A bunch of things that Didn't Happen to Light (or L).
SPOILERS for Page 58 of Death Note
AU as of Page 59.
A Bunch of Things That Totally Goodness No Way Didn't Happen to Light (Or L), Thank You Very Much, Because Honestly, Please, Who Wants to Read Such Things?
Writing them, now, that's a different kettle of fish. Or box of panda biscuits, if you prefer. Or really, chocolate-filled fish biscuits, which are my current poison.
Five Days That Didn't Happen
The first, single most important thing that truly didn't happen: Rem, wanting only to let Misa be happy for the little time she had left, wrote down L's secret name in the Death Note because L was getting too close to breaking the case and destroying both Misa and Light. Then she gave up her existence and returned to dust.
This didn't happen because it only took, what, less than a week before Light gave up and erased L's name from the Death Note with the Death Eraser for which it amused Ryuk to see him beg. In fact: five days. Possibly a few hours more or less. Less is likelier.
The first day:
It wasn't that Light missed L at all, who in life had been so irritating, even aggravating at times, even to one who prided himself so much on his control as Light. Nor did he regret the constant mental challenge the odd investigator provided. Admittedly his life had become rather stale the instant the euphoria of his truimph wore off - almost to the point of the ennui that had induced him to begin writing in the Death Note in the first place. But still, he'd defeated L and removed an inconvenient threat in the person of Rem. It was a victory worthy of being cherished and relived for a long time.
Nevertheless, he'd passed more than enough time in L's company, with and without handcuffs. Certain habits form - a measured way of moving that would not jerk or rattle a too-short chain, which wasn't very much different from his usual manner; an expectation of seeing to his side a wild-haired figure in a baggy clothes curling up on the couch. The constant pyramids being built of whatever condiments were available - sugar cubes and little tubs of cream, mostly, though there was also the incident with the chocolates Misa brought him that he preferred to not remember.
L got to eat the chocolates, but that wasn't the part he minded.
If he closed his eyes, he could still remember all these as clearly as if L were still in the room and irritating him as usual. Curiously, he couldn't really recollect much about L otherwise, apart from the habit of annoyance and second-guessing all his own moves to ensure that he would not give himself away as Kira. And the strange, intense eyes always fixed on something else for all L's suspicions and claim of friendship, until the last.
Alone in his room, he closed his eyes, still thinking of that accusing stare. L had found him out, but L was dead, so he had won, hadn't he?
The second day:
It would be a lie to say that he missed L, or that his conscience or pride had been pricked, causing him to lose sleep. Light slept like a baby, by which I mean the kind of baby you read about people sleeping like in stories, not the real kind that wakes screaming in the night for milk, a change of diaper, the colic or any number of other incomprehensible baby complaints. He slept very well.
You must understand this: as much time as he'd spent with L, he'd spent even longer with Ryuk, night and day. He was accustomed to waking to the sight of Ryuk's face hovering over his, upside down, grinning like a fool. But Ryuk was now Misa's shinigami, and Rem was dead. So there was no reason for him to expect any unpleasant surprises on waking.
Light woke up thinking again of L, which was perfectly natural, given how much time he'd devoted to thinking about how to defeat L, and L had only died the day before.
It also seemed perfectly natural to grunt an acknowledgement to L, who sat curled up on the covers beside him, eating milk-cream-filled Hello Panda biscuits and dropping crumbs on the bed. It was only after returning to his room, having brushed his teeth and washed his face that he remembered that L was supposed to be dead. Just in case L's death had only been a dream, he checked under the mattress for the Death Note he had secreted there, and looked about for Rem, who was not there.
Everything was as it should be, except for L, who persisted in being there, paying Light no more heed than was his wont. L wiggled his toes, and scratched the arch of one foot with the big toe of the other.
This was clearly a time when nothing but cliches would do. "What the- why are you here?"
L looked up quizzically at him, head cocked at an angle as he bit the head off another panda. "I have unfulfilled desires, I expect. Is that not what all the ghost stories say?"
And because Light was such a clever boy: "You're not going to rest until you expose me, is that it? I'm not going to confess, so you can give up now."
