Harry thing is driving me nuts. Can this day get any crappier?!
I soon get up and drag myself to my bed taking a nap before I have to get ready for work.
I sat up on my bed and checked my watch. I didn't sleep much. I still have some time before I have to be at work but even then, I still get up and get dressed. I look out my window and notice the dim sun that barely shined in my room got dimmer making my day even gloomier. sigh
I get dressed and exit my house and since I still have some time left, I decide to take the ferry down to my mom's restaurant. It'll give me some time to think and I'm in no hurry anyway.
As I walked down the street, I look up at a very nice buliding that had just been remodeled. I stopped to look at a sign that read buy your brand new loft today! Since I have some time, I decide to step in and check it out.
I talk to one of the agents and they take me up to the 7th floor out of 10 to a loft that was so extraordinary.
"wow, look at this view." I comment out loud. The whole wall was a huge glass window with an amazing view of beautiful New York. It had great open and wide space too.
"and if you come over here, you'll find the bedroom." the agent takes me into the master bedroom that's almost as big as the living room. It's a bit smaller but it doesn't matter. Big enough for a couple. There's a walk in closet and huge bathroom with a nice jacuzzi. Sweet. We head back in the living room where we go up the stairs to the upper room. It's smaller than the master bedroom but perfect for and indoor gym. Something I've always wanted.
This loft is perfect. Great wide open space. Very luxurious. Amazing view plus a jacuzzi. And!! Within in my budget! Oh god, wait till I give Gerard the surprise.
I think Gerard and I will finally live together.
"thank you so much for coming to see the loft. Hope you liked it and I'll call you tomorrow after next as a reminder for our appointment." the agent says.
"thank you and have a nice day." I shake her hand and exit the building.
This might just be the highlight of my day. The only fun and amusing thing I've done all day. I just can't help but create all these perfect little scenes living with Gerard in that loft. We will make the best memories.
So as I walk over to the ferry, I remembered Gerard's job is just around the corner so I decide to stop by as well.
I enter the video shop and see a few people roaming around but no sign of Gerard. So I start to roam around myself.
As I roamed the isles, I hear someone ring the front desk bell. And out of the other side of the room, I see him coming out with some videos in hand wearing glasses. I giggle to myself at the sight of him as he goes behind the desk to check the videos out. Once he was done, I approached the desk.
"oh my god, what are you doing here?!" he said once he noticed me. He came around the desk and welcomed me into a nice hug and kiss.
"I was walking around and decided to stop by like I told you."
"oh, well I kind of didn't expect you to come. But I'm do glad you did. God, I missed you." he hugs me again.
"oh I missed you too. Why are you wearing glasses?"
"oh.. Because I like using them to look cool. But they're not real."
"you're such a dork." I laugh.
"where are you headed?"
"to work. I'm taking the ferry."
"you want me to pick you up afterwards?"
"yes please. That would be great!" I hug his neck circling a finger through his hair.
"your hair is getting longer." I say brushing my fingers through it.
"yeah, I need a haircut."
"just a small trim is fine." I lean in closer to his ear, "not too much though. Because then what will I have to pull when you give me pleasure.." I purr in his ear. Then the little bell rings again.
"I have to get back but.. I won't cut if that's what makes you happy." he kisses me again biting my lip as he pulls away and winks at me goodbye.
"see you later." I call and step out.
As I took my my brake at work, I sat around in the garden eating a banana while checking my blog. I've become addicted to it once again.
Going out with my crew. Tonight was great. Harry posted.
Then he posted another, Too bad my lucky charm isn't with me today. I miss her :( I wonder who his lucky charm is. Must be that Veronica girl.
I then look up when I notice a trio of cars enter the parking lot like a pack of wolves. A nice black Range Rover, a white Mercedes and a grey Lincoln drove in and parked. The people that came out were being loud and disturbing so their conversations were heard from where I was sitting.
"this restaurant is amazing you guys." a girl says. I see a tall guy behind her approach her.
"Hope you're right Carly." they say and enter the restaurant. And afterwards, I don't mind them too much.
Well, my time is up. I have to get back in.
I enter through the back door and when I do, my mother approaches me.
"We need you. Table by the chimney needs to be served."
"coolio." I grab my notepad and pen from the desk and walk towards the exit and enter the main room. When I notice who I'm serving, my heart starts to pound and I enter the kitchen again.
"mom I can't serve them." I approach her.
"why? Why do you look so pale all of a sudden?"
"that's Harry mom, Harry! With his dancers!" I then remember his post. Did they really have to choose this restaurant?!
"no honey go, you can't hide your face forever."
"mom no, please."
"sorry honey. Be brave! Show your face and don't be awkward! Come on, I know you. You can do it. You don't let anyone know your weak side. You're a leader."
