“You’re going to love this doll.” Izzy kissed Slash’s tummy before shoving him head first into the opposite wall by his jeans. Slash’s body pressed into the rickety wood as a hot body rub...
“Axl come with me.”
“I don’t care, anywhere.”
“I’m not going back to Indiana.”
“We don’t have to, we can go anywhere.”
“What about the band? What about Slash?”
“We don’t need them. We don’t need any of this.”
“I like what we have. Look at what we’re building.”
“We can build it again, start over. We built all this shit after you fired Chris.”
Slash paused, his hand on the doorknob. He listened as much as his spinning head would allow. Duff had driven him back to the hotel running every traffic light and fishtailing every corner. Slash was sure he had whiplash on top of a black eye and a bleeding lip. Once parked, in four spots, Duff had slammed the door and stalked off without speaking and to Slash’s relief not slugging him again. Slash stifled a groan as he heard his red head’s voice.
“Is that what all your moodiness is about? That blonde fuck? You have a better one right down the hall, but you have it in your fucked up mind that Slash is playing some sort of mind game with you. You honestly think a man that engrossed in his guitar has time to fuck up your life?” Slash’ eyes widened slightly. “Why can’t you just get the fuck over whatever Slash did to you? You came on to him.”
That’s only partially true Axl, Slash thought, instantly regretting it as his mind submerged into the undertow of past memories of first experiences and pain he wished he didn’t have.
The first time Slash saw Izzy play he saw Axl first. In a third rate nightclub on the Strip he and Steven crawled into. They literally crawled into the entrance between five leggy blondes who were flirting with security to get in without identification. The somewhat known band Hollywood Rose performed that night.
Smoke hung heavy like a foreboding curtain, molesting the children of the Sunset Strip with every motion of their bodies. Steven’s eyes locked in on woman after woman who all flitted around the dance floor and bar. In that moment Slash saw Axl.
The singer’s hair whipped in the air trailing like violent flames of a comet. Jean clad hips jived from side to side as he sang powerfully from his wide mouth. From deep within that man’s throat came a hypnotic shrill, guttural and pristine all at once. Slash couldn’t break away as he gazed at the sprightly body possessed by the music that he couldn’t hear a single chord of. His ears and eyes fixated only on the singer.
The lead guitarist launched into a solo as the singer vigorously swayed to the corner of the stage. Slash ignored the musician, knowing he could play better and followed the singer who flung an arm around another guitarist. Slash cocked his head wondering why he hadn’t seen the dark musician before. It was as if the guitarist had simply appeared, not emerged, nor drifted. Simply appeared. The guitarist’s wide grin was natural yet hollow. He seemed to recognize the familiar touch, but the connection of the music he played ran even deeper to his core.
Slash’s fingers danced at his sides searching for something to stroke out a matching riff to the one he now heard perfectly over the lead guitarist’s riff. His eyes snapped back to the singer as he retook his position out front. With one final piercing musical cry the show ended, the singer thanking everyone and tossing the mic away.
“Dude you totally have to go talk to that guy.” Steven yelled excitedly tugging on Slash’s t-shirt. Slash’s eyes shot wide.
“What?” Slash asked coming out of his trance. Damn, his legs ached as he bent and straightened his locked knees.
“The singer, dude. The guy you’ve been starring at this entire time. Man, don’t even begin to tell me you weren’t checking him out. You haven’t noticed a single chick since we got in here. Now give in to your raging bi-sexual teenage boy hormones and go get your boy toy. Here!” Steven pushed a bottle of Jack he swiped off a vacant table between Slash’s lips. “Liquid courage! Now go have some fun and don’t come home tonight.”
Between choking Slash watched his blonde friend skip away into a throng of bleached blonde women in hopes of finding his own night toy. Slash wiped his mouth unsure of what to do. His eyes knew. They quickly spotted the singer beside the stage shaking a towel around his long damp red tresses. He had taken off his leather jacket and stood in full glory of a skintight white cotton t-shirt. Slash took another long pull of liquid courage before setting off toward the singer.
“Hey man, good show,” Slash said smiling as he clapped a hand on the singer’s shoulder. Steely grey eyes narrowed.
“Fuck off hippie!” The singer snapped throwing Slash’s hand off and shimming into the crowd of women.
Slash blinked unsure of what just happened. He had been rejected that was a given, but damn he just gave the asshole a compliment. While his mind tried in vain to wrap itself around the chain of events he searched out the comfort of Jack. Damn it empty, damn it.
