This Might Just Be A Waste Of Time, But There's No One I'd Rather Waste My Time With Then All My Best Friends (New York: Part One)13 Reviews
"Lauren, get your stuff."
Lauren was bored out of her mind. Ms.Hemsley was the most boring teacher she'd ever had. Her voice was boring, her clothes were boring. Even her writing was boring. Suddenly, Ms.Hemsley perked up.
"Jennifer! Ellie! My favorite students!" she exclaimed.
"Hey, Ms.Hemsley!" Jennifer exclaimed, doing some sort of handshake shit with her that Lauren thought boring people weren't capable of.
"Hey, girl! I saw yo status on Facebook. Gurl...I couldn't agree wit chu more!" And just like that, Ms.Hemsley was, apparently, a black teenager in the ghetto.
"Why thank you, gurl! Yo profile pic is off da hizzle! " Jennifer said, Ellie sassily snapping in the background.
"So, what brings you gurls to mah classroom?" Ms.Hemsley asked.
"Well, Lauren has a doctor's appointment, and I was wondering if we could take her out?" Ellie asked, biting her lip, Jennifer giving her the puppy dog look.
"Lauren, get your stuff" Ms.Hemsley said, dully.
"Thank you- gurl, yo hair is so pretty today!" Ellie said.
"Why, thank you! I juss done curled it!" Ms. Hemsley exclaimed.
"We have to go now. I'll chat wit chu on Facebook, gurl!" Jennifer said, taking Lauren and slowly backing out.
"K, gurl!" Ms.Hemsley exclaimed "Now, if you turn to Chapter 10, you will-"
Lauren walked with Jennifer and Ellie.
"What the fuck was that?" Lauren asked.
Jennifer and Ellie simply shrugged.
"Will I be able to do that when I'm a sophomore? " Lauren asked.
They both scoffed.
"Please." Jennifer said.
Lauren didn't care. She was determined to build a relationship like that with her teachers when she was a sophomore.
(Note: Lauren never did get to build that same relationship with Ms.Hemsley ever. Some say the Flores charm weared out. Others say that the charm is just a myth. It's still widely debated.)
"Hey, I didn't know I had a doctor's appointment." Lauren said, remembering why she was out of class.
"You don't." Ellie stated, as she opened the door to reveal a black van, which contained the whole gang. "We're going to visit New York."
"Mah people!" Jennifer exclaimed. She spent her first few years in New York, but moved to New Jersey, where Lauren was adopted and Ellie was found on their doorstep. (Note: Whether Ellie was found is a widely debated subject. Historians everywhere debate this. Scientists are still experimenting. No one knows if Ellie popped out of air, was raised by wolves, or really appeared on their doorstep. This has ripped apart marriages, pitted siblings against one another, and started wars.)
"Yeah. You have prison pals." Ellie said, as they walked to the car. They got to the van door and Lauren knocked on it.
"Open the door." Lauren said.
"Get on the floor!" Jennifer exclaimed, when the van door flew open.
"Everybody walk the dinosaur!" Bob sang with Jennifer, pulling her inside. Lauren rolled her eyes
"Weirdos." Lauren whispered.
"And you think you're normal?" Ellie asked, getting into the van. Everyone burst into a fit of giggles.
Lauren got inside, closing the door behind her.
"You're all freaks. I hope you know that." Lauren said.
"Oh, we know." Sara giggled, kissing Frank.
"ABSTINENCE!" Ryan shouted, pushing their faces apart.
"You tell him!" Miranda exclaimed.
"What about Skye and Jimmy?" Frank asked, shooting daggers with his eyes at Jimmy, hoping that Ryan would push their faces apart.
"Oh, they're a lost cause." Ryan explained. "They worship Santa."
"ALL HAIL SANTA!" Everyone shouted.
"Their Santaists." Jennifer said. Everyone laughed.
"Ugh, DON'T YOUR JAWS EVER GET TIRED....OR LOCK UP? JAWS LOCK UP, YA KNOW!" Frank screamed, while Sara tried to calm him down.
Jimmy and Skye just kept on making out.
"DON'T GET ANY STAINS ON MY VAN!" Gerard screamed "I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND MY WEEKEND TRYING TO GET STAINS OUT OF MY VAN!"
Sadie kissed him so he could shut up.
"NOT WHILE DRIVING, GUYS." Ryan screamed while Miranda nodded.
They pulled away, causing Sadie to giggle, while playing with Hozzie on her lap.
"So, let's do something to kill time." Sam said, Jon's arms wrapped around her.
"I have an idea!" Sam exclaimed. Everyone looked at Sam. "How about... we all make out!"
Sam started to make out with Jon. Everyone else started to make out with their significant others, except for a few people.
"We're lonely llamas." Ellie said.
"No. We're just so full of awesomeness, that no one can handle it." Lauren corrected.
"DA CLUB CAN'T HANDLE US!" Jennifer exclaimed.
The girls giggled.
"Remember Daniel?" Ellie asked. Lauren and Jennifer started laughing.
"Who's Daniel?" Bob asked.
"He was a guy who I used to like." Ellie explained "He was into disco and he would try and turn everything into a club. It was hilarious."
"Remember Evan?" Lauren asked "He broke up with me because he said I was 'Too much of a smartass'."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Bob said
"It's okay. He's fat now." Lauren said, smiling.
"Do you guys remember Alex?" Jennifer asked the girls. They frowned. "He was my ninth grade crush. I used to see him everywhere I went. Then, I found out he had a girlfriend who has her boobs hanging out. I guess I'm lucky, in a way. He kinda looked like Ryan."
"He is forever known as the Ryan Ross lookalike." Lauren said.
"Ninth grade? Isn't that a bit close to your age now?" Bob asked nervously.
"Oh yeah. Extremely. But whatever." Jennifer said, shrugging.
Jennifer then felt Lauren's breath on her neck.
"Do you like him now?" Lauren whispered tenderly in Jennifer's ear.
"No, now stop that! It feels like I'm going to get molested!" Jennifer exclaimed.
"Are you a Hozzie?" Mikey asked.
"What's a Hozzie?" Jennifer asked.
"A scaredy cat!" Mikey giggled.
Gerard stepped on the brakes real hard, jerking everyone forward.
"Mah child is not a scaredy cat! Boy, if you think you wil come up all in mah van callin MAH child a scurdey cat, you got it twisted. Da next time I hear you talkin about mah child, MAH BBY, in dat way, boy I wil slap da glasses off your face. Do ya hear me, boy?" Gerard said, like a sassy black woman who don't need to take no shit because her man got THREE jobs.
Mikey nodded like a scared white kid living in the ghetto.
Gerard kept on driving while Hozzie, who was happy Gerard had defended her, played with his black hair.
"Are we there yet?" Penina and Christy, who had formed an alliance of some sort, asked.
"No but- oh wait. Yeah. We're in New York." Gerard said. Everyone else stopped making out for a second in order to look at the sight that was New York City. Yep. It was ghetto.
Gerard breathed it in. He opened the van door and stepped out.
"This is New York Ci-" A gun shot was heard " Oh god, get back in, get back in, get back in!"
Gerard stepped inside and locked the van doors. Jennifer giggled.
"Looks like we have some exploring to do."