It had been almost twenty four hours since I’d last seen Frank. Twenty-four hours since we last talked, hugged, touched, kissed. Anything. The last twenty-four hours of my life had been terrible. All I wanted was to at least know he was okay. I needed him. I wasn’t the same person without him around.
Mikey made dinner for me. It wasn’t anything fancy. Actually he didn’t technically make anything. We had pizza. All he did was put it in the oven, and let it cook. I didn’t feel like eating. Hell, I didn’t feel like doing anything. But Mikey made sure I had at least one piece, and somehow I managed to eat a piece and a half.
Mikey left shortly after that. He wanted to stay, and I needed him to stay. But he had to work in the morning. I think the main reason he wanted to get back to work was to take his mind off Frank.
I could see in his eyes how much he still cared about him. He knows that Frank and I are together, and that we’re happy. For the most part. But, that’s not going to stop him from loving Frank any less than he did before.
I know better than anyone how hard it is to get over your first love. But eventually you do. You move on and find someone so much better than you could ever imagine. Someone like Frank. He’s just so perfect. Everything about him drives me crazy.
Of course, he’s the most attractive person on the planet. But I love him for so many other reasons. Like the way his eyes light up whenever he talks about his mom. He loves her so much, and I love that about him. Or like how every morning he lays in bed, waiting for me to wake up just so he can kiss me good morning before making breakfast.
Or how whenever he cooks, he can’t help but hum some strange tune under his breath, thinking I can’t hear. I love his confidence, and his spirit. Even after everything that he’s been through, he still manages to stay so positive. I admired that in him.
I could go on for hours talking about all the little things I loved about him. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt the tears hitting my chest. Missing him was killing me. I wished I had something, anything at all to keep my mind off this.
I did. It was terrible, and shouldn’t have even crossed my mind. But I did have something, or someone rather, that could take my mind of this horrible situation. At least for a little while. But I couldn’t, shouldn’t do it. I owed Frank that much. Especially after all the other bad things I had done.
The guilt shook my body. How could I sit here and say I loved Frank more than anything else in the world, when I had been going behind his back, doing something terrible. And then lying about it, pretending everything was okay. The worst part was that he believed the lies. And that killed me more than anything else.
I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and quickly dialed her number. Hearing her voice on the other line almost made me sick. “I knew you would call.”
“Ems, we got to talk. We can’t keep doing this. It’s wrong.” My voice cracked.
“Let me guess. You feel guilty because now that your husband is missing, you finally realize all the things you love about him?” She chuckled into the phone. “You do realize that if you really loved him, you wouldn’t have started this in the first place.”
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. It was me how went after her, not the other way around.
“Now, why don’t I come over and make you feel better.” I didn’t even try to say anything before she hung up. Because I wanted her here with me.
While I was waiting for her to arrive, I just stayed sitting on the couch. Not thinking about anything at all. Mostly, I was just trying to stay away from thoughts of Frank. It would just make me feel worse. It always did.
Sometimes I wondered why I even do this. I really do love Frank with all my heart. Then there is Emily. Blonde, tall, just all around hot. And she was always putting herself out there, asking for it. Everyday she would wear skirts a little too short, or shirts a little too tight. I couldn’t help getting lost in her cleavage.
One day I called her into my office to ask her to run an errand for me. But as soon as she was standing in front of my desk, looking as amazing as ever, I needed to feel her. Before I could stop myself I grabbed her, and threw her on my desk.
She never once said anything. Actually, I think she enjoyed it more than I did. But in the back of mind, was Frank. Waiting for me to get home so we could have dinner. I had never felt more guilty.
It didn’t end there. A few days later she was back, and we did it again. And again. And again. Each time, it was easier to put Frank out of my mind. Until eventually I barely thought about him at all.
But I never stopped loving him.
God, he would kill me if he ever found out about this. As soon as Emily got here I would tell her no, and send her home. We couldn’t keep doing this. Frank was my husband. We’d been through hell and back together. I wasn’t about to ruin our relationship because of something so stupid.
There was a knock at the door bringing me out of my thoughts. I knew it was her, and I knew what I had to do.
However, as soon as I opened the door and saw her standing there, everything that I had just been thinking about vanished. I just stood there staring at her, taking everything in. She was wearing a jacket, and pajama shorts. And I had a feeling that was all she had on.
Within seconds, her lips crashed against mine, and she forced me backwards into the living room. The kiss was short, but lustful. And I needed more.
She shut the door behind her before taking off her jacket and shorts. Just as I thought, nothing underneath. She looked great in her clothes, but even better out of them. Her words brought me out of my daze. “Bedroom. Now.”