In search for libation Slash wandered into the long humid tunnel of carnal glutton at the back of the club. The sex depraved, fuck ups, and junkies cloistered together in their meetings of encouragement. Lurking in the shadows the phantom like shade, Hollywood Rose’s rhythm guitarist. Izzy had a blonde pinned beneath him against the wall. Both had frenzied drugged out grins plastered on their faces. The blonde slipped his fingers between Izzy’s belt loops tugging their hips together. One hand stroked Izzy’s chest as the other tangled into his hair. Izzy smirked resting his forehead against the blonde’s wrapping his exposed arms around the other’s neck as his collard shirt slipped off his shoulder. They kissed.
Slash’s mouth went dry. He had known about his feelings toward men for a long time, but now seeing this just inches away from him, something he wanted so badly was too much. He whimpered unbeknownst to himself. A set of intense umber eyes locked onto his feasting on the spark of vulnerability. Eyes that twinkled with amusement at him, mocked him yet seemed to crave him. Desires Slash fantasized about for years in the safety of his bed now stirred deep in his belly with ravenous discomfort. Izzy quietly winked at him as the blonde bit into the base of his neck, eyes fluttering shut as a tiny pink tongue peeked out to lick his top lip. Pleasured groans rumbled from Izzy’s mouth as his torso languidly ground into the blonde. The guitarist’s entrancing gaze still held Slash captive, taunting, begging him to come over but Slash remained frozen.
Axl saved him by ripping the pair apart. The three started yelling and screaming at each other. Slash strained to see, but the crowd shifted and they were lost. As soon as his legs could bend Slash ran out into the back alley. The night air hung thicker than in the purple smoke enshrouded club over the carious asphalt yet it felt like a slap in the face as he meandered amongst the litter. Sharp pins of a forewarning storm air shot into Slash’s exposed flesh with a brittle bite. He shivered slightly as he pressed his forehead against the lukewarm chipped bricks.
Long fingers curled around Slash’s chin guiding his face around as fingers wove into his tangled corkscrew curls. Slash held his breath, clamping his eyes shut. Hard guitar calloused hands guided him back into the wall.
“You’re just like a fucking, doll,” a slurred voice purred. Slash’s eyes flew open to find the rhythm guitarist smirking at him with wild eyes. He held Slash’s cheek, parting the chapped plush lips with his thumb before striking his tongue down the caramel colored man’s mouth. Slash gasped, but immediately fell into the precocious rhythm the guitarist built with his tongue. His hands shook dangling heavily at his sides. Izzy broke the kiss with a long lick up Slash’s cheek.
Tickling fingers brushed Slash’s cock in swift undulating motions causing him to arch forward and back in sinuous motions rocking into the other guitarist. His head fell against Izzy’s shoulder as Izzy pressed his mouth to the nape of his neck. Breathing heavily over Slash’s naked skin sending shudders down his spine, fingers trembling and toes curling in his boots. Slash whimpered as his shaking hands rose to caress Izzy back, but Izzy pulled away.
“Fucking doll.” Izzy murmured and vanished into the dark cerulean gloom of a heartless L.A. night.
Slash quickly joined Hollywood Rose, but Izzy had long since left along with the original guitarist. Despite their fights Axl seemed to tolerate Slash or at least liked his ability to play guitar. As much as Slash desired Axl he couldn’t get the mysterious guitarist out of his mind. He kept daydreaming about the night in the alley. Eventually the group disbanded and Slash began jamming out with Steven and a Seattle punk they met named Duff. On a meek L.A. moon lit Friday night fate had the guitarists meet up again at a London show.
Izzy was still the same subtle force of musical prowess that first enchanted Slash, but more erratic. The notes strung harsh, borderline lifeless from his once hypnotic fingers as they fell across the strings of his guitar. The show ended with a band of screaming groupies trying to drag the musicians off the stage and into their arms. The band was only too happy to oblige them.
“You following me doll?” The voice slurred slightly. The lean, smiling guitarist propped himself against the wall using it as a clutch as he came down from the stage. “Or looking for an audition?”
“Y-Yeah,” Slash stuttered.
“Which one?” The musician flopped to his side against the wall still grinning.
“The band broke up,” Slash blurted out.
“Not surprised.” The guitarist’s soft lips curled into an amused grin. “Sorry.”
“Yeah, okay.” Slash turned. A warm hand grasped his elbow turning him to face burning brown eyes. Slash smiled as his eyes traveled down the slender sublime features of Izzy’s long face. Dark brown hair fringed slightly at the ends fell over his ears and face.
