Tristan and Frank go head to head on stage. Matt is sneaky. Frank gets a new tattoo. Gerard and Tristan get close in the back of the van, stranded on the side of the road. Tristan gets braver and m...
Running Away and Hiding With You
End of May, 2002
“Really Frank?” I gasp as I watch my brother get a scorpion tattooed on his neck. “Dad is going to kill you!” I whined as the tattoo artist outlines the tattoo. Frank’s face twists into a grimace and then he smiles. “What the fuck are you smiling about?” Idiot.
“Since when do you care what Dad thinks?” Frank giggled as I poke my tongue out at him. I am sitting on a stool in the tattoo parlor with Frank. He signed for me to get some music notes on my ankle. My first tattoo. Of course Frank already has a few. The pumpkin on his back and a couple on his arm and now a fucking scorpion on his neck.
“You know you might as well have gotten a tattoo of a fucking spider!” I mocked him. He hates spiders. Frank rolled his eyes at me and went back to talking to Jamia. Jamia is giggling like a school girl. God I love that girl. She is awesome. Frank and her have been together for years. I hope she sticks around and joins the family later. I would love that. I smiled to myself. She keeps smoothing her hands over his newly cut hair. He now has a faux hawk and I love it. Way better than those damn dread locks.
I turned my attention to Gerard, who was outside on the sidewalk talking to Matt. Fucking Matt was around all the goddamn time since Pride. Pride was two weeks ago and Gerard and I hadn’t been really alone since then. Even though I was living in the basement with him, we were hardly alone. Mikey was always watching movies down stair and falling asleep on the couch or in the floor when I make him get off my couch. Matt keeps coming over and staying till all hours of the night talking to Gerard or just bothering me. We haven’t had a chance to even talk about us. But every once in a while I get an arm around me, a hug, or a soft and subtle kiss on the cheek when no one is looking and that is amazing.
I continue to watch Gerard as he and Matt are still talking. Gerard paused for a moment and ran his long fingers through his thick dark hair and smiled at me. I flushed. Oh my god what do you do to me? I smile and try to concentrate on the needle digging into my skin. It wasn’t bad. I sat there for several minutes until Mikey walked in with a dark headed woman.
“Hey, Tristan! Are you getting a tattoo?” Mikey gaped as he walked over to Frank and myself both getting our tattoos. The woman followed him and she smiled sweetly at me.
“Yes,” I giggled, “I couldn’t resist!” I wanted a tattoo for a long time. Frank was so nice to do this for me.
“You two are crazy!” Mikey laughed and introduced the woman, “Tristan, Frank, Jamia, this is Hannah,” We all waved hello to the new woman that was about maybe I would say five feet four inches tall like my brother and she kept messing with her long dark hair with blonde highlights. Her brown eyes shone with fear of meeting new people, but hopeful from my smile.
“Hi,” Hannah said shyly. I smiled at her.
“Why are Gerard and Matt outside?” Mikey asked while taking a seat with Hannah next to Jamia.
I shook my head and shrugged, “You got me. They are always together,” I rolled my eyes.
“Frank you realize that is going to hurt like crazy tonight when we play?” Mikey chimed in as I watched Gerard chat with Matt. Go away Matt!
“I’ll be ok,” he smirked. Dumb ass.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Gerard. He was always on my mind and never ever went away no matter how much I tried to make it go away. I guess you call that, love, right?
Later at the venue, well smallish club.
“Yo, Tristan and Frank, come here!” Matt called from behind his drum kit as we were setting up for the show. Frank and I both rolled our hazel eyes and walked to him.
“What?” I spat as I stopped less than two feet from him. Frank was standing right next to me. We both had our guitars around our shoulders and were instantly annoyed by Matt’s outburst.
Matt smirked and said, “I just thought I’d let you know that this is the last show for one of you.” Frank and I cocked an eyebrow at him and didn’t say anything. “You guys better play hard. I don’t know whose getting picked.”
Frank and I walked away together then stopped in the middle of the stage and stared at each other. Was this the last time we would play together?
“Just play hard, Tristan,” Frank spoke in a hushed tone.
“You play hard,” I swung my guitar up and aimed it at him and he did the same.
“Game on!” Frank smiled.
In the middle of the set, Frank and I were all around the fucking stage like idiots. We were challenging each other to jumps and standoffs right there in the middle of the set. Gerard kept turning around and staring us down and at one point he had to break us apart because we had thrown our guitars down and pounced at each other. Like trying to kill each other like a brother and sister would. Gerard was not amused. Neither were Mikey or Ray. I turned around to see Matt laughing his ass off after Gerard had broken our fight up. That fucking bastard. He did this to make us like ridiculous.
When we walked off stage, Gerard grabbed my arm and drug me into a small room off the stage, while Ray and Mikey carted Frank off outside to talk to us separately.
Gerard slung me into the room and slammed the door behind him. Holy hell he’s angry.
“Just what the fuck was all of that about?” His face was red and I could tell he wasn’t in any mood for me to lie. He reached in his pocket for a pack of cigarette and with shaking hands lit one and took a drag off it. He then stared at me with burning hazel eyes.
I stood against the wall and said, “We were competing for the spot.” My voice sounded so small as I spoke. I ran my hand through my long damp hair and waited. Waited for what seemed like a billion years for a response from him. Come on. Speak.
