Future set. Frerard. A bit of smut. Read to find out moar! (Mai friends' inside jokes are included as well) POV also switches often within the chapter so be aware of it. I write as Frank and my gir...
"So Gee, why exactly did you shove Mikey into the closet?" I tried to understand his nonsense logic." I've already tried to explain this to you Frank..... Anyway, Mikey said to meet him at the coffee shop, let's go." Gerard seemed frustrated. But he's really always been since Bob left. We rehabilitated him, so he's been a lot better than he used to be. But he's still not the same Gerard. "Let me get my jacket the we'll go." I sighed, blowing off his under the breath comment.
We arrived at the coffee shop to Ray, Rikki, and Mikey. Ray met Rikki a few months ago at our last concert of tour, they've been together ever since. I mean, you could see why. She was a beautiful girl with short, choppy, brown hair. She had broad shoulders and the perfect hourglass shape. But she had the worst attitude.
Frustration was one word but stress was a good explanation. Although Frank had no idea what was going on, I knew about the band planning on getting together for another 'adventure'. Hopefully nothing between Ray and him would start about this new girl. Looking at her made me want to snap her in half, Rikki gave us horrible vibes. "So guys, what's up?" I asked, trying not to snap at him. Ray knew no one was allowed at meetings..... This might be awkward getting together, but it's worth a shot. Hesitantly, I put my arm around Frank's waist to see if our relationship could be restored like the band. I didn't care if he would push away, I missed all of this.
I was not happy. Ray knew no one was allowed at meetings... Why bring her of all people?! Gerard had wrapped his arm around me, making me more uncomfortable than I already was. Ever since that awful day we can never be together like we were.
"Frank, are you alright?" I looked down at him squirming in my embrace. Then I kinda got the idea. I couldn't do this to him again. I pulled my arm away and took a step away, he was tempting me stil... As much as I hated to ignore my head, I went with what I wanted. I swept him off his feet and pressed my lips to his, not caring what anyone thought. I held him in my arms and looked him in the eyes, with him still hovering over the floor, dipped like you would in a tango. I hope it wasn't too awkward for him to endure this again, I just wanted him to know I care about him still and would give my everything just to hold him safe and tight in my arms. Hopefully he understands... Although that girl didn't, she went to open her mouth but my glare shut her up... Thank God.-.-
It was so sudden, one minute I was feeling all awkward and then I was relaxing in Gerard's arms pressing my lips to his. It was so wrong yet I couldn't help it. I missed him, and his warm embrace. He's always meant everything to me, but he had proved that I didn't mean everything to him. But today was different, I actually felt wanted. Rikki was staring along with everyone else, but I didn't give a damn. I pulled in closer and held tight, I never want him to leave me again. "I love you Frankie."
"I love you too Gerard." Gerard Way, stop making me love you more.
Those three words that slipped my mouth and the return of them kept my mind focused on Frank the whole meeting. With every movement he made I inched closer, until his head was resting on my shoulder, my arm around his waist, and there was no room for us to get any closer. It was as if my mistake never happened, it felt safer now. For most of the meeting I had my hand rested on his knee and eventually it found it's way up to his thigh. But now the meeting is over and I'm unsure of what to do.
As safe as it felt before, I felt bare not knowing what comes next. Do I treat it like old times and just let him hang around my hotel room for awhile and drink or do I let him go back to his alone or come with him?! I feel so stupid asking what to do, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. His comfort zone is safe and serene, but me? Of course I have no limit, it's been gone since those days filled with despair, drugs, alcohol, disgust, and lies.... And look where I've ended up, the gayest fuck in this coffee shop... I still don't care what people think, but you are your biggest critique. My own thoughts are once again distracting me from my biggest temptation, Frank. Instead of trailing off I simply asked, against my will, "Frank, do you want to hang out later tonight or....?" My voice trailed off, I'm so scared of on simple no. I gathered my strength and pushed myself to finish my question, fully this time, "Frank, should we just hangout like old times or give ourselves more time? I don't want to impose anything on you and ruin whatever relationship this is..." Great Gerard. Sound like an ass, needy, or whatever the hell you are. I let out a sigh at my thoughts, looked back to Frank with a smile, and held my tongue. It was turning into an awkward silence as Frank went into thought while the moon began to rise and the stars came out to play.
I could see the indecision and despair in his eyes, also a bit of lust. I couldn't say no, no matter how much I know I shouldn't go. I replied simply, "Sure at yours." Not wanting to hurt him. Well just see how this ends. There was really nothing else to say, I was just hoping it wouldn't end up like last time. Well since I'm on the topic, I'll explain: It all started when I found out Gerard was into me, I had been crushing on him for forever so of we tried it. About a month into our relationship we attempted some...... Things. I woke up the next morning to him gone and he wouldn't answer the phone the whole week. Then Bob left, everything was completely destroying him, so he turned to the drugs and alcohol. We helped out and got him clean, then here we are.
The episode of me leaving was on his thoughts. That was something even I couldn't explain, why did I do that?! The I hear him speak and he distracted me from my thoughts again. I looked at him surprised, "Frank, are you sure.... I mean..."
There was a long pause and then I saw his mouth open, getting ready to respond. "Never mind" I cut him off and walked outside into the brisk night. I would just hurt him again. The pain was too much the first time, and that was for me. If I were to do that again I swear I'd end up killing myself, I was so close last time and they saved me. I wanted it [our relationship] deep down, but I was numbed so much I couldn't feel it. When my mind became clear and not so foggy, I found myself at a bar staring up at the neon lit sign. I stepped inside and ordered myself a round to wash down my thoughts. But what if he could help me? Do I really need help? Can I not help myself?! I do want help, I just don't want him to leave me like I did to him. I deserve him to leave don't I? I pulled out my cigarettes and lit a fag to drown every thought instead. Every drag was deep and each exhale a fog that amazed my drunken vision as it swirled to the ceiling. It was rare you found a bar you could smoke in...
I knew it. He'd get my hopes up then leave like last time. I'm so dumb, I should've listened to my head, not my heart. I stepped outside.