“What’s your name?” A hot calloused thumb ran over Slash’s brow gently sweeping a rogue curl away baring his bronzed face. Izzy smirked withdrawing his hand.
The guitarist cocked an eyebrow as his lips shifted. “Real name?”
“I don’t like my real name.”
“Is it Mervin?”
Slash burst out laughing. “No.” Izzy lifted his chin impatiently. “It’s Saul.”
“Is Izzy your real name?”
“Close enough. Come with me?” Izzy didn’t wait for a reply grabbing the neck of Slash’s shirt he hauled him into the bathroom slamming him into a stall door, locking it. Roughly, Izzy kissed him crashing their mouths together in a heated collision of teeth and lips. Slash’s body bucked against Izzy who wasn’t allowing the younger man any room to breath continuing to devour him inch by inch. Breaking away Slash’s panting escalated into frenzied moans as Izzy sucked his neck, yanking his hair. His lips rubbed over the caramel skin breaking it enough to turn a deep shade of violet.
“Izzy,” Slash barely managed to gasp as his hand clawed desperately at Izzy’s black t-shirt beneath his jean jacket. Izzy shoved Slash back against the wall hard. Determined hands tore Slash’s shirt in half baring his slightly round belly and hairless chest. A slippery tongue traced crisscrossing patterns around Slash’s supple torso sliding lower and lower. Slash’s hips bucked as Izzy’s tongue swiped across the top of his waistband.
Biting the top of Slash’s jeans with his teeth Izzy tugged popping the button. Slash squirmed shifting his hips slightly from side to side gasping for air. Leaving his underbelly alone Izzy reclaimed Slash’s neck biting hard sucking his skin to reveal red violet bruises. A tear fell from Slash’s eye as he moaned, but sniffled.
“Aw, did I hurt you?” Izzy teased. “Let me kiss it and make it better.” He peppered Slash’s skin lightly with butterfly kisses. The pain eased a little as Slash fell against Izzy trying to cradle the rail thin musician closer. Izzy threw him back into the wall slithering down his chest like a snake. Slash undulated, whimpering at the fire like streaks Izzy’s blunt nails left in their wake. Izzy arched his head up casting him a smug smirk before catching Slash’s zipper in his teeth, pulling it down with deliberately aching slowness. Slash arched trying to dig his quivering hands into the chipped stall.
“Do you like it rough, doll?” Izzy purred evilly before burying his nose into the top of Slash’s jeans licking and nuzzling his groin. Izzy nudged the jeans down lower Slash’s slender hips, knuckles teasing the top of Slash’s cock before pulling it out. He rolled the shaft over in his hand drawing out a scream of indecipherable emotion.
“You’re going to love this doll.” Izzy kissed Slash’s tummy before shoving him head first into the opposite wall by his jeans. Slash’s body pressed into the rickety wood as a hot body rubbed against his backside. Teeth nipped his spine from the base of his neck down to the top of his ass. The teeth continued to bite as the jeans fell away from Slash’s shaking hips. He felt Izzy’s hard penis rub against his ass. “You’re going to love how I can make you feel.”
Slash screamed as Izzy shoved himself all the way in. Pain jolted straight up Slash’s body, the red-hot sting trying to split him in half. Izzy pulled out quickly muffling Slash’s mouth with his arm, his thrusts continued more slowly now. Slash tasted blood as he bit hard into Izzy’s flesh. He allowed Izzy to ravage his body, unsure of what he felt. Pain? Love? Lust? Pain, definitely, a lot of pain as Izzy rocked harder changing the angle to find that spot. Izzy was claiming him, bringing him into the world Slash wanted to become a part of. He thrust back matching Izzy’s punishing pace. Taking it, accepting it, the roughness and power he had fantasized about. Izzy growled, threading his fingers deceptively sweetly through Slash’s hair tucking it behind his ear. He kissed his jaw tenderly while squeezing and twisting Slash’s cock.
“You’re cuming with me.” Izzy chuckled into his ear. Slash tore his mouth from Izzy’s arm howling as the pain exploded into a blinding light of frenzied passion. Tears ran down his cheeks as Izzy filled him, pumping Slash for every last drop. They came down together almost sliding off each other’s sweat soaked bodies.
Slash wanted to say something, but all his body could do was whine, and try to curl into itself while his mind fought in vain to make sense of it.
“Police open up!” Loud thuds fell against the bathroom door.