"you're right, I can do this." I nod rather rapidly and exit the doors again tall and proud.
"oh come on, where's our waiter?"
Sammy complained. I looked around at all my dancers and couldn't help but feel proud. And nonetheless, feel proud of myself for creating such successful piece. Stressing over it was a bit worth it after all.
"hey guys, welcome to Orange Grove." I look at our waitress and my heart stops.
"oh my god Edith!" Carly says and stands to hug her.
"you work here?" she asks.
"yeah, my mom is the manager. How are you guys doing?"
I trail out of their conversations shutting my eyes and bowing my head. I feel my face turn hot and my heart explode out of my chest.
Oh my god, can I just get out of here!?
"Harry.." Hailey, who sits next to me, nudges my elbow.
"what are you ordering?" I clench my fists that hide in my pockets and look up at her. She looks at me with those piercing eyes of hers.
"uhh, the pastrami with the um.." I stutter and look down at the table.
"asparagus?" she replies.
"what kind of drink?"
"coke." I reply. Everyone turns their head and look at me. She too looks up from her notepad and raises an eyebrow.
"okay, is that all?"
"yes." Carly replies.
"I'll be right back." she smiles and looks at me. She turns around fading her smile and gives me a blank glare.
"cool night huh." I look up at my dancers who are already looking at me weirdly.
"coke?" Carly says.
"what's wrong with that?"
"I thought you didn't drink coke." the dancer who's known for forever changing colors of hair, Michelle, replies.
"yeah well, people change."
"but it's Harry." Scott says making everyone laugh.
"hmm, I seen how you looked at her." Shanelle butts in. Everyone agrees looking at each other.
"what is that suppose to mean?"
"we know Harry." Shanlle says.
"know what?" Hailey nudges me again.
"you had the hots for Edith but since she denied you, you feel embarrased and don't talk to her anymore." Hailey laughs covering her mouth and then I do the same.
"wh-what? Is that what you guys believe?!"
"or what, is it not? Or is it something else?.."
"there's something else. I know it." Scott slams the table and everyone agrees.
"why would you say that?"
"Kate and I have been the longest in the company. I think we know when you're lying. Isn't that right Kate?"
"come on Harry, tell us." Carly says.
"oh God, fine. Yes, I did like Edith."
"oohh!!!" they all say startling everyone in the restaurant. A lady passes by and looks twice recognizing me.
"oh Harry, how are you?" she stops.
"hi Ms. Lynn, I'm fine and you?" can it become even more awkward?
"great. Didn't expect to see you here."
"oh well, one of my dancers, Carly, brought us all to celebrate our success for my company."
"oh very nice. Well then, let me congratulate you too with drinks on the house." she smiles and everyone chants.
"thank you Ms. Lynn."
"have a nice night." she winks and trolls along.
"isn't that Edith's mom?" William says.
"oh god.." I bang my head on the table.
"this is getting more mysterious. How does she know you Harold?" Shanelle starts his questioning again.
"because.. I met her.."
"am I being interrogated by my own dancers?"
"yes and if you don't tell us, we'll leave you here with the whole check!"
"we won't dance full out tomorrow!"
"I thought we were family Harold!!" they all start arguing pressuring me and so then.. I blurt out.
"'cause we dated okay!" they all shut up.
"behind our backs?"
"well, we didn't want it to get out of hands and since all of you are so into gossip we didn't want nasty rumors spreading around!"
"weren't you with Hailey?" someone says and Hailey gets tense next to me.
"yes.. But that was the past. That's not what we're talking about here!"
"okay, so.. What happened?"
"well, it started off well but ended bad."
"that, I cannot speak of because it's between her and I only. It has nothing to do with the company. So don't ask."
"fine but at least tell us who broke up with who."
"I suggested it and she agreed. So technically me but we both decided it would end."
"but she's so beautiful!" William blurts out, "how dare you dump such beauty!"
"well thinks weren't going as well so we just had to."
"do you still like her?"
"well no. But she lives in my memories. And I'm trying to keep it my past but I can't. Because we've left things unsettled."
"awww..." all the girls moan.
"you should talk to her." Hailey says grabbing my arm.
"no.. I dont know if she would want to."
"you never know if you don't try. We'll help you out." Shanelle says.
"don't you like Harry?" Carly asks him.
"yes I do, but I don't like seeing him sad." he strokes my leg from under the table.
"thanks guys but I'm not sad. Just confused."
"aww.." the girls say again. Then, Edith comes around again.
"so my mom said to send this.." she puts a plate of hot garlic bread balls on the table and a wine bottle.
"having a nice night so far?"
"yes, especially seeing you Edith." Scott says.
"Edith?" Shanelle tugs Edith's shirt.