“What spot? What the fuck are you talking about, Tristan?” He asked through gritted teeth with the cigarette hanging from his beautiful lips.
I sighed, “What do you mean what spot? You know the spot in the band. The one Frank and I are fighting for? The one you guys said was going to one of us not both?” I questioned while crossing my arms over my chest. I watched him think and I saw his face change from anger to confusion.
Gerard put his cigarette out against the dirty wall and dropped the butt to the floor. He then stepped forward and stood directly in front of me. This had been the first time we had been alone in weeks.
“What?” He nearly whispered. “Spot? We aren’t making you guys duke it out for a spot in the band. You both are staying. Who told you that?” He questioned while putting his hands on my arms, making me drop my arms from my chest.
I looked up into his hazel eyes and answered, “Matt.” I was still irked, but when he touched me all that seemed to just vanish. How can he have that kind of power over me?
Gerard stared down at me with a softer look now. I can breathe now. He scares me when he’s angry.
“I’m going to have to have a word with him,” Gerard simply stated then he ran his right hand over my damp cheek.
I flushed beet red and I know he saw it because his mouth twisted into a smile. That smug bastard that I am so desperately in love with. I can’t take this anymore.
Gerard then leaned down and kissed my lips ever so softly. He then shifted and pushed his body against mine against the wall, kissing me gently at first and then hungrily. I had my arms around his body, running them up and down his back while he tangled his hands into my long hair. I held onto the wet material of his t-shirt and kissed him with the same passion. I was losing control like I always did with him. His tongue pushed into my mouth with a fierce wanting and he kissed me harder. He moaned deep in his throat with each kiss, not wanting to stop. All I concentrated on was him. For some reason when we were in these situations, I can’t control myself. Like not at all. I can’t say no. I can’t tell him to slow down. I can’t tell him no. I don’t know why. It was like he had the control and I was powerless against him.
We didn’t part until someone knocked at the door and opened it without us responding, sending Gerard and I away from each like nothing had happened.
Ray stared at us in confusion and said, “We gotta get our gear. Tristan you ok?”He asked. I guess he sees the fucking blush still left in my cheeks.
“Yea, I’m fine,” I nearly snapped. Sorry.
I followed Ray out the door with Gerard right behind us. I went off toward Mikey, Frank, Hannah, and Jamia. Gerard and Ray stayed behind in hushed whispers. What the hell are you talking about?
About an hour later we were on the road back to Belleview. The van was filled to capacity with people. Gerard and I in the back, Frank and Jamia in the next seat, Mikey and Hannah in the next, Ray driving and Matt in the passenger seat.
It was getting late, around two in the morning and I could see the moon out the window as I listened to the low hum of music on the radio over the sound of snoring and giggling. Gerard was passed out next to me with his head on my shoulder and his hand in my mine. I smiled as I brushed the hair out of my face.
Hannah was talking to Jamia about the boys and I listened as they spoke.
“I met Mikey at Barnes and Noble a year back. He was so sweet to me when I asked where to find a particular book,” Hannah said as she looked over a sleeping Mikey. I smiled. That’s my Mikey. Super sweet and quiet, well not quiet to me, but to strangers.
Jamia giggled, “Yea, Mikey’s a sweet one, unlike this chump.” Jamia pointed to a sleeping Frank. Hannah couldn’t contain her laughter.
Then the motor of the van made a terrible sound and sputtered and died. Ray pulled the van over onto the side of the road. We were in the middle of nowhere next to a field of weeds.
“Fuck,” Ray sighed as he got out assessing the damage. Gerard, Frank, and Mikey woke up when we stopped and all hoped out of the van like they knew what to do when a van breaks down. Idiots. I rolled my eyes.
I watched them as they are peered under the hood to see the engine that none of them knew what to do with. Frank hopped up into the van and stared at us.
Hannah looked at him and asked, “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Something’s wrong with the engine. Not sure what it is. We’ll have to call Tim in the morning. He’s not answering right now. It looks like we are stuck for the night,” Frank announced as he got back into the van.
I laughed, “Well at least we are in a well populated area with shit to do.” The girls giggled.
Frank flipped me off and I rolled my eyes at him.
Everyone got back in the van and hunkered down for the night. I spread Gerard’s jacket out over me as a blanket and lay against the window, until I was moved. Gerard slid in next to me and pulled my body over to his in the seat to where my back was to his front and we were lying in the seat. He put his arms around me and I closed my eyes. I felt him kiss the back of my head.
No one saw us disappear in the backseat because they were all laying the same way in their seats. It was strange being that close to everyone and being able to be that close to Gerard.
I decided to be brave and venture outside my comfort zone. I turned over abruptly to where we were face to face. I could see that this surprised him by the startled look on his face.
He then smiled and pulled me closer. I put my arms around him and held him closer.
I reached up with my head and surprised him with a kiss on the lips. His body went ridged against mine for a moment and then relaxed as he kissed me back. We kissed as quietly as possible and tried not to lose control, being so close to him was hard. He smells like him and a mixture of sweat and soap and it was intoxicating. He pulled back and kissed my nose gently and smiled sweetly. I knew this was over for the night. I turned back over and closed my eyes.