“Shit.” Izzy muttered quickly re-buttoning his pants. Grabbing a small bag under the toilet he grabbed Slash’s arm yanking the smaller man’s pants up. “Move.” He pushed Slash up and out the window, climbing out after him just as the police broke the door down. Grabbing Slash’s wrist they took off running down the dark maze of intertwining alleys.
Izzy leapt onto a dangling fire escape and proceeded to climb. Slash followed instinctively, but began to wonder why as he scaled the wrought iron. Izzy didn’t seem fazed as he lifted Slash into a hot dank room. Slash fell to the floor panting slightly. Izzy stood over the dark skinned man breathing calmly.
“They were looking for drugs.” Izzy explained as though he had never been running while Slash panted, looking at the bag of white powder he held up.
“Izzy.” Slash said unsure of what else to say. Izzy shrugged striping out of his black shirt using it to wipe away the blood on his arm. “Does it always hurt like that?” Izzy snapped his head around slightly puzzled. Slash recoiled. “I mean I wanted it, I think. I wanted you, but I didn’t think it would, I mean I would’ve but I don’t, I don’t…”
A flushed finger stroked Slash’s forehead soothingly. He paused pulling back slightly looking harder at Slash. “You’ve never been with a guy.” Slash’s eyes widened. Izzy grinned giving him a quick peck to his lips. “Sorry didn’t know you were a virgin.” Slash scowled insulted. “Shush doll, I’m not trying to make fun. First times are never good. Mine wasn’t and I even topped.”
“I love you,” Slash said impulsively not wanting Izzy to leave. He felt alone and scared, yearning for comforting arms to ease his confusion. Izzy shook his head.
“No you don’t.” And with that Izzy was gone.
Slash stared at the door in a daze as the wave of the events hit him. His ass was sore. Limbs ached. He wanted to leave, but only managed to curl up on the floor shaking slightly as the adrenaline and pain subsided leaving him alone just like Izzy. Yet a nagging desire to chase after him rumbled in his lower body. Eyes lidded as sleep claimed him. Outside, night’s shadow receded giving way to the dark acid blue sunlight.
Specks of dust danced in the spikes of hazed sunlight that cut through the bent and broken blinds. Hands gingerly pulled Slash back against the side of a broken bed. Draping his arms across the soiled mattress his head lulled to his shoulder lips pouting slightly in a slight smile. A rough but kindhearted hand cupped his chin tilting his head back. Slash was met with the same enchanting face he saw that first night on stage.
“You’re still here.” Izzy questioned as his thumb traced over Slash’s forehead. Slash smiled lazily slightly fearful as Izzy’s other hand stroked the full length of his belly.
“Did you think I would leave?” Slash’s brow cocked up.
“Usually that’s how these things work.” Izzy mumbled indifferently, but his tender touch made Slash purr. His belly quivered as his dark legs rose slightly off the white powdered floor in a small shuffling rhythm.
“Why did you quit Hollywood Rose?” He asked between soft mews.
“I was pissed at Axl.” Izzy withdrew his arms causing Slash to shiver as the harsh air chilled his flesh.
“Why?” Slash fought back a whimper as he looked at the other man. Izzy was naked except for tight torn up jeans. It was evident he had just gotten back in eyes laden with sleep. All his movements seemed to be sinfully swift and silent as the wind. Slash licked his lips imaging his touch. It seemed you only felt Izzy when he wanted you to feel him, but when he wanted you, you never wanted him to stop.
“He fired Chris.” Izzy said lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag.
“Was he your boyfriend?”
“My writing partner.” Izzy corrected then shrugged leaning back against the headboard bending one leg up. “…Yeah that too.”
“I’m sorry.” Slash looked down bashfully. His thoughts snapped to Axl and the fight he had watched the three of them have. “Was he jealous?”
Izzy’s cigarette stopped mid air, starring blankly. Slash’s shoulders tensed under the penetrating obscure gaze. Wanting to crawl inside himself he crouched farther down the edge of the mattress. Izzy’s brows knitted as his lips formed into a lazy smirk.
“You thought Axl was jealous of us?” Tossing his head back Izzy laughed holding his stomach trying to control his laughter. “Naw man, Axl’s not that way. You’d have to give him a road map and a fucking compass to get him comfortable with that way of life. He just found out Chris was cheating on me, so he kicked him out of the band.”
“Was he?” Slash’s head emerged above the mattress. His wild curly mane fell over his eyes shrouding his face.
“Yeah.” Izzy shrugged. “We were never an exclusive couple. We liked to share and sleep around. Didn’t bother us. Axl just has this weird hang up about monogamy.”