"I think you and Harry need to talk." oh god, can this get anymore awkward? She looks over at me and back at Shanelle.
"yes honey, we know." he strokes her forearm.
"you told them?" she says with anger in her voice.
"now don't get mad at him. It's our fault. We made him tell us because we all already suspected. Now you and him need to talk."
"please... Edith." I finally speak. The girls softly moan again and she looks at all of them, and then me.
"fine, let's go outside." the dancers help me make my way out and the girls chant, "Heddie Heddie!" we make our way out into the garden and take a seat at a table next to a huge tree with Shining lights.
Oh god no, what does he want to say to me? Is my dream about to come true?! Does he really miss me?!
We sit in silence for a second till I speak, "so, how was your Christmas?"
"I flew up to Michigan and visited my parents."
"spent it with friends and family. We all went to Linda's dinner party. Remember Linda?"
"of course I remember. How's her baby?"
"big. She's big and looks a lot like her."
"that's nice. How's ballet going?"
"I have to balance time between work and my social life. Ballet takes half of my day sometimes."
"I can agree with that. We've been busy with production."
"so I heard. I went to watch it yesterday."
"you did?" I look at her and she looks back at me as she moves herself into a criss-cross position.
"yeah, it was an outstanding performance. Good job."
"thanks." then there's silence again. I start to feel awkward but I speak up and get off the table and stand in front of her.
"listen Edith, I don't know why I brought you out here. It's a waste of time. But it was nice talking to you."
"it's not a waste of time because I need to let my conscious free."
Okay, so we might be on the same page here.
"lately, I've been feeling vulnerable for the fact that we have left things unsolved."
So we are on the same page.
"our brake up wasn't all bad. We said what we had to say but in terms of feelings, I'm quite confused. From what I feel, I'd like to say I'm sorry for what happened. Such a good relationship was ended because of what was going on. From what I know, I know you didn't want to brake up with me and I.. Well.. I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted. So I'm sorry.. If I left you with harmed feelings. Trust me, this has been roaming in my mind for a few days and I know I would feel better if I said I'm sorry. But I want you to know that you live in my memories as a good guy and I never have and never will regret being with you. You helped me in a tough time I was going through so thank you."
"thank you Edith. Your apology is accepted and yes, I will admit I was heart broken in the beginning and I missed you dearly. But time healed my broken heart and now,
It's only happy to know that you were once mine and we had an amazing relationship. You literally said everything I wanted to know and say and I'm thankful for that. My conscious can now be at peace as well."
"glad to hear that."
"but one thing that I'd like to know is if you'd like to continue being friends. You're an amazing person and wouldn't want to lose someone amazing in my life. Besides, I won't make it awkward of you won't."
I giggle, "of course I'd like to be friends. Thank you, for being mature about this with me. You're an amazing person too." we both close the space between us and embrace each other in a friendly matter.
"am I interrupting something?" someone else's voice fills my ears. A voice I've started to fear. Edith pushes me out of the hug and we look at him like scared fishes that are about to be eaten by a great white shark.
"Gerard I- how'd you know I was here?"
"your mom told me. Very nice place huh? It's very romantic and hidden. Perfect to hide away from the world where two people can share their love away."
"this isn't what it looks like." I interrupt.
"shut it scumbag. I believe I was talking to my trustworthy girlfriend"
"Gerard.." Edith says with a groggy voice with tears spilling from her eyes.
"come on, Isn't your shift over?" he smiles.
"I'll head back inside." I announce. They don't respond but keep looking at each other deep into their soul.
Glad I escaped.
When I went back to my table, they all look up at me.
"did you guys get back together?!" someone says.
"of course not you twit, she has a boyfriend."
"yes! Now shh! Here they come!" all of them--even I--turn our heads to watch them come out of the kitchen and exit the restaurant. He opens the door for her and she follows.
"did he catch you guys?" Carly asks.
"and what happened?"
"not sure. I left but that guy is hella pissed."
"he's pretty cute." Sammy comments.
"he is." Carly agrees.
"so tell us what you guys talked about." Shanelle says and then everyone gathers up closer to hear my story.
I drove us out of the parking lot in silence. I didn't speak nor did Edith. She cried silently to herself curled up in a ball.
I knew it. I knew it all along. Yesterday, when I came to look for her at the restaurant, I talked to her mom and she told me where she was. She was at Harry's opening production. She also said Edith was going to tell me and she expected her to tell me, since that's the reason why she let her have the day off. But no. I was so mad to know she was there. I just wanted to go there and pick her up myself. But no because I knew I would make a fool out of myself and make Edith mad making this a bigger mess. So when she came home and lied to me about where she was, I couldn't help it. I wanted her out of my sight. So I did leave. Her lies fueled the anger burning inside me . But when she caught up to me and held my waist, I felt bad so I held her in my arms. I didn't tell her I knew where she was. I waited to see if she told me the truth but no. And that's what angers me the most, because it proves she doesn't trust me.