L poured out the last of the panda biscuits on the bed and counted them, then ate them one by one contemplatively. "No, I've already figured out how you were doing it all. That's done." He climbed off the bed and slouched to the computer, peering at the dark monitor with great interest. Light brushed at the crumbs on his bedcovers, but his hand only passed through them. He tried lifting the covers to shake them off, but the crumbs passed through that and ended up on his sheets.
Annoyed, Light ignored L for the rest of the day, though L haunted his vicinity in much the usual way he had done while he was alive. And ate panda biscuits, the provenance of which Light could not seem to determine. He left crumbs everywhere, and no one else seemed to see him.
The third day:
Light ignored L for as long as he could.
"What exactly are your unfulfilled desires? To eat enough sweets and tidbits to feed a third world nation?" he demanded at last as L drank his father's tea and crunched his way through another packet of panda biscuits, then ate the ghost of a slice of cake that Matsuda ate immediately afterwards before Light could say anything - not that he would have, even if he could think of a plausible reason to warn Matsuda off the cake - and sucked an insubstantial yet melting handful of Misa's chocolate off his fist.
L only looked puzzled and not excessively concerned about the plight of either Light or the third world children he was depriving. "I don't know, really." He shrugged, and began nibbling on Matsuda's box of mochi.
The fourth day:
At some point after midnight, Light decided he had had enough. It was probably lack of sleep, and the fact that L's body would be cremated and all evidence totally lost to him in the morning. He became determined that L was not truly dead, only playing a trick of some sort, perhaps with smoke and mirrors, to convince him that he was. Without telling anyone where he was going, he made his way to the mortuary where L's body lay, finessed some time alone to study L's body for final clues, and opened the drawer, fully expecting to find it empty or occupied by some other corpse.
L's body lay serenely before him, cool and pale as an L-shaped version of Snow White in her glass coffin. He looked up at L, who appeared surprised and fascinated by the sight for a moment, biting his thumb, before he vanished with a pop and the corpse sat up suddenly, cracking its forehead against Light's.
But L wasn't alive. He continued to slouch about after Light, his face waxen and quizzical, head cocked at an impossible angle at the wonder of it all, and continued unseen by everyone, though he continued to steal food - real food - which very quickly became noticed, and people began looking at Light strangely.
At his wits' end, Light called Misa.
The fifth day:
Not even for love could Misa be summoned from her bed in the middle of the night after a long day of filming. But she arrived with prompt exactitude in the morning. And screamed.
"Ryuuzaki!" It was hard to tell if she was alarmed or delighted, and Light felt it more prudent to ignore her possible opinion and simply assume she was on his side.
Also, he was very relieved to have proof of L's existence. "You can see him!"
Ryuk, curse the damned creature, looked inhumanly amused. "So it's possible to make a new shinigami like this!" he crowed, turning his head upside down to look at L's the right way up. L, perched on the arm of the couch, eyed Ryuk back with polite interest, and flexed his toes.
"New!" All at once understanding crashed upon him - Rem's Death, the unpossessed Death Note, L's mysterious reanimation and invisibility. The odd eating habits were all his own. He tried to imagine L following him through all the remainder of the time allotted to him.
"Is there any way to take back a death?"
Epilogue: What did happen
L. Such a freak. Who knows what happened to make him appear dead for a few days? Anyway, he is alive, and so his temporary indisposition had nothing to do with Kira, who has never been known to do things by halves, or change his mind and yank people out of the grave later. Watari probably died of some natural heart complaint. Too much rich food, not enough wine.
In short, L didn't die. It's a peculiar attachment Light has developed for the eccentric creature who is the closest thing he has to a peer, everyone agrees nowadays. He is protective and careful of L's well-being, though he rather frowns on L's eating habits and tries to get rid of as many boxes of snacks as L leaves lying around.
Kira has stopped killing, so L has given up the investigation as well and returned to his usual business of outsmarting every crook in the world and being paid handsomely for it. The fellowship of police detectives have also become quite accustomed to him in their long association and vice versa, and they are allowed to visit the hotel whenever he stops by in Tokyo, with Light and Misa in tow.
Misa is very understanding of Light's strange relationship with L. Wouldn't you be too, considering...?
No, it really didn't happen like this. Now stop talking about it.
Rem is still dust, though. Very odd, that. Poor thing.
Disclaimer: The Death Eraser is no invention of mine. For this, you'll have to look around on the Net for a little prequel thing by the creators of Death Note, which is also not mine.