“So you didn’t love Chris?”
“Something like that.” He flicked the ashes dismissively.
“I still love you.” Slash crawled over the mattress bending his torso over the bed gazing at up at him. Before he could say anything else Izzy silenced him by pushing his cigarette between Slash’s pliable lips.
“Sure you do doll.” Izzy mused vaguely. Scratching his naked chest, he lay back against the headboard. His eyes blinked heavily.
“I’d like to.” Slash hopped up onto the bed draping his body over Izzy’s thighs resting his chin on the soft flesh of his belly. Pushing his hair back, Slash widened his eyes into his best “please love me, I love you” puppy dog eyes.
“Dude, don’t look at me like that. You can’t love me. You’re too young and I’m too old.” Izzy ruffled his hair back into his face, plucking his cigarette from Slash’s pursed lips.
Slash tried to shoo the hair out of his face with a puff of his breath. “You’re only three years older than me.”
“Like I said, ancient.” Izzy joked. Slash wrinkled his nose before quickly pining Izzy’s arms above his head.
“You don’t even know what to do now.” Izzy said cocking his head to the side as his tongue flicked over his upper lip.
“Then show me what it’s like to love you.” Slash’s voice pleaded.
Izzy exhaled submissively, arching his chin up. “I’m going to regret this someday.”
Slash smiled burying his face into Izzy’s shoulder rubbing his cheek against a nipple. He kissed the small pink nub licking the skin around it. “I love you too, Izzy.”
The doorknob turned suddenly. Slash shot backwards but his eyes still locked with the guitarist that had fucked him in the bathroom, that he begged to stay with him.
“Hey doll.” Izzy said quietly, fingers encircled around a silver pendant. He toyed with it, never allowing it to be in full view. Slash tried to catch a glimpse, but Izzy turned. “Axl, I think Slash needs a nurse.”
“Holy shit!” Axl rushed over to poke and prod at Slash’s bruised face. Despite the stabs of pain Slash’s eyes kept drifting to the silent musician. Had he just called Slash by his old pet name? “Slash what happened to you?”
“Uh, I um fell. Slipped on one of my empty bottles.” Axl rolled his eyes dragging Slash to the bed before running off to the bathroom.
“I’ll make sure your guitars get on the bus, man.” Slash heard Izzy’s voice but never saw the fading presence.
“You’re not moving!” Axl arrested Slash’s shoulders back to the bed. “Now keep still and tilt your head back.” Axl’s dexterous fingers tried to dab away the blood. Despite enjoying his lover’s rare and overly sensitive ministrations Slash struggled. Izzy was so open once with him, Slash thought. He doubted Izzy was that open around Nikki. “Baby please stop I don’t like to see you bleed.”
Slash froze as he felt the benign tenderness fall from Axl’s lips straight into his heart. His blood quickened and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Allowing Axl to apply the makeshift ice pack to his eye. Slash reached up twirling the strands of cold fire around his fingers. A genuine, artless smile spread over Axl’s lips as he applied the last band-aid. He kissed the side of Slash’s mouth with a cherub’s touch.
Slash nodded pulling Axl down so he could burry himself in his singer’s hair. One stray tear fell from his cheek as he thought of what he had said to Izzy as he repeated them to Axl. “I love you.”
“I love you.” Axl responded pushing his bruised lover away. “Now tell me what really happened. Who hit you? Was it Sixx? It was him.”
“No, no Axl please believe me. It wasn’t.”
“Then why won’t you tell me?” Axl’s temper churning with heated exasperation.
“Because it was my own fault. He knows more about what I’ve done…to Izzy.” Slash’s voice fell as tears began forming. Axl gently wiped them away.
“You know I’m sorry Axl. You know I am.”
“I told him I was.”
“You’re not lying.” Axl’s tone softened slightly as they searched the dark man’s honest brown eyes.
“I wouldn’t lie to you Axl. I never would, baby.” Tears welled up in his eyes. Axl pushed the manic curls aside shushing him. Chasing away his love’s tears with a gentle brush of his thumb, his eyes turned steely again.
“I believe you, but we need to get Izzy and Duff together. He’s the best thing for Izzy.” Axl studied him. “Don’t you agree?”
“I’ll kill Sixx if you want me to.” Axl smiled kissing his ear murmuring I love you’s and other expressions of sentimental love.
Unbeknownst to the plotting lovers a semi coherent blonde overheard their words as he quickly walked and stumbled down the hall.