All I want is a kiss.
Gerard’s knees hit the end of his bed and he gently drops me down on my back. It’s dark and I can’t see anything…but I can feel him and I can almost hear his heart beat as it pumps hot blood around his body under the skin. I still have my legs wrapped around his hips while he leans down on top of me. I feel his hands slip underneath my shirt. His fingertips glide along my skin, up over my chest. His lips kiss my neck and sends hot shivers of pleasure up and down my spine.
I feel him move his hands away from me to support himself as he hovers over the top of me. All I can see is black but I can hear him breathing and I can feel his coffee breath wash over my awaiting lips that he has yet to kiss. I loosen my legs and move further up the bed to make room for him. His bed is soft and comfortable as I lay on top of the covers and duvet. I fell the bed shift under Gerard’s movement as he slowly climes on to the mattress. My breathing hitches as the anticipation and excitement throw my stomach in all directions.
I feel his hands gently grip my hips then slide down to my knees before he slowly spread them apart. I gasp and hold my arms above my head while he runs his hands back up on my inner thighs. I resist the urge to buck as I don’t want to seem too desperate for his touch. His thumbs gently brush over the top of my crotch as he continues to push his hands up my body till those artistic fingers of his are resting on my ribs under my shirt. I feel his warm breath seep through the denim of my jeans as he kisses my inner right thigh. My heart pounds hard and my lungs feel too small as I try to catch my breath.
He elegantly moves his lips along the stitching of my skinny jeans up to my groin. I groan softly as he places his lips upon my harden cock over the top of my pants. I hear him huff out a silent laugh as he drags his hands back down over my ribs, lightly grazing the skin with his nails. I grip on tightly to the sheets as he holds onto my belt and drags his teeth over the denim of my crotch. Holy fuck that feels good. I open my eyes wide and stare at the darkness while trying not to buck my hips as he bites the top of my inner thigh then moves to kiss my groin again.
The anticipation is driving me up the wall. I want skin to skin contact. I don’t care if it’s just holding hands. I want to feel him, touch his skin. I want him to kiss my lips. Why hasn’t he kissed me yet? I Sit up and push on his shoulder so we’re facing each other in the dark. I lean forward to try and capture his lips but he’s already moved to my neck. No! You’re not meant to do that! I scream inside my head. I move my head and nudge his cheek with my nose. He moves away from my neck and softly pecks my nose. I can’t help but smile a stupid grin as my body heats up, I am so glad that he can’t see my face at that moment in time. His fingers gently grip the hem of my top as he slowly begins to lift it up. He removes my shirt and I slowly come back to reality. Wait…He hasn’t kissed my lips yet.
Before I can do anything he finds my weak spot, a particular area on my neck that just seems to drive me wild and I moan, I moan shamefully loud. I feel him smile on my tender flesh as he rolls his tongue on my skin. He pinches me with is teeth and I gasp at the sensation. I have to cover my mouth to muffle the increasingly loud moans and groans that escape my lips, I pray that no one can her us…well… me since I’m the only one making noise. Gerard is giving me a hicky and by the feel of it it’s going to be there for at least a month. I would protest but the things that he does with his mouth on my neck creates an overwhelming amount of pleasure that render me useless, Nothing more than a warm, moaning blob of fuzzy feelings.
I just want him to kiss my lips then he can have his wicked way with me. I whimper out loud. If he kisses me on the mouth then I will know this is something more, oh how I want it to be something more than a one night fling…is that way he’s avoid pressing his lips to mine? Does this mean nothing to him? Oh shit! What if he’s just experimenting with me, see how I feel? No this has to stop! I’m not some fucking science project! I have feelings…for him. I don’t want to go any farther if all this means nothing to him. I pull back suddenly and push him away.
I twist around and carelessly wave my hand around on his bedside table searching for his lamp. I find it as I nearly whack it to the floor. I quickly switch it on and a golden glow fills the room instantly. I blink a few times and make sure it’s not going to fall off before I turn back to Gerard. As soon as our eyes meet his expression changes from stunned confusion to guilty sadness.
“I’m sorry.” He quickly spits out. I just blink at him then realize that my eyes are watery. Shit! Why am I getting so emotional over this? I just look at him. We’re both panting and I feel exposed kneeling on his bed shirtless on the brink of tears. I cover my stomach self-consciously because he is just looking at me. I want to tell him to just kiss me, on the lips, but then it wouldn’t mean the same thing because I had to tell him. He has to make the dissension otherwise it means nothing. He just continues to stare at me with wide guilty hazel eyes.
“Frankie…?” He hesitates, unsure of what is actually wrong. He looks so innocent and sad. I can’t form words. My tongue feels swollen and the back of my throat hurts as a lump builds. He doesn’t get it. I gulp in a breath of air trying to compose myself so I can talk, but I can’t.
“Frankie, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I won’t tell anyone. Please forgive me? I’m sorry I forced myself on you…I thought you wanted to,” He spits out in a panic and he frantically searches around for something. He thinks I’m upset because I didn’t want it. I’m the one that fucking started it! I clench my hands on my sides feeling stupid. I’m so fucking stupid! Gerard finds what he was searching for on the floor, my shirt. He passes it to me and watches my face unsure what to do next. I take my top and quickly pull it back over my head.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats “We’re still friends right?” He asks with fears present in his tone.
“I mean I just thought we were having a bit of fun, I’m sorry Frankie.” This was just an experimental game. He doesn’t have romantic feeling for me. He cares about me but not how I want him to care. I need to leave. I stand up and make my way toward to door. Gerard quickly stands too but doesn’t follow me.
“Frankie…” His tome is pleading as if he doesn’t want me to leave. I turn around to witness the pained expression in his eyes. He looks scared.
“Frank are we still friend?” he asks unsure of anything. I nod my head and try to look less upset even though my heart just shattered and my pride has been trampled. It wasn’t a lie. I still want to be friends even if it hurts for a while. Gerard is an amazing person and I’m lucky to have him in my life. I turn to leave again without speaking.
He slowly moves forward and reaches out to me in an attempt to make me stay but I know I’m going to break down at any moment and I don’t want him to see me all soggy and red eyed. I just shake my head and open the door avoiding his eyes.
“But…But…” He stutters wracking his brain trying to think of a way to keep me in his room. He suddenly thinks of something.
“Frank! What about the comic book?” He thinks that will make me stay but he’s wrong.
“You can have it Gee.” My voice breaks and the tears start. I don’t care about the stupid comic book any more. I don’t want it. All I wanted was for him to kiss me, for him to pronounce his deep heartfelt feelings to me and I would admit my undying love for him. But no, it ends like this. My hands empty and heart bloodstained.
A/N Ok the next update is going to be soon X) X_O