Its almost the end guys please R&R
P.S this is a little longer than previous chapters and has a wee bit of smut in it...
I nibbled at my lip nervously, in just a matter of hours one of us could die. I had only known the guys for a little while but I honestly love them, their my family. I didn't want to lose any of them...I didn't want to die either.
We had barely spoken to each other since Gerard had explained the phonecall, Mikey and Gerard just sat together all day holding each other close and Bob had taken Ray out for beers. We all knew that this could be our last night together. Alicia had to work, to keep up appearences, and I sat alone in Gerards room writing a letter to Gerard just in case anything happened..
I can honestly say I had never felt love in my life it was just an empty word to me, a make believe emotion people relied on for comfort. I thought it silly really, that is until I met you.
You proved to me that love really does exist and my heart swells with it everytime I look at you, you send my blood rushing through my veins when I'm close to you and I can't thank you enough for that. I just needed you to know, in case anything happens, how I truly feel about you.
I can no longer imagine my life without you, it's like you have blessed me with a reason to live and not simply exist in this fucked up world. You took this screwed up boy into your home and showed him a caring he had never had before.
I need you to know how amazing you are, how beautiful you are and also how amazing you make me feel. When we kiss it's nothing like the fireworks and bullshit you see in the movies, it's so much more than that. It's like every single piece of darkness I have ever had in my life is destroyed and filled with light because you simply love me, because you are here in my life.
At first I was afraid of the new feelings I had, I was terrified by the way my heart jolted each time I saw you and couldn't decide whether I liked the sweet cuddling up on the sofa Gerard or the dangerous dark side of you but now I know the answer.
I am in love with you, every single part of you and I wish so hard I could shout it out for the world to hear but really in the end I only need to tell you because you have become my world. I love you Gerard Arthur Way.
I began referring to you in my mind as my dark knight, like Batman because I learnt that in the darkest knight you'll find a light and I found that in you.
Thank you for showing me what true love means.
I brushed the stray tears that had escaped my eyes and placed the letter inside the sketch pad on his dresser where I knew he would see it. He would probably want to draw one last time in case he never got to do it again. As I brushed my fingers across the cover of the book Ray called from downstairs, we had planned to have one last meal as a family before tomorrow when some of us may not come home. I slipped the letter inside and made my way through the house and down into the kitchen.
We all laughed and joked around the table, even having a food fight at one point. Alicia had come from work to join us and Bob pulled out a six pack of beers once we had finished our meal. Gerard and I drank one too as it could be the last one we ever have. The conversation turned to old memories and Mikey asked what happened when I first met Gerard
"I was hiding with the cash I got from the liquor store waiting for the cops to pass y'know, I was sat like a fucking homeless dude in a cardboard box and when I eventually got out there was this dude just standing smoking at the end of the alley. I swear man I almost shit my pants, I thought he was gonna fucking mug me dude!" The guys burst into hysterics and I laughed with them. Once the laughter died down Bob frowned a little at his half empty bottle and took a deep breath
"I really do love you guys y'know, I'd be honoured to die for any one of you..." A tear rolled down his cheek and Ray pulled him into an embrace, Bob was always the strong one and to see that emotion set us all off crying. Suddenly he pulled away from Ray and satv up "Okay, thats enough tears. Tonights gonna be happy whether you pussys like it or not..." We all started laughing again but deep down we all felt the same. We were terrified.
It was about 11;30 when we all decided to go to bed, I embraced each person tightly before going upstairs to leave the guys to have a moment. Alicia did the same, as we reached the top of the stairs I hugged her and thanked her for everything. She just nodded and kissed my cheek before turning and entering Mikeys room. I wandered up the steps into mine and Gerard's, stripping off before slipping into bed.
About ten minutes later I heard Gee come in and shut the door. I glanced at him and saw him sit at his dresser and flick the lamp on, nervous about the letter I lay there in silence as I heard him open the book and mutter "What the...?" My nerves grew more and more as I heard him open the envelope and unfold the paper. For what seemed like hours everything was silent, only the sound of Gerards breathing was present until suddenly he stood up and began walking toward the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to feign sleeping.
"Frankie?...Frank, I know your awake..." I rolled over to face him and met his tear filled gaze "This was beautiful baby, thank you..." I moved into a sitting position and rested my forehead against his "...I love you too, more than you could ever understand" I pressed my lips to his softly as tears fell from both of our eyes.
Gerard pulled back and slipped under the covers positioning himself on top of me, his lips quickly reconnecting with mine as we began to move against each other "Gerard, I want you to make love to me tonight, please...." He nodded softly and pressed his lips to mine again his hands running softly down my sides and slipping into the top of my underwear "Wait..." I shuffled frm underneath him and grabbed his Ipod from the bedside table as he opened the drawer retreiving the lube.
I found the song I was looking for and pressed play, Gerard smiled softly at me. Tonight, Tonight by The Smashing Pumpkins began playing softly through the air and Gerard planted a small kiss on my cheek "I'm sorry we don't have the candles..."
"Its okay, I'm just so amazed you remembered...." He leaned forward and crashed his lips on mine, gently sliding my underwear down and tossing them to the floor, quickly tossing his own to join them.
I spread my legs open and got onto a comfortable position before Gerard slipped his first finger inside of me. This time there was no foreplay, it was all about Gerard, me and the moment we wanted so desperatley to be ,lost in. After Gerard finished prepping me he lay between my legs and positioned himself at my entrance "I love you Frankie...." He slipped inside of me and began slowly thrusting.
We both moaned quietly and shared tender kisses as whispers of love to each other. This time felt different, amazing, because this time we wanted to express how deeply we felt for each other. I tightened my legs around his waist and buried my face in his neck as he found my prostate and began nudging gently against it with each thrust. His arms moved to wrap around my shoulders as I dug my nails gently into the flesh of his back and let my head fall against the pillow. He nuzzled against my throat as he began moving faster "Frankie...I'm gonna..I'm almost there...cum with me baby..." He sped up a little more as I felt my abdomen tighten and came across our stomachs, Gerard releasing inside of me. He thrust weakly a few more times before pulling out and just laying ontop of me, his head still buried in my neck.
After we cleaned ourselves up we lay together, Gerard on his back and his head on the pillow. His arms wrapped around me as I lay on my side, my head on his chest. I felt myself beginning to slip into sleep and whispered 'I love you' as my eyes began tro droop. Just as sleep was taking hold I felt Gerard press a kiss to my head and whisper softly into my hair...
"If we survive tomorrow, I'm going to marry you Frankie..."