I parked in front of her building and went around to her side of the car to open the door. She looked up at me with red puffy eyes and just took the hand I held out for her. I took her keys and opened the front door and we walked up holding hands but with no words. I opened her front door and we both stepped in. I let go of her hand to close the door and she turned around looking at me nervously.
"Gee, I can explain." she finally spoke when I walked in the living room sitting down on the couch.
"there's nothing to explain." I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"yes there is. Please let me explain."
"Eddie, you lied to me. Why did you lie to me? I know where you were last night." I stand and look at her.
"yes, your mother told me everything and she's mad at you too for not telling me. Why didn't you tell me?"
"because I know how you are. You wouldn't have let me go."
"you don't know that. And not only did you lie, but you were with him! Can you explain that?!" I raise my voice and she starts to cry again.
I hug her. I wrap her in my arms tight as she sobs gripping on to my shirt.
"do you..miss him?" I dare to ask. She pulls away.
"no.. No.. I don't miss him. I love you Gee and only you."
"then.. Why were you guys hugging.." I start to tear up as well at the thought of her actually missing him. I am not about to lose her again..
"we were making up. He was there with his crew and they pushed us to talk about our brake up and we did. I just told him sorry if I left him broken hearted and he said it was okay, that he managed. And then we agreed on staying friends and we hugged. That's when you came in."
"I am not about to lose you.." I cry and hug her.
"no Gee, you're not. Ever. Not until death brakes us apart."
"Eddie I love you. At that moment, when I saw you guys hugging, my heart shattered and then went into flames. hawks imagining that you still loved him and.. God, I don't even want to imagine. Eddie, don't ever leave me."
"I won't Gee. I promise you." she cries.
"and like we've talked, we're different people getting to know each other. If you would have told me, I would have let you gone because I trust. You not telling me, scared me. So please, next time, just tell me where you're going or what's going on no matter the situation. Please."
"I promise you. I won't ever do that again. Nothing that bothers you."
"oh Eddie.." I pull away cupping her face and kiss her like if it's the last kiss we'll ever share. She pushes me against the couch and climbs on me kissing me all over. She starts to take my T-shirt off and I unbutton her blouse. I push her onto the couch and squeeze her exposed breasts as I kiss down her stomach unbuckling her pants. She tugs at my hair and I come back up to kiss her lips.
"if that's what makes you happy, then pull all you want." I whisper to her as I slide my hand inside her panties. She tugs tighter at my hair and bites my lips. She kicks off her pants and holds my hand helping me stroke her down there. She starts to pant and her soft little moans make me grow tighter in my pants. I then lick down her torso leaving a trail down to her womanhood. I take her panties off and return her the favor from the other night. She tugs at my hair lightly as lick and suck.
I flick her clit with my tongue as her moans grow stronger reaching climax. She props up on her elbows arching her back and when she's reached boiling point, she pushes me off screaming into the cushions. I wipe my mouth and smirk as I make my way back up, kissing her breasts on the way and looking at her over-satisfying face. She opens her eyes and we lock eye contact smiling.
"you're... Amazing." she pants and kisses me.
"oh no, you are." she giggles. She lays for a second calming her breath. When her excitement has left her body, she sits up grabbing her panties and putting them on. She stands up and hovers over me giving me a quick kiss and going into her room. I follow grabbing my shirt, her blouse and bra and walk in her room to find it empty. I then kick off my shoes and take my pants off laying on her bed with only my briefs. She comes out of the restroom wearing a T-shirt and joins me on the bed turning the lights off on the way.
"what if Annie walked in on us." I comment laughing as she wraps me between her arm and leg.
"no.. Sadly, she left today to Canada."
"oh.. She left without telling me goodbye? Sucks!"
"did you know already?"
"yeah, she told me a few days ago."
"oh.. She told me she didn't want to tell me because she knew I'd stop her."
"wouldn't blame her."
"you know, you should move in with me." she kisses my chest and then strokes it.
"great idea. This condo is so much better than my apartment. I'll tell my manager I'm moving out tomorrow."
"perfect. I have a surprise as well."
"and what is that?"
"you'll find out soon." she says, kissing my chest again and giggling.
"I hate when you don't tell me." I complain and she laughs harder.
"goodnight Gee." she says climbing on me like a koala. She looks into my eyes and kisses me.
"goodnight sugar." I tell her, squeezing her bum softly and then wrap my arms around her back. She rests her head on my chest still in the koala position and falls asleep